Friday morning, it should be a good day but there are three different teams setting things up for the party tomorrow and I have to keep Christian away from here, keep Leia entertained, take the dogs to their trainers who will have them for the weekend, go to GEH to finalize paperwork, and remember to eat. It feels like this is supposed to be a Monday, not the day leading into the weekend.

"Ana?" Leia rubs the sleep out of her eyes.

"Yes Bug?" I set her breakfast down in front of her. "You sleep okay?"

"Yep, and I stayed in my room all night, but why did Elliot walk by outside with things sticking out of his hair?"

"Because Elliot is a man-child and doesn't grow up so he likes to play in the dirt."

She nods her head, considering what I just said and eats her food. I've eaten, showered, dressed and am waiting for Sawyer to show up with other security so I can leave my property and not worry about the strangers running about. I run up and pick her clothes today: jean shorts, grey tee shirt, black jumper, and black converse. I'm trying to look a little professional and am wearing a navy sundress with white accents and will put heels on when we go to leave. I pull on a trench coat so I can load the dogs into the truck, Elliot is babysitting while I run up the road and back. Up until today I didn't feel like I bit off more than I could chew, now I feel like I'm running around with no head.

When I run back into the house I slip on nude pumps and grab my purse and Leia's backpack of distractions and school in case I'm meeting with someone longer then I'd like.

"Come on Bug, we're running late," I shout.

"Coming! Can I bring an apple?" She shouts back.

I run into the kitchen to see her trying to monkey her way up onto the counter, one look and she stops what she's doing and climbs down. I grab and apple and banana because she will most likely change her mind later, and then shoo her out to the car. When she's for sure buckled I race to the ferry hoping that we will make it on time because today is not the day to run behind a lot. Leia knows that she can't tell Christian what is happening at our house, let's just hope that she can keep this secret.

Rising up in the elevator to the top floor Leia is fine, eating her apple and counting the numbers of the floors as we pass them all. She goes right to Andrea as we get off on the floor, Leia finds the realm of being a secretary truly interesting.

"I'll be in Christian's office, Bug. Don't distract Andrea too much," I mess up her hair a bit. "Think of what you want for lunch."

"Okay!"

I walk into his office while he's on the phone, and go to sit on his lap and curl up in it. I got in a weird state of mind last night and I have been waiting to just have him hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I need for everything to be alright. When he hangs up he holds me close and holds me tight, and calls to Andrea to ask her to keep Leia occupied for a but until he calls her. I want to scold him and tell him that it is not the time for sex but I know that, that is not where his mind is.

"What's up Blue?" He hums.

"I miss that we never had the contract," I mumble. "I want it, need it. I needed it then and you bunked out, I want it now but now everything feels so messing and long past."

"You were so fragile when I offered that to you, I figured that it was a bad idea then."

"Now, Christian. Please, I want and need it. I know BDSM I've done it, I understand it and I am asking. I trust you to know me and I know you do, I'm falling apart and it's been hardly any time since all control was given back to me."

"We need to have a sit down, serious talk and negotiation over this," He sighs.

"I need you to just make all of it stop, make me feel safe and structured and I know that with the contract I can have that, we both can have that."

"Is this for me?"

"No, actually you didn't come to mind with any of this other than to be the one to control me. I need this and I need it with you, but if you can't I feel like I will still need it."

"Doesn't sound like I have much of a choice."

"I need it to be you, but I'll live with whatever choice you make and not leave you again. I can't survive that again."

"I can print off a copy for you to have and review and if you're absolutely sure I want the signed copy of it Monday."

"Yes Sir," I smile. "I like it when you hold me like this."

"Well that's good because I like holding you like this."

We decide to go to a deli down the street for lunch before I have to meet with Ros, Christian and most of the other executives who head their own departments. I don't know what I have gotten myself into yet but I guess I am going to find out soon.

I've been avoiding all calls from Carrick this week, even though I know I'll see him tomorrow. They are ready to press for the trial, they have dates set up and they want to get testimonies and names for the others who were in the house with me. They keep leaving me messages and I listen to them but I haven't answered because with the party, Leia, and my own mind it was already too much.

I meet with Ros and am introduced to the other executives who all size me up before Christian pulls me into a different conference room where Carrick is sitting with Leia and they're both colouring on blank sheets of paper.

"We need to talk," Carrick says.

"Fine," I roll my eyes. "Leia, baby can you go colour with Andrea or Ros for a bit?"

"Okay," She collects her stuff. "I'll play with Ros, she needs more colour in her office."

Leia skips out of the room while Christian and I sit down by him, Christian takes my hand under the table. He pulls some colour free files out of his briefcase and sets them on the table. None of us want to be here in this room right now, that much is obvious. We're not prepared for this, I don't want this to happen right before his birthday.

"As we suspected they're both pleading not guilty, but when you get me the journal and we access your medical records we can prove that they're liars," He cuts right too it.

"It means Ana will have to testify?" Christian asks.

"Yes it does, unless we can get them to change them into claiming they're guilty."

"Which is highly unlikely and I don't want to drag this on," I say.

