After the heated argument we became silent in the group. We acted normal in front of the others, but we were suffering in the inside.
"Ah, Seina, there you are! Come with me to the Inn!" Princess came out of nowhere and dragged me away from the campsite, but damn I was glad she did that.
I was introduced to Lili's servants and I told them that I was Princess' servant.
All the ladies got into the hot bath except me. I was ashamed of my own body because I had scars from the bottom up to my chest. It wasn't beautiful to see. My wings had not even tried to sprout again. It's all the stress that was building up that slowed down the process of regrowing.
"Seina, get out and come over here!" The girls shouted and I ran over to the bath, covering myself with my arms and jumped into the warm temperature water.
The three girls were scarless unlike me and Princess, mainly me who had the most scar that remained from my past and still stayed over the years that I lived. It never healed to be clean and flawless. Where my wings used to be was the worse scarring.
I was quiet as I sank down into the warm water. I wanted to forget about the argument between me and Jaeha. I wished it never happened.
"From Yona to Seina, you both have marks on your bodies." Tetora commented, staring at my exposed skin.
"Oh… that." I tried to play it cool without hinting any emotions of what I was feeling right now. "Well, I learned how to fight when I was young. Trained very hard, you know." I looked away from the water building in my eyes. I didn't understand why memories were arising again. I wanted it to stop. I wish I could kill these unwanted memories. "If there was no one to protect you, then you had to learn how to protect yourself." I simply said, closing my eyes as I tried to relax.
"You're right." Ayura agreed.
Soon after bathing, we changed into new set of clothes and walked to the room we were staying. I really wondered who was Lili. She did not seem normal as in a commoner. She seemed like a noble because her personality is… something alright.
I was training Princess as she was practicing her sword fighting skills. Little Lili would made irrelevant comments that she couldn't do either… Oh that girl.
"Princess, more power to the arms but don't add your weight to it or else you'll fall short and slow." Hak wasn't here to teach her so I did. Princess had some flaws in her stance but she'll improve.
I pulled out a sword to practice with her. "Fight me." I declared and she refused to do it. "I'm not going to die, Princess. I'm much skilled that you are even if I'm pregnant or not." I flung the sword around. I kept saying words to rattle her up.
"Fine!" She finally complied.
SHINNNNG. CLINKKKK. SWOOOOSH.
Princess was skilled but not at the same time. She has put some of her strength into her weapon but not all. She did not see the weapon as her soul. She lacked techniques. I thought Hak would've teached her more techniques than I anticipated.
I had moved faster than her in a split that she fell in defeat. The fast movements made me tired and I sat down on the ground to rest. "Sorry…" I apologized. "I was a bit rough with you." I was aggressively hitting her sword because I envision Jaeha and the General from my past as Princess while I was sword fighting. Though I didn't give an explanation why I was rough, she accepted my apology.
Soon Tetora and Ayura were teasing Lili about making friends, she gladly denied it as she gotten red from speaking about the topic of friendships.
I giggled at her denial.
I was walking with Princess and Lili as they were getting things for the girl talk. Princess was getting the remainder of the guys who stayed to protect Princess, and Lili wanted more sweets for the girl talk. I stayed behind them as we got to a certain hall…
"Tetora!" The two girls screamed, and I instantly jumped in front of them.
For some reason I felt shaky. It was like I was afraid of getting hurt, or I haven't gone on a battlefield in years. But I somehow tried to tame the nervousness that flowed through my blood.
"Lady… Lili… Run… This isn't allowed. This area is off limits." This dude with a scar on his damn forehead walked out of a room. Who was the man?
"Tetora!" Lili yelled, trying to get to her servant but Princess held her back.
"Yona… Seina… Take Lady Lili and run… This person is… The nadai…" Tetora weakly spoke like she was near her death.
"He's the one who brought nadai into the Water Tribe. The drug smuggler." Princess mumbled loudly, staring at him.
"Take her away! I'll deal with this!" I told Princess. I couldn't afford to lose Princess and Lili right now in this bloody situation.
"No, I'm going to let you! You can't get hurt because—"
"I can always produce more. Your and Lili's protection is key right now." I raised my voice at Princess. I didn't need her to die here because of that drug dealer dude. Hak would get angry when he finds out Princess died because I couldn't protect her, and I wouldn't forgive myself. No one would forgive me. I'd live in misery because I couldn't protect what was given to me.
"I'm staying!" I had no time to protest that I let her stay.
