Chapter Name: Hit The Road Jack
Notes: So yeah. Update. It's been percolating for a while, I haven't quite ever 'stopped' working on it, it just was a bit hard to write. Plus I did complete three other stories since I last updated. Seven months ago. Wow. I also had some real life things and other non-writing projects happening which took up a lot of time.
Thanks to reviewers JazzGirl123 (for reviewing all the chapters), Fanfic-Reader-88 (kinda funny that the same thing happened again here, with iHit The Open Road II being updated just like it was when the last chapter of my story was), baronvonmilo, luvcreddie, RemDiamond, Kataangonesided, The Buried Girl, anon (interestingly, the point you make about whilst, I actually came to that conclusion myself just before that review), Angela, FosterThePeople and LuffySP. And last but not least my dear Snapplelinz. As usual I wouldn't push myself to update or write without her support.
I looked over at my room. Everything was packed, sitting beside my bed. I hadn't needed to bring more than clothes and basic supplies. We were heading to a pretty well stocked beach-house after all. The town itself had a fair share of local stores. It wasn't a ghost town by any stretch of the imagination.
I was in the process of sorting out my afk checklist. I had to make sure that nothing went wrong in my various online responsibilities. I'd queued a handful of videos on the iCarly site to launch while we were away. Most of our friends knew we were going so there wasn't much more to do, except give Gibby temporary moderator access if something bad happened. I had full control through my cell anyway.
My mail program beeped. The full site backup had been completed and uploaded to our secure off site storage locations. It was the reassurance I needed in case of a disaster while I was away. I tapped away at the keyboard, quickly sending an email with a few more ideas for the AV Club's video contest, and shut down the computer.
Carly had called earlier to make sure I was ready.
Now I had to sort out one final problem.
The door swung open and in came my hovering helicopter mother. With a huge suitcase I could tell was one of her special medical kits. It was twice as large as any of the other bags or cases I had. She'd been giving me grief in the days leading up to the trip, and her opposition was progressively getting worse. I wish Carly would hurry and finish so we could get out of the city.
"I still don't think you should go on this trip."
"Mom, it's not for long. And I'll be with Spencer, Sam and Carly." I groaned, spinning in my chair to face her.
"Exactly, those Shay yahoos and that Sam Puckett, I shudder at the thought of you spending time alone with them, all the mischief and shenanigans you'll get into!"
"Shenanigans?" I've never heard that word in a serious context.
"Yes, shenanigans! And I don't want you driving anywhere with that Sam Puckett. I bet she bribed her way to a license. Like mother like daughter." Her eyes narrowed and she stood closer to me, "Now that I think about it, I forbid you to go!" She dropped her stupid case on the floor and stood cross armed in front of it.
I rolled my eyes and did all I could do not to sigh out loud.
"Don't you roll your eyes Fredward."
"I'm going." There was no way I was going to back down here.
"No you are not, and stop with the sass-talk!"
I decided to up the ante. Might as well go all-in, "Yes I am. And I'm not taking this monstrosity." I stood up and walked over to her stupidly large suitcase, picked it up and placed it on the other side of the room.
"Do not disobey me!"
"You can't stop me going." For me, about the only positive about her massive over protection was that she was massively overprotective to the point that she wouldn't physically try to stop me, or tie me up. Or taze me. I had freedom of movement.
"We'll see about that. Come with me young man."
Curiosity more than any desire to acquiesce to her demand drew me to follow in her footsteps. Out of my room, then out of the apartment.
Mom knocked twice before barging straight through. Carly was obviously on her way to opening the door and our entrance stopped her on the spot. Spencer was doing some packing of his own and he looked over at us.
"Uh.. hi Mrs. Benson."
"Hmph. I'm here to tell you Freddie won't be going on your little trip."
Carly's face fell for a second, before she noticed I was rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Carly decided to play along with her insanity, "Oh dear, what's wrong? Is Freddie sick? You probably have work and I can't let Freddie stay unattended, I'll take care of him myself, I'll call the whole trip off right now."
"I would not let my son get sick. The problem is you, Spencer and this trip! That is what's wrong young lady!"
Carly nearly exploded with laughter at the sight of my mother red in the face. But she checked herself, calmly replying, "I don't understand?"
