Chapter Thirty-Eight
Fucking Towels

Exam week is stressful enough all on it's own, so throw awkward tension into the household and it's only going to be ten times worse and a million times harder to study. I have no idea how I'm supposed to retain any information from my reading with Axel here being all...well, Axel-y. I'm trying to concentrate, I really am, so screw anyone who doesn't believe me. I've got my textbooks on the desk and my notes, I even have white out in my hand (though I don't know why I need it) but the sound of Axel singing happily in the shower is really distracting. My brain keeps veering off, and I end up thinking of things like, how wet and naked Axel is at this very moment, instead of thinking about these damn math formulas. I guess I'm not really to blame, I mean, what would you be thinking of if there was a hot man in your shower? Definitely not your algebra.

I groan and drop my head onto the desk, all the papers sticking to my forehead but I just don't want to lift my face and push them out of the way. This whole week is draining my life force. I never noticed how much the redhead bathes until, well, until I started paying attention. Axel has been in there for at least 40 minutes and I'm starting to wonder just how long he really needs. He's a twig, how much time can it take to clean off his body? Just as I'm about to turn towards the bathroom door and glare, I hear it click open and see Axel step out. Again, I should have taken the hamper downstairs Monday night, I should have done the laundry and put all the bigger, fluffier towels that can wrap around you ten times, from head to toe, back in the bathroom. I say this because the towel Axel has around his hips definitely shouldn't be used as a body towel. I can't pull my eyes away at first, so I just sit here staring at him, his long, wet hair sticking to his body in little red designs. He smiles at me when I look at his face and I swivel quickly in the chair, trying to make it seem like I wasn't molesting him with my eyes. I figure I should have turned a little slower, especially when my foot whacks into the desk and sends a horrible pain shooting up my leg. Real smooth Roxas, reeeeaaal smooth.

I hear Axel sigh and my body tingles, the fine hairs on the back of my neck standing. I don't know how I expect to go a month, when a simple little sigh makes me want to jump his bones. Just the fact that he is right behind me, in that tiny towel erases all other thoughts, good and bad. All my brain is thinking about right now, is how easy it would be to get him naked. I don't want to turn around and risk tenting up my pajamas, even when Axel clears his throat. I know if I see him now, there's a freaking good chance it'll happen. The mere thought of seeing him all squeaky clean and dripping wet makes me giddy and fills my stomach with butterflies. It doesn't help that my damn privates have gone crazy these last few days, jumping up whenever they see fit, without so much as a warning. It's a mutiny, I'm telling you.

It's why I've been awkwardly running away from Axel every time he steps into the shower, looks good enough to eat, or when he just so much as touches me. The worst part is, he isn't even touching me in a sexual way, we haven't even kissed since Monday morning. It's usually a casual brush when we're too close in the kitchen, or him rubbing my short hair. The worst time so far was his hand landing on my thigh. The warmth seeped right through my jeans and into my skin. I had no choice but to run away into my room. But you see what I mean? It's nothing to get all...excited about, yet my body does anyway. It's ridiculous and he seems to know all about it.

"Yah don't have to turn around. I ain't got nothin' to hide," Axel's voice carries a chuckle just underneath and I wonder bitterly what exactly about my situation is funny to him. Something tells me he knows a lot more about my awkwardness than he lets on. I actually haven't been too smooth about it at all, almost every single time I've run away out of no where, straight upstairs, I've made quite a ruckus. Not to mention I've stuttered and bit my tongue a few times too. These last few days, I've been a vision of grace and tact...hah.

It doesn't help that I've been extra excitable. I swear it feels like the rest of my brain is being pushed out of my skull by my ever growing libido. I personally blame it on these fucking dreams I keep having. They always start off so good, and I get so into it, but then something horrible happens and I'm left feeling so frustrated, so unsatisfied. Axel is always doing something in the garage in the dream, and we always end up making out and almost go beyond that, but I never make it. I never actually get to see what it'd look like to have Axel over me, actually having sex with me. No, the fucking stomach cramp comes before any of the good stuff and it happens all over again. I blame it this on Sora and his help guide. Ever since I read that thing, I'm slightly terrified of my asshole. Not to mention it spoke an almost unbelievable amount about pooping.

Though sometimes, and these are the worst and scariest, what wakes me up is Axel changing into my attacker. I'll open my eyes mid-make out and the green eyes are similar, but so different. I don't get the stomach cramp, instead it's this horrible nausea that makes bile rise up into the back of my throat. My eyes snap open and all I see is green. I can never scream though and usually just wake up, all sweaty and with a semi-hard on that's always uncomfortable to move around with. This shit is driving me crazy, I'm telling you. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to stand it.

