Goodbyes
"What's this?" Thane asked, picking up the small, wrapped box. Flipping it over once in his hand, he ran a finger over the smooth, coral colored paper and looked through the open bathroom door at Jasmine.
She glanced over her shoulder and grinned before turning back to the mirror. "I got Kolyat a birthday present." She shrugged, rifling through her little, black makeup bag. "I know it's not a drell tradition, but … I don't know, I just wanted to get him something."
Heart swelling with love for the incredible woman, he smiled, setting the package back down and moved into the bathroom to stand behind her at the sink. She met his gaze in the mirror, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him, warm and solid, real in his arms. He grazed her neck with his lips and teeth, savoring the smell of the ocean and fresh air on her skin and in her hair. He wished he were able to join her outside the city's protective walls, there were a few places he would've liked to show her as well, some of the places he trained while in the Compact. Chuckling at her exasperated sigh as she painted her lips with her fruit-scented gloss, he nipped at her bare shoulder.
Stowing the gloss in her pocket, she closed the bag and sat it aside. "We're going to be late if you keep that up." She turned, draping her arms over his neck and smirked, the familiar glint of mischief danced in her eyes, making his heart skip a beat. "Not that I'd mind, but Kolyat might."
"Mmm. I suppose we can't have that." He ran his hand over her hair, still loose around her shoulders, burying his face against her neck and breathed in deep before letting it out in a sigh and meeting her gaze. He really did need to watch himself, leaving his scent all over her might draw unwanted attention, but knowing she'd be leaving him again very soon …. He kissed her, careful not to smear her freshly applied lip gloss and then rested his forehead against hers. "I love you." Licking his lips, he pulled the sweetened taste into his mouth—she'd called the flavor 'strawberry' but he smelled far more of the fruit than he tasted in the oily substance.
"I love you, too." She cupped his cheek, pushing at his jaw just enough to urge him to meet her gaze. "Hey, we won't be apart forever. You'll finish your treatments, and then you'll come find me, yeah?"
"Always." He tightened his grip around her waist, willing her to feel the truth of his words through his touch. "As long as I draw breath, I will find you, siha." He swallowed, fighting back the sudden urge to carry her back to the bed and never leave it again. "You have my word."
She held his gaze for a long moment, silence lingering between them as she seemed to weigh his words. "And you have mine. I have no intentions of letting you slip through my fingers and disappear from my life, Thane Krios." Brushing her thumb over his the ridge of his cheek, she kissed him, keeping her mouth next to his as she whispered, "Even if it means from time to time I have to hunt you down and drag you kicking and screaming back out of your battle sleep."
Something inside of him eased, a knot unfurling in the center of his chest. It was something he tried not to think about too closely—how easily he'd drifted away from Irikah in her absence and how he feared the same might happen with Jasmine if he didn't stand vigilant, holding her in his thoughts at all times when they parted ways. That she saw this in him and loved him enough to fight for him, even if it meant fighting against him, made him love her all the more.
He closed his eyes and brought his forehead back to hers. "Thank you."
She hummed and pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in an embrace. "Let's see if you still feel grateful when it actually happens. Now, I think we have somewhere we're supposed to be."
"Indeed." He chuckled, letting her go and stepping back out of the bathroom. "What did you get for him?"
Picking up the package, she turned it over in her hands and frowned. "It's a bracelet made of small pieces of shell. The guy I bought it from swore it'd be an appropriate gift for a kid Kolyat's age; apparently they're trendy right now." She glanced up at him, scrunching up her nose. "I don't really have any idea what sorts of things he's interested in … other than fish and medical research."
Reading her expression as self-conscious and doubtful, he offered her a reassuring smile and accepted the gift when she held it out to him. "I'm sure he'll like it, and be quite pleased you think enough of him to want to get him a gift."
She scooped her hair up in her hands, smoothing it out before pulling the elastic tie off her wrist to wrap it around the bundle, tying her hair back atop her head. "And if he doesn't, he's far too polite to say so."
Thane chuckled, dipping his head. "Indeed."
"So, what does one do spending the day in a temple with their father for their birthday?" She made her way to the door, glancing over her shoulder at him.
"Pray. Spend time with the priests. Reminisce." He held his arm out to her as they left her hotel room, and she wrapped her hand around the inside of his elbow. "I think it was cathartic, for both of us."