"I wouldn't expect you to. When you have children of your own, and not with my Freddie, you might get a clue. You'd know why you wouldn't let your only child on some flight of fancy to the ocean. Where all the sharks live." Oh god. Not this again. Ugh. Jennifer never got this kind of treatment when we were together.
Carly blanched at the words 'with my Freddie'.
Spencer joined in the conversation finally, popping out from the kitchen area, "With all respect Mrs. Benson, I'd rather hear it from Freddie."
As Spencer took my mom's attention away by way of her crossing the room, I received a text message from Carly. She asked me if I was finished packing. I sent a simple reply of yes. I should have just said so. Why didn't I just say yes? Who knows.
Carly's phone beeped, I glanced over to her. She smiled and nodded, then went back to texting. I didn't receive any new message, so it must have been for someone else.
"You don't need to hear from Freddie. I'm his mother, I'm his guardian, I'm his parent, and I love him and he is not going. I don't need to explain myself to either of you, I am simply informing you that Freddie will not be joining you."
"Freddie can make his own decisions. We've been planning for a long time, and Freddie has always been part of them. It's not fair on Freddie to change your mind on the day we're leaving." Spencer tried reasoning.
This was getting us nowhere. I interjected, "I'm going. That's the end of the matter."
"I forbid it." Mom rounded on me, pointing her finger in my face.
"I don't care. Do what you like, I'm going."
"Hmph. We'll see how good your trip is when you can't get anything out of your room!" She stormed out of the apartment, scurrying across the floor shaking her head and talking to herself.
"She's crazy. Thanks for the support guys."
I followed behind, only to find the door locked. "Mom, don't be so childish."
"I'm not. You are. If you don't want to stay when I tell you, then you can go on your own. Without any of the clothes I bought, or the food that I took you to the shop to buy, and the medicine pack that you'll need when Spencer hurts himself or Sam stabs someone or that groin rash you had comes back."
"That's ridiculous. Sam's only stabbed one person, and that was an accident. And it was with a pencil! She only needed like 15 stitches." It really wasn't Sam's fault. For the most part. At least that's what I told Principal Franklin. That groin rash was completely and utterly not my fault. It was the stupid new fabric softener we tried. It took a week to stop itching.
"You'll never get them now. I've locked all the doors and windows, and no-one will be able to get in and out of your room. So go on, have your fun. Just leave your poor sickly mother at home alone, with no-one to keep her company or protect her from hobos and ruffian youths!" She was really piling it on thickly. Maybe five years ago it would have worked. I'm immune now. Like people exposed to small doses of poison. In my case it was a never ending torrent of her passive aggression that I developed the immunity for.
"Okay, thanks Mom. I'll have fun. Don't have too good a time without me. Say hello to the hobos for me."
It was obvious when I returned to Spencer and Carly that they had heard it all. It wouldn't be too hard. Lewbert would have heard it down on the bottom floor.
Spencer wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "No worries Freddie, we're gonna have fun. And I made Sam promise not to stab anyone." Spencer patted me on the back then walked away to continue his packing, leaving me and Carly.
"So.. what now? If she won't let me back in I'll have next to nothing to wear."
Carly's eyebrow shot up, "Oh, well, we've got a little plan in action. I figured this might happen so I created a contingency. It won't be long before it's ready. Help me pack my things first."
We walked together to her room. I picked up a pair of bags off the ground and slowly stepped back out. Carly followed with the remaining bag. After a short elevator trip we managed to heft the bags into the back of Spencer's car.
As we shut the trunk her phone beeped.
"Come on, let's go. It's ready." She pulled me by the hand back towards the elevator.
"What is?" I asked as she let go. The security keypad beeped as she tapped her access code into the system. After the fourth number the buttons on the elevator flashed into life.
"Our escape plan." That raised my eyebrow. Carly leaned back on one side wall of the elevator. I did the same on the opposite side so I could see her face to face.
"Escape plan?"
Carly smirked, "Well.. technically the escape plan is for your bags, but whatever."
"Do I need to do anything?"
"Sure. Just go back up to the apartment. When I send you to the signal, wait one minute then get your mother as far away from your room as possible. If you can get her out into the hallway that would be perfect."
"The hallway? For how long?"
"I'll call you." The elevator dinged one last time and the doors slid open to reveal the Shay's kitchen area.
"Okay... this isn't anything dangerous is it?"
