Author's Note: Song is by Keith Urban...such a good song and it's all I could think about when I wrote this chapter.
Chapter 38: Making Memories of Us
She wasn't sure she heard him right; Wasn't sure that it wasn't a hallucination from the deepest corners of her brain; but when she drew back and saw the sincerity and the love etched in his dark brown eyes, she knew. Knew that he was serious, perhaps more serious than he'd ever been in his entire life–only this time she wasn't scared.
However, the thought that he hadn't fully thought through what he had asked begun to sink in...to scare her. What if he changed his mind later on? How would she cope with another loss? She wanted to say yes before either of them could change their minds, but her mouth couldn't form the words, and so, she started to do what she had learned to perfect in the months past—try moving him away before he took a step back himself.
"Nick..." She swallowed, but couldn't say anything more...and she knew that he was waiting. Her own heart hammered in her chest...thump...thump...thump...as she blinked back the beginning of tears. "I...I'm not sure you're thinking clearly..."
He shook his head, maybe trying to clear his thoughts or get the nerve to continue on. From her perspective he looked more determined than she'd ever seen. "Jamie...I'm serious about wanting to marry you." He let his hand run down her arm, and grabbing her's he led her back to the bed. Only when she sat down facing him did he continue. "To tell you the truth I knew the first time I saw you that I would fall in love with you and I'm sorry that I just blurted it out that way...when I don't even have a ring to give you...but it's how I feel. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to build a life with you...and if you don't want to have any more children than I'll understand...but at least give me the chance to make you happy."
Before she could say a word he stood up and walked over to the cd player that was sitting on top of one of his dressers. He fiddled for a moment trying to find what he was looking for. "That's it!" Triumphantly, and somewhat nervously, he held up a case and grinned at her. "This will say it all." He predicted, opening the player and putting it inside. He pressed play and skipped to the song he was looking for, then came back and sat down beside her, taking her hand into his. "I bought this because every time I hear this song I think of you. I think of the man I can be for you." He said softly. "The man I know I can be."
When the guitar began she could feel her heartstrings tugging, urging her to see the sweetness, the tenderness of the situation–urging her to let him in. And when the unmistakable voice of Keith Urban filled the room, even though she had heard the song a million times, it was as if she was listening to it for the first time.
I gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I want to sleep with you forever
I want to die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow
where the wild bees swarm
And I'm gonna love you
Like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust
makin memories of us
I want to honor your mother
I want to learn from your Pa
I want to steal your attention
like a bad outlaw
I want to stand out in a crowd for you
a man among men
I want to make your world better
than it's ever been
I'm gonna love you
like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust
making memories of us
We'll follow the rainbow
where ever the four winds blow
there'll be a new day
coming your way
I'm gonna be here for you from now
this I know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits
but it's all right now
I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you
with a warm wet kiss
and I'm gonna love you
like nobody loves you
and I'll earn your trust
making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
and I'll win your trust makin memories of us
And when it was over he reached and traced his finger over her cheek, over the wetness that had been left there by two single tears, the only tears she'd allow to fall. "I can't tell you that I won't ever disappoint you–and I can't tell that I'm perfect because I'm not–but what I can tell you is that I will love you every single day for the rest of my life."
What could she say?
"I don't know what to say, Nick..." She said softly. "Are you sure that this is what you want? We haven't been together very long."
He sighed. "Do you know what?"
"What?"
"We've known each other for almost two years–and we've lived together every single day–don't you think that counts for something?"
She furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"
"Think about it, Jame." He said earnestly. "We've gotten to know each other in the best way–the way that counts more than any other."
"And what way is that?"
"Friendship." He grinned. "We had nothing to hide..." He grinned wider. "Well...some of us were longer opening up than others..." He teased. "But we could always be ourselves around each other and I think that's what is most important. You can take you time to decide but no matter how long it takes I'll be waiting for you to give me an answer."
"You don't need to wait." She said somberly, causing the grin to vanish and his eyes to widen in expectation. "I know what the answer is."
He waited with baited breath, with a longing so deep in his heart he felt like it might break if she didn't say what he needed to hear. "Jamie...what is it?" He asked. "You're killin me here, darlin."
She closed her eyes for a long moment, hoping, praying that she was making the right decision; the decision that would be best for both of them. And when she opened her eyes, the green, now almost a velvet, were sparkling.
"You've got a deal cowboy."
"Is that a yes?"
She nodded. "Yes...I'll marry you. Today, tomorrow, whenever. I'll be your wife."