Chapter 38: We All Fall Down
After a long trek through the bitter winter, I stood over the hill overlooking what the others referred to as the Crystal Palace with Sailor Pluto and Saturn. So much snow had fallen that I had to carry Luna in my arms. "It looks...different," noted Luna. My heart dropped when I saw the shimmering dome mausoleum: it was a mirror image of the Moon Palace.
I looked at the base of the cliff; it was high, but there was enough of a slope for us to slide down. Pluto looked a bit nervous. "Quickest way down," I said and led the way. Sailor Saturn laughed as she and Pluto slid down after me.
Luna screeched when I forgot I was holding her and fell into the snow stomach-first at the sight of figures in the distance. "I see people on the lake. How could anyone be outdoors in weather like this?" asked Trista.
Remembering details like appearances and clothing was still not one of my strong suits...but I could never forget my first day at the Moon Palace. They were dressed exactly like the nobles."They look...transparent," I noticed when I got a closer look and saw through them.
"They could be mirages created by Amethyst's compact. What could she be up to?" wondered Luna. She jumped out of my arms and shook herself off after she fell deep into the snow. "I'll check up ahead to make sure!"
"The snow is too thick for you to walk, Luna," Pluto pointed out. She turned to me and said, "stay back with Sailor Saturn.
"Yes, Princess," I agreed.
Sailor Pluto stood and crept forward, but abruptly halted, turned her head, and stared at me like this was the first time she had seen me. "Wait! Did you just call me 'Princess'?" asked a baffled Sailor Pluto.
Confused, I lurched up on my elbows and turned to Sailor Saturn. "Was I not supposed to?" I asked.
"Why are you being so respectful?" asked Sailor Pluto. "Ever since you returned from the hospital, you haven't made one snide remark or belittling comment about Pluto!"
Why would she expect me to say things like that? "I've never even been to Pluto. I would have liked to visit!"
"Really? Even with people out there calling it a 'useless lump of ice and rock' and arguing that Pluto is not even a planet?" Pluto mirrored the same confused look that everyone in my hospital room gave me when they realized I didn't remember 'anything about being Logan'.
"Queen Serenity said it was a planet! Don't people in the twenty-first century have anything better to talk about?" I asked Trista.
Sailor Pluto smiled down at Sailor Saturn. I could tell by the lines of tension in Trista's facial muscles that Pluto didn't smile often. "Does Charon really need his present day memories back, Hotaru? Maybe we should keep him exactly the way he is!"
"You are so mean sometimes!" pouted Sailor Saturn.
"I was joking, Hotaru!" laughed Trista...though the words sounded forced. She really meant it.
"You never make jokes, Trista!" called out Saturn. I lowered my face so Pluto wouldn't see me smirking.
Sailor Pluto glared at Saturn, but turned away to shake her head. "We sound like the Inner Scouts. Wait here, I'll go ahead," said Sailor Pluto.
"I never thought I would see the Moon Palace again..." I said to Luna and Hotaru as Trista went ahead.
"I never saw the Palace before it was destroyed." Sailor Saturn looked up at the illusions in front of us and a sad glaze crept over her eyes. "I rarely left Titan Castle."
"I still don't think it was right for Queen Serenity to hold you there, you were her prisoner," I said to her.
"Queen Serenity took care of me. She even came to visit. They took care of me...though I did get lonely sometimes," Saturn answered sadly.
I could relate, I thought before Sailor Pluto crept towards us. "It's safe. Come on." The transparent images of nobles dancing on the lake were oblivious to our existence. The Crystal Gates of the illusionary Palace were closed when we passed the icy lake and the frozen fountains. I channeled dark magic to my hands and pressed against the gate, but I could not burn through them.
"The door seems to have some kind of refractive coating," commented Luna.
"Wish we still had Luna Ball," I said.
"Why?" asked Sailor Saturn.
"I..." Wait...why had I said that? "I...don't know. In the past, I kept hearing a voice that gave me hints about the future and said things that didn't make sense. He mentioned Rini's name, even though I didn't know who she was at the time. It's like he was talking again."
"Logan," realized Sailor Saturn.
"Yeah," I admitted.
"Let's keep the fact that you heard a voice in your head within the group, OK Logan?" advised Luna.
I nodded. "Hearing voices in your head wasn't a good sign a thousand years ago, either."
Pluto turned our attention back towards the gate and raised her rod in the air. "We don't have time for subtlety. Pluto Deadly Scream!" Sailor Pluto's attack dented the gates enough for me to push it down. There were still transparent nobles hanging around the halls, dressed in gowns and dinner jackets like they were going to a nightly ball.
