"Of Sparks and Cons"
Chapter Thirty-Eight
"You're not doing your share!" Windsplitter snapped and Quicksilver found herself counting to ten, again. It had been three cycles since their little fight in the training center. The fight had carried over, much to the amusement of Knockout, into the medical bay and finally into the residence when Dunestar had been attempting to convince them of the errors of their ways.
And now, they were in the washracks, cleaning it from top to bottom, together. It was a slower process than reorganizing and cleaning the storage areas with Duskwalker. Mainly because, unlike Duskwalker, Windsplitter had no qualms about being messy and missing obvious areas that needed to be cleaned. Nor did she have any issues with spending the entire time whining and complaining at Quicksilver for 'not doing her fair share'.
Over the past few hours, Quicksilver had stopped herself from yelling, scolding, or simply snarling at Windsplitter nearly two hundred times. Each time, she would count for as long as she needed. And each time the number went down. Now she was managing only ten before the anger turned into an ebby instead of a wave.
The door to the washracks opened and Quicksilver ignored it. Over the last three cycles, Dunestar had stepped into wherever they were working to check on them. If they were having a fight, she would separate them with a scolding. And after they were done with that chore, they were given a new one. As a result, Quicksilver didn't bother to notice when someone entered the room where they were working any longer and she fought to remain calm, otherwise she'd find herself washing the exterior of Naomi next time or worse.
At the sound of the bucket of water and cleaning solution tipping over and spilling, followed by Windsplitter's squeal of surprise, Quicksilver lowered her arms and set her rag on her shoulder plating before, very carefully and methodically running her hands up and down her faceplate. This was the fifth time Windsplitter had managed to 'accidentally' spill the bucket's contents. Each time that Quicksilver turned to right the bucket and refill it, Windsplitter's faceplate was anything but surprised or regretful. In fact, it was generally downright gleeful and slightly maniacal. There were times when she wanted to ask if it had been Windsplitter or the mysterious other in control at that point, but had always thought better of it.
Lowering her hands slowly before flicking the tips of her fingers to release the water droplets still left there, Quicksilver turned and knelt down, reaching out for the bucket. Her optics traveled a short distance and she stopped what she was doing, her attention snapping upward. It had not been Dunestar who had come to check on them this time. And she was suddenly extremely glad she had not allowed Windsplitter's comments and antics to get the better of her. She hated to know what Renegade would have come up with if she had snapped.
"Never mind the bucket, Silver, Cascade can refill it for her. Come with me, please," Renegade motioned toward her with his right index finger and she resisted the urges to plead or runaway and hide. Instead, she got to her pedes, a little unsteadily and set her rag down on the bucket's edge.
Windsplitter was looking at her gleefully, fully believing she was about to get into worse trouble. Something in the way Renegade had told her not to touch the bucket told Quicksilver it was quite the opposite. Though she was not a good one to judge character or intention.
When she finally reached his side, Renegade stepped aside and indicated she should precede him out of the washracks. At first she didn't move, staring at the condensation coated door before tightening her hands tighter into one another and dragging some of the warm, moist air into her vents.
"Did I do something wrong?" Quicksilver asked softly and Renegade looked at her quizzically before giving her a small, gentle smile.
"No, you did everything right," Renegade stated, "I only want to talk to you before you go and enjoy some free time."
About what, Quicksilver wanted to ask, but she simply looked away instead and walked through the door silently, why can't I ever ask what I want to?
"She's calmed down a lot," Dunestar's voice drew Quicksilver's attention and she watched as Cascade glanced over at her. Their backs were to the washracks, but she knew they had to have heard the doors open, as well as Renegade's heavy steps.
"Calmed down? It has taken three cycles for you to make her understand that she can't snap each time Windy says something to her," Cascade responded and Quicksilver tensed up. It was not hard for her to know which 'she' he was talking about.
"Cascade, put aside your personal feelings for a moment and consider this," Dunestar was speaking softer now, but it seemed to be more for the calming benefit of Cascade, "For the first time in her life, she is allowed to display her emotions openly. How would you respond to such a situation if you were her age? I seem to remember having some pretty big outbursts as a youngling, but my creators would never consider striking me for it. Haven't you noticed the look in her optics when she responds strongly to anything? She looks as though she's ready for you to strike her at any second."
