Disclaimer: I don't own it.

AN:

Author's note now because I need to apologize right away! I'm so sorry this took so long! I was all good with my review replies and I told a bunch of you it would be out on Thursday and now it's Sunday. I just sort of fell into a funk this week and I couldn't really make myself write or do anything. But I'm feeling good again and I think this will help make up for not only my little hiatus but also what happened last time, if that's possible. Seriously, this might be my favourite chapter. The beginning has a bit of a tonal change. Plus lots of drama, lots of sass, lots of jokes, and lots of loose ends tied up and questions answered. Oh, and a couple sly LotR references that I think are pretty genius if I say so myself.

Chapter 38: Cosmology, Conspiracy, and Cake

The universe is big; it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles."

― Steven Moffat, Doctor Who

The universe is, of course, a rather big place. It is an ever-growing expanse of space, dotted with tiny pockets of life here and there.

But the universe, the one which contains planet earth and all its people, the one where you probably live, is not alone. There are an almost infinite number of universes, layered on top of each other, like a cosmic cake. And if, in this analogy, these infinite universes are the layers of cake, the Void is the icing in between each. That is, if icing were made of horribly powerful energy that could probably kill you painfully.

Every once in a while, as these universes stretch and expand, tiny tears occur, creating openings through which Void energy can leak. And there are certain beings throughout the Multiverse who, if they are lucky, or skilled, or powerful enough, can harness this energy. They may not understand exactly what they are doing, or even how or why, but the Void energy can allow these beings to hold great power.

You might call it magic.

And it just so happened that, some five months ago (well, relatively speaking, since time moves at different speeds in different universes), on that fall morning, (or, depending where you were, midsummer's afternoon) a rather large tear had formed in not one, but two universes. This was particularly important to a certain being in the universe know as Middle Earth. For you see, this being was one of the Maiar, or at least, he once was. This meant, of course, that he was immortal, a rather unfortunate fact on the whole as he was quite an unsavoury character. Well, that was putting it lightly, really. He was a dark lord of many names, vanquished long ago in the Second Age. But, being immortal, only his corporeal form was destroyed; his spirit, though greatly weakened, remained, lingering unseen for many years on the edge of Eä and the Void. Again, a rather unfortunate occurrence for any creature who happened to enjoy things like peace and freedom and the like.

So, when this opening to the Void formed in Middle Earth, his spirit was drawn to the magical energy surge it created. The Dark Lord's spirit needed this energy to regain his physical form and rebuild his once terrible power. Upon finding this rip in the fabric of his universe, the Dark Lord began to suck up the energy leaking in, attaching himself to the opening like a leech.

Yet, even this ancient Dark Lord, so skilled in the art of sorcery, did not fully comprehend where this magical energy came from, for few know of the existence of the Multiverse and the Void, and none can claim to understand how it works. The Multiverse is unpredictable. At that moment, as the Dark Lord was drawing in the energy from the tear in his universe, an explosion, though nothing too unusual or extraordinary, had managed to create a tear in another universe. It just so happened that this universe had come to rest directly above Middle Earth, so that the tears in each were precisely aligned. And, for reasons that no one will ever understand, should they ever even find out about it, this alignment linked these two universes and created a bridge between those tiny holes. So, as the Dark Lord sucked up the Void magic, he unknowingly drew in things from that other universe. One of those things just happened to be an armoured SUV, caught in the explosion that created that tear that became that bridge through the Void. And it carried two passengers. These passengers knew nothing about this rather extraordinary event, nor did the Dark Lord. At least, not at the time.

Gemma woke to find chains around her wrists and ankles. When her mind actually registered what this meant, panic came crashing in like a tidal wave. Anyone would panic if they woke up like this, but for Gemma it was the horrible familiarity of the situation which caused her body to shake and her mind to go wild. She had to... to... out, she had to get out. In her mind this cold stone tower smelt like damp dirt and cigars. She tried to fight it, or block it out as she had managed to do when she fought the dragon, but Gemma finally understood that one can't fight mental illness with the mind. The flaming torches on the walls did nothing to aid in her situation.

Don't do it, she commanded herself. Pull yourself together. You are in the middle of a war, for God's sake. Don't start... don't start crying. But she was, and she couldn't help it. Fili's horrifying and fresh death, combined with her current predicament, forced tears past her eyes. Gemma was scared. Too scared to even put on that mask of bravery she so often hid behind. At least crying brought some clarity to her tumultuous mind.

