The drive to the airport is far too short, even with Sid taking the scenic route. He grips my hand tightly, only releasing it when absolutely necessary, and always finds it quickly again. My original plan was to take the car service, but Sid insisted on driving me this morning and I'm eager to spend as much time together before our impossible schedules keep us apart. I glance over at him to see his mouth set in a firm line, his eyes focused on the road and his brows furrowed. Very serious Sid today.
"What time is your flight?" I ask brightly, hoping to lighten the mood. I know exactly why he's so severe, and as much as I've tried to assure him that he has nothing to worry about, it seems he can't shake this feeling. We're only a few minutes from the airport and I am desperate not to leave with this little black cloud between us.
"Three," he replies curtly. "Call me when you land, okay?"
"You'll be in the air when I land," I say quietly. I'm not really sure how to navigate this mood of his. The possessive grip of my hand reveals the insecurity bubbling beneath his surface, but he's so clipped with me, almost as if he's angry. My initial response is to be apologetic, but I'm not really sure what I have to be sorry about.
"Then leave me a message," he snaps. I try to pull my hand away from his, wounded by his barking tone, but he tightens his grip and squeezes twice. "I'm sorry," he says softly. He doesn't need to explain, and we don't need to rehash yesterday's conversation. The only thing I can do is return safely into his arms and prove I'm not running back to Benny.
"So no game tonight?" I ask meekly.
"No, it's tomorrow night," he says gently.
"Maybe we can Facetime?" I suggest, and his mouth twitches into a small smile. Finally! "Compare hotel rooms?"
"I'd love to," he lifts my hand and softly kisses my wrist, dragging his lips across my knuckles. "Can I ask you a weird question?"
"Of course," I laugh.
"You tucked your pajamas under your pillow this morning," he states, and I'm not sure where the question is. I shrug and he continues. "I know you well enough to know you refuse to sleep naked..."
"What if there's a fire?" I interject.
"Then you have bigger problems," he laughs, but there's an anxious edge to his voice.
"I can't do it," I finish.
"Yeah I've noticed! Anyway, you don't have pajamas," he sighs.
"Sid, have you been going through a mental packing list for me?" I giggle.
"Force of habit I guess," he smiles, and I'm so relieved his good mood has returned. "I'm kind of an expert when it comes to packing."
"I imagine you are," I smile back at him. He pulls up to a red light, the airport in sight and a wave of disappointment hits me. I'm not going to see him for almost a week! "Here already?" I whine. Sid ignores the passenger loading/unloading lane and moves toward short term parking instead. "Babe, you don't have to come in with me."
"Of course I do," he scoffs.
"You'll be mobbed," I practically shriek. "You're cutting it close as it is."
"Katie, it's not even ten, you can't board for at least half an hour, my flight isn't until three. It's fine." He finds a parking spot quickly and hops out of his truck to grab my luggage. We haven't even made it through the parking lot when people start taking notice of him. Sid's always been careful about not exposing me to the media or fan encounters, and now we're walking hand in hand through the airport? It doesn't make sense. I'm not a terribly shy person, but I feel like we should probably have discussed this before jumping in with both feet. A group of three teenage girls watch him gleefully, all of them pointing their iPhones in our direction, and I realize this is exactly why he wanted to come inside. He's claiming me!
"Sid, you should go before this gets out of hand," I say between clenched teeth.
"Just ignore them," he says gruffly. Well that's easy for him to say, I'm not used to having strangers take my photo, and it will no doubt be posted on some site where every female fan will take her turn ripping apart my appearance. My heart sinks at the thought. He's been so up and down the past day, and I really don't want to leave on bad terms, but this has got to be the height of selfishness.
"Sidney," I whisper sharply. He turns to face me, slightly surprised by my tone. "I know why you're doing this, and it's completely unnecessary," I smile for the cameras, but my words are clear. "You're doing this on purpose."
"What?" he feigns innocence, which is so infuriating. I stop walking and he takes only one step before realizing that I'm no longer at his side. He turns to me and I gently wrap my arms around his neck. If he wants a show, I'll give him one. He smiles shyly, obviously not accustomed to public displays of affection.
"Don't play dumb with me Crosby," I whisper against his ear. "You're making damn sure there will be photos of us plastered all over the Internet before my plane even takes off." He doesn't object, but tightens his grip around me. "I'm really trying to be patient babe, I know you're having some kind of crisis of confidence here, but I'm with you. A trip home isn't going to change that, and we really should have talked about this before you threw me to the wolves," I finish and glance around to see several people taking our photo, or worse video!, with their phones.