A light and gentle touch reminded Quicksilver she had stopped not far in front of the washracks' door. With a slight jump, she moved forward and stepped aside so that Renegade could get out as well. As the doors slid shut, Dunestar looked over at them and smiled.
"I see she passed your examination as well," Dunestar stated and Quicksilver looked between the two of them.
"Yes," Renegade answered simply before looking directly at Cascade, "Windy needs her bucket refilled. It seems to have become a bit of a game for her to dump it and throw a small fit in response."
Cascade rubbed the spot on his faceplate between his optics and shook his helm before getting to his pedes, "I'll take care of it… Silver. I… owe you an apology. Windsplitter is a handful at times and, given the circumstances, you've responded well to her attitude."
This apology nearly gave Quicksilver whiplash as she looked from adult to adult, finally ending on Cascade once more. His optics were still hard when he looked at her and his lipplates were drawn downward in a frown, but he did not seem as angry as he had been previously when Dunestar had told him what had happened in the training center.
"I… I'm sorry too," Quicksilver apologized and Cascade merely nodded before getting up and walking around the couch. He passed them going into the washracks, exchanging a glance with Renegade that Quicksilver could not clearly see due to being too short. As soon as the doors into the washracks closed, Renegade indicated that she should join Dunestar in the sitting area.
Moving to obey, Quicksilver began to feel nervous. She clasped her hands before herself as she took a seat opposite of Dunestar, her line of sight directed at the washracks' door. Renegade joined them, sitting down beside Dunestar and leaning back. They sat like that for a few minutes and the nerves Quicksilver was feeling were starting to implode within her processor. Doubts, fears, worries, and anxiety began to fight for control and she had to drag in a large amount of air through her vents, close her optics, and slowly release it to settle down enough to refocus on the here and now.
"Youngling, over the past few cycles, we've seen far more of your anger than either of us expected to see so soon," Renegade stated and Quicksilver looked over at him, feeling ashamed. Of all the emotions for them to see first thing, her anger had not been the one she would have chosen.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of Quicksilver," Dunestar set a servo to Quicksilver's knee plating and she watched her for a moment.
Quicksilver looked down at the servo, stark in its contrast to her silver and blue, wishing she was brave enough to unclasp her hands and wrap them around the slender digits. But she wasn't, not yet. Not when she knew how dangerous that type of a show of affection could be. Or rather, how unwanted it could be.
"Quicksilver," Renegade said her designation gently and waited until she looked up at him shyly. There was nothing in his gaze beyond concern and she relaxed, slightly.
Once she was focused on him, Renegade continued, "The sensations of anger and frustration are normal. You were not punished for feeling anger; rather, you were punished for how you reacted to your anger."
To Quicksilver's disappointment, Dunestar pulled her servo back as Renegade stopped speaking for a moment; the sand-colored femme smiled at her encouragingly, but remained silent.
"Windsplitter is a sparkling and she's going to say things that are hurtful to the others, and even I find myself asking Primus for patience when Duskwalker is trying to hide her pain from me just so Windsplitter won't get into trouble for the hurtful things she's said to Dusk," Renegade continued once more and Quicksilver looked at him in surprise.
Over the time she had known Renegade, he had never seemed to lose his patience, with anyone. Even when he had been defending her from Vanquisher, he had seemed calm, poised, and patient. The thought that he needed to ask for patience was surprising and she found herself wondering how he stayed so patient, even when he was angry.
"The reason I had you working with Windsplitter was to help you learn to be patient with her, " Dunestar stated, hiding her mouth with a servo as she started to smile at a thought and her optics seemed to twinkle slightly, "You do realize that, when you argue with Windsplitter, it is the same as an adolescent Chartah arguing with a cub, don't you? Arguments like those never go well. Often they frustrate the older Chartah and may result in their saying something that could hurt the cub's feelings. Do you see what I mean?"
Through the course of her words, Dunestar had managed to regain her composure and had leaned forward slightly, watching Quicksilver closely.
After a few moments of consideration, Quicksilver looked back up at Dunestar and spoke softly, "Then, you weren't just punishing me, you were seeing how patient I could be."
"Yes," Renegade responded, eliciting a relieved sigh from Quicksilver, "and now that I see you can be patient with Windsplitter I'm going to show you a few different methods that I've taught Duskwalker who, though you may not believe it, can be quite impatient at times herself."