She smiled at him, a soft, slight upward tilt of her lips. Grip tightening on his arm, she leaned into him. "I'm glad to hear. I bet it meant a lot to him to have you there, too."
"I think so, yes." He led her down the hall, toward the lobby. "It still amazes me to be here, so close to him. Even more so to have had the chance to share time with you both, together."
"You think he'll be okay when it's time for you to leave again?" she asked, voice soft.
He turned his gaze to the floor in front of him and shook his head. "I think he's going to be crushed. But … in time, he'll adjust. Once he realizes, with no uncertainty, I intend to remain in his life the best I can."
"And … are you going to be okay when it's time for you to leave again?" She kept her tone low, unintrusive, like a whisper on the wind, something felt more than heard.
"I—I believe I will be. It won't be easy, by any means, but I know it's what's best for both of us." He looked up, searching her face for some sign she truly understood, or at least some sign she didn't disagree. Finding nothing by sympathy in her gaze, he smiled. "And I'll know you're waiting for me."
"Mhmm. I hope you don't keep me waiting too long. Who knows what trouble I might get up to without you." She winked, pulling a soft laugh from him.
Jasmine forced a smile at the drell boy gawking at her across the table. Kolyat not-so-discreetly elbowed his friend in the ribs, but still, Quinlo stared. Rone cleared his throat, and finally the kid dropped his gaze to his plate. Kolyat gave her an apologetic look, and her smile softened to something more real. She didn't fault the kid for his curiosity, but damn if it wasn't getting old. Unlike Kolyat who looked at her with awe when they first met, Quinlo looked at her as if she were a science project, a specimen he was trying to figure out how best to dissect. She'd never felt so unnerved by a child before, every inch of her skin crawled, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, and that little voice in the back of her head warned her to keep her distance.
Finally getting a moment's reprieve from Little Mr. Creepy Pants' scrutiny, she pulled the wrapped box up from her lap, setting it on the table in front of her and turned her attention to Kolyat. "I know it's not a tradition you're familiar with, but where I'm from, it's custom to get a gift for someone when it's their birthday." She pushed the present across the table toward him, resisting the urge to glance at Rone and Kelena to see if they approved of the gesture. "So, Happy Birthday, Kolyat."
He blinked, his gaze following the box as it traversed the table. Quinlo resumed his goggling, gaze swinging back and forth between Jasmine, the gift, and Kolyat. She bit her lip, pushing her irritated thoughts about the kid aside to focus on Kolyat instead. Watching as he hesitantly picked up the package, holding it with just the tips of his fingers as if it might sprout fangs and bite, she grinned and fought back a laugh. Glancing up, he met the gaze of everyone at the table before sliding a finger under a folded corner and popping it free. He slipped the paper off the box before sitting it back on the table to lift the lid.
She sucked in a shallow breath, nostrils filling with the smells of braised bastial and roasted naka, finding her nervousness absolutely ridiculous. Thane pressed his knee against hers, hidden by the ruby-red, silken tablecloth, and she slid her foot back and around his, tucking her ankle in against him. A slow smile spread across Kolyat's face as he lifted the bracelet from the box, running the smoothed chips of shell through his fingers. Jasmine grinned, sinking into her hard, low-backed chair, the design clearly meant to encourage the exact opposite of her posture as the sides pressed uncomfortably against her back, urging her upright once more.
"Thank you, Jasmine." He looked up, meeting her gaze, giving her a glimpse of excitement dancing in his blue eyes hidden behind the black, outer lense.
"You like it?" She raised her eyebrows.
His grin widened and he dipped his head. "I do, very much so."
"Allow me," Kelena said, holding her hand out to Kolyat. "It is quite lovely."
He gave her the bracelet and held his arm out, letting her fasten it around his wrist. Mumbling a 'thank you' to his aunt, he pulled his hand back, running his fingers over the blue and white shells again, turning the bracelet around on his wrist.
"It is nicer than the one San'hal wears." Quinlo seemed to finally tire of gaping at her, instead he half turned in his chair to examine the bracelet with Kolyat, the light trailing in from the living room behind him falling across his face as he turned, catching on the tans and greens of his scales, making him look a little less … ghoulish.