"I don't know what's gotten into me lately," he sighs.
"I do," I blurt out, and instantly regret it. The tips of his ears redden and a sheepish smile spreads across his face. There's no way we're doing this here! And with that decision made, I pull away from him, take his hand in mine and move toward the ticket agent.
"It makes you do crazy things," he sighs, acknowledging my comment, but not really elaborating. I can't help but giggle and he squeezes my hand tightly.
"Yes, it does," I flash him a brilliant smile that he returns immediately. I collect my boarding pass from the ticket agent and check my luggage. There's precious few minutes before I should head through security, and things are warming between us. Sid gives me an apologetic smile, and I shake my head and grin. "You're forgiven," I whisper. He grins and pulls me tight to his side.
"I fucked up," he admits quietly. I can't help but laugh, and then I'm suddenly aware that the audience has never left, only changed. It doesn't matter where we go, people are watching him. It doesn't matter what we're doing, people are taking our picture. His picture. I briefly wonder if it will always be like this? Watched so carefully wherever we go, strangers taking photos, women giving me the once over, practically drooling over Sidney. "You're right, we should have talked about this before. I should have made sure you were okay with it, and ready for the attention."
"Attention?" I giggle. "I think that's an understatement."
Sid tugs me tight to his side and kisses my forehead. "Just bear with me, okay?" he laughs, and I'm suddenly reminded of my private conversations with his parents. Maybe Sid is always a bit insecure? Or maybe I'm naive about what's about to come next. When people know me as Sidney Crosby's Girlfriend. A question that I've been meaning to ask floats through my mind.
"Hey," I look up to face him. "Do your parents know I'm divorced?" Sid's brow furrows and he shakes his head.
"No, they don't," he says evenly. I sigh audibly and he squeezes my shoulder. "I'm not sure it will matter though, you've won them over," he laughs.
"Yeah?" I'm suddenly thrilled and give myself a mental hug. "Did they say anything about me?"
"They did," he smiles coyly. I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. I pinch his hip and he jumps a little bit. "Ayeee," he squeaks, then giggles.
"What did they say?" I press playfully.
"Well, my mom loves that you have your own life. She was really impressed," he beams and I blush from the compliment. "My dad is a little tougher," he starts and I frown. Maybe I did say something stupid at the game. Sid watches me closely, and I try to read his expression, but he gives nothing away. If his dad had reservations, do I really want to hear them before hopping on a plane where all I can do is stir? "That said, he thinks we're a good match and warned me not to screw this up."
His confession makes me laugh, and when I look up at Sid he is thoroughly entertained by me. "Glad you find me so amusing!" he teases.
"I do," I giggle. We stand in front of the security gate, our separation imminent. "Well hun, I guess I should get going," I sigh. He pulls me into a tight hug and buries his nose in my hair. The glare of strangers fades away, and in the warmth of his arms, the world feels small, just big enough for the two of us.
"I'm going to miss you, Kate," he speaks so softly, so gently, it's incredibly romantic.
"I'm going to miss you, Sid."
"Be safe," he pauses, holding me at arms length and looking so serious. "I really like you, babe." A sweet smile spreads across his face, and he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. His lips hold mine firmly and I press my tongue inside his mouth. He groans lightly and I pull his hips flush against mine. This one move proves too much for Sid, and he smiles while pulling away from me. "A touch too indecent for public," he explains.
"I really like you too, babe," I smile up at him. I guess that's as close as we're going to get for now. "I'll text you when I land in Toronto," I promise.
"How long is your layover?" he brushes hair away from my face.
"Not long, less than an hour."
"I want a present too," he pouts playfully. I giggle and nod in agreement. Sid hands me my carry-on bag, and kisses my forehead. "I mean it, be safe and call me."
"I will babe, I promise." I lean in and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing his neck and breathing in his scent.
"And don't forget to pick up pajamas," he teases, releasing me.
I laugh and start toward the security gate, turning at the last second to flash him a naughty grin. "What do you think your shorts are for?" and Crosby doesn't disappoint. His eyes widen, his face splits into a shocked smile and the tips of his beautiful ears redden ever so slightly.
My beautiful, blushing, insecure, over-protective Sid. I don't even want to think about how difficult the next six days without him are going to be.