"Put some clothes on and I'll think about turning around," Axel laughs loudly at this but doesn't say anything else and I think I'm safe. That is until I feel his finger tips gently slide along my jawline and the devil of a redhead walks right into my line of vision. He moves to stand in front of me (just close enough for me to reach out and touch if I wanted) with a wide smirk on his face. I'm doomed from here on out and I think we both know it. My eyes can't resist the temptation to take in Axel in all this freshly bathed glory. I soak in the sight of him, little water droplets rolling down his stomach, some stopping half way through, letting my eyes linger on his smooth skin. The tattoos look so natural along his torso, they almost seem like really awesome birth marks, all intricate designs and vivid colours. Staring at him is just great all over. And holy fuck that towel. I swear those things just keep getting shorter and shorter.

My brain, well, you can just imagine what's happening to it now. I can't stop picturing myself leaning over and licking away those stray drops of water, grabbing him by the hips and tracing over every single tattoo with my tongue, even the ones hidden behind the towel. I blink once, really hard to immediately banish that image from my head. With the way I'm thinking, it almost seems like I want to charm my freaking snake in front of Axel.

That short half of a second that I'm blinded is enough for Axel to grab my hands and place them on his hard stomach. My finger tips press into his warm skin just a little before I open my eyes and he's staring down at me. I resist the urge to shiver harshly, instead I examine his expression. The playfulness is almost completely covered up by another emotion. It's the same look he's been giving me since I ran away from him in the garage on Monday. With his hands still around my wrists, he controls me, he makes me softly touch his skin and I don't resist. Slowly, I stand off the chair but don't tug my hands away. Instead I step closer and Axel lets go of me, letting my hands continue their journey along his body on their own. I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to, my brain wouldn't let me at this point. Axel just feel so good under my hands, his skin so smooth yet firm, letting off a pleasant heat that seems to pull me in closer.

My hands reach his chest and I can feel his heart beating, a steady thumping right under my palm. My brain of course cannot ignore the fact that Axel's nipples are a few centimeters away from my fingers. I could easily just slide my hand down and touch one, but my train of perverted thought is stopped when Axel grabs the back of my head and crushes our mouths together. It's a rough, almost desperate kiss and right away, I'm out of breath. I feel Axel take a step forward and I stumble back in reaction. This keeps happening until he's got me pushed up against the foot of the bed and my only options are to throw myself back, or stay standing here awkwardly. So, I decide to lay myself back, only I don't want to stop kissing Axel so I wrap my arms around his shoulders and bring him down with me.

The redhead braces himself over me, disconnecting our mouths just long enough to breathe before coming back full force. I feel one of his hands slip under my shirt and slowly caress its way up to my chest, making my skin erupt with goosebumps. I know my heart is pounding so hard against my ribs that Axel can probably hear it, and I'm kind of embarrassed until I realize he's not feeling for my heart beat. I gasp into the kiss, when his thumb runs over my nipple, the rough skin brushing over my sensitive flesh, making me press myself into him a little more, my arms wrapping around him just a little tighter.

This sudden heat starts up right under my belly button and spreads all through my body. I want him to keep doing it, and for a split second I worry if he's a mind reader because he does it again as if he'd heard me. This time, when I gasp he pulls away from the kiss and moves his mouth down my neck, leaving a little trail of cooling spit. I try not to close my eyes, because I'm scared. Every time I close my eyes for too long, those flash backs attack me. I keep them open for as long as I can but every time Axel's fingers run over my chest, I want to shut them. Luckily, his hand slides away from my nipple but I tense when he doesn't pull it away. My heart picks up even more when his hand passes my stomach and the elastic of my pajamas. Axel's hot hand hesitates right over the slit in my boxers and I realize I've stopped breathing, my finger nails really digging into Axel's shoulders. I feel Axel pull away but I'm scared to look. This is how it happens in my dreams. One minute it's Axel, and when I open my eyes he's gone. I feel a giant knot tie itself in my throat and I can't swallow, I can barely breathe.

My closed eyes snap open and I want to scream when all I see is green. My heart stutters in my chest and I try to take a breath. All at once the memories of that night bombard me, blocking out Axel's face. All I can remember and feel is that man's tongue gliding across my skin and his hands on my front. I forget all together that Axel is the one over me, and not that man. My entire body feels cold and almost sticky and I want to throw up. Axel isn't touching me anymore, in fact he's already climbed off and is staring at me while I lay here hyperventilating. I sit up slowly, fighting off every single memory before I look at the redhead with tearful eyes but he just stares at me, worried and confused. It's Axel here with me, my brain keeps repeating.

The part that kills me, is seeing guilt on his face, as if he's done something wrong. "Sorry...I...well...shit," Axel furrows his eyebrows and I feel so awful about this I almost start to cry. I cover my face and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down and beat away those memories before I even try to speak. I have to remind myself that that guy isn't going to come back. It's just me and Axel.

