Chapter 38

Gwen stared up at the house as Merle finished securing the bed in the back of the truck. He had shown her where he hid the weapons and medicine under the floorboard. She still couldn't get over the fact that he did seem willing to leave Woodbury….at least someday. Gwen knew there was no better option at the moment but having the house being walker free again and knowing it was there as a refuge if they needed it was somehow comforting.

Merle slipped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

"Ya ready to go?" He asked.

"Not really….but I guess we should." She turned her head towards him and smiled. They both started to walk back to the truck as Merle slapped her ass hard causing her to jump.

"Dammit Merle!" She fussed at him as she tried to look angry and not smile but a slight smirk still crept on her face.

Merle just laughed devilishly as he climbed into the truck and they started to head on their way to Woodbury. It felt strange leaving again. Things had changed so much since she last left. She couldn't help but remember how hopeless she felt the last time, not knowing where she was going or if she could survive. She never dreamed that Merle would've found her but she was thankful he did. She thought back to when she had first found him in the pharmacy. His wrist a bloodied stump and how she almost left him behind. How would things have turned out if she had? Would she still even be alive at that moment...would Merle?

"What's got you so quiet?" Merle asked.

Gwen looked over at Merle and smiled. "Nothing…..just thinking about things….you know….you never really talk about your brother….Daryl right?"

Merle cut his eyes at her but kept his head straight ahead. "Why ya askin' 'bout him?"

"Just curious….do you think he's still alive after all this time?" She asked.

Merle paused for a moment then cleared his throat. "He's a Dixon ain't he?"

Merle started to squirm slightly and kept his eyes on the road. He didn't want to talk about Daryl with her. He had enough feelings of guilt for not finding him, he knew talking about him would just make it worse.

"Why don't you want to talk about him?...I know he means a lot to you…" Gwen asked.

"Cause I don't alright? There ain't nothin' to say….he was with me and now he ain't…..I ain't gonna sit here and get all weepy 'bout it..." Merle snapped.

Gwen took that as her cue to stop. She could see Merle was getting agitated and just saying more would make things worse. The rest of the trip back to Woodbury they both remained silent.

.

Merle and Gwen managed to get the bed upstairs into the apartment and reassembled. Gwen plopped herself on her back across the width of the bed, tired from the move. Merle walked into the kitchen and pulled the liquor bottle out of the cabinet and pulled himself a drink.

"Go easy on that stuff Merle….you know how the Governor keeps tabs on how much liquor is here. He wants to make sure there's always enough to go around. " Gwen remarked.

Merle gulped down the shot then poured himself another. "Fuck 'em"

"Merle come on…I'm serious….you know there not but so much alcohol here…Governor wants a two drink limit a night….at least until y'all scavenge for more….he wants me to reopen the bar tomorrow night so people can start socializing again….. I'd have a lot to explain if suddenly it's all dried up.

"Two drink limit is bullshit…..ain't that part of the benefit of fuckin' the bar maid? I get as much alcohol as I want?" Merle snapped at her again.

Gwen sat up on the bed and glared at Merle. She got up and walked into the kitchen area and grabbed the bottle from the counter and turned to head down the stairs.

"Darlene let me have as much as I wanted..." He quipped. The truth was Darlene hadn't...she applied the same rules that Gwen was trying to. The Governor saw the bar as a place for people to help things stay "normal". Money was useless at this point. There was no beer or alcohol suppliers left. The alcohol they had was alcohol rounded up from homes, from places they scavenged and from time to time, moonshine from one of the locals. There had to be a limit or they would very quickly run out and that was one thing the Governor didn't want to happen. He knew his remark would piss off Gwen if she wasn't pissed already. He didn't know why he was trying to pick a fight with her but he just couldn't seem to stop himself.

Gwen looked back over her shoulder at him. "Are you serious Merle? Are you really going to go there with me?"

"What?...Can't handle me all of a sudden..." Merle laughed a little but started in again. "Ya gonna start begin stingy on me now? What's next? Ya ain't gonna put out no more...maybe I did pick the wrong woman..."

Merle could easily see the hurt on Gwen's face as she stood there, pale faced and silent. He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth but he knew he couldn't unsay them. He just stood there, leaning against the counter and waited for her to go off on him.

Gwen just shook her head and headed downstairs with the bottle. Merle headed over to the bed and sat down. I don't even know why I said that... he thought to himself. The fact that she didn't yell at him bothered him even more than if she had. Cause yer a God damn asshole...that's why... Merle got up, grabbed his jacket and headed downstairs. Gwen was behind the bar when he walked down but he didn't say another word to her, he just left.

As soon as he left, Gwen couldn't help but burst into tears. She sat on the floor behind the bar and just cried. Merle had been harsh and cruel with her and she didn't understand what on earth had just happened. She thought things were going well between them, it was the one thing she didn't worry about. Gwen replayed the days events in her head and suddenly realized...Daryl... It was the only thing out of the ordinary she mentioned.

Suddenly, someone banging on the counter startled her. She wiped the tears from her face and stood up. Lincoln was at the other end of the bar sitting on one of the stools.

"Lincoln...I didn't hear you come in..." Gwen remarked as she walked down to greet him.

"Sorry...did I startle ya?" He asked.