The statement only seemed to make Kolyat's smile beam even brighter. "It is. He will be quite jealous."
"Kolyat." Kelena made a tutting sound. "We should not be pleased by evoking such emotions in others."
"My apologies, Aunt Kelena." Kolyat schooled his smile and tucked his hands in his lap. "I did not mean to cause offense."
Jasmine didn't know who San'hal was, or why it made Kolyat happy for San'hal in particular to be jealous, but she admitted to herself it only added to her satisfaction. Maybe it made her a bad person, but just then, she didn't care. She glanced at Thane, seeing the corners of his mouth twitch, and she thought maybe he felt the same way when he lifted his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, smile breaking through in the process.
"Jasmine, I hope you have enjoyed your visit so far," Kelena said, drawing Jasmine's attention to her. "We get so few visitors to Kahje."
"I have, yes, thank you. I haven't seen much of the planet, but Enkindler's Pass is quite beautiful." Jasmine smiled. "And I really loved seeing Kalahira's Threshold." The choice to use the drell name as opposed to the hanar name wasn't happenstance, and Jasmine knew she'd won a few more brownie points with the other woman when Kelena's smile widened. "Kolyat acted as an excellent tour guide." She glanced at him, throwing a smile in his direction.
Kelena laughed, the sound soft and musical. "I do hope he was on his best behavior."
"A perfect gentleman." Jasmine's omni-tool vibrated against her wrist and she glanced down, her gut telling her it was the call she'd been both dreading and waiting impatiently for. She fought to keep her expression neutral, returning her gaze to Kelena. "I'm sorry, I need to take this call. Is there somewhere …."
"Yes, of course," Rone spoke up, pushing away from the table. "Please, allow me to show you to the study."
"Thank you." She slid her chair out, glancing at Thane as she stood, hoping her silent apology carried over in her eyes. Taking calls at the dinner table wasn't exactly socially acceptable by human standards, she had no doubt it'd be perceived as rude by the drell at the table, but if she was right, and it was her new handler calling ….
"You are most welcome." Rone waited for her, hands tucked behind his back, face unreadable.
Following Rone out of the dining room and down a hall, she waited while he opened a door and turned on the light for her. He dipped his head, stepping back out of her way and made his way back down the hall. Jasmine stepped inside and closed the door, giving the room a quick once over, taking in shelves stacked with books, small, carved statues of drell and hanar, and holos of Kolyat and Kelena. The desk at the far side of the room, immaculately organized, held only a closed laptop and datapads sandwiched between stone figures, both of the same female drell but while one held a sword, the other cradled an infant. Jasmine thought they must represent the goddess Arashu, based on what Thane told her about his religion. She smiled before turning her back to an empty wall and answering the call.
Isaac's face appeared on the screen, his brown eyes appraising her instantly. "Shepard." He nodded, his shoulders relaxing as if whatever he saw in her put his mind at ease, and he smiled. "Your vacation is agreeing with you. You look good."
"But it's time to come back to work," she said, not as a question or even a complaint, but a simple acknowledgement of why he called.
He smirked. "I already forgot how brusque you can be. Yeah, it's time to come back to work. I've reinstated your alias, Ramona Salazar, and I want you on the Citadel in two days. I trust you can make that happen?"
She sighed and nodded. She knew the time for her to leave grew closer, and she was getting a little restless, but the thought of leaving Thane behind made her chest ache. "I'll be there. Are you sending me a dossier?"
He shook his head. "Not yet. You've been out of commission for awhile, I need to make sure you're up to the task, and it's a good idea for us to get to know each other a little better. I need you to trust me as much as you need me to trust you, and that's not going to happen out of nowhere—for either of us."
"Okay." She pursed her lips. "So … what? We'll be working together at the training facility there?"
Isaac bobbed his head back and forth a little. "Mmmm, something like that." He grinned, a playful cunningness making his eyes sparkle sass, spiking her curiosity and pouring a little water on the seed of fondness he'd planted in her the day they met. "I'll have you a place set up, everything you need. Message me with the name of your ship and ETA, I'll meet you at the docks."
"Alright, I'll make the arrangements tonight." She gave him one quick nod of her head, biting back a 'sir' before it made it's way from her mouth, remembering his distaste for the honorific at the last second.
"Good, I'll see you soon, Shepard." The screen went dark.
