Chapter: 33 Professional Responsibilities
*Tris POV*
It has been a crazy couple of weeks, initially Luke and the security team had myself and the Greys under constant surveillance, but no actions were taken against us. In the meantime, the new Rebel group has been releasing hate-propaganda against the bureau and specifically the Genetically Pure. There have been no more bombings or murders, just the threat of unrest.
At both the request of the Greys and myself, the security detail was finally released. I found it very unnerving to have a shadow everywhere I went. But it also gave me the excuse to keep to myself.
I have personally been working on my project in the laboratories, and still working on my physical therapies in the Leadership Medical ward. Aside from those two things, I pretty much stay at home. Christina, Cara and Caleb have been great about visiting me at my apartment for dinners. Thankfully, no large group dinners for me. No sign of Tobias or Nita as well.
Luke has finally been able to get his schedule under control, so we have had two training sessions since the initial attack. I really enjoy our time together. He has become a good friend. I think back to when he brought Tobias up to me at our first session back, the conversation had a rough start, but we both said what we needed to say.
+o+++o+ Flashback +o+++o+
I am sipping some water after our hand to hand combat training, Luke is still requiring me to wear the protective gear. The only positive is that I can tell he hits harder then he would had I not been wearing it. It is nice to feel challenged, and although it took me awhile to get acclimated to his training style, I feel like I am thriving now.
"So, did you know that Tobias Johnson is on my Surveillance Team in the control center…well – of course you do, you were there the night of the initial attacks, and he was front and center with his coding skills." Luke says while examining my face closely.
"I did. Why are you bringing him up?" I counter and face Luke head on, raising my eyebrows.
He smiles at me, "I wanted to see your reaction when I mentioned him."
I raise my chin, "Here you go? Take a good look at me then." I tell him.
"Oh I always take a good luck when it comes to you Tris." He says teasingly, a huge grin on his face. "But in all seriousness… I have recently had to review his file, he has actually been assigned to a very high level project in my department." Luke then pauses, "Imagine my surprise when I read all about his history with your friends, specifically with you Tris."
I hear something in Luke's voice, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't think it is jealousy. I almost feel like jealousy is something that Luke is not capable of, being that he comes across so secure in who he is. I say that with amusement, not as a judgement of him.
"Let's not beat around the bush Luke, if you have something to say – please do it now." I challenge him, stopping what I am doing to face him head on.
"OK, I feel hurt. I feel like I have literally opened up my entire soul and put it on display for you – while you have been holding out. Which I completely understand – you have every right to do that, Tris. But now, I just feel like I should not have given you…given you so much." Luke's eyes are blazing, but it is not anger I see. It is raw emotion, passion. I feel my pulse quicken, and I literally need to control myself from launching myself into his arms. I slowly breathe in and out to calm myself.
What shocks me, as I find myself comparing him to Tobias, because let's face reality…at this point, I still compare EVERYONE to Tobias. I am amazed that he has just been so honest with me. So in tune with how he feels and why. And now he is looking at me, waiting patiently – and I have a choice to make. And I need to make it quickly.
I can either shut him out or lie to him, which has always been my go to. It is something I realize I am still doing today with my closest friends. I have kept so many painful moments and information to myself, compartmentalizing things away – hidden. Hidden away, why? So that I can try to completely forget they are real. So I can pretend things are ok. Can really trust in someone other than myself?
Am I willing to give Luke what he has already given me? Honesty and the power in knowing what I am really feeling?
Yes.
Suddenly tears fill in my eyes. I can't even believe how quickly they are there, and this time I don't hide them or pretend I am not hurting.
Luke's face immediately softens. "Tris," he says as he pulls me into his strong arms. God he is so tall...and such a man. My arms tighten around him in return. I allow myself to enjoy the way he feels in my arms. "I didn't mean to upset you like this. I am such a jerk sometimes…ok more than just sometimes. But I am sorry!"
