The Quite Peckish Games

"Soooo, I guess we won." Pita the... You know what, this is the last chapter. Screw being clever, you've only waited thirty two chapters for our amazing conclusion!

"I guess we did," I agreed. I also felt a short stinging feeling in my chest, most likely due to agreeing with that dough-made wanker. "At least according to that announcement that I was too lazy to narrate a couple chapters ago." C'mon, you all know the damned story, and what's coming. Even I did. And I'm, well, me. Also the Author hates me too much to kill off Pita.

"Attention, all well-liked characters in the arena!" A Voice announced over the... Announcing Thing that can somehow be heard throughout a seemingly infinite arena. "Oh, and Pita. We always forget about Pita. You wanna know what sucks?"

There was an awkward silence, "Do you think that was a rhetorical question-"

"Having two winners is that thing that sucks!" The Announcer announced, "That joke sounded was a lot better when I was rehearsing my evil lines in the mirror."

... I really hope you didn't laugh at that line, because everytime we introduce a funny character that everyone likes, they're either me or probably gonna die, due to not being me. Go ahead, read the comments section on that one chapter with Sparkle. Guess which character the Author regrets making the only likable character?

The character would be Priem. But that's not a very good punchline, so let's say it's Sparkle-

"Seriously?! I'm making my plot twist announcement so I can get a whole four or five lines in this book, and you interrupt me for two whole paragraphs, making bad 'jokes'?!" The Announcer complained. And they call ME un-likable! "The basic gist of this is that only one of you can live, and I'm totally being completely serious with this. No number of people in the arena is getting out of there alive, except if that number is one. This story is WAY too good to cop out like that wit an ass-pull of a plot twist like both of you living. That would be ridiculous. I'm one hundred percent sure-"

Pita jumped off the Metal Platform nobody explained, and walked over (Nope, no Wolves less. I think they were engulfed by a plot hole.) to a Nite Lock bush. Rumour has it, one of the berries on there would make you think you're cool for miss-spelling things. Then it will bring you immense pain, eventually killing you. But that miss-spelling thing, that's why everyone hates them.

"If you don't let us both live, we shall kill ourselves by eating these berries!" Pita mocked.

"Yeah, sure. I'm coming over there too, gonna kill myself if we don't get outta here. Yep-"

"NOOOOO!" The Announcer yelled, "Fine, fine. YOU SHALL PASS- I mean, YOU SHALL BOTH NOT DIE!" Argh, if he gave me like, ten more seconds, Pita would've killed himself, and this story would become of quality again.

A couple of minutes later, through reasons un-explained, because why the hell not, we are taken back to the Capitol.

I was taken to a room in the Capitol Capital Tower. I had an interesting, two-sided, deep, mind-blowing conversation. I'm not going to narrate it for you, though. You said the chapters were two short, and now I have to do like, one thousand words of it. And I'm freakin' tired!

After about an hour of staring at the ceiling, (something Heybetch has told me is signifacently smarter than me. And it carries a story better, too. Heybetch never told me the last one, the internet forums did.) Miffy got me from my room.

"Guess what?" She cheered, "I'm still actually in this story! And you avoided your inevitable death!"

Yes, yes I did. I'm pretty sure that whole 'inevitable death' thing is a running gag. Now you see why she got phased out of the freaking story.

"What is it?" I asked. Holy Ledger, I'm actually getting a line in this chapter! That's really rare, now.

"It's time for your interview with Caesar Saladman!" Miffy told me, "We need it to pad out the length to match the last damned chapter!"

"Fine, fine..."

I, somehow, did nothing worth narrating about for a goodlengthed walk, and ended up at the extraordinarily expensive set of the 'Caesar Saladman's Little Variety Show' show!

"Why, welcome back, Kamuss Evermean!" Caesar greeted, "First of all, congratulations on winning your Games!"

"Thank you," I replied, "I didn't even really do all that much..."

"Heck yeah, you didn't do much!" Caesar agreed, "In fact, you barely did anything other than walking around, not dying, and killing squirrels!"

"... I was being modest, Pun Name Man." Hahahahaha, I'm sure that insult really put him in his place!