Shock overcame the natural tendency to be soft spoken and wary of pushing either of the two adults sitting across from her and Quicksilver blurted, "Dusky never gets angry!"
Dunestar was unsuccessful at maintaining her composure this time and actually released a small giggle before clearing her vocodor and covering her mouth plates with a servo to hide her smile. Renegade, however, leaned back with a soft hmm while crossing his arms over his chest plating. This drew Quicksilver's attention to him and she tried not to shrink back into the couch, but was not completely successful.
"I'm afraid you're wrong, Quicksilver. Duskwalker does get angry, but, as she does with any hurt she feels, Dusk often internalizes it. Which is something I would prefer you didn't do as it can be harmful; if you're angry you need to express that anger so you can drain the resulting energy from your system. If you allow that energy to accumulate it can be rather destructive to your systems," Renegade explained and Quicksilver considered that for a moment.
"Dusk isn't going to get hurt, is she?" Quicksilver asked, genuinely concerned. She had never though that keeping your emotions internally could damage someone before.
"If she releases her anger, no," Renegade stated, "But if she does not accept her anger and learn to release it in a healthy manner, it can be very damaging to her systems."
"…How do you do that?" Quicksilver felt silly for having to ask, but she wanted to help Duskwalker as much as she wanted to learn for herself.
"Talk to someone," Dunestar supplied and Quicksilver had to fight the urge to fidget, "or write it out. Do something that allows you to release your anger without hurting someone else."
"If you are angry with one of the sparklings or one of us, do what you were doing in the washracks," Renegade looked at her knowingly, "You were counting, were you not? Giving yourself time to calm down before you chose whether or not to respond, correct?"
Quicksilver nodded, it was something Soundbyte had taught a long time ago. With the thought of Soundbyte came a small wave of longing mixed with anger, but she pushed it aside. Now was not the time to be focused on the past and what Soundbyte's presence aboard the warship may mean for her.
"When you do that, you're responding to your anger in a positive way," Renegade continued and Quicksilver waited for the 'but' that was sure to follow.
"And we're proud of you for doing it," Renegade finished and Quicksilver looked at him in open surprise. The expression drew a smile from Renegade and he reached out toward her, holding his servo a short distance from her.
Looking at his servo, she reached out a shaking servo of her own and set it in his much larger one gently. The smile grew slightly and he stroked the back of her servo gently with his thumb before releasing it and allowing her to pull back. The sensation of his touch remained on her servo and she looked at it as though it did not belong to her.
"You're punishment is done," Dunestar announced and Quicksilver gave her a small, hopeful smile. Knowing her well enough, she doubted it was a rouse, but still a small amount of fear that she would tell her that it was a joke remained. However, Dunestar said no more, though she looked at her curiously when she did not leave.
As the fear started to ebb, crash that was followed by a line of cursing that made Quicksilver wince, reached them from the washracks. The doors whooshed open and the sound of small footsteps echoed through the common area, headed for the opposite end where the door into the corridor was located. Standing up, Quicksilver watched as Windsplitter ran around the end of the couches and made her way toward the door. Behind her, dripping dirty water and with a rag tangled onto the sharp edge of his knee guard was Cascade. To Windsplitter's disappointment, the door refused to open for her and she ran back toward the seating area. Renegade reached over the back of the couch he was seated on and easily caught her, curling her close to his armored chest plate.
"Cascade, what happened?" Renegade asked and Quicksilver suddenly felt as though she was where she should not be.
Minute squeaks and growls were emanating from Renegade's arms as Cascade rounded the couch, releasing a harsh ventful of air. He leaned down so his hands were planted firmly above his knees and grunted. For a moment, Quicksilver feared he would fall over from the exertion of merely venting air.
"My darling sparkling in your arms," Cascade started, glancing over at his knee plating and grunting as he pulled the wet rag free, "Took the full bucket of water and threw it at me. She then darted around the washracks, slipping and sliding, until I tried to catch her. That's when she came out here, running for the exit."
Quicksilver fidgeted and caught Dunestar's attention. With a soft shooing gesture, Dunestar dismissed her silently. Smiling faintly Quicksilver made her retreat, making her way out of the same door that refused to open for Windsplitter. It opened instantly for her and this caused Windsplitter to howl with anger. The noise was deafening and it was a relief when the door slid shut behind her.