"It's fine...but Merle isn't here..." She told him.

"I ain't lookin' for Merle...how's 'bout a drink barkeep?" Lincoln asked.

"The Governor said for me not to open the bar until tomorrow...I put a sign on the door earlier..." She told him as she pointed towards the front of the bar.

"Come on...ya can bend the rules a little...I had a hard day..." Lincoln told her.

"If I give you a drink tonight you can only have one tomorrow..." Gwen told him.

"That works for me...ain't got no preference...just give me whatever" He replied.

Gwen reached behind the bar and grabbed the open bottle Merle had already gotten into and poured him a shot. to her surprise he just sat there and stared at it for a moment. He started to pick it up but instead just turned the glass slowly in a circle on the bar.

"Ya know...Darlene was a good woman...maybe to you she ain't but she was..." He remarked as he stared at his glass.

For fuck's sake...I really don't need this right now. Gwen thought to herself but she just stood there and listened.

"She only had eyes for Merle though...don't know why...he did nothin' but treat her like shit...is that how he treats you?" Lincoln asked as he finally picked up the glass and waved it gently under his nose as he breathed in deeply...stll waiting to drink it.

"He treats me just fine..." Gwen replied coldly. She didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Yep...only had eyes for Merle...I thought for sure once he moved on with you she might give someone else a shot but nope...still Merle...only Merle...and now look where that got her..." He gulped down the shot and slammed the glass back onto the bar so hard Gwen was shocked it didn't break. He cut his eyes up at her and motioned for her to come closer.

Gwen just stared wide eyed and silent at him.

"Come 'ere..." He said gently as he motioned for her to lean forward. "Come on..." Lincoln looked from side to side as if he was making sure they were alone. "I ain't gonna bite...gotta tell ya somethin' " He whispered.

Hestitantly Gwen leaned forward on the bar, resting her arms on the counter as she took a deep breath.

Before she even had time to react, Lincoln grabbed both of her wrists pulling her hard against the bar. He pinned her arms at the wrist down with one hand, reached up and grabbed the back of her hair and yanked hard as he held his grip. He leaned his face in so close to hers,they were almost touching. The strong smell of whiskey on his breath as he began to speak harshly.

"Seems to me the only person that benefitted from Darlene leaving was you...kinda suspicious if ya ask me cause I know she ain't got no kin folk in Savannah...common mistake considerin' that's where she came from before returning to Woodbury...don't care if that's the story the Gov is givin' or not... I done known her my whole life so I know...and I know you had somethin' to do with her disappearin'...why the Gov is coverin' fer ya I don't know but believe you me...I'm gonna find out what ya did with her...and one of these days yer gonna be real sorry..." Lincoln shoved her away as he released her. He got up off his stool and started back towards the door.

"I don't know what you think but I had nothing to do with her leaving Linc...but you put your hands on me like that again and you're the one that's gonna be sorry." Gwen barked at him the whole time fearing her voice would crack but it didn't.

Lincoln just waved his hand in the air but didn't turn back. Once he was gone, Gwen poured herself a stiff one and drank it down. Her whole body was shaking. She wanted to lock the door but didn't think Merle had taken his key. Quickly she ran upstairs and looked on the counter and saw both sets of keys still there.

"Dammit..." As much as Merle had pissed her off, all she wanted was for him to be there with her at that moment...asshole or not...he made her feel safe and the run in with Lincoln had shook her. She stared to turn to head back downstairs and saw a figure standing in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. Gwen felt like she jumped completely out of her own skin as she gasped, grabbing hold of her chest. Quickly she realized it was Merle but the shock of it made her legs feel as if they would give out on her and she dropped to her knees on the floor.

Merle rushed towards her and knelt down next to her. "Gwennie...what's wrong?" He asked concerned as he reached for her.

Gwen just shook her head and took a deep breath. She blew it out hard and took another deep breath before she spoke. "Is the door downstairs locked?"

"Yeah...locked it when I came back in...what's wrong with ya? Ya sick?" Merle asked still not understanding what was happening with her. Suddenly he remembered passing Lincoln on his way back in. His eyes widened and he could feel the anger building up inside him. "Was Lincoln in here? Did he do something?"

"No..." Gwen stated as she slowly rose to her feet with Merle standing with her. "I'm fine...you just startled me."

Merle just looked at her almost as if he was waiting for her to say more but when she didn't he finally spoke. "That fucker made a smart ass comment to me before...if he says somethin' to ya...ya best tell me cause I'll teach him a thing or too about..."

Gwen quickly interupted Merle before he could finish speaking. "Merle stop...it's fine...nothing happened...Lincoln came in for a drink...had one and left...the last thing I need is you running around pickin' fights with everyone..." The truth was Gwen knew how hot headed Merle could be and he had already picked a fight with her. If the Governor got fed up with Darlene's bickering she could only imagine the danger Merle could get himself into.

Merle cleared his throat and began to speak. " 'bout what I said before...you know... it ain't true...right?" He said almost as if he was embarrassed to speak.

Gwen smiled softly and just nodded her head. She knew that was as close to an apology as she was going to get and she was ok with it. As much as he had pissed her off initially, Lincoln had scared her more. At least with Merle there she knew she was safe.