Holding him close to me, I immediately feel better. Stronger, even. As quickly as they came, my tears have gone away. And I know what I want to do. I pull out of his arms so that he can see me, really see my face. I smile at him and I mean it.
"Luke," I start.
"Tris, did you just fake cry in order to soften me up? I mean – it worked like a charm, but next time you should hold the emotion a little longer to be believable," he says in an amused tone, his eyes alert as he seems to be studying me.
We both start laughing, and I give him a firm push. That basically does nothing against his strong body.
"You're right, I have not shared with you the pathetic turmoil and angst that has been going on in my life. The truth is…that as much as things have picked up, and fallen into place for me, the relationship with the person I thought I needed the most – has not. I know you read the file, so what more do you want to know?" I ask.
Luke now shrugs, "I just was upset that I didn't hear it from you. But I think I know the high level. While you were thought to be dead, your boyfriend was impacted by the memory serum…and now you are back and he is gone. The person that he used to be at least."
To hear him say it, almost makes me laugh at how comical it sounds. So matter of fact. So simple. The truth is, as simple as it may seem – it has been slowly destroying me. It was at least. I have been moving forward, moving past him.
And that is exactly what I tell Luke. To his credit, he listens to me. He doesn't interrupt and most importantly, he does not judge me.
I even tell him about Nita. Once I describe her and the situation between her and Tobias, Luke asks me if she was one of the two girls that were at dinner that day he interrupted our meal, the ones that were in the middle of an argument. I nod my head to tell him yes.
And then I blurt out – how I heard Nita in the bathroom with her coworker. And that it just killed me that the very night we sorted things out for my situation with Bureau leadership, that Tobias was with her…in that way. I even tell him he is the first person I have admitted that too. That it hurts me so much, even today. I admit to Luke that Tobias and I were 'together' before the attack, that neither of us had ever been intimate with another person. I straighten my back when I spit that out, my own voice sounding weird to my ears.
Luke frowns but says nothing, allowing me to finish.
And when I am done, Luke smiles at me and says, "Well – for someone that is so damn smart, and basically what I would call a technical genius – Tobias Johnson is idiot! He is a fool to push you away, Tris. Memory or not, anyone that could turn their back on what you were offering him – is a jerk!"
I do smile at him, and Luke leans over and whispers in my ear, "It is too bad you are abnegation – I would certainly kiss you, in comfort, right now. You wouldn't even remember his name when I was done with you."
I giggle and pull back and smile at him, "It is a good thing you are holding back. Kisses from you would certainly be too much for me to handle."
+o+++o+ Flashback End +o+++o+
I have been invited to Laura Grey's leadership meeting. She would like high level presentation on the top research projects and my project manager has asked me to be part of the small group that will attend, in case any specific questions need to be addressed by me or one of the leads. Matthew was nice enough to walk with me, and he jokingly asks if he should wear a bulletproof vest while being so close to me in public. We both laugh.
Upon arriving to the meeting we are ushered to the back of the large conference room to the chairs that line the back and side walls. The seats at the large central table have name tents assigning seats for the different leadership roles. I note that there is a seat reserved for Luke, and for his assistant Catalina to sit right beside him. Catalina is now sitting at her seat with her laptop ready and a pen and paper. I am sorry I didn't get the chance to say hi to her before I was seated.
When the meeting is moments away from beginning I notice that Catalina keeps looking at the entrance, while fidgeting. With not a moment to lose I smile when I see Luke sprint in, large smile on his face as he makes a beeline for his seat. Following behind him are two men, both armed – they immediately sit in chairs that line against the side wall, close to where Luke and Catalina are seated.
"Nice of you to join us Mr. Clark." Ms. Grey says dryly. "Cutting it close…as usual."
"I had to wrap some things up. I needed to make sure I could give your weekly three hour meeting my full attention, Laura," Luke says sweetly. Earning a chuckle from a few people also seated at the head table, including Dr. Grey himself.