"Then show them what you're made of." I passionately grinned, hoping that she'll do well with her swordsmanship.
"Hurry up and take care of those three." The drug dealer said.
There was a blood rush in me that I finally got a taste of the battlefield again. I had no sword but I had my nails. I flicked out my sharp nails and ran to the guy's guards.
While I was fighting the bald dude, I was trying to claw out his guts. Just having a big bump was a bit hard to maneuver around with, like you know it's there but you can't do anything about it. We were fighting a hand to hand combat. I was letting out grunts and groans as I tried to knock this guy out, but the more faster I moved the tired I got. I felt the burn in my muscles and the tiring sensation coming in.
"What's wrong, lady? You can't fight no more?" At the moment I stopped, I was punched to the ground.
I spat out blood and quickly got up, wobbling back onto my feet. "Oh, I'm still am!" I yelled.
SLASHHHHH!
I heard my heart dropped as a body dropped. My bird instinct knew it was Princess. "Damn bastards!" I roared in fuming rage, hastily kicking the bald guy back and jumped onto the man who dared to mark Princess with a sword.
I literally jumped onto the man's back and brutally stabbed him with my own nails. My eyes were bloodlust as I only thought of killing. I pierced his check, neck, face, and eyes until his body fell down.
"Ngnnnn…" I lowly winced in pain. I felt my stomach hurting but I didn't want to stop because of my stomach. I can't let that stop me from protecting the two girls. I pushed myself up from the ground and grabbed the dead guy's sword in my hand. "Ahahaha! You're next!" I pointed the blade at him, and brushed past him with a slice to the stomach. Pitter platter. His intestines dropped to the bamboo flooring.
"What's next, huh? Your men aren't that strong enough to fight me?" I asked insanely. There was blood all over me and the hallways. My heart was racing in excitement. I've never been able to kill like this. My whole body trembled and I couldn't help but keep killing. My stomach hurt but I didn't care to feel the pain. It'll soon die down.
"Go." The dealer told his man next to him.
He held a sword at me and when I was about to strike him, I was impaled from the back as I was impaled in the front. My stomach. It was my stomach.
"SEINAAAAAAAA!" Princess screamed in fear for the baby and me.
Opening my mouth, blood spilled out to the ground that was already stained by blood. I coughed out a sad face, showing her that I'm sorry. I lifted my leg to back kick the dealer as his sword pulled out from me and twisted around with the front sword out of me and I rammed into the dealer's man who instantly died.
I dragged my aching body to the dealer until Princess ran in front of me to stop him. "I got this."
"Hehehe… you think I'd let you kill this man?" I smirked, throwing an arm around Princess' shoulders.
SLASH.
Princess had the guts to make another mark on his forehead. I could help laugh at this. "X marks the spot they say."
The dealer was about to lift up his sword, but I quickly kicked it out of his hand even through the pain in my stomach. "Nu-huh." I wiggled my forefinger at him. "You don't lift a sword at her." I kicked him down and stepped on his legs, digging my feet into his skin.
"Arghhhhh!" He screamed in pain. I'd loved to see him cry more.
"Tch." I crouched to his level and grabbed his sinful face in my bloody hand. "You should scream more. I love to hear my victims cry in agony." I used my other hand to slowly open his tight stitched skin. But I was interrupted by them…
"Yona! Seina! Lili!" Finally the other three arrived… took them long enough. I didn't know what took them this long because I'm pretty sure that they heard screaming outside the halls, did they not?
Their entrance fouled my mood that I pulled back from the dealer dude and he escaped, saying how he won't forget our faces and we'll regret hurting him.
My legs… they were shaking as I stood up straight. Trying to take baby steps, my legs were falling forward.
Yoon opened his mouth, "Seina, don't tell me—"
Princess caught me before I fell on the ground. "Yoon, Tetora and Seina are bleeding! Seina— she got stabbed in the stomach!"
My vision blurred from the incoming pain that came out of nowhere. The opened wounds was pulsing. My mind was recovering from my insanity that just happened. "Baby…" I gasped, swallowing the blood in my mouth. "I… messed up… again…" I took my last few breath before passing out.
"Zeno, I need more towels! Seina's bleeding too much!" Yoon frantically yelled in fear of losing me.
I watched him trying to save me. I was spiritually watching Yoon. I didn't die just yet, I was just out of my body to watch Yoon's magic happen. Princess was safe and alright, but it was me who was in trouble.
Zeno ran out of the room to get towels as fast as he could.