"Stay focused, there might be Shadows hiding among the illusions!" warned Luna before she was interrupted by the sound of Amethyst's shrieking laugh.
"Show yourself!" Sailor Pluto demanded. All of our heads darted around the halls for any sign of her.
"Nuh-uh!" taunted Amethyst's voice. "Your friends haven't finished their stroll down memory lane yet! Wanna take a guess where it ends, Charon?"
Sailor Saturn and I exchanged a tense and fearful glance. We both knew the answer: Titan Castle.
"Amethyst, this is between you and me! Leave the Sailor Scouts out of this!" I demanded.
Amethyst cackled again. "Sheltering them from the truth, just like Queen Serenity. Look where it got them!" Amethyst dropped from the ceiling and nearly struck Saturn from behind before I pushed her out of the way. Sailor Pluto swung her Garnet Rod and struck Amethyst in the head, causing her to recoil backwards. We noticed the mirages of the nobles flicker in and out of existence.
Sailor Saturn spun around and pointed her weapon - the Silent Scythe - at Amethyst's neck. Amethyst teleported away and tried to fire a dark magic bolt at us, but Sailor Saturn reacted quickly. She spun her scythe in Amethyst's direction and held it horizontally, yelling "Saturn Silence Shield!" Amethyst's projectile bounced off of Saturn's barrier. I teleported away and struck Amethyst with a close-range dark energy blast...but was pushed away by a flash of white light.
"Charon!" Sailor Saturn shouted as I flew several feet into the air and slammed into one of the pillars. Electricity surged through my body, numbing my hands and feet.
I sensed Amethyst stumbling over to me as I lay face-down on the ground. "Now you know...what happens...when you attack Sailor...Scouts!" Amethyst mocked me even as she coughed through her words. She abruptly turned when Sailor Saturn screamed and stabbed Amethyst in the flank with the Silent Scythe. "AAARRGGHH!" she cried and stumbled away from me.
Amethyst backed away from Sailor Saturn with blood dripping from her wound at an increasing rate. Saturn stood over me with her weapon pointed at Amethyst's chest. Her determined purple eyes dared the fallen Scout to attack again.
Amethyst smirked at me. "The girl is loyal to you, Charon. I wonder if the others would do the same once they see what you truly are!"
"Charon's attack still hurt you!" shouted Sailor Pluto. Amethyst snarled at her through gritted teeth.
The mirages flickered again. "I know you have to recharge that compact of yours. I bet it's nearly out of energy," I taunted.
"We'll just have to cut to the chase!" When Amethyst held up the compact and opened it, our surroundings changed from the white marble appearance of the Moon Palace to the crystalline, dark purple walls of Charon Castle. By the time we turned our eyes back to Amethyst, she had disappeared.
"I know what you're planning to do to Earth! You feared that my powers would make me as evil as Queen Beryl, but you are on the same path!" From the end of the hall, I heard my own voice shouting back at Queen Serenity...the moment that I confronted her at Titan Castle was repeating Outer Scouts and I found ourselves stuck on the upper balcony with another one of Amethyst's transparent barriers blocking us.
The Inner Scouts, Mini Moon, Artemis and Tuxedo Mask stood below with their backs turned to us...with mirror images of myself and Queen Serenity standing in front of them. "Sailor Moon! We're up here!" I shouted and banged against the barrier. The others did not flinch as the illusion of Queen Serenity fired a beam of white light at mine with the moon wand.
"If you can't bear to watch me or Saturn die, then how can you condemn millions of people on Earth to the same fate?" my past self told Queen Serenity.
"They can't hear us from their side!" Sailor Saturn thrust the pointed end of her glaive into Amethyst's barrier, causing it to shimmer without giving way. I tried pressing down on the barrier with dark magic, but my energy dispersed and crackled across the entire shield. Pluto thrust the opposite end of her Garnet Rod into the shield, but she and Luna had their eyes glued to the scene occurring below us.
"You confirmed that Earth was already lost...and the Moon is next," Queen Serenity answered back. "We will save the Moon Kingdom and Earth can begin anew, but rebirth cannot happen without death," answered Queen Serenity.
"Amethyst cut out so much of our conversation," I realized. Sailor Saturn nodded. "She's vilifying Queen Serenity! We had to get in there!"