As the meeting begins and the agenda is put up on the screen I notice our research projects are up first as planned. This will allow the team members to return to the lab once our sections are done. It is interesting to see the different projects, including the Rehabilitation Project that is still going strong. I feel someone tap my shoulder and I turn to see that Nurse Gabriela has gotten Matthew to change seats with her, she is now sitting to my left. I quickly give her a hug hello. I almost didn't recognize her without her scrubs on.
We listen quietly to the Rehabilitation Project – they cover all kinds of statistics regarding those impacted. How the serum-impacted are doing: physically, mentally and adjusting back into society. Every topic is covered in great detail. I do note that Nurse Gabriela is taking some notes. I force myself to look forward, and push any thoughts of Tobias out of my mind. His rehabilitation efforts are literally Nita's problem now.
When it is announced that the medical research projects will be moved up the agenda to allow contributors to return to the lab I see that Luke perks up and begins looking around the room. I shift my eyes to my notebook, I don't want him to catch me watching him. Which is pretty much what I have done this entire meeting.
Suddenly Gabriela leans in and whispers, "A certain young, yet very handsome man has enlisted me to get your attention Tris." I instantly snap my head to look at her. And when she nods her head in the direction of the main table I know she means Luke before I even see him.
When our eyes meet we both smile and wave. I notice that Catalina has now spotted me and she waves as well.
As another project presents Luke and Catalina turn their attention back to the person speaking. I sit back in my seat and go over my own project details as I will need to be ready in case any specific questions come up that I will need to answer.
"Well Tris, as we talked about many weeks ago…things do get better. Luke Clark is a very sweet young man, and very handsome." Gabriela whispers to me. I feel my cheeks flush.
I discreetly lean towards her and whisper, "Yes, he is. All those things and more – BUT we are honestly just friends. For many different reasons. Some mine and some are his. It is for the best."
Gabriela just shrugs, but I do notice she then smiles at me while gently shaking her head.
+o+++o+++o+
After the presentations are complete, it is announced that there will be a five minute break to allow those that are no longer needed for the remainder of the meeting to clear out. I only had to answer one question during my team's review and I was thankfully prepared. I note that after I sit back down that Ms. Grey turns to one of her entourage members and whispers something while looking right at me.
After we are thanked and released to return to work, Ms. Grey announces that she would like me to remain for the rest of the meeting. My supervisor smiles and nods at me, and suddenly my team files out. Matthew gives me a warm smile as he passes.
It is then that Luke stands up and offers me his chair at the table, all eyes are on him. But Ms. Grey interjects that Luke will be needed to be front and center as many upcoming agenda items will involve security and intelligence. And that is when both Luke and I notice that Catalina has packed up her things and has moved to sit in a far side table where there was an empty chair and a small desk.
Luke smiles at her thankfully and I see her smile back as she pats him on his arm. Luke then holds the chair out for me, as I approach him and smile.
"Hey." I whisper to him.
"Hey." He replies softly after I have taken a seat and he slowly pushes my chair in.
As the meeting continues I focus on the topics, part of me wondering why I was asked to remain. My answer comes soon enough.
Laura brings up the Chicago experiment. I immediately perk up, and she smiles at me. Luke nudges my leg with his under the table.
Luke is up first as Laura Grey asks for an update on security measures. Luke asks that his slide deck is pulled up and goes into numerous projects his team is working on. Most ongoing but showing great progress. It is discussed that although the Dauntless faction does not exist, Luke is working with the security that is now in place – they are using the term Police.
Then Luke touches on the issue of the Genetically Pure and the peace that Chicago is trying to keep in place. As the Rebels have not attacked recently, things are calming down. Chicago seems more and more open to the end of factions and the understanding that diversity in one person can be a good thing.