When I pull my hands away from my face, Axel is leaning against the wall looking at me like he's sorry and I realize he's trying to put space between us. "Axel...I'm sorry...it's..." I try to take another deep breath, but it's so hard. "It's nothing you did," I swallow thickly when this just confuses the redhead even more and he takes a hesitant step towards me. I motion for him to come sit on the bed with me and he does, very slowly and a few inches away. I turn and try to keep my eyes on his face, this is a very serious moment. I can't just let myself get distracted by this gorgeous nakedness.

I clench my hands, and already I can feel them getting sweaty. I have no idea how I'm supposed to explain this to Axel. Should I tell him the truth or make up something? Though, I have no idea what I'd be able to make up that could explain my strange behavior. "I've been having these nightmares..." I decide to start it off like that, but realize I'm just trying to beat around the bush. I groan loudly and Axel puts his hand over mine as I clench it tightly into the sheets.

"Blondie, relax. Yah don't need to say anythin'. I get it," Axel smiles softly but I shake my head. How can he get it, when he doesn't even know. I let go of the sheet and turn my hand to grab his, he looks surprised when I lace our fingers together and to be honest, I'm a little surprised myself. Holding his hand though makes me feel so much better. I give it a little squeeze and right away, he returns the action with a chuckle. I look up right into his eyes and he holds my gaze, smiling softly. Seeing the warm, tender look in them calms my heart and my queasy stomach down and I feel like I can actually do this.

"If your not ready..." I cut Axel off right there because holy fucking shit. I am ready. I've been ready for a long time and if it hadn't been for that nasty molester, we could be going at it like rabbits right now. It's just somehow, those memories always make their way into the front of my mind whenever I have my eyes closed and it scares me every time. I always have to remind myself that it's over, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying.

"It's not that either..." I figure I have to tell Axel now, I wouldn't want him to think it's his fault I freaked out or anything. He didn't do anything wrong, it was my fault. I shouldn't have shut my eyes, but it's pretty hard to keep them open the whole time when he's touching me. The redhead stays quiet and I guess he's waiting for me to expand. I lick my lips and look away from him. I never realized this would be so hard to say. It's not like he raped me or anything, though having him touch me was pretty fucking disgusting. God, this is hard. "It's just...uhm...a few weeks ago, I went out at night," Axel makes a shocked sound when I say this, so I look at him and his eyes are round and wide.

"Yah left the house willingly?" He says with a tiny laugh and I glare at him.

"Yes...though looking back now, I shouldn't have," right away, the smile on Axel's face vanishes and he squeezes my hand when I look away. My heart is pounding again, and not even holding Axel's hand is going to make it better. The words are stuck in my throat like a really big piece of splintered wood and I have no idea how to get them out.

"Roxas?" Axel asks quietly and I take a deep breath before I continue. I don't look up from the sheets though, I don't want to see Axel's face when I tell him what happened. I mean, what if it grosses him out? What if knowing someone else touched me, makes him not want me?

Oh fuck, I hadn't thought of that before...shit. Axel squeezes my hand again and I look over at him briefly, seeing him waiting for me to continue before I have to look down.

"I was walking home...and this guy asked me for a light. I said I didn't have one, but he didn't leave. He trapped me against the wall and started to force himself on me," I scrunch my nose at my choice of words. I sound like I'm saying this to some judge and jury instead of Axel. "I tried to run and he chased me...it was so scary...but luckily this girl I know came by with her friend and saved me. It wasn't so bad...but now, every time I close my eyes, I remember it and I get scared all over again," I can't look up, especially when Axel lets go of my hand. I feel like I might start crying, until I feel him wrap his arms around me and pull me into his chest.

"Fuck Rox, that's awful...I'm so sorry yah had to go through that...S'that why yah keep runnin' away every time I touch yah?" Axel pulls away and makes me look up at him. I have no time to stop the fiery blush that spreads across my face and I can't even turn away because Axel is holding me by the cheeks. Instead, my eyes dart off to the side and it's now or never. I could lie and tell him that yes, that is why I've been so awkward, or I can tell him the truth. I can tell him I've been running away from him because I'm afraid he'll get me too excited. I've been running away from him because holy shit, I want to have sex with him so badly.

"...No," I barely get the word past my lips and somehow Axel hears me. He looks at my face, just staring at every detail and I start to squirm a little. I've never been watched this closely. I want to laugh, but maybe that's just all the nerves. I decide I might as well, the atmosphere in the room could definitely use a bit of humor and it's not like Axel doesn't think I'm some weird psycho anyway. I start cracking up, and I mean really laughing. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time, and I just laugh even harder when Axel joins in. It's funny because he was no idea why I'm laughing, yet, here he is, holding his stomach and guffawing like I'm a master comedian.