"Please, Seina! Don't die on me!" His blue eyes were filled in anguish and hope. He wanted me to survive. "How could you be so selfless to sacrifice your body and babies like that?" Yoon tried hard not to cry as he had to cut open my stomach to take out what my unborn fetuses.
The fetuses were in a towel right next to me. There was three of them. They were the sizes of a cherry.
"I'm sorry…" I tried to touch Yoon but my hand slipped through his body like air. He couldn't hear me.
I balled my fist to cry. I'm such an idiot. I said I could reproduce more and coldly let my babies die like that.
"Zeno! HURRY!" As he screamed for Zeno, he cried. He cried for my loss and stupidity. I would too.
I laid on next to my body, watching the surgery go on. "Mommy, I know you weren't ready for us. I know you wanted to kill us that's why we tried to convince you a future that you could've had." It was my little babies speaking to me.
I didn't dare to look at them. I was too ashamed to. I failed. I failed everything I do in life.
"I'm a failure, children. Don't call me 'mommy' because I'm not one. I chose to sacrifice you guys than the Princess. I'm no mother, but a killer."
"No you're not." I felt their warm hands on me as they hugged me with their love even though they're no longer living with me. "You weren't ready to let go of your duties yet." Hot tears ran down my face as I quietly cried for my babies. They loved me no matter what. How can they love me unconditionally? I'm too ashamed of who I am. I had nothing to say because I was too broken.
"We need more, Zeno! She keeps on bleeding and bleeding, soaking through the cloth!" Yoon cried through his yellings. He was scrunching up the bloody towels in his hands. Yoon was at lost.
"Don't cry because I can't make it, Yoon." I sat up and crawled to him, overlapping my hand over his ghostly hand.
"Stay with us, Seina! Don't go just yet!" Tears were just running down his face like a rainy day with no chance of any sun.
"Yoon, my love." I bitterly frowned as he couldn't stop crying. Have I impacted their lives that bad?
"Mommy what are you going to do?" My babies asked, surrounding me as I gazed at the crying Yoon.
"I don't know, my love… I don't know." I didn't know. I was torn about how they missed me even if I'm close to death.
I got up and started to roam around the place. Shinah was too afraid of being in the room that he stayed out of it, Zeno was sweating in fear, and the other guys did not come yet. I went to check up on Lili to see if she was alright, and indeed she was. She was crying for her injured servant, Tetora. Ayura was right next to Lili, comforting her as much as she could.
"Mommy, you know you can either stay here with us or live back into the human realm." We walked back into the surgery room. "You're about to die."
I know I was. I could feel the heartbeat fading away as I lie there in my own blood. "If leaving makes them sad why should I go? I do love them all. They're what I have left. The old me died years ago. I wanted to die so badly because I couldn't live no more. I didn't want to live like this. A rag doll who is forever haunted in her dreams of freedom."
The door slammed opened, scaring Yoon and Zeno in the process.
"Yoon—- WHAT HAPPENED?!" Kija yelled, seeing that I was a bloody mess and Princess was lying peacefully at the other side of the room.
"Zeno will tell you later!" Zeno replied since he knew Yoon was stressing himself out to save me.
"I… I don't know if I can save Seina…! She's bleeding too much." Yoon wiped away his tears, staining his face with my blood. "I can't sew her up if she's bleeding tremendously because she might die in the process."
"Are those her babies?" Jaeha stumbled, trying to see the fetuses in the towel. I watched him gently putting his hand underneath the towel to hold them in his hands. He couldn't rip his eyes off the babies. "Did she…?!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Yoon shouted.
They were all in stress because of me and Princess.
"I can't leave them like this. No matter how much I wished to be dead. They need me and I need them."
"SEINA! PLEASE LISTEN… DON'T YOU DIE ON US." Jaeha grabbed my hand and gripped it tightly in fear that I'll be gone forever.
"I've impacted their lives. Princess would be sad if I were to die. Everyone would be… I need to let you guys go, babies. You're the only thing that's dragging me down. Have better lives and mothers than me. You wouldn't survive to be in my life, children. No matter who's the father, I will always remember you three and Hyunki." I smiled in closure, finally turning around to hug my dead children in my arms. "Goodbye." They disappeared in my arms and I closed my arms around me to love what I had left inside of me.
"S-she stopped bleeding…! I can finally sew her up!" Yoon shouted in relief and started to sew up my wounds.
Jaeha held onto my hand until the very end.