Closing her omni-tool she let out a heavy breath, letting her lips flap against each other before leaving the study. She made her way back down the hall, pasting a smile on her face and squaring her shoulders, forcing herself to be vigilant of her body language so no one would know her heart was really breaking. Soft laughter trickled down the hall, and she heard Thane's voice among the mix. Somehow, it helped to ease the pain a little. Everyone glanced up at her as she came back into the room.
She pulled her chair back out and sat down. "I'm so sorry."
"It is quite alright." Kelena smiled at her, the look carrying with it a sense of indulgence. "I hope everything is well."
Jasmine nodded and picked up her water glass. "Yes, it was a work call I've been expecting." She waved her free hand, as if it were of no real importance. "I suppose they wouldn't call it a vacation if it didn't have to come to an end."
"You are leaving?" Shock filled Kolyat's voice, hitting her like the worst kind of accusation, leaving a sour taste in her mouth.
"Kolyat," Rone and Kelena said in unison.
But Kolyat didn't apologize right away, instead, he watched her, a frown pulling at his mouth. She wanted to kick herself. Hard. She should've known he'd be disappointed with such news. It wasn't as if he didn't know her time on Kahje was limited, but still, she'd never given him a specific date of departure, leaving it open for him to extend her stay in his mind. And she knew by the look on his face, he'd done just that.
"I am, but not right this moment. I have to make arrangements tonight." Jasmine swallowed, trying not to let her tone sound too much like she was trying to soothe him, but making her genuine regret heard. "I'm due back in two days."
Kolyat sat his fork down on his mostly empty plate. "Then … I am glad I had the opportunity to meet you, Jasmine. I hope to see you again, someday."
"Me, too, Kolyat." A knot formed in her throat, and for a second, she thought she might cry.
He looked so deflated and on his birthday, even. He should be happy, smiling, and laughing with his family and friend. Instead, she'd just made a stupid, careless mistake and ruined his night. She did hope to see him again, but she knew it was pretty unlikely—not in person, at least. Finding a ship headed to Kahje, let alone one that'd let her aboard, had been near to impossible, and she paid out the ass for the ride. The Illuminated Primacy didn't allow for a lot of incoming traffic, it wouldn't be a place she'd be able to return to often, if at all, especially once she started working again and had limited time between jobs. She couldn't tell him as much, though.
Thane wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer when Jasmine flung her arms around his neck. Turning his face into her hair, he breathed in and held it, taking solace in the idea of those molecules of grapefruit and papaya scented air becoming a part of him. He'd helped her make arrangements, securing her passage aboard a ship headed to the Ismar Frontier. The ship would dock on Zorya, where she'd board another ship headed to the Citadel. She refused to arrive on a ship departing from Kahje as a precaution—to protect his family—despite the potential for trouble Zorya represented, being the home of the Blue Suns. Still, he trusted her to be careful and knew she was capable of defending herself.
He took in another deep breath, rubbing his face against hers. "We have the rest of the night and all day tomorrow together, where would you like to go? What would you like to do?"
She tucked her head under his chin and sighed. "This."
She sighed again, the sound so sad and wistful it tore at his carefully constructed walls, making his throat spasm with the effort it took to keep himself from begging her to stay. She'd asked him to once, the last time they parted ways, perhaps she'd do the same again, and he'd plead with her not to leave. He wanted her to stay by his side forever. She needn't stop working, if she didn't want to; they could take jobs together and ….
"I just want to spend what time we have left in your arms." She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze and bit her lip. "Okay?"
"That sounds perfect." He lifted a hand to her face, tugging her lip free, and kissed her.
Grinning, her eyebrows lifted, a hopeful spark in her eyes. "Maybe we can just curl up on the couch and watch vids until we're ready for bed?"
He chuckled. "Whatever you like, siha."
"I love you." She pushed up on her toes, chest pressing against his, and kissed him with soft lips on his brow.
The gesture brought another chuckle from him, and he brushed his knuckles along her jaw when she settled back on her heels. "And I you."
"I'm going to drag the blanket over and maybe a couple of pillows." She glanced over her shoulder at the bed before returning to his gaze. "Will you get us something to snack on and some drinks?"
"As you wish." He kissed her again and then let her go, watching for a moment as she moved to the bed before making his way to the kitchen area.