"Mother, please listen to him!" we heard Sailor Moon screaming as Saturn and I desperately pounded against the crystal wall blocking us from all of them.
"This is a memory! She can't hear you, Serena!" Sailor Mars realized what was going on.
"Not everyone on Earth is in Beryl's army! There are still good people there. Your daughter would inherit a throne stained with the blood of millions!" My past self argued with Queen Serenity as I pressed down on the shield again channeling all the dark magic I could.
"I knew you wouldn't understand." Queen Serenity's image dropped the Silver Crystal into her crescent moon wand and held it towards my apparition.
"Mother, no!" screamed Sailor Moon.
"The shield is weakening!" exclaimed Sailor Saturn as she thrust her scythe into the area I had been channeling my energy. I could see the barrier starting to crack...
"Moon Cleansing Absolution!" We were too late...Queen Serenity had uttered the words that had sealed my fate.
"Look away!" Pluto and Luna could barely hear me as I choked on words. Sailor Saturn buried her head in my chest and hugged me with her left arm: neither of us wanted to witness my death again. Chills ran down my spine when the scream of Princess Saturn in the past was joined by the frantic screams of the Sailor Scouts in the present day.
Sailor Pluto gagged as if she were about to throw up. She was covering her mouth when I opened my eyes. If she had foreseen this...she was doing a good job at acting as if she hadn't.
"This didn't...this never...my mother...no..." Sailor Moon sat on the ground and stared blankly where our apparitions had just shimmered away. I heard some of the Scouts crying my name, paralyzed with horror over what they just saw. Sailor Venus was kneeling on the ground with her hands covering her mouth, with Artemis sitting right next to her. Tuxedo Mask was holding Sailor Mini Moon in an embrace...but he was shaking as much as she was.
"There has to be an explanation. There HAS to be," whimpered Mercury.
"What possible explanation is there?!" cried Jupiter. "Queen Serenity murdered our friend!"
"He wanted to stay with us," Mars crossed her arms and looked at the floor. "Mercury and I heard...but he never...got to..." her voice trailed off and she looked between Serena and Mina as they remained on the ground.
"Such terrible things never would have crossed Queen Serenity's mind..." Luna's eyes filled with tears as she slowly turned her head up towards me. "Ordering the destruction of Earth...killing you...what horrible lies!"
"She didn't mean to kill me. It was an accident, " I told her. Saturn lifted her head away from my chest.
Luna's mouth hung open in disbelief. "You are not saying...no! NO! "
"She realized that she made a mistake! She never meant for any of this to happen!" I tried to explain. But like Serena, Luna was in complete denial.
"Queen Serenity shared EVERYTHING with me and Artemis! EVERYTHING, CHARON!" Luna shouted. "She never told us about any of this because she never even considered it!"
No she didn't, I thought...but I dared not say it.
"I was there, Luna," Saturn gently told her. "I'm sorry, but even though there was more to the story...this really happened." Luna hung her head and began sobbing. Sailor Saturn faced me as I watched Luna. "There was nothing we could have said to prepare them for this," Saturn gently assured me.
Sailor Pluto put a hand on my shoulder. "Charon, we shouldn't keep the others waiting," Any animosity she might have held between me or Logan had disappeared from her eyes. She almost looked glad I was standing in front of her right now. With Pluto and Saturn's help, I finally broke through the crystal prism and jumped down.
Relief spread over Mercury and Jupiter's faces when they saw me. Tuxedo Mask also saw and whispered to Mini Moon: "Charon and Hotaru are here. They're alright."
Sailor Mini flew out of Tuxedo Mask's arms and embraced me. "I'm glad you're both here! I can't believe grandma did that to you!"
"She couldn't have, Rini! I know she didn't!" assured Darien. Sailor Mars wrapped an arm around Sailor Venus and helped lift her off the floor. When Venus looked at me, I saw streaks of makeup on her face where she had buried her head in her hands and cried.
"Amethyst didn't tell you the whole story!" I blurted out as everyone's eyes bombarded me with questions. But every sign of relief faded from the Sailor Scouts' faces. Even Sailor Moon, who looked so happy to see me a moment ago, now gave me a cold stare.
"None of it was true, Logan. My mother wasn't like that," Serena insisted...almost to the point where she was threatening me.
I took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy... "Those parts did happen. Queen Serenity ordered Sailor Saturn to destroy Earth. I went to Titan Castle to stop her - "
"She never ordered the destruction of Earth, Charon!" Artemis cut me off.
"You misunderstood! My mother would never have done that!" shouted Serena.
