Dragonair POV. Warning: This chapter is VERY weird.

"So let's take a quick look at this situation. I am currently a traitor to Team Rocket after about four years of loyal service. I betrayed them because I discovered that besides being notorious criminals, they also abuse and experiment on Pokemon. While I'm taking a Pichu kit back to his parents, who were captured by the Rockets, it ultimately leads to a battle where I get captured. Now I am currently in the Celebi damned Pokeball, doing a freaking monologue! Does anyone see something wrong with this picture? Excluding the maddening simulated environment? Yes Dragonair, I see something very wrong with this picture. Really? What's wrong with this picture? You're having a conversation with yourself. No, I'm not, you liar. Are you calling me a liar? I'm sorry, were you not listening the first time? Are you perhaps deaf? Yes, idiot. I'm calling you a liar! Listen, Dragonair, no one gets away with calling me a liar. Oh really? Then better not let me get away with it, LIAR. I'm going to kill you and it will be slow and painful."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" a voice asked me and I looked up, startled from my argument. Pity, I was winning. However, I didn't see the speaker.

"What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean? Shut up idiot. No, you shut up!"

"Out of interest of my own sanity, I don't think I'm going to reply to that." the unseen speaker said with a sigh.

"Who the hell are you? Yeah, identify yourself! Didn't I tell you to shut up? I told you to shut up!"

"So this is what a conversation with an insane Dragonair is like," the voice said with another sigh. "Very informative, but definitely not worth the headache I'm going to get for this."

"Who are you calling insane, weird voice in my head? I think it meant us. Shut up! No, you shut up!"

"I'm just delivering a message. Come to think of it, I don't remember the message. Let's look at my list of messages. To Mew...no, To Celebi...great, I look forward to delivering that one. To Jirachi...why is she sending a message to herself? To me...I'll read that later. To me, stamped with 'Urgent', better read it. Hmm...It says 'Read the less urgent message now'. Very well. The less urgent message says...'Mew left the aspirin in the refrigerator. You'll need them'. Great..." the voice said.

"What the hell? Yeah, what the hell? Stop that. You stop that. No, I told you first. Yeah, well I told you second!"

"I see what she means," the voice said dully. "To Giratina...oh that'll be so much fun, to Sapphire, to Lugia, ugh, why did I ever take this job? To Cresselia...do you know how hard it is to find her? Ah, to Dragonair. Here's the message: 'Don't lose hope'. Now how the hell did I forget that message? She sends that message to lots of random non-legends. Anyway, have a good day."

At that moment, I felt the tugging feeling of the Pokeball opening and I emerged in a large cage-like cell. The instant I emerged, a weird collar was placed on my neck, and I felt a powerful shock run through my body. "Celebi damned restraining collar! Yeah, what a Mew damned collar! Hey, I praise Celebi, not Mew! So what, I prefer Mew!" I yelled.

"Were you insane before or after getting caught?" a voice asked from elsewhere in the cage. I stared in the direction of the unseen speaker.

"Who's there? Yeah, who's there? Oh, shut up! You shut up! Make me! You make me!" I yelled.

"Tell you what, go to sleep and I'll pray you're sane tomorrow." the speaker said. I floated over to the speaker and discovered it was a weird blue creature with a spiral on its chest.

"A Poliwhirl? No, I think it's a Poliwrath. No, it's too small to be a Poliwrath. So you're the expert on the Poli line? Considering my knowledge of Pokemon, yes. Well, I still think it's a Poliwrath. Well, then you're wrong. Shut up, crazy snake," I said.

"Holy Mother of Mew, what drugs did they give you?" the PoliWHIRL said. (Shut up, crazy snake, it's a Poliwrath.)

"They didn't give me drugs. Well, you think it's a Poliwhirl, so they must have loaded you with hundreds of crazy drugs. What the hell are you talking about; you're the crazy one who thinks he's a Poliwrath!"

"My name's Poli," the Poliwhirl said (Poliwrath! It's a freaking PoliWRATH)

"Poli, don't tell him what specie you are, it's good to have some entertainment," said another voice from nearby, showing itself to be a dirt-covered Oddish, but a female. "I'm Strange," she said politely.

"That's very interesting that you're so open to admitting that. I think she meant it's her name. Human given name? Probably. Listen buddy, I was talking to her! Well, you probably think she's a Gloom! Well you think the Poliwhirl's a Poliwrath!" I replied. Strange giggled and Poli the Poliwhirl (Wrath, Mew damn it!) sighed.

"Uh...no, actually my parents thought it was cute. They named my brother Unusual, and my older sister Normal," Strange said.

"You had some messed up parents. Really messed up. Hey, I told you to stop that! I don't care what you tell me to do. How about I Hyper Beam your face?" I replied.

"Interesting. I didn't know drugs had that side effects, but I guess that's why they have those labs," Poli said wearily.

"Damn Rockets. Why did we ever serve them? Shut up! Make me! We're back to the threat of Hyper Beaming your face."

"Strange, help me out here." Poli said and the Oddish (wow, you knew it's not a Gloom) hopped over to me and sprayed blue powder in my face. I sneezed, blowing some of the powder into the Poliwhirl's (I still say it's a Poliwrath) face.

"Oops, sorry, Poli," Strange said, wincing as Poli collapsed, snoring slightly. I suddenly felt very sleepy and coiled up in one of corners of the cage before drifting off to sleep.

Wow...that was even weirder than I envisioned it. Thank goodness it was short.