POV: Vixen

The com goes silent. Taking deep even breaths I turn to Beetee, "Who do I need to talk to for permission to go topside?"

A soldier, named Boggs, steps forward, "You can go with my team. They're going to the surface to see what the damage is. Jackson!"

"Sir," a woman says stepping up.

"Take Soldier Welkin to the surface with you. She must stay within sight at all times."

"Yes sir," she replies.

"Report the damage as soon as possible," orders Boggs.

Jackson stands straight and salutes, "Yes sir."

During the ride in a multidirectional elevator, I try to control my breathing. Jackson keeps giving me sidelong glances. She didn't hear the conversation I had with my family. Doesn't know what I've just lost.

Each rung of the ladder to the surface hurts, but I like feeling pain right now. In the back of my head I know I'll be begging for my crutches back soon. But that care is thousands of miles away.

Jackson's team divides up, weapons at the ready. She looks at me, "Stay in sight."

"Right. I'll just be over between those trees," I say.

Her eyes question if I'm all right, but she doesn't ask and so I don't say anything. Slowly I walk to the trees I indicated and sit down. Jackson watches me for a few moments before turning her attention back to the wreckage. Bringing my knees to my face I wait for the tears to come.

Uncle Res had finally come back to Donner and now he's an orphan. Kolb and his girlfriend were talking marriage after we'd take our district back. Their marriage was to mark our victory. Hattie, dear sweet Hattie who went out of her way to be kind to people, will never smile again. When I think of Raiden the tears come crashing down my face.

"Truthfully? I don't want you to go. But I like the idea of knowing you'll be safe. I'll see you when you get back."

Raiden kissed me, but only briefly since both of us felt my father's eyes on us. It was the last thing he said to me before I hopped on board the hovercraft to come to Thirteen. And now I'll never see him again.

"Soldier Welkin," says Jackson.

I didn't even hear her coming and I start. It's too late to do anything to cover up my tears so instead I just wipe them away.

"We need to go back down," she says. "You going to be able to handle that or do I need to drug you?"

It takes a moment to realize that I must look like a wreck. Without knowing the reason for my tears she must think I'm relieved to be above ground. I am, but not for the reason she thinks. How could she understand what pain I'm going through? How could anyone in Thirteen possibly understand what the rest of us have gone through? They're all safely tucked away underground where the horrors of war can't reach them. They don't know the pain of loss, they don't understand pain at all.

Anger clears up my tears. "I'll be fine conscious."

Below I'm taken to the hospital, the new one anyway, to have my mental health evaluated. The 'all clear' was given just minutes ago and the doctors and nurses have yet to make an appearance. But Jackson said to stay put, so I'm staying.

By the time a doctor does show up my eyes are less red and no longer puffy. I tell them that I tried to go without crutches and my leg is acting up. It's true and the doctor quickly examines my leg and tells me to use one crutch for the bad leg for the next few days. Without another hitch I'm released and get my new compartment number.

Opening the door I expect to see my three roommates but instead only see Sas. A glance around the room and I realize that there's only two bunks.

"Hey, was beginning to think you got lost," she says cheerfully.

I flop onto my bed, "Went to the surface to check out the damage."

Instantly she's interested, "What's it like up there?"

Sighing I stare at the ceiling, "Just like home, without the dead bodies."

Sas looks at her arm, "Well, shower's free. I've got to get to class. See you at reflection."

"See ya," I reply.

I stare at the devise that gives me my schedule everyday and know that I'll be ignoring it anyway. Rolling over I let grief take me again.

The next morning I decide I don't want to be in my room alone again. Slowly, because I'm weak from not eating at all yesterday, I make my way to the eating area. Braden catches sight of me and hurries to the line.

"Didn't see you yesterday," he says. "Everything all right?"

"No. I got a chat with my grandparents. On top of Kolb, I've lost an uncle and two friends."

His face instantly drops in sympathy, "I'm sorry."

Without a word or asking if I want help, he takes my tray through the rest of the line and over to where he's sitting. Braden apologizes, but everyone from Five has to get back to work as soon as possible. After they leave, I sit by myself until I finish and head down to Special Defense.

Plutarch is down with Beetee showing something on a map. Upon seeing me the map disappears, but not before I get a glimpse of the Capitol.

"Ah Vixen," says Plutarch in his usual cheer. "Something we can help you with?"

"I want to shoot something," I say. "I've got a load of anger I need to vent out from being trapped in this rabbit warren and I'm pretty sure no one wants to be a target."

Plutarch blinks and turns to Beetee. In a few minutes I'm armed and on a firing range. Over my stay here I've occupied many hours testing out the guns. They're not as good as the guns I've handled in Five, but then those were the latest models.

I've obliterated my targets at two-hundred and fifty yards. I've always been a good shot, and having a Peacekeeper taking me out shooting once a week since I was fourteen helped a great deal. Long story, and I'm not telling.

Idiot! I've watched the shooting ranges and not a whole lot practice this far back. Looking around I've noticed no one has paid me any attention so I move closer and continue shooting. No one is supposed to know how good I am. At least no one here.

Later in the day I'm back at the computer with Sums going over footage for our next attempted break in of the Capitol feed. The team's previous attempt only let us gain control has not yet been discovered. In other words, we can still use the same technique.

Like last time we watch all available footage. Katniss talks about how she met Peeta and declares her freedom from President Snow. I stare in shock at what I hear next. Finnick is telling the truth about all of his lovers.

Finnick and Katniss later come down here keeping themselves occupied. Their minds are clearly elsewhere all up until the start of the mission. My mind is occupied as well knowing there is no stopping this. The time for secrets is over.