"I'm sorry you all had to find out like this. I should have told you sooner. I thought there would be a better time..." Serena's mouth hung wide open when I said that, like she didn't believe it just happened.
"That's right, Charon! Fill in the blanks for them!" Amethyst's voice sneered from the distance. Only then did I realize. She wanted me to confess to the Sailor Scouts all along...on her terms. I had been tricked...again.
"Damn you, Amethyst!" I cursed her.
"Amethyst is vulnerable! Come with me, Saturn!" said Sailor Pluto. The Outer Scouts ran for the stairs leading up to the other side of the throne room. Sailor Moon grabbed my arm and dragged me back towards her when I turned in their direction.
"You're not going anywhere until you tell us the truth!" demanded Sailor Moon. Everyone else stopped in their tracks.
"Let's get Amethyst! We can talk about this later!" Sailor Jupiter said. But Serena held my arm in a firm grip.
"Just how were you planning to stop my mother and Sailor Saturn?" Serena's ice-blue eyes bore holes into mine.
There was no avoiding it. I could lie...but even if Amethyst didn't show them the truth on her own, they would see through it eventually.
"I couldn't let her destroy Earth," was all I could say.
Sailor Moon let go of my arm and the others now stared at me in horror. "You weren't going to...attack her, right?" Mini Moon asked as she backed away from me.
"Of course he attacked her! He wanted to kill her!" bellowed Amethyst.
"Why are you all just standing there?! Cover the other side of the Palace!" shouted Sailor Pluto from the upper level.
"I couldn't kill her! Even if she had the power to destroy Earth, I just couldn't!" I pleaded with the others, but they remained fixed in place. Venus and Mini Moon were the only ones looking around the room; everyone else had their eyes laser-focused on me.
"There's one more detail he left out!" Amethyst bellowed. Two mirror images of myself and the Spymaster appeared behind Serena. Swear words that never existed during the Silver Millennium ran through my mind as everyone else finally looked away from me to stare at the transparent figures...
"Queen Serenity told Serena that her father was an adventurer," my mirror image asked the Spymaster's. "I see the way that you look at Queen Serenity. You're Princess Serenity's true father, aren't you? You thought that if you helped her, she would take you back and let you see your daughter?"
"I hoped...just like you. But clearly she has no intention of honoring her promise," the Spymaster explained. Serena's mouth fell open and she stared at me as if I had just punched her in the face. Even though I had known Princess Serenity and Sailor Moon for a short time, I could never picture them looking angry before. That changed when the images disappeared. Unlike when she was watching the recreation of my death, her body was completely straight.
Serena leaned towards me with her hands balled into fists. "Is that true, too?! You knew ever since you woke up at the hospital and you never told me?!" she screamed.
"I was waiting for the right - " I tried to answer.
"You're worse than the other Shadows, Logan!" she screamed.
"Serena, you don't mean that..." Venus held an open hand toward Serena.
"YES I DO!" Serena snapped and pointed a menacing finger at me. "HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!"
"Amethyst got away!" Sailor Pluto shouted at us from the upper balcony. She might have snapped her Garnet Rod if she squeezed it any harder. "Her blood trail stopped! If you had covered your side of the Palace, she wouldn't have been able to escape!"
Sailor Moon turned to snap at me when Pluto pushed herself away from the balcony and disappeared from sight. "This is all your fault, Charon!" she screamed again.
"No it's not! The rest of us should have helped Sailor Pluto!" Sailor Venus looked like she was ready to cry again.
"You ALL should have helped Sailor Pluto!" chastised Artemis.
But Sailor Moon would not relent. "You tried to kill Sailor Saturn, you kept the truth from me, AND you picked the worst possible time to start this argument!"
"You're the only one yelling, Serena!" Venus pointed out.
"You always take his side, no matter what he does! It's scary!" Sailor Mars yelled at Venus.
"Please, stop fighting you guys!" pleaded Sailor Mini Moon, but now the three of them were shouting over each other.
"Look what you've done, Charon!" Jupiter was glaring at me now. She was in on the fight, too.
"Is there anything else you want to confess, Logan or Charon or whoever you are?" Serena stood an inch from my face and started bombarding me with questions without giving me any time to answer. "What other secrets are you hiding from me? Next, you're going to tell me that Queen Beryl was my sister, right?" Meanwhile, Venus and Mars had erupted into a full-fledged argument of their own:
"You were there, Raye! You know he was protecting us!" insisted Sailor Venus.