We went through the rest of the interview fairly well. And by fairly well, I mean we all ignored Pita. Hahahahaha, he kept trying to be a valid part of the conversation! (Well, whatever little amount you can have where one character is named after hippie food, and the other is a completely AMAZING Mary Sue.) He probably would've talked about bread or something, that idiot.

We started on a train to Sector 12.

I can't wait to use my infinite supply of snacks... I mean, I can't wait to see my family. Yeah, they're awesome and stuff. Not 'snack' awesome, but awesome.

HOLY CRAP! Someone actually FINISHED a Fan Fiction! And the conclusion was satisfying! Well, as satisfying as you can get from writing at 11:45 PM, basically bitching about a book that you have no way of getting as popular as!

But enough for ranting (That's for the fan girls! I'm already barricading myself from their forces... Do you have a machine gun I could borrow?), it's time to say what this story has accomplished!

This story has, at the time of this writing, 13 favorites, 14 followers, a mildly popular spinoff, 6,565 views, and 100 reviews! This is pretty much the most popular thing I have ever done!

Thanks to Chalieal, the writer of the 100th review, and the excellent writer of the currently in-progress The Game, thanks to anyone who I ran a joke by, thanks for everyone who has reviewed, thanks to that Morman guy who threatened me because of a Twilight joke misunderstanding, thanks for Kamuss, who's such an idiot it's funny, and thanks to ANYONE who has gone so far to read this line!

Right now, I'm going to post a list of things I considered doing with the story. Because why the hell not, it's not like I have any STORY to be writing!

- A "Heybetch's Speech" chapter, which I missed when originally writing.

- A chapter detailing Sparkle's death. I actually thought about it right after I'm a Muppet of a Girl's bonus chapter, when people started loving Sparkle, and wanted her to be the protagonist!

- A chapter detailing Pita's POV in a part of the Games. When I was going to do this, Pita wasn't really doing anything. When he would've been interesting, (When he was with the Careers, when he was fighting Cano, and when he was with Mesh.) I forgot about it.

- A Halloween chapter taking place in Sector 12. It probably would've starred Storm, Priem, and Match. I really didn't have anything to talk about in the story.

- A Christmas themed episode, of which I was actually going to write late-November. I had the notepad open, and I couldn't write anything down. I had nothing to write, man!

- A Crove based chapter. Didn't really go anywhere.

- Weasel-Face was supposed to live a lot longer. I loved the idea of having Weasel-Face and Kamuss team up, because people loved the two characters in the original book, and there is some awesome slash fiction about them- I MEAN BECAUSE THEY ARE FUNNY TOGETHER!

- Cano, Mesh, Pita, and Kamuss were going to team-up to fight the Wolves. It was a cool idea, but it was two in the freaking morning, and I had a lot to write, so I didn't want to take up too much team with them meeting. That leads into...

- The 'Wolves' fight was going to be a lot longer. The reason it didn't show up is the same as why they didn't meet together to fight them.

- There was, in the time between 'Chapter de Rien' and 'Kamuss Meets a Squirrel', I planned on having a scene where the Evil Wasp things were going to kill Sparkle. The Evil Wasp Things never met with anyone during one of the chapters, so it was cut.

- A LOT more commentaries were thought of. Not many liked the first batch, so these were scrapped.

- There was going to be a chapter where the Game Makers were getting pissed off at Kamuss, which was probably replaced with one of my least favorite chapters, the 'Trainers' chapter. They were never really explored in the books, so I couldn't write much with them other than this:

"ARGH, Kamuss is an idiot!" The Head Game Maker cried. "Let's just kill her now! WE HAVE THE TECHONOLOGY! And by technology, I mean fire balls and Wolf Mutants!"

"I'm afriad we can't, sir." Nameless Extra Jr. replied.

"WHAT?! Why?!" The Head Game Maker yelled.

"Because she's the main character, sir."

"So what?! They could always write bonus chapters, un-necessary to the main story!"

"Please," Nameless Extra Jr. argued, "Everyone hates those!"

That's it! I don't think I have anything else to write for now, so, thank you, good bye, and look out for more bonus chapters, and OH MY GOD I'M CATCHING FIRE!