Our weird giggle fit dies down and I realize I still have to explain this to him. I take a deep breath, which is a lot easier now and open my mouth. "Sora told me..." Axel beats me to talking and I almost choke on my tongue. I sputter and start to cough, Axel patting me on the back until I stop. When I look up, I swear to you, Axel must have seen something terrifying because the look on his face is spooked. He raises his arms in mock surrender. "I never asked'im or nothin'. He just called me 'n told me yah wanted to jump my bones, I didn't believe him but..." Axel smirks at me, but I'm still thinking about Sora. That fucking little snake. "How could yah not want all this?" Axel does a little wiggle and I'd probably laugh, if I wasn't getting ready to march across my yard and strangle my cousin. I stand up off the bed slowly and Axel follows me. "Hey...where yah goin'?"

"To kill-" I get cut off by none other than Sora barging into the room.

"The fuuun haaaas aaaarrriveeeed!" He sing-songs but when he spots Axel in a towel, he stops. I mustn't have been too subtle in my ogling, but Sora...he doesn't even try to hide it. His beady eyes are all over Axel's exposed body and a powerful jealousy fills me. I growl before stomping right in between him and Axel. My cousin seems to snap out of it and a sheepish look sweeps across his face. For that little innocent act to work, he might want to wipe the drool off his mouth. "Sorry...he's just really nice to look at."

I glare so viciously, my cousin backs away until Axel starts laughing, placing himself beside me and rubs my head. It takes a lot of me not to charge right at Sora, especially when Axel moves away from us to go to the dresser, leaving me all on my own. When he's far enough, I stomp forward and my cousin squeaks, pressing into the wall instead of moving away. Axel shouts at me from behind the bathroom door, before stepping out in his pajama pants. He's still not wearing a shirt, but he has the towel draped around his neck and his legs are covered. I'm a few inches away from Sora when Axel catches me and I back up a little before turning back to start glaring at Sora all over again. "You told him Sora? You fucking told him?" I hiss out and my cousin looks like I just sprayed him with pepper spray.

"I was giving you guys a friendly shove in the right direction?" He grins, but I can see the filthy little gossip queen underneath. Sora could never keep anything to himself, so I have no idea why I'm even shocked. I feel my anger just gush out of me and I sigh deeply, before tossing myself onto the bed.

"Fuck you Sora...fuck, you," I say before curling up and laying there. I keep my eyes open, staring at the pillows and wondering what the thread count is. I hear Sora mumble something to Axel and I sit up quickly, staring at them curiously. "It's rude to tell secrets," I nag and my cousin rolls his eyes before giving me a look.

"It's rude to say fuck you," Sora replies like a smart ass and I glare, pointing an accusing finger at him. Axel looks like he's ready to jump in and stop us if we start trying to strangle each other.

"It's rude to always be fucking exposing other peoples things!" I try not to shout but my voice does get a little louder, the anger I felt before slowly coming back. My cousin looks so offended, but he has no right to be. He's told everyone all my things! First he tells my dad I'm gay, then he exposes me to my mother and now this? What the fucking hell man?

"Yeah well...whatever Roxas!" My cousin crosses his arms like a grouchy kid and Axel snorts before giving us both looks. "I was coming here to tell you something, but I guess I won't now." I glare at my cousin before snorting.

"Pfft, like I even want to know!"

"I'm sure you would if you'd stop being such a jerk!"

"I'm a jerk! You're the damn blabber mouth!"

"Y'all sound real mature," The red head stops up before this fight escalates and he winks before stepping past Sora and leaving the room, announcing that he's going to make dinner because he's fucking starving and we better not kill each other before the food is ready. When I hear him get downstairs, I send Sora another dirty look but he doesn't return it, which in the end kinda makes me feel like a jerk.

"I'm sorry I'm a loud mouth," he mumbles and I have to laugh, shrugging when he looks at me.

"I shouldn't have expected anything less."

"HEY!" I laugh before asking him what he'd come to tell me about in the first place. "Oh yeah...wait...I thought you didn't want to know," He grins at me when I roll my eyes and send him a look.

"You either tell me or you don't, decide," My cousin, never resisting the urge to dish the latest gossip caves and throws himself on my bed with a little giggle.

"Well all our Aunties have contributed and got back all the money Larxene stole from your parents! My mom is throwing a party at our house with everyone there as soon as your parents get back! You know what this means?"

My heart sinks into my chest and I stare at Sora in horror as he smiles happily. I know exactly what this means.

"Family reunion!"

A/N: Y'all know what this means? No really, do any of you? 'Cause I don't...-shifty eyes-

Just thought I'd post this before I go off and do laundry. -grumblegrumble-
I don't have much to say about this chapter, but well...you know.
I promise something good -nudgenudgewinkwink- will happen soon.

You'll all find out if Roxas made it to a month or not ;D

Arriiibaaaa, andale, andale!

-Dances around sombrero with maracas-

El Sharmander del Oeste.