A/N I just want to say, that this fic started from an idea I had for a Draco/oc story...

Some Things Are Regrettable

I knew if I saw her again I wouldn't be able to go through with it.

I imagined her safe in bed Corvus curled up with her.

We were strong together.

She would be able to go on without me.

This was just another challenge. If there was someone who could bounce back from something this bad, it was Leandra. She could build a new life. She could love Corvus enough for the both of us.

I trusted her. She will understand. She will forgive me.

The door to my childhood home opened soundlessly. I stepped into the dark hallway. "Muffliato," I pointed my wand upwards. I couldn't wake my parents. The gas-lamps steadily lit up all along the walls. With a sweep of my wand they died again. I closed the door, immersing myself in total, silent darkness.

"Lumos." The light glimmered on the hallway chandelier. I hurried to the end of the hall, but stopped. What should I do first? Should I get it over with? I only had some much time to act.

But I didn't want to leave her and Corvus with nothing. I wanted to leave something, so they will know I'm with them, forever. I came into the drawing room. The long, high-ceilinged room I grew up with. Though the light from my wand was feeble, everything was illuminated for me. Everything was exactly the same since the day I was born. Sirius use to complain about that, and I sometimes thought it annoying too. But now it helped me calm down.

I went to my mother's stationary, taking two sheets of paper and a quill. I sat down, turning a gas-lamp on low. The first letter was for Corvus. He'll read it when he was ready. My breathing became heavier. I swallowed. He would be miles away when he reads this. He won't even remember my face, will he?

My eyes were tearing up. I stopped to wipe my eyes. It was awkward and wrong to write a letter like this. He was my son. He was just one year old. But here I was, trying to communicate with him in the future. Leandra will keep him safe. He won't become a stranger. He'll be the same. He'll have that same spirit. I forced my hand to steady to write the letter.

Leandra's letter was worse. I could go on forever trying to explain to her what she meant to me. She knew me the best. She knew that I never liked writing letters. They were a chore unless they were for her. But this one was different. There was too much weight on this one.

"Less is more," I choked. Breaking the silence around me helped. Letting the tears roll down did too. I wrote my sparse lines. She could read between the lines. She knew me.

I folded the parchment and slipped them into envelopes with their names on it. Of course I thought about leaving something for my parents. But they won't find any resolution in a letter.

Before I left, I remembered one last person who had to be told the truth. I wrote a third letter.

To the Dark Lord

I know I will be dead long before you read this
but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret.
I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can.
I face death in the hope that when you meet your match,
you will be mortal once more

R.A.B

"I always liked your style," she'd said.

Outside across our garden there was an owl-shed. I crept across the wet grass. The storm was dying down, moving south from the feel of the wind. All that was left was a weak drizzle and the smell of rain. These were perfect conditions for sliding. Sirius and I would come sprinting out of the house after a rainstorm and we'd slid on our stomachs across the sleek grass. It would completely destroy the grass. Sometimes our father would fix the mess we'd made before mother came to investigate.

I picked one of our owls. "Bring these to my house in Bristol," I told the owl. It was a beautiful snow-owl. I set it loose. Its white form soared until I lost sight of him

Kreacher slept under the boiler in a cupboard off the kitchen. I made sure everything was as it had been before I snuck downstairs. As I came to the basement landing, I turned left abruptly. I came to the stone door that led to my father's private study. My hand touched the rough stone door. It was exactly like the door that guarded the Slytherin commons. You needed a password to pass in there as well.

Inside there was the pensieve I filled months ago. If someone saw those, they could follow my path. My father would know to look here first to find out what happened to me. I couldn't have that.

The last time I entered his study the password had been Nigellus. My great-great grandfather's middle name. I vaguely remembered during my childhood I heard him slip in here after dinner and the password had been Belvina. She was my great-aunt I think. The trend seemed to be names of relatives.

"Arcturus," I tried.

Nothing.

"Pollux."

Nothing again. I let my hand drop. I had to get in there.

"Corvus," I said my son's name. My stomach clenched at saying it aloud.

The door slid open. This would be the first time I ever entered this room alone. I stepped in. His basement study was small, with a low ceiling. A single round greenish lamp hung from the center of the ceiling.

There were two bookshelves that covered half the walls. To the side of the door was his desk. On the last wall was a glass cabinet. Wedged in the corner between a bookshelf and the cabinet was the marble basin that held all my precious and tortured memories.

I tapped my wand on the rim, "Evanesco."

The silvery liquid vanished. No one would know. No one else will follow me.

It was important that I find something to replace the Horcrux. There was no telling if the Dark Lord will be able to sense it's theft. I didn't want him to have the time to make another Horcrux before the prophecy is fulfilled. He had to believe he was safe until it was too late.

I went to the glass cabinet. I opened one of the drawers, looking for something that matched the description Kreacher gave of the Horcrux. A golden locket. I rummaged through another drawer, and then opened the cabinet doors. I was going to give up, to search somewhere else in the house, when I found a velvet jewelry box. I opened it. Inside was a golden locket.

It was small, with no markings on it. I pulled out the parchment with the Dark Lord's letter and folded it up tightly. Opening the locket I wedged the message into place where a portrait should have been. I snapped it shut. I didn't even think whom the locket could have been meant for.