They talk about what needs to happen and everything I will have to do when the trial comes to the nitty gritty. How I'll be called up to the stand and cross examined in front of both Bennett and Stephanie while they look at me and get into my head again. Fuck, I need a drink.

I excuse myself and run to his office and lock the door behind me, a futile effort since I know that he has a key and so does Taylor but I feel safe with it locked. I go to his filing cabinet and look through the bottom drawer where he keeps some of his hard liquors. I find a bottle of Hendricks and unscrew the cap before bringing it to my lips, letting the liquid run down my throat. I don't care if this is a mistake right now, if this puts me off from where I was. Having them calmly discuss what I have to do and what I'll go through I can't get any of it out of my head, the look and the voices are so much this time.

"Come on Elena, the least you can let me teach the brat is how to blow and want a guy off properly," Bennett sneers.

"Do you think she's earned that?" Elena asks.

I watch their feet pace around in front of me and I put all my collective will power into not looking up at them or yelling back at them. I want to scream, the bite her finger every time she runs her claws across my face. I want to kick and fight them all but I can't, then I would have no where to go and no one in my life and I'd be just as lost and broken as I was before all of this started.

I take the bottle with me to his pristine white couches and get comfortable as Christian frantically bangs and shouts on the other side of the door. I take some more swigs of the fancy gin while he makes a fool of himself in his own building. How does he not get that shouting my name does nothing for me right now, it won't make me move or let him into his office. I can't. I just drink more, gulping more down.

She keeps nudging/poking at me with her horrendous black leather boots, making sure she gets me with the pointed tow each time. Bennett stands back, watching her and waiting for me to react. They're both trying to break me again, but I won't… not tonight. No matter how much my self control drains and the drive to snap back grows.

"Go bend over the bench," She demands. "And don't cover yourself this time."

I get up off the ground and bend over the bench, making sure that I walk over to the bench where they beat me with my hands not covering my bare chest. He watches me, drinks my naked body in since he can see everything through the not there thong she makes me wear in here. They cover nothing.

"Good Girl," She goads me on. "It appears you can be obedient and can do something right. I was starting to believe you were a lost cause. Now lets see if your pain tolerance has grown in the past three days."

I grip the top of the bench, my knuckles turning right from the pressure and strength I am putting into this. I feel the bit of the cane tear into my skin twenty seven times, enough to have broken skin and allow the blood to seep out and down my back. I want to cry but I can't, if I cry she will just hit me more. I get back down on my knees when she steps back, and let her stand over me.

"One day you'll burn in hell and I'll through a party," I spit on her shoes.

"Bennett," She screeches. "Show this cunt her place, I don't care what you do just make sure she knows not to speak that way to me every again. Just don't take her virginity, it's worth too much to me."

"Of course Elena, my pleasure," He smiles.

He grabs my hair and pulls me up onto the bench, forcing me to bend over as he beats my already open wounds with a cat. After too many hits that I lost count he throws me to the ground and throws multiple kicks and punches, breaking my already broken body. I feel my cheek and ear crack, everything in my head bursts with overwhelming light and pain.

"Fuck, Bennett. This will be her second ER visit this month, what the hell were you both thinking?" Stephanie scolds through cotton. "I'll take her, I have an excuse ready."

They roughly tug clothes on over my limp body before forcing me to walk out to the car and tossing me in the backseat. I wake up as she is helping me walk into the Emergency Room as Washington General.

"Help! Someone help!" Stephanie fake cries and shouts, she sounds so distant. "I went to pick my foster daughter up and found her beaten by the bus stop! Please!"

Christian's arms wrap around me, the bottle is removed from my hand and the banging and screaming stops. He rocks me back and forth for five minutes before I can even tell I'm crying. I don't like going back there. I haven't been there in so long.

"I need Lucy, can you call Lucy?" I whimper.

"She's already on her way, and Ros is still distracting Leia. You should have talked to me, I could have helped stop this," He kisses my temple. "I love you."

"I was sixteen months sober," I mutter. "I fucked up."

"I still love you."

"I love you too, I never want to ruin us though."

"And you won't. Are you okay enough to bring Leia in?" I nod. "Okay, Taylor go get her and her backpack."

Leia runs in and hugs me, wiping the tears from my face and then settling on my lap. She looks between Christian and myself, back and forth confused and wavering on excitement and frustration.

"You know what I talked to you yesterday about?" He asks her.

"Yep, I have it in my bag," She smiles and whispers real loud. "Is now the time?"

"Yes it is, can I have it."

She takes he backpack and rummages through it. Well now my curiosity is peaked and I want to know what they talked about, and when. I thought I was always around both them yesterday and I clearly wasn't. She hands him small red box and all air leaves me. He gets down on one knee and I shift Leia onto one.

"I was going to do this on my birthday, but I don't want you to be scared of me leaving you anymore. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter if you fudge up or are scared. You, Anastasia Rose Steele, are the love of my life and I knew it the moment I saw you. We're both bringing rollercoasters to this relationship, but it's us forever," He proposes. "So, Anastasia, will you marry me?"

AN: So... Yes or No?

Goodnight everyone.

-Mouse