After digging through her cabinets, he felt fairly convinced she'd managed to find and horde every scrap of unhealthy food shipped to Kahje. Three varieties of sliced, deep-fat fried vegetables, sugar covered pastries, chocolates, and a packaged of some sort of dried meat labeled 'beef jerky' with an astonishingly high sodium content. Smiling to himself over her eating habits, and how poorly she had him eating over the last few weeks, he carried everything to the coffee table so she might take her pick.
She flashed him a childlike grin as she scooped up the beef jerky and tore the package open with her teeth, settling back on the couch to kick her shoes off. He laughed and returned to the kitchen area, opening the refrigeration unit to see what she had to drink. He found Tupari in her refrigerator, along with a half bottle of asari wine, and bottled elocol.
"Jasmine, what would you like to drink?" He glanced her way to find her holding a strip of the jerky between her teeth while she flipped through a list of vids on the screen.
She pulled the meat from her mouth and looked at him. "Wine, since it's already open. After that, probably elocol. You can take the Tupari to Kolyat … if they let him drink that kind of stuff."
"Unlikely, but perhaps it will interest someone at the rehabilitation center." He retrieved glasses from the cabinet before taking the wine and elocol back to the table.
She poured them drinks while he took off his jacket and vest, knowing she'd want to rest her head against his bare chest, and wanting to be able to feel her warm skin on his scales. Sitting down next to her, he pulled off his boots, sliding them under the edge of the table before tucking one of the pillows behind him. She handed him a glass of elocol and snuggled in against his side. She started a vid, Horizon's Gamble—about an asari explorer adventuring into unchartered territory only to find the local inhabitants aren't as welcoming as she'd hoped, according to the description—and used her omni-tool to dim the lights before pulling the blanket up around them.
As the first asari appeared on screen, Jasmine glanced over at him, a smile spreading over her face when he met her gaze. "This vid has terrible reviews."
"Oh?" He wanted to ask why she chose it, then, but thought it might sound rude.
Her grin widened. "Yep. I'm introducing you to another human tradition." She snuggled in a little closer. "Find a vid with the worst reputation, and then spend the entire time making fun of it."
He laughed, stealing the piece of beef jerky from her hand and ripping some off with his teeth before handing it back to her. The umami teased his tastebuds as he chewed, the salt not as overwhelming as he expected, somehow enhancing the other spices along with the taste of the red meat itself. Whatever animal beef came from, he found it appealing and wondered in what other ways it might be prepared.
He hummed his approval, digging a piece of his own out of the bag when she held it out to him. "And you find this more entertaining than watching a vid you might actually enjoy?"
"Sometimes, yeah." She leaned forward, tossing the bag back to the table and picking up her wine glass.
He arched a brow ridge at her, the corner of his lip lifting in a smirk. "Humans have the most fascinating traditions."
Jasmine watched his face as he swept her hair back, tucking it behind her ear before tracing the curve of her jaw. She wondered what exactly he saw when he looked at her. Was she really as beautiful to him as he was to her? The soft light filling the room from the bedside lamp caught on his scales and in his eyes, and she saw the strain she felt reflected there. Would it ever get any easier for them, when it came time for one or the other to leave? She hoped the pain was worth the pleasure for him. Without a doubt, it was for her.
"When's your birthday?" she asked, realizing she never knew for sure, but must've missed one since they'd known each other. "Back on the Citadel, when we were talking after I killed the guy in the warehouse, Ryan Archer, you said you'd soon be thirty-three, but I never asked when."
He smiled, but something about it seemed sad as his gaze focused on her eyes. "Ah. By the hanar calendar, my birthday was the forty-third day of the month Hinyal. The day you left for Illium."
She winced, sucking a hissing breath in between her teeth. Apparently ruining birthdays by leaving became her new thing. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It didn't seem relevant," he said with a shrug. "Especially in light of everything else."
Pushing her lower lip out in a pout, she sighed. "It's relevant to me. I would've gotten you something for your birthday. Made you eat more cake."
He chuckled, brushing his thumb over her lip. "You did give me something. You gave me this, us."
Snorting, she rolled her eyes, shaking her head against the pillow. "You're such a hopeless romantic." She reached up, pressing her hand to his face. "Who would've ever guessed one of the galaxy's most deadly men is really a big softy?"