"The only thing it'll be dangerous for is your lack of independence. Now get ready. That's an order." Carly chuckled then shoved me out the elevator door. I turned around to watch the elevator closing. Carly gave me a cute little salute, laughed and then she was gone.
So I paced. I waited. I walked and turned and strode around and finally.
Go.
A minute later I was out in the hallway banging on the door.
"Mom."
"What?"
"Can we talk about this?" I said in my best 'giving in' voice.
"There's nothing to talk about. You're not getting in."
She's really digging her heels in. I wasn't going to get in. Then again, Carly wanted her out here.
"Okay, fine, I don't need to come in. How about you come out here so we can talk."
A nervous tension filled me for the silent moment that followed. Was it going to work?
Click.
Click.
The door opened. My mom peeked out to check each side, then gingerly stepped out into the hallway.
"Are you going to apologize?"
"I don't think there's too much to apologize for. You've always told me that I need to keep my appointments and now right when I'm supposed to leave on one, I should cancel it for no good reason?"
She made a hmph noise, "That is true Fredward, but this is a unique situation. You're going to some place I've never heard of, in a dangerous old house by the beach. There could be blue-ringed octopus! You could get eaten by a narwhal! Then what would I do without my little Fredward?"
"I could get hit by a car walking across the street. I could get electrocuted by faulty wiring here. I can't just give up on life. Mom... I'm not your little Fredward. Not anymore. I'm growing up. You need to face that."
"While you live in my h-" She turned back towards our apartment, "Did you hear something?"
"Uh... no?" I definitely heard it. It is obviously The Plan™
"Must be the building creaking. I really need to get Lewbert up here. I think the pipes are starting to come loose."
"Yeah sure.. so... can I go? This is ridiculous. None of the other guys would get banned because their mom was scared of sharks or stupid octopus. You're ruining my social life."
"Your social life was perfectly fine when you were going out with that proper and civilized Jennifer. And we all know you ruined that."
"I didn't ruin it, we just didn't work out."
"Your next girlfriend better be just as refined. I don't want any trollops waltzing around my house like they own the place trying to seduce you, get them all knocked you up so you have to marry them and waiting until I die to inherit all I've worked for in my life. I hear Melanie might be coming back to Seattle for college, you should get in contact with her. I know she had a crush on you, she's out of your league otherwise."
What? Melanie might be super hot, super smart and amazingly fun to be around (when you don't think she's Sam), a good kisser.. so okay yeah she's probably out of my league.
I was about to reply when my phone rang. Sam.
I didn't want to interrupt any continual ranting from mom but she glared at me, "Are you going to get that young man? Have you forgotten your manners? I didn't raise my son to ignore people calling on him. I'm going back inside. You can come back when this little rebellious streak has passed."
"Sam?"
"No shit assbutt. Did you figure that out by the sound of my voice or did you need to read it off your phone? Get your ass down to the lobby now. Carly set the elevator, it should be at your floor right now. Don't bother going inside Carly's, Spencer locked up behind you. Take the left elevator. That's left. The right elevator should be down in the basement."
"Alright. I'll be there soon." Sam didn't reply. The line clicked dead.
I yelled out through the door that I was going for a walk.
"Get some lentils. I'm making pea and ham soup for dinner."
Lentils. Thank god this plan worked out. I turned the corner and hit the elevator. The door open instantly and I pushed the button for the lobby. As the door closed I heard an almighty scream of "FREDWARD!"
It's pretty obvious what happened there.
As I descended I wondered what mom would do. Would she follow me all the way and try to drag me back to Seattle?
When I exited the elevator Carly was waiting, "Come on, hurry. I heard her from all the way in the carpark." She waved me over and I started into a jog.
"Spencer and Sam are already gone, they needed to get some gas. Sam didn't have any money."
"So it was up to Spencer. Typical. You got all the bags?"
"Yes. We left that stupid huge medicine one though."
"Good. That thing is ridiculous. We should be quick and get going."
"Car is parked out front." She jangled the keys in front of her face and smiled, "You ready to burn rubber?"
"Oh hell yes." I could already feel my mood shifting.
"FREDWARD!"
"How the hell did she get down here so quickly?" Carly asked as we sprinted to the car. We slammed (and locked) the doors behind us.
I could see mom, red faced and panting. "She ran down the fire stairs."