I left my father's study. Everything inside was as it was before my entrance. I went into the kitchen, stalking through the large cavernous room. I found the boiler and knelt beside it. I gently knocked. "Kreacher," I called. The house-elf crawled out from underneath. His eyes blinked sleepily.

"Master Regulus? Did Kreacher over sleep? Are you here for breakfast?"

"No, Kreacher, you didn't do anything wrong," I assured him. Something was caught in my throat. I swallowed. "I-I need you, Kreacher. Remember when you helped the Dark Lord?"

"Yes," he said timidly, his ears folded back like a frightened dog. His large eyes look haunted at the mentioning of it.

"I need you to take me to the cave, Kreacher," I told him. I held out my hand.

"Master Regulus wants to go to the cave? But Master Regulus, it is not a nice place, and Mistress would not like Kreacher to bring Master Regulus there…"

"Kreacher, please, this is important. This is something I have to do, and you're the only one who can help me," I said. He looked honored, but he still hesitated to take my hand. He finally did, and bowed his head sadly.

"As Master Regulus wish," he muttered. We spun on the spot; my childhood home vanished from sight.

I was standing on the same cliff I was summoned to on my birthday. It was colder than last time, but the sky was lighter. The stars were fading, as the sun was due to rise.

"Well?" I looked at Kreacher, still holding his hand. Kreacher stepped forward and knocked on the sealed entrance. An arched outline appeared, blazing white as if a light was behind it. "Good, Kreacher, now take me inside-"

"No, Master Regulus, Kreacher not open the door yet," Kreacher told him. "When Kreacher came with Dark Lord, Kreacher told he must make payment to the Dark Lord's cave. Kreacher must give blood." I was aghast at the crudeness of it, and slow to react as Kreacher's hand slipped out of mine and he bit into it.

"Kreacher!"

But it was too late; his hand was dripping with thin drops of blood. He smeared it across the rough stone entrance. The blood was absorbed by the outlined archway and turned into a real opening.

Before I entered I used my wand to seal the bite marks on Kreacher's hand. "You tell me what needs to be done, Kreacher," I ordered him.

We walked through the archway and stood on the edge of a black lake. The lake stretched on forever, and the ceiling was so high I couldn't see the top. Leandra had said it was a large chamber. What it held had no mortality, it was unnatural, therefore the place it resigned in had to reflect that. She hadn't been able to tell me the details of the cave. A greenish light shone far away in what could be the middle of the lake. The darkness and silence of the place was oppressive.

Kreacher led me along the edge of the lake. He stopped after several paces and ran his hands over the stone floor, his hand closed in midair upon something I could not see. But then Kreacher pulled, and a coppery green chain appeared out of thin air, grasped in his tiny hands. The chain started to slide through his hands like a snake, recoiling itself on the ground. It pulled something out of the depths of the lake. A tiny boat broke the surface, as green as the chain and floated eerily towards where we stood.

"T-this is safe?" I asked him. Kreacher turned to me.

"Kreacher thinks so, Kreacher was safe on the boat with the Dark Lord," he said. "But when Kreacher drank the potion the Dark Lord gave him, Kreacher heard things move in the lake. Things that aren't safe at all."

"It's important we get that necklace, Kreacher, so if you have to, if those things in the lake try to stop us leaving with the necklace, I want you to leave at once. Alone and with the necklace, do you understand me?"

We climbed into the boat. Kreacher brought the chain onto the floor. I crouched since I could not comfortably sit. The boat moved itself towards the light. "Lumos," I let my wand's light cast on the black water underneath us.

Beyond the ripples carved by our passing boat, I saw something floating inches below the surface. It was marble-white and hallow.

My heart froze.

"Is Master Regulus okay? Does he want to go back now?" Kreacher asked me. I shook my head. I pulled my wand away. An inferius? I couldn't imagine that it was the only one in the cave..

The green light grew larger. The boat finally came to a halt at something. I raised my wand's light to see. There was a small island of smooth rock. The light was coming from a stone basin set upon a pedestal. The basin was full of the emerald potion Kreacher had told me of the night of my birthday.

I raised my wand once again, twirled it once in the air, but nothing happened. I had tried conjuring a goblet, but this place was unnerving me. I remembered that hallow, waxy face floating beneath the water.

I took a deep breath. This time I said the incantation aloud, to break the horrid silence bearing down on us. A wooden goblet appeared. I caught it.

"Does Master Regulus want Kreacher to drink it now?" Kreacher asked.

"No… I-I can do it."

Kreacher had said the potion gave him a lot of pain and he was dying of thirst when he returned home. Then again this potion could affect him differently than it would a human. But he hadn't been killed, and from Kreacher's tale it didn't sound like the potion was meant to.

"Kreacher, I order you to make sure I drink it all, okay?" I said, looking at him. He looked so torn. I turned back to the potion.

"Yes, Master…"

"And I want you to take the necklace out, and replace it with this one," I took out the other locket.

"Yes, Master." Kreacher held the necklace, hugging it to himself.

I plunged the goblet into the potion. I filled the goblet to the rim. Slowly I brought it to my lips, careful not to spill because my hands were trembling. I closed my eyes tightly and opened my mouth, pouring the potion down my throat.

It felt like thousands of scorched, hot razors tearing through me. The world spun in my mind and I saw a vague shadow.

"What do you think you're doing?" I heard Leandra's voice, unnaturally shrill. The silhouