A/N Okay. Warnings: strong hints of tendershipping, vague heartshipping and angstshipping keep in mind most of this was intended as friendship. Oh and the seasons do go chronologically, but there is a bit of a timeskip for summer. Hopefully it's easier to follow. Dedicated to Fiver, as requested.

What do you mean I don't love you?/I'm standing here, aren't I? ~ Tiny Little Fractures, Snow Patrol


-AUTUMN-

This was a very beautiful city, at this time of year.

Though, Ryou mused, all cities must look beautiful during fall. When the trees shed their leaves is a very beautiful sight, a very beautiful time of year. Bright yellows, oranges and reds all lit up the trees branches. Ryou would have to go to the park soon, it must be gorgeous there. Plus, there is a crisp wind in the air. Not cold enough to be uncomfortable, but just the right temperature to wear a jacket and be perfect. The cool breeze was always refreshing to Ryou.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have to live by himself here.

(But that one vaguely hopeful thought is drowned out by a million doubts so Ryou's shoulders still remain slumped.)

He takes his time walking to his apartment, taking in the pretty trees the complex had planted and looking at the cars. Ryou was trying to make everything familiar. He walked up the stairs and went to the door marked 204. The door took some fiddling but he eventually gets it opened.

His apartment is big, and he knows that he should be thankful his father can afford it, but it just makes the apartment feel emptier.

(And makes him feel more alone.)

The living room is very wide and open, with the door the balcony on the right wall. There is a hallway leading to his bedroom and bathroom he presumed, and the kitchen was to the left off the door. Ryou walks to the refrigerator and that's when he sees it.

A small brown box, marked with a return address of Egypt.

(Father…)

Hesitantly, Ryou begins to open up the box. He tries to calm himself, because the chances of it being a birthday present were so slim even if you don't consider the fact his father hadn't sent him a present in two years…

Inside the box was another box, this one wrapped in bright paper (like the colors of the leaves outside) and a letter.

Ryou opens his birthday present (a small grin overtakes his face at that word) first.

It…well he didn't really know what it was. At least, he didn't know what to call it. It was beautiful, in an odd sort of way. Haunting, almost. Eerie too, but it also had a calming factor. Ryou kind of wanted to wear it. Was that what he was supposed to do with it? There is a small loop where string could go…

Ryou looked through the box and found a piece of rope. So he was supposed to wear it.

Next he opens the letter.

Dear Ryou,

I wanted to get something special for your birthday, something one of a kind. I found this at the local bazaar. I don't know if it is real gold and I know for certain it isn't an artifact because the merchant said it had something to do with that Duel Monsters game you like so much. But it certainly is interesting right? Oh and the merchant who sold it to me called it the millennium ring.

Happy Birthday!

I love you son.

~ Your father.

Ryou puts the millennium ring on and can almost see his father smiling at him and mouthing those four words:

"I love you, son."

It seems like it was five autumns ago that his father had said that to him. But now Ryou has this ring to prove his father does at least care for him, if only a little…

(So he's never going to it off, he'll wear everyday and through all of the autumns it takes for his father to say I love you again.)

-WINTER-

Domino has frozen over.

Everything is encrusted with ice and a coating of snow lies over it. In the morning it had sparkled in the sun, but now the afternoon has made the sky grey so the snow too looks grey. As Ryou hurries across the park (it was a shortcut he took from school to his apartment, because the faster he got home, the better) the snow crunches beneath his feet. The snow was definitely packing snow. That's what Amane would say, she did always love to make snowballs…

Ryou tries to summon the memory (memories of Amane are all that keeps him going, now) but all he sees is darkness. What could possibly be blocking his memory?

The millennium ring digs deeper into Ryou chest as if to answer him.

Ryou's hands begin to shake and his shoulders slump. His is almost brought to his knees but the sheer force of his hatred for the spirit of the ring.

(Not even that, you can't even let me have that?)

His knees give out and he falls to the ground. The snow really doesn't do much to soften the impact.

Ryou closes his eyes, trying to hold back tears.

No, no. He was so sick of being weak and fragile, he had to be strong. Strong because the spirit was strong and he had to protect Yuugi and Yuugi's friends (they had been so kind to him and didn't deserve what Ryou had brought upon them…) – he had to defeat the spirit.

But his legs have no strength and Ryou cannot get up.

(A few tears slip out, but Ryou pretends they don't.)

Something caresses his skin and Ryou clutches his arm in fright. There was nothing there (though his arms felt slightly wet). Ryou looks up towards the sky and sees white dots falling from the grey clouds.

It's snowing.

Snow always made Amane happy, so it had made Ryou happy too. (And no, you can't take her from me, spirit, no matter what!)

But now, it's just cold and wet when it reaches his skin. It means nothing.

Ryou rises from the ground and hurries home.

Maybe he makes it to his apartment.

Maybe he doesn't.

Ryou can't tell because with each step he takes the house to right off him dissolves and falls into a black abyss that has appeared on all sides of him. The only thing left from the real world was the pavement he had been walking on and now it only leads one way. Ryou turned his head to see the blocks he had walk dissolve too.

It's the spirit's doing. Ryou already knows.

Only the spirit could create something so dark.

Ryou follows the path set out for him because he can do nothing else.

A few steps, that was all it took before Ryou saw a small platform come into view. The spirit was there, arms crossed, waiting for him.

(And Ryou's heartbeat quickens with something that could only be dread.)

The pavement ends and Ryou climbs onto the platform. Finally the last little bit of the real world melts away and it is only he and the spirit of the millennium ring standing there in the darkness of their souls.

"Yadonushi," The spirit smirks.

"You," Ryou glares.

They don't ever call each other by real names, because they both shared a similar thinking pattern.

Ryou would not give the spirit a name because the spirit was nothing more than a shadow – darkness already had one name and real names were reserved for people.

The spirit would not address Ryou by his name because all Ryou was to him was a host – yadonushi would suffice and besides names were meant for people, not tools.

"You act so cold," the spirit says and starts to circle Ryou, "Even after all I've done for you."

Ryou's fists clench. Memories come spilling towards him (but only painful memories, the only type of memories the spirit allows Ryou to have) of laughing, of playing games with his friends, of how glassy their eyes became after the game ends, just like the glassy eyes of his figurines.

"I never wanted any of that! Any of the things you've brought to me!" Ryou shouts, (and you're only saying that to hurt me, you only did those things to hurt me, you don't care about my wishes, it's just sadism –)

The spirit scoffs, but something in his eyes burn.

(Maybe he really does just like watching Ryou squirm.)

"You did want me though. Remember; remember your promises, yadonushi? Do you think I will just let you forget them so easily?"

Ryou takes a step back.

"I don't know what you're talking about," his voice is shaking and his clenched fists begin to tremble.

The spirit's smirk grows revealing canine teeth. Ryou shivers.

"You promised to help me collect all seven of the millennium items and that is a promise you will keep." The spirit's voice is low and powerful and Ryou feels his defiance weakening.

(He is scared.)

"No, I didn't…I would never…" Ryou's words break and dissolve much like the pavement had earlier.

"You did. The day put on the millennium ring."

Ryou has no words, he has no voice.

(Had he wanted this? Did he deserve this? To help the spirit of the ring to get the millennium items so he could…destroy the world…avenge Kul Elna?)

"You will help me."

"No!" Ryou shouts with such force the platform they stand on vibrates.

Ryou faces the spirit head on; shoulders back, chest out, and eyes locked with the mirror reflection of his own brown eyes.

He is no longer afraid.

(I think I do want to help you…just not like that…if you'd let me help you differently, maybe…maybe…)

The spirit does not flinch or step back but his mouth does press into a fine line. He takes a step forward, grabs Ryou by his collar (he does not shriek or call out or fight, Ryou simply holds the spirit's intense gaze) and pulls Ryou close, so close their faces are almost touching –

And –

(Ryou's heart is beating faster and faster; out of panic, out of the instinct – though all of his instincts are going off right now and he can tell what a frantic heartbeat really means anymore – )

And –

And that is all.

The spirit lets Ryou go, and Ryou is sinking into the black space, falling and tumbling like the snowflakes in the sky had.

Ryou thinks about reaching out for the spirit, to try to hold onto his hand (if only to see what it would feel like) but his common sense stops him.

The spirit is cold-blood, ruthless – a murder.

Ryou shouldn't care.

( – Even though all the spirit allows him is bad memories, so he hears the village being burned sometimes, hears the cries in his sleep like the spirit must have heard for three thousand years – )

He doesn't.

So he lets himself fall through the darkness.

(And besides, the spirit's touch would probably just hurt him – like the stung you feel when you first touch ice.)

-SPRING-

It's spring.

By now little green buds have appeared on the trees, the snow having melted away a long time ago. The lawns would be dotted with flowers of every color, birds would be chirping and the sun would finally start to shine again. (Probably, since Ryou really hasn't been out of his apartment to see.) But it was a great time of year. Spring meant rebirth, renewal, hope.

So why did Ryou still feel as dead and cold as he did in winter?

(Worse even, but if he thought about that it meant…meant things that made no sense.)

There's a knock at the door.

Ryou's eyes narrow. He doesn't want to see anyone; he just wants to be alone (because now he was truly alone what with the millennium items being gone).

Another knock. Whoever they were they were persistent.

Ryou turns his attention back to the mirror. It didn't matter who the person at the door was. They would have to give up eventually.

Yet another knock, louder than all the ones before it.

Ryou, snarling under his breath opens the door.

Yuugi stands there innocently and smiles up at him.

All of the anger Ryou had felt prior to that freezes into a lump in his throat. He pursues his lips.

"Hello, Yuugi-kun."

"Hi, Bakura-kun!"

Yuugi reaches out to grab his hand. Ryou recoils.

"What do you want?" Ryou speaks the words monotonously, no emotion either way. Cold indifference.

Yuugi appears to be taken back by this, maybe even hurt and most definitely surprised. Ryou was never rude.

"I…I wanted to invite you to go look at the cherry blossoms. They're blooming in the park!" Yuugi's voice is ridiculously hopeful, it makes Ryou feel so sick.

(He wants to be like that, to be able to smile again.)

"Thank you, but no," Ryou says curtly, "I'm sure you Anzu, Jou and Honda will be fine without me."

Ryou closes the door, but Yuugi wedges his foot to stop it from closing completely.

"I didn't invite them," he says, the hopefulness now slightly dimmed.

"You...you didn't? Why not!" Ryou says it almost angrily, just because he is so confused.

(And the only way to understand was to look at everything in his life piece by piece, and Ryou didn't want to do that. He couldn't. It was so much easier to just hate, instead of forgiveness…)

"I thought it would be just better you and me," Yuugi says and diverts his gaze to ground; "I remembered you told me how much you loved them once."

"You remembered that?" The façade he had put up was starting to thaw like snow in spring and was revealing what really lied beneath his indifference.

Pain.

Yuugi gives a small smile and nods vigorously.

"Yeah, I remember everything you tell me. Like your birthday is September 2nd or that you're favorite food is creampuffs…" he trails off.

Ryou stares at Yuugi, both amazed and horrified.

"So," Yuugi looks up from the ground, straight into Ryou's eyes (which are starting to soften), "Will you come with me? You haven't talked to me in a long time and I'm worried about you."

Ryou's eyes harden once again.

"There's no need to be worried about me. I'm fine," he sneers.

(You don't even care about me, do you? You just think I'm a threat? That I'll turn out like him? He wasn't even…he never…I'm…)

"No you're not," Yuugi says and suddenly he looks very old and tired. Not at all like the way Yuugi should look.

Before Ryou can retort or defend himself Yuugi is smiling again. A soft, sad smile.

"I miss you," he says, "A lot."

"I miss you too," Ryou says, the words just spurting out of his mouth. But he means them, even if he doesn't want too.

"Come with me, Bakura-kun," he pauses, and for the first time, Yuugi's smile falters.

"Please," Yuugi whispers.

"Why?" Ryou looks up at Yuugi (up, because he has been slouching this whole time, the only time he ever stood up straight was when the spirit of the ring –) and his eyes are red. He's desperate for answers, for consolations, for apologizes, for a reason why this happened to him…

Yuugi looks down, and smiles sadly. He knows.

(And better yet he understands.)

"Because we're friends. Aren't we Bakura-kun?"

Ryou lets everything wash over him (-everything-) and stares at his feet.

"Yeah."

He raises his head looks at Yuugi and smiles, no matter how broken it is and even if it is just barely reaching his eyes, it's like the way flowers slowly break through the frozen ground. Ryou just needs time and he'll bloom.

"We are. No matter what."

Yuugi's eye lit up like a carnival and he pulls Ryou into a hug. It takes Ryou a few seconds to remember what he is suppose to do (it had been such a long time since he had been hugged…) but he does remember. And he hugs Yuugi back.

Then Yuugi smiles big and bright enough to unfreeze both of them.

-SUMMER-

It's nice a summer day.

The air is thick, and while it's only in the seventies the humidity makes it feel much, much hotter. Ryou doesn't mind though, it's better than the rain they've had for the last few days. At least now the sun is shining. The sun is the one reason why Ryou is at the park at all today. He usually prefers to study within the comfort of his apartment, but the sunshine was too good to pass up.

It's just so…nice.

(That word is still foreign on his lips, even though there are more occasions for him to use it than ever before.)

Ryou diverts his attention back to the textbook in front of him and reaches for his highlighter. The park is so quiet today, which is surprising but nevertheless Ryou enjoys it very much. Peaceful, that's word. It was very peaceful.

"Hey Ryou! Ryou!" A loud voice calls out from behind him, ruining his perfect silence. There were only two people in the entire world who ever called Ryou by his first name, and only one of them was going to college in Domino.

"Hi Malik," Ryou says and his voice already sounds exhausted. He doesn't even bother to look up.

"Put away your cruddy books, we are going on a road trip!" Malik declares.

Ryou ignores him. He has become so use to Malik's seemingly random demands by now; they no longer rile him up.

"Did you hear what I said?" Malik asks, sneering a bit.

"Yes, I did," Ryou says dryly, flipping the page of his textbook.

"Then why are you still reading?"

"I have an exam in two days, Malik. I need to study." Ryou explains, almost patronizingly.

Malik rolls his eyes.

"You want to pass an exam by studying that tripe?" Malik eyes Ryou's textbook with disdain, "Trust me, Ryou. They have no clue what they're talking about it."

"I know." Ryou says, because he does. He knew when he first decided to major in Egyptology that he would know more than any of the professors or textbooks.

"So why do bother reading it?" Malik says slightly accusatory and sits himself right next to Ryou.

(Ryou doesn't mind Malik being so close.)

"Because I have an exam based around this textbook, Malik. However inaccurate it may be."

"So you mean to tell me that you are going to waste a perfect day like this reading and memorizing information that isn't even accurate?" Malik scorns.

"Yes."

Malik lets out an aggravated snort.

Amazingly, the actually sit in silence for a few minutes. Ryou even manages to read something about hieroglyphs before –

"Ryou I'm bored." Malik whines, sounding like such a bratty child.

It never fails with him. Malik was always craving for adventure, to just get up and get going. He had changed his major about a dozen times, because he got bored with his studies. Ryou knew it had something to do with living in the catacombs all those years. Even though his family's mission had been accomplished, maybe somewhere in the back of Malik's mind he feared that he would have to return and wanted to do all he could now. That's why Ryou lets himself be dragged along for many a stupid stunt. They were friends, after all.

(And Ryou wanted nothing more than to see Malik happy.)

But – Ryou was not so lucky as to have a big sister to pay his way through college like Malik did and he was only making by his scholarships that he was making ends meet, so his studies were very important.

"Maybe you could do something with someone else," Ryou suggests and turns the page of his textbook.

"I don't want to go with anyone but you Ryou," Malik says and means it. Truly means it. Ryou can tell by the way he's usually arrogance is absent, and there is no bitter connotation. The words are spoken bluntly and truthfully. Ryou's not surprised. They are, after all, both damaged goods. It was only natural they'd find solace in each other.

(Maybe that's why he lets Malik call him Ryou.)

That knowledge makes Ryou smile; sweet and serene.

Malik scoffs.

"Well don't just sit there, looking at me. Let's do something!"

"Like what, Malik?" Ryou asks. Obviously Malik was not going to let Ryou study. And it wasn't like his exam was tomorrow so if Malik had something reasonable in mind that only took a few hours, Ryou would consider it.

"Skiing. Let's go skiing."

Ryou blinks.

"Malik, it's summer."

"Well, then let's go to Colorado or something," Malik grumbles.

"It's summer in America, too."

"Well there has to be somewhere in the world where it's snowing!"

Ryou cocks an eyebrow and then bursts out laughing. The sound is full and unburden and joyful.

(I'm so glad I'm here with you.)

Malik glares at him, mouthing hanging open. That only makes Ryou laugh harder.

The blonde glare turns into a stare and to Ryou it looks like he is considering something.

"…I am being kind of ridiculous aren't I?" Malik asks after a moment.

"Yeah," Ryou says the ghost of his laughing fit still there, "Yeah, you are."

Malik lets out a loud groan and then buries his face into his hands.

"I can't help it," Malik moans through his fingers, "It's just so boring here."

"You could have stayed in Egypt," Ryou reminds him and gently pats him on the shoulder.

"I'm so sick of Egypt," Malik hisses and jerks himself out of Ryou's contact.

Ryou can already feel the guilt crawling up to his throat and making him say things that he really shouldn't say (but some part of him feels he needs to nonetheless).

"Hey," Ryou reaches out again to touch Malik, "There must be something here you want to do?"

Malik eyes Ryou askance and Ryou gives his best "I'm completely innocent and really, really agreeable" smile.

"Well…," Malik looks away, but not before Ryou catches the devilish glint in his eyes, "I've always wanted to climb Mt. Fuji."

Ryou's mouth drops open.

"Please tell me you're kidding."

"Don't be such a baby, Ryou. It's not that hard at all! I was doing some research and really the only major difficulty is the thin air!"

"Thin…air…?" Ryou chokes out. But the thought of him climbing a mountain isn't as bizarre as the idea of Malik doing research. It must really be important to him.

Ryou's heart sinks and he could feel the color draining from his face. Malik notices that too.

"Come on Ryou it will be fun and so entertaining!" Malik urges.

"Is that all I am to you, Malik? Entertainment?" The words were supposed to be sarcastic, but they come out half-way true.

"Of course," Malik scoffs, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Ryou is taken aback and he can feel his body tense (the way it does whenever some hurts him).

Malik looks at him up and down.

"That's why we're friends, Ryou," He emphasizes that f word because like Ryou knows how much Malik needs freedom, Malik knows how much Ryou needs friends.

Ryou gazes deep into Malik's lilac eyes. There is no hidden agenda in them.

And that's enough for Ryou.

(He doesn't want to overanalyze right now, because what they have is nice. And that's all he wants, he doesn't need something epic. )

"But really, climbing Mt. Fuji?" Ryou says and his voice shakes just a bit.

Malik smirks.

(Everything is alright between them.)

Before Malik even says it, Ryou know what's coming.

"You have to live your life, Ryou! Take a few risks, for once," Malik sneers the last two words out. Just like he always does.

"There's a difference between taking risks and stupidity."

"If you are too scared to do it for yourself, at least do it for me," Malik demands, rudely and obnoxiously. His stare pierces through Ryou and the white-haired boy knows his been defeated.

Ryou sighs, yet somehow he can't stop himself from smiling.

"It'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."

Malik (with a cocky smirk) offers Ryou his hand.

Ryou takes it.

"Fine, Malik. I'll do it."

(I'll do it for you.)

A warm summer breeze ruffles through Ryou's hair and he knows everything will turn out fine.

A/N Guys this story kicked my butt so hard. SO HARD. I had so many ideas for this quote I just squeezed them all into one story. I thought it would turn out awesome...but. Well I apologize but at least you can't say I didn't try. I tried so hard. It's kind of okay.

Review for me? Please?