Gemma searched for a distraction, something to help her ignore the chains biting into her wrists and the complete helplessness of her situation, but she just kept coming back to one thought: Fili. Poor, sweet Fili. Gemma was in denial. The young dwarf's death played on a loop in her mind, like a stuck projection reel against the backs of her eyelids, but she just could not accept that it was real. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. Sure, they had all known that they were probably going to die in this battle, but Gemma had never expected to suffer through the pain of watching the others die. Certainly not the young dwarf brothers she had come to view as… well, they were supposed to be her nephews. This just wasn't right. In all honesty, Gemma had believed that she would be killed before them, and she would have been okay with that if it had meant that she had given her life protecting her family. But she had been powerless to stop Fili's murder and it just wasn't fair. She could only pray that Kili had escaped the lower levels of the tower before he could suffer the same demise.

Slowly, Gemma calmed down and rid herself of the terrible panic. She wasn't dead yet, and she intended to do everything in her power to keep it that way. She had plans with Thorin, after all. So she forced herself into agent mode: assess the situation, find the most favourable solution, and get it done. A precursory glance at the chains told Gemma that her release depended on a key or a person far stronger than she, for they were solidly made and tightly secured. Next, she scanned the room. It was dark, the stone walls and floors bare, and only a handful of orcs occupied it, none too close to her.

Azog stood at the other end of the room, leering at her. Had he been there the whole time? Gemma forced herself to meet his eye. When she did so she felt an unexpected and blinding pain. She was forced to tear her eyes away, but the pain continued. Blackness crept around the edges of her vision as a strange energy wracked her body. It felt like electrocution. The pain lasted for only seconds, and then it was over. Only a faint buzzing remained at the base of her skull. Gemma did not know what had happened; only that whatever had caused the pain was powerful enough to force her to the ground without any physical contact to speak of. With great difficulty, Gemma picked herself up again.

The world around her seemed to darken suddenly, as that tiny leftover buzzing grew to a hum, which continued to build until Gemma was clutching her head once more. Azog's voice cut through the noise. "The connection is being strengthened."

Gemma caught his gaze once more as she struggled to block out the painful sound. "What... what connection?" she demanded. Azog looked surprised.

"The off-worlder whore understands our speech?"

Gemma spat at him as she struggled on the ground, the noise in her head deafening. But no, that wasn't simply noise. It was words. A voice, through nothing remotely human in sound, was speaking words into her brain. "It would appear so," the voice hummed, sounding like a shifting harmony of three voices rather than one. "The magic has bound her to me. The stronger it grows, the more I see. I will know what she knows. And she will know what I do."

Connection? If she could think, Gemma would probably have been able to figure out what that meant. If she could have done anything but writhe on the floor.

"She tries to resist! Oh, what a tiny being. You cannot," the voice mocked. Gemma howled, the grating voice in her mind causing unbearable pain one more. "We are bound. I am the reason you remain in Middle Earth. The energy of our connection, of your interworldly travels, strengthens me. Soon I will shed my partial form for your complete one. Our connection will make us one in body. I will subjugate your spirit and steal your form. And I will use your otherworldly weapons to furnish my legions of orcs. Azog will lead them across Middle Earth with nothing in their path. The magic I draw from your strange energy will strengthen me. I will have no need for the ring! I will conquer Middle Earth!" The voice was shrieking and splitting inside Gemma's mind, and in her horror and helplessness she was unable to do anything but listen.

"And once I have control of this world," the voice morphed until... well, it sounded a lot like Gemma's, "I will take yours next!"

The voice shriek and then it was gone, but Gemma remained in a prone position on the floor, cries of pain and horror wracking her body. Azog was laughing in that growling voice of his, and somehow that drew Gemma back to the present. Time to think, she told herself. What did she know? Well, one, she was fairly certain she knew who that terrible voice belonged to: the great evil that commanded Azog. Sauron. Two, Sauron was currently lacking a physical form, or at least, a whole one, hence why the voice seemed to speak in her mind. Despite the power he had exerted over her, this indicated that he was greatly weakened. Three, Gemma and Sauron were connected somehow. Hooray. Four, that vision she had had days ago was most definitely one hundred percent real, and the strange presence that spoke to Azog in it was, in fact, Sauron. In all likelihood, that vision was caused by their connection. Five, the connection between Gemma and Sauron was what had pulled her to Middle Earth, and what kept her anchored there. And somehow, in her journey from one universe to the next, she had been exposed to strong magical energy, something that Sauron wanted and was currently feeding off of. Gemma was no physicist, and she knew next to nothing about magic, but this was the only thing that really made sense to her, and her only information at the moment came from interpreting Sauron's words. Was that it? She wracked her brain, trying to puzzle out the rest of the Dark Lord's words. Something about a ring? Well, she'd just have to hope that that wasn't too important. And so, that left her with only one more thing she knew: six, she was in deep, deep shit. Sauron was going to use their connection to take over her body, which would mean that she would become the face of the newly regenerated Dark Lord. Sure, Gemma could be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but that didn't mean she wanted to graduate to full-blown world-conquering evil mastermind. And if that wasn't bad enough, he was going to use her guns to create arms for his already lethal orc warriors, and take over all of Middle Earth. Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake: he intended to portal over to her world once that was all done and start Operation World Domination 2.0.