"Now Beatrice, this is why I have asked you to stay for the rest of this meeting. As you were born and raised in the Chicago Experiment, you are very well known and loved back at your original home. Especially as you have such strong ties to both Abnegation and Dauntless. Although the factions are now gone, as Chicago moves forward it will be crucial for them to see an example of someone they know and respect – to show them that the diversity that involves a Genetically Pure is a positive thing. We would like you to represent the Genetically Pure, as a success story that came from the Chicago Experiment." Laura pauses for effect, "Ms. Johanna Reyes speaks very highly of you and she was thrilled at the prospect of working with you. That said – I would like you to travel to Chicago next week for a one time ambassador mission. It will involve working with Johanna for updates on how Chicago is doing, what changes are occurring and also for you to be seen as a positive influence."
Laura looks at me and asks, "Can I count on you?"
I think about Chicago, a picture of my parents in our old home pop into my mind. I would even love to see Johanna. This is something I want to do. I want to see what Chicago is becoming. "Yes, of course," I state.
I suddenly feel the tension Luke is projecting as he clears his throat and shuffles his feet while sitting.
"Laura, I think this is a terrible idea. As head of Bureau Security and Investigative Services I need to interject that I think this is a huge risk, that the benefit does not outweigh the potential cost. We just pulled the security details off of Tris, and now we want to send her to Chicago to become…what…a walking target? She was one of three people identified by the Rebel group as being an 'issue that they need to fix' and our plan of action is to send her to the Chicago project where we do not have adequate security in place…this is-" Luke is cut off mid-sentence.
"Mr. Clark! Did you and your team not just present to this forum how well things are going in Chicago? That you have a handle on the situation? Please explain yourself. I would hope you would not let any personal feelings cloud your professional performance." Ms. Grey finishes. Her point has been made, you could hear a pin drop in that room.
Luke does not back down, nor seem remotely phased by her implication. "Ms. Grey, I would have the same exact reservations if you wanted to send your husband, or yourself on a publicity tour of Chicago right now. The Rebel group is still out there, yes we are working around the clock to stay a step ahead of them, but they still exist. There were just three names on that list – I do not support sending any of those three people to our LEAST secure location at this point in time. This has nothing to do with my personal feelings, this is me using common sense." Luke calmly and coldly states.
"Thank you for expressing your concerns Luke, I will trust that you and your department will do your job, and ensure that Ms. Prior's trip to Chicago goes smoothly. You will have one week to prepare Chicago for her visit. My office will get you her agenda by close of business today," Laura states, and by her tone you can tell it is final.
Luke stiffens beside me and just nods his head in defeat. I then feel it is my turn to calm him down – I gently and discreetly nudge his leg with mine this time. He doesn't look at me, as that would be too obvious. But I do see the huge smile that settles on his face, and I can hear him slowly release the breath he had been holding.
I know I will be ok. I am not worried.
+o++o+
At the very end of the meeting Laura brings up the annual Bureau awards ceremony that is just two nights away. It is a black tie event that is taken very seriously; it is a huge honor to win an award. And really, an honor just to be extended an invitation.
The Award Ceremony coordinator goes into his presentation on what the schedule will be, how this year they will be focusing on individual and small group efforts in regards to dealing with the memory serum release. It is mentioned that once the winners are identified, it will me more impactful if the presenter of the final award is someone that is directly related to the recipient or project. The evening will also have dinner and some dancing.
Suddenly Laura Grey calls out my name and four other people in the room. She has decided that we must attend this event. It will be important for our faces to be seen, especially mine since my Chicago trip will occurs just days after the event.
Laura informs us that a personal stylist will be contacting us to prepare us and tells us to make sure we clear our schedules when offered a time to meet with them. I cringe, a gown? A fancy party? Ugh. Now I am having doubts about going to Chicago.
"Well one positive, I get to see how well you can clean up Tris. I can't wait until this stuffy party now," Luke teasingly whispers to me.
"I suggest you keep your personal feelings in check Mr. Clark. We would not want you to get scolded again this meeting," I shoot back.
Luke laughs, and so do I.
Maybe this party will not be such a bad thing after all.
+o++o+ Chapter End +o++o+