He scoffed, turning his head to kiss her palm. "Is it such a bad thing?"
"Not at all. It's just the last thing I expected when we first met." She caressed his frills, smiling at the soft, throaty hum her touch elicited. "Not what I'm used to in people, I guess."
"How unfortunate." He smirked, leaning in to brush his lips over hers, the heat of his naked body so close made the kiss seem far less chaste. "Or, perhaps, how fortunate for me."
She chuckled, tugging him back to her for another kiss when he started to pull away, letting his lower lip linger between hers for a moment. "Favorite place in the galaxy?"
"This very spot." He grinned when she huffed and then said, "I'm rather fond of Chalkhos."
Brow furrowing, she tried to place the name but came up blank. "Chalkhos?"
"It's an asari planet in the Mil System of Sigurd's Cradle. I went there for a contract, the target a krogan bonded to an asari who ran a research facility. He made enemies in Citadel space and then returned to the Terminus Systems, believing he'd be beyond reach on Chalkhos." He waved his hand, brushing the thought aside. "It's not the planet itself that appeals to me, but the view of its twin planet, Selvos. It's a stunning sight. Almost as beautiful as you." He brought his hand back to her face, caressing her cheekbone. "What's yours?"
"Hmmmm." She pursed her lips as she thought, her mind pulling up location after location before tossing them aside and finally settling on one in particular. "Demeter. You know it?"
"Indeed." He dipped his head, the pillowcase making a susurrate of sound as his scales moved across the material. "Why Demeter?"
She lifted a hand to his face, tracing the grooves where the larger, plate-like scales fused together, trying her best to commit each line to memory. "It's where I went when I left Earth for the first time."
"Ah." Settling a hand on her hip, only the thin blanket separating them, he rubbed up and down over the curve of her hip to waist and back again, pulling a contented sigh from her lips. "Was this for work, or when you were younger?"
"I was ten. My father was from there originally, and we went to Demeter when his father passed away for the funeral." Dropping her hand down to his shoulder, she swept her fingers over the pattern of black stripes running along his arm. "I'd never met my grandfather, so I didn't really feel anything in particular about his death. I remember trying to hide my excitement about going offworld because I didn't want my dad to feel like I didn't care grandpa's death hurt him."
He hummed, shifting his hand to the small of her back, stretching his arm out further and exposing more of his markings to her. "Did he have other family there?"
"Uhh, yeah," she said with a nod, "his uncle. His dad's half-brother. I met him and his family for the first and only time at the funeral."
"Forgive me for prying into an uncomfortable topic," he said, then hesitated, drawing her gaze back to his, "but I don't understand how it is you ended up on your own at such a young age after your parents died if you have family both on Earth and Demeter. Would no one take you in?"
"The first few months after my mother died, they had me in foster homes while they tried to track down my father." She shrugged, turning her attention back to a stripe swooping over his shoulder and down across his chest. "After that, they tried my mother's family in London, but by then my great-aunt and uncle passed away, and their kids moved." She leaned in compelled to kiss the stripe, and pressed her lips to his shoulder. "They were still trying to find my mom's relatives—I guess the agency figured it'd be better for me to stay on Earth with my mother's family than go to Demeter—but they were still looking when I ran away."
He brought his hand back to her face, pushing aside a lock of hair, dislodged when she leaned in to kiss his shoulder. "Have you … have you tried to find them yourself?"
She shook her head. "They're strangers to me, I don't really see the point."
He searched her face, for what she wasn't really certain, before moving his hand back to her hip, pulling her in a little closer to him. "Is there a place you never wish to return?"
She felt fairly certain he wanted to say something entirely different in the moment, but for whatever reason, he chose to keep it to himself. Figuring if it was important, he'd say it sooner or later, she let it go. Just then, she didn't want to pry; she wanted to enjoy the last few, peaceful moments with him, acutely aware she had three hours before she needed to be on her shuttle. "Mmm. I don't know, nothing immediately comes to mind. You?"
"No." He moved his arm, pulling it down beneath the blanket to run his warm, soft hand over her bare skin, moving in lazy circles over her hip and back. "The only place I've ever avoided is Kahje, and now, I feel more at peace here than I have in years. That isn't to say I'm not still troubled by the thoughts of what happened here, but there is love and hope here, too."