So what was Gemma going to do about it? Well, that was a very good question. Her eyes landed on Azog, still laughing in rather stereotypical evil fashion across the room. "So is that why I'm not dead yet? I thought it was because you and your orcs are terrible fighters." Gemma's taunt wasn't as bold as she had hoped it would sound, coming out in a weak and strangled voice, but it had the desired effect.

The pale orc snarled and stalked towards her. With his one good hand, (not, thankfully, the one that had been replaced by a great jagged blade) Azog grabbed her face. "Weak woman. I could have killed you the first time, when the dwarf scum left you alone and vulnerable on the pine ridge. But my master stopped me when he realized what you were. If not for his interference, you would have been killed a thousand times over during this battle."

"Do you think? It seemed I killed rather a lot of your kind," Gemma ground out, trying to ignore the pain of his grip on her jaw.

"A necessary action if we were going to capture you alive."

Alright, time to get rid of Azog. "Thorin will come for me. And he'll kill you for murdering Fili, if I don't kill you first."

The pale orc let go of her and shoved Gemma to the ground. He rose up to full height. "Stupid off-worlder. Oakenshield will die, and so will the rest of his bloodline in the same way the blond filth did. You will be powerless to stop it. No help will come." Azog signalled the other orcs in the room, and they followed him out the door as he marched to the battlefield, intent on murdering Gemma's family. Gemma held her tongue as they left, though she wanted to scream bloody murder at him for calling Fili filth. Well, at least she had succeeded in getting them to leave her alone. That was step one in her grand escape plan. Step two… um, escape.

She tried the chains. They were definitely secure. She yanked at them again, pulling first with her arms, and then at the ones on her ankles. This only succeeded in leaving deep and painful welds in her skin where the cuffs bit in. Next, Gemma searched the room. There was a key over on the opposite wall, which she would bet her life was the key to open her bonds. It hung there as if to taunt her. Gemma didn't do well with being taunted. She searched her area frantically for something to pick the locks, but there was nothing, not even a loose nail. Gemma tugged a bit harder at her chains, and then held in a scream of frustration behind her lips. She knew that wouldn't last long, the frustrated screams. Pretty soon they would be screams of genuine fear. She hadn't felt this helpless since… yeah. The orcs hadn't even extinguished the torches on the walls when they left. "Fuck," Gemma breathed. She was going to go crazy. Again.

There was one tiny piece of good news: the orcs hadn't taken all of her weapons. They had removed her rifle, Sig, and trench knife, but there was one thing they had missed. The grenades. She still had two left, resting in their belt on her hips. This, of course, wasn't the greatest of news, but it was something. Gemma would not allow Sauron to take over her body, Middle Earth, or her world. If it came to it, she would use the grenades. Not an ideal option, because despite the fact that it would be over quickly, Gemma would still burn to death, which was not the ideal COD for any pyrophobe. And, on a similar note, the actual fact that she would die wasn't too appealing either. Still, she had options.

Gemma decided for now to focus on the better option of the two: the one where she escaped and survived. She pulled at her chains, all four at once, for a third time. Nothing happened, of course. This option didn't seem to be going so well.

There was a sound outside, and Gemma fingered the grenade belt on her hip. Was Azog returning? She supposed that would be the best time to do it, really. That way she could take the bastard with her. For some reason, all Gemma could think was that Thorin would be pissed, both because she had died and because he hadn't had the pleasure of slaying the Defiler himself. He'd also be devastated, and alone. Gemma let go of the grenade, wondering suddenly if she'd have the courage to pull the pin when the time came.