"That woman is nuts. No offence. But she is. If turn out like that when we, err, I have kids just shoot me and give the kids to Spencer or something."
"I know she is. Of course. Shoot you. Spencer gets the kids. You'd do the same for me." We laughed nervously until Carly stuck the key in the ignition.
The engine with a roar, "Whoops, had my foot on the gas. Lucky I hadn't pulled up the brake."
She isn't exactly Mario Andretti when it comes to driving. I quickly turned my head backwards and saw mom walking out of the lobby.
"If we're gonna go we need to go now." Carly pulled the handbrake up and was about to shift the car into drive when I stopped her. She nodded at me. Then the whirlwind was upon us. Carly dropped the brake and shut the car down.
"If she murders me avenge my death."
I really had to try and not laugh. Because some things are inherently funny. I looked over and Carly and she was cracking. A red faced middle aged woman screaming and ranting about delinquency and insubordination and finding me wherever I go and calling the police for stealing camping supplies is one of those things.
Then I got the stare. I calmly rolled down the window.
"I'm going. You cannot stop me. There's a reason why I made sure you have no idea where I'm actually going. Because I didn't want you to interrupt my holiday. Oh, and don't worry about that tracker in my head."
Her face paled. Eyes wide, utter shock swum over her features when I revealed my 'ace'.
"What..." Mom trailed off. Carly gave me a quick smile in support. We'd talked about what I was going to say when this moment came up. I knew I had her full backing. Even if it came to a 'worst case scenario'.
"That's right. The first time I went over to Jennifer's house her security did a once over with a metal detector. They found something alright. A tracking device in my head? You're insane. You want me to stop growing up? It's too late. I think maybe you need to grow up as well. I'm not a baby. You can't keep me on a leash like some puppy dog. I'm sick of the way you treat me and I'm done. You need help. Go see a therapist or something, because I'm over it. We EMP scrambled the tracker. So don't bother trying to use it, or whatever other backups you had implanted in me without my knowledge. They're all fried."
Her eyes jumped back and forth as she tried to conjure up an explanation for her actions. I didn't want to hear it.
"Save it mom. Whatever you are about to threaten, can it." I didn't really want to get this curt with her, but I've been dealing with this shit for too long, "Don't bother. Whatever it is, I don't care, because I'm going on this trip and if you want to threaten me I'll just move out. I'm sure I could find a place.. maybe even next door."
Carly didn't actually reply. She didn't need to. It was enough to make sure mom knew what I was saying, but not enough to drag Carly into the fight.
That shut mom right up. It was done. Over. I had won this round. Maybe even the war. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and finally she managed to get a handful of words out.
"I'm just trying to keep you safe?" She protested, I noted the questioning tone in her voice. She wasn't even sure of herself in this moment.
"I know," I sighed, "But I can't stop living my life. I can't stop growing up. I promise to be as safe as I can, but your idea of safety isn't the way I want to live. Please think about that when I'm gone. I love you, and I don't want to leave. But I need to do this for me. This trip is just the end result of that. Try to understand that please."
Nodding, she wiped a tear off her cheek. Leaning into the car slightly she spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'd do if I lose you. I forget that you're growing up sometimes. I love you Freddie."
She leaned into the car and kissed me on the cheek. Normally I avoided any contact like that, but well, I could accept it just this once. Even if Carly was sitting right next to me.
"I love you too Mom."
She stepped back and away. Fresh tears rolled down her cheek. I can't wait to see what happens when I go to college.
"Uh.. bye Mrs. Benson."
"Good bye Carly. Take care, both of you. Come back safe and sound."
"We will." Carly replied. When mom stepped away, unable to stop crying. I didn't exactly feel great at that moment.
Carly sensed my mood and drove off. Simply and quietly. After we turned down a couple of streets she quietly asked, "You okay? Want some music?"
"Sure. Yeah, I think I'm good."
Carly smiled. She adjusted the dials on the center panel and the music drowned out some of the noise of the outside world.
"For what it's worth, I think it was about time. You did the right thing. Now let's have some fun okay?"
Fun.
I need that.
It's been too long.
AN: So I hope you liked this chapter. I suppose it's the end of the 'transition' section to the next part of the story. I've got a good idea of what I want to write about in the next part of the story, I just hope I've got the time to write it.