She smiled, scooting even closer to him until her abdomen brushed against his. "I'm glad you decided to come back."
"As am I." With one smooth movement, he pulled her flush against him before rolling with her, moving her to her back so he laid atop her, arm and knee supporting some of his weight. He grinned when she giggled and then nipped at her lip. "I'm more glad you decided to join me here."
Bringing her arms up to wrap them around his neck, she lifted her head from the pillow to kiss him, her tongue parting his lips with ease as a desperate rush of need swept over her. It wasn't about wanting sex and chasing an orgasm—she'd had more than her fair share of those over the last month—but Christ, she wanted him inside of her, wanted to feel his heart beating against her chest as he moved within her, arms surrounding her, whispered words of passion in her ear. She wanted to lose herself in him, feel her very soul mingle and dance with his. She wanted … breaking the kiss, she met his gaze. "Make love to me," she whispered, so vulnerable in that moment, voicing her desires any louder might completely unravel her.
Her voice must've betrayed the intensity of her emotions, or maybe he just saw something in her eyes, because she saw the sudden shift in his gaze as nothing less than a mirror reflection of her own needs. He didn't say anything, only brushed his lips over hers, soft and slow, before his tongue found hers in a gentle caress. Lifting her head into the kiss, she ran a hand over the tight muscles of his back and shoulder blade, moving the other down to cradle the side of his head and jaw. Threading his fingers through her hair, he shifted his weight, sliding one of his legs between her thighs. She locked her ankle around his knee, just to be that much closer to him, before tucking one of her arms down between them, maneuvering it under his arm and then wrapping it around his ribs, fingers splaying out over his back.
She turned her face, rubbing her cheek against the top of his forehead, brushing her lips over the first spike of his crest when he dipped his head to leave a scorching, wet trail down her throat with his tongue. Shifting his weight a little, he cupped her breast with his free hand, trapping her nipple between the knuckles of his thumb and forefinger, applying a gentle pressure as he kneaded her breast with palm and fingers. Growing harder against her thigh, his body called out to hers, making her insides twitch and tighten with yearning.
Using his knee, he spread her legs wider, bringing his other leg over to join the first, giving her the space to wrap herself around him further. She held him close, hands skirting over frills and scales, muscles rolling beneath her fingers with his every movement, ankles hooked behind his knees. He moved a little lower, lips, tongue, and teeth taking in everything within reach. She gasped when his mouth closed over her nipple, his tongue twirling over the sensitive bud. His hand kneaded along her side, gently squeezing handfuls of hip and thigh, reaching under her bent leg to cup her ass before trailing his hand back up her leg and over her knee to take his time making his way back to her hip.
Releasing her breast, he shifted on the bed, licking, kissing, nipping his way lower. She knew he intended to bury his face between her legs, use his tongue and his fingers to make her orgasm; she knew he enjoyed that as much as she did, but it wasn't what she wanted. As intimate a gesture as it was, oral sex held a particular distance she didn't think she could stand just then, not when she only wanted to feel closer, as close as possible.
Tugging at his crest, she urged him back up to her, claiming his mouth with her own once more. She lifted her hips to meet his, pressing herself against him, a silent plea, begging him not to make her wait any longer. He moaned in her mouth, hand tightening in her hair as she rocked her hips, leaving him slick with her wetness. Reaching between them, she took him in hand, stroking his length before guiding him to her opening.
She broke the kiss, holding her breath and tilting her head back, her whole body shuddering as he eased himself inside. Tears given life by her overwhelming bliss pooled in her eyes, and she blinked, letting them roll down over her temples. Brushing his lips over the tear tracks, first one side and then the other, he slid his arms under her, cradling her as he moved against her, filling her completely. She clung to him with the sort of desperation that ought to frighten her, but instead only made her hungry for more of him, all of him.
"I love you." The words rushed out of her, broken and ragged, cracking in her drying throat as she sucked in deep lungfuls of air. And then, as if saying it once wasn't enough, she said it again, and again, feeling every bit as if she chanted a prayer only God might hear.
But Thane heard her, too, returning each muttered devotion with his own, his words whispered in her ear and across her skin. "I love you, Jasmine. I am yours, my beautiful siha. Always, I love you."