Hidden Tales From The Chamber Of Secrets - 37 - Portkey to Heaven
by Polydicta
The now obligatory selection of plot-bunnies, orphaned scenes, omakes and idiocy that sometimes bring my mind to a grinding halt. Ongoing warnings for smut, language, character death, bashing, torture, mutilation and reader brain-damage. Brain bleach recommended.
Disclaimer:
All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.
There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.
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Hidden Tales From The Chamber Of Secrets - 37 - Portkey to Heaven
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Harry's return to consciousness was accompanied by the feeling of being tied to a gravestone, and the foul odour of Wormtail's halitosis. Halitosis that reminded Harry of the stench of the dragon back in November.
It seemed such a long time ago.
Vaguely, he remembered portkeying an injured Cedric out of the maze. That seemed like weeks past.
The maze. His mind wandered. A journey fuelled by the acromantula venom percolating through his system.
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Ron, angry Ron who had been publicly in opposition to Harry almost all year. Ron, who had tried to find out who was responsible for putting Harry's name in the damned cup. Ron had failed, but not for want of trying. Their secret meetings with Hermione, however had been ... enlightening.
Ahhh, Hermione. Lovely Hermione who had done so much research in support of Harry's tournament efforts. Hermione who had helped Harry to make sense of the journals left by his parents.
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The giant, stone cauldron was starting to seethe now. Well the contents, anyway ...
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Seething ... yes, that's how Harry felt when Ron asked if Harry had been studying his family magic, and the trio realised that Someone, mentioning no headmasters in particular, Someone had failed to tell Harry about that little aspect of his life.
Arthur Weasley had accompanied Harry to Gringott's to see about the inheritance that he should have been able to collect when he was twelve - the Family Grimoire and his parents' journals.
He discovered that his family had invented the portkey charm - and every use by the Ministry of Magic netted him seven sickles.
He had found the alternate variants of the portkey charm, and had been ... practicing.
That had saved a life or two ... Lily Potter's medical portkey - a combined medical stasis and portkey in one charm, combined with a sticking spell. He's cast it on Gabrielle Delacoer's robes in the middle of the Hogewarts' Lake as the girl was turning blue and was obviously in a bad way. She arrived in the medical tent and was saved by Madam Pomfrey.
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Wormtail stubbed his toe on something and hopped around for a bit.
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Hopping. That described the peculiar spell that Harry's father had invented. A strange spell to make a pebble hop up and forward like a tiddly wink.
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"Bone of the father, you will restore your flesh"
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Harry's mind wandered briefly to the events of his second year and Gilderoy Lockheart vanishing the bones in his arm.
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"Bone of the idiot, you will vanish your legs," giggled Harry.
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Had he just said that?
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"Flesh of the servant, you will restore your master."
Harry's freewheeling mind prompted him to mumble something about 'flipper of the worm' and self-abuse. His raucous laughter spoiled the whole ton of the ritual.
Wormtail approached Harry, brandishing his knife.
"You'll only get acromantula spit out of that one ..."
Harry giggled as the blood was taken and tipped into the cauldron.
Harry announced at full volume, "frying tonight!"
The result of the 'fry-up' and harry had named it, stepped from the steam. A tall, unnaturally thin figure with no nose, a lipless mouth, pale, waxy skin and red eyes.
The reborn Lord Voldemort summoned his faithful which was accompanied by a still-freewheeling Harry singing 'O Come All Ye Faithful' - off key, off beat and with random alternate words.
Voldemort was having trouble keeping his temper, since his mortal enemy didn't seem to be treating his resurrection with the dignity it richly deserved.
Then came the dual. Voldemort made the mistake of having Harry released, given his wand and forced to duel against Lord Voldemort.
"Move back, and give the boy some space in which to face me."
Space ... yes ...Harry's mind conjured up an image sent back from Apollo 12, a wonderful landscape of the Moon, an astronaut, the lunar lander and the Earth hanging low in the sky beyond. A peaceful place made all the more real by Harry's poisoned blood.
Voldemort instructed Harry to bow. Harry fell over.
"Oops. Sorry ..."
He picked himself up.
Voldemort cast a cruciatus and Harry dodged by falling over again.
he cast his statioportus at a pebble, his mind not really connecting with reality, and that being the last proper spell he had thought about in his fugue state.
He put his wand behind the pebble and flicked it with the tip of his wand, casting the pebble hopping charm at the same time.
"Hoppity". The pebble sprang in the general direction of Lord Voldemort while a dozen others were magically skipped at him.
Voldemort shielded himself, but the shield only stopped magically propelled projectiles. One stone got through, flicked from the end of Harry's wand.
It stuck. It froze the Dark Lord mid-thought and triggered the portkey to the place Harry had visualised when he cast the spell.
As he finally lost consciousness from the venom in his blood, the medical portkey he wore around his neck triggered, taking him back to Hogwarts.
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Communication from Lunar Archeological Expedition, June 2157.
From:
Cdr Frederick Montressore, Mission Archaeologist
To:
Admiral Johnson, Mission Command.
Subject:
Apollo 12, Historical Landing Site.
Admiral, we have discovered the space-dessicated remains of a non-human located some 50 metres from the base of the LEM.
The remains are humanoid and somewhat reptilian in appearance. The lack of a space suit and the evidence of explosive decompression suggest that this race hay have access to force-field technology, and that said protection failed catastrophically.
Lieutenant Potter has bagged up the remains for return to SpaceLab 5 for examination.
End of message.