Luckily, she never had to find out. As the sound outside drew closer, Gemma became quite certain that it wasn't the sound of Azog's returning footsteps. Nor was it coming from the behind the door. Instead, the sound could be heard from the window, and it sounded a lot like… wings?

Now Gemma was sure she'd lost it, because that couldn't be Legolas and Tauriel flying towards her window on gigantic bats, could it? Yet, it was, and with that elven grace that she just found ridiculously annoying at this point, the two swung into the room through the tiny window, landing on their feet in front of her without breaking a sweat. Gemma thought her mouth might be hanging open. In fact, from the smirk Legolas was giving her, she was sure that it was. Gemma scowled back at him, which only made him grin wider. "Yeah, yeah, real impressive. Now could you get me out of these chains?" She held them up to exaggerate her point. Tauriel snagged the key off the wall and had her free in no time. Legolas just stood and watched, still smirking slightly. "Bloody elf ex machina bullshit," Gemma grumbled at him. "Stop smirking, I just found out that Sauron wants to possess my body and take over my home world. I was about to blow myself up!"

Tauriel gasped and the smirk fell off Legolas' face. Mostly. "Looks like we showed up just in time."

"Oh shut up," Gemma sighed, and then pulled the two of them into a hug. "I'm glad you're both okay."

When she had released them, Tauriel implored, "Where is Kili?"

Gemma sobered completely. "He was in the tower, on the lower level, but I think he got out before Azog capture Fili and I. Fili… he's… dead." The elves bowed their heads. "I would be too, if I wasn't of use to Sauron. Which is why we need to get out there now and win this thing. Azog intends to kill Thorin and Kili. I don't know about you, Tauriel, but I prefer that my lover keeps his head. Otherwise that's a bit of a deal breaker, and we just got engaged."

Tauriel, despite the worry evident on her face, smiled at Gemma. "You are betrothed to Thorin Oakenshield?" She sounded for all the world like a typical girl freaking out over her friend's engagement. Gemma almost expected the elf to whip out a cell phone and post a facebook update about it.

Gemma grinned back giddily. "Yeah, this morning," she told the she-elf, pulling the ring out of her pocket to show Tauriel. Their fawning was interrupted when Legolas cleared his throat awkwardly. Right, the battle. Oops.

Gemma swept across the room and started strapping her weapons on her person once more. "Tauriel," she beckoned the she-elf over again. "Don't worry, Legs, this is a serious conversation this time," she shot over her shoulder to Legolas.

"Listen, Sauron said…"

Tauriel's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "You spoke to…"

Gemma nodded hurriedly as she finished strapping her things on. "Yeah. Sort of. Anyway that's not important." Tauriel looked like she wanted to disagree. "What's important is that he said, among other things, that he wants to use my weapons for his orc armies. That cannot happen. So, if for some reason I can't, I need you to find the gun I lost in the Mirkwood River. Find it and destroy it."

Tauriel nodded solemnly. "But how…?"

Gemma shrugged as she strapped on the last few things and adjusted her grip on her knife, the brass knuckles fitting snuggly. "I don't know. Drop it in a volcano or something. I doubt even Sauron could get it then."

They approached the window and joined Legolas. He pointed out and down, to the two giant war bats circling below. "Our ride," he declared, and then jumped out of the window. A second later, Tauriel followed.

"Goddamn elves," Gemma grumbled under her breath, and then, with far less grace, she jumped too. Thank goodness she was already crazy; otherwise she wouldn't have had the guts to do this. She was a bit surprised when she landed squarely on the back of the large of the two bats, right behind Tauriel. She'd actually made it. Huh.

"Where did these bats come from anyway?" Gemma asked Tauriel as the elf tried to get their creature under control. Clearly the animals weren't trained to be ridden, and neither looked pleased about the people on their backs.

Tauriel pointed north. "When we went to Gundabad we discovered them, along with a second orc army. Bolg leads it from the north. They are nearly upon Raven Hill."

"And nobody thought to tell me this?" she yelled. Typical, just typical. "We need to find Thorin, Kili, Dwalin, and Bilbo right now. They're up there."

Of course, just as she said this, a new problem arose (because they weren't busy enough, it seemed). Two shrieking roars could be heard from the west side of Raven Hill, and the elves steered their bats in that direction. Which, of course, meant they were heading away from Thorin and the others. "What was that?" Gemma shouted to Legolas.

"The wereworms," he replied gravely. "They are about to join the attack."

AN:

Well? What did you think? Am I forgiven?

Thanks for all the reviews last times, even though a lot of them expressed your urge to kill me.