"So he said!" dismissed Sailor Mars. "But maybe he saw the other Shadows controlling minds and wanted to give it a try!"
"How dare you!" Sailor Venus snapped. "You said you were trying to be his friend but you keep throwing the bus under him for helping us!"
"Mina - " interrupted Artemis.
"I'M TOO ANGRY TO CORRECT MYSELF!" she yelled back at him.
"I wasn't going to - " Artemis was cut off as the two of them went at it again. Rini looked helplessly back and forth in between the arguing sides with eyes full of tears.
"And I know you're talking about me behind my back, just like when you told Sailor Mercury that I failed university after I asked you not to!" Serena bellowed at me.
"I figured it out on my own and asked him! He told me because he was worried about you, Serena!" Mercury cut in. But Serena paid no attention to Amy or anyone else. Her words seemed to blend together into one high-pitched scream, all directed towards me...
I remembered Logan...me...with Serena in the diner...talking about all her problems in Raye's temple. The memories...the jagged pieces that didn't fit...they were coming together...at least, the parts with Serena were.
"Are you alright?" Sailor Mercury put a hand on my shoulder and turned me towards her when she saw me close my eyes and cringe.
"So you're keeping secrets from us too, Amy? It's like you and Mina have your own team with him!" Jupiter dragged Mercury back into the argument.
"I'm not ganging up on him for trying to spare our feelings! If you want to get mad at me for not telling the rest of you, go ahead Lita!" shouted Mercury.
"What is going on?!" demanded Sailor Pluto when she and Saturn rejoined us.
"Serena? SERENA? I was there when..." Sailor Saturn tried to tell them that she also knew who Serena's father was, but she grew quiet as her words were drowned out yet again.
"THIS is why you couldn't beat the Spymaster! You're bickering like you're still in junior high!" yelled Sailor Pluto.
"Hotaru's trying to talk to you, Serena," Tuxedo Mask put a hand on Sailor Moon's shoulder. Even through the mask, I could see he was also in distress, but he was desperately trying to maintain a sense of inner calm. "Please, take a breath and - "
Serena took one quick breath and then shouted, "How could you even think about hurting a child, Charon? Just how far WOULD you have gone?!"
"YOU WANT TO JUDGE ME?! AT LEAST QUEEN SERENITY NEVER RAN AWAY FROM HER PROBLEMS!" I finally screamed back at Sailor Moon after she had been yelling at me nonstop. Sailor Moon leaned back and stared at me in shock as all side conversations ground to an immediate halt. I didn't entirely understand what I was saying, but the words just flew out...
"YOUR FRIENDS NEVER LEFT YOU BEHIND, YOU PUSHED THEM AWAY! THEY WOULD HAVE DROPPED EVERYTHING THE MOMENT YOU ASKED FOR HELP! INSTEAD YOU QUIT SCHOOL, WASTED YOUR PARENTS' MONEY AND HID IN THE BASEMENT OF SOME CRAPPY RESTAURANT BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T FACE THEM!"
"Please Charon, that's enough!" Tuxedo Mask tried to cut me off, but I wasn't finished. The room had become so quiet, I could hear everyone else's mouths drop open. Serena turned her eyes away from me and shuddered with each breath she took.
"NO SANE PERSON WOULD WANT YOU AS THEIR QUEEN, SERENA! YOU'RE A TWO-YEAR-OLD TRAPPED IN THE BODY OF A TWENTY-YEAR-OLD! THE MOMENT YOU HAVE TO FACE ANYTHING BY YOURSELF, YOU JUST RUN AWAY!" I shouted at her.
Serena's eyelids rapidly fluttered to hold back tears. "Sounds like Logan's back," she choked. "Did you always hate me that much?" she asked. She turned her back on me and started crying...
To Be Continued
A/N: This was (hopefully) an intense chapter! The trust issues had been bubbling under the surface and it seems they finally exploded! I had intended for this to be the final battle with Amethyst, but she turned into such an interesting villain I wanted to keep her around a bit longer and flesh out her backstory. A very special thank you goes to Lisseas: your feedback on the argument scene was a HUGE help!
There were a few parts I had to cut out because this chapter was getting long. I wanted to show their reactions to their individual memories with Charon, including the ball scene, but that is something we can tackle through dialogue in future chapters.I had the conclusion of the argument written out but I had to cut it short because this chapter was growing long.
My new job starts tomorrow! I will have a lot less free time, but I will try to get the next chapter out by the end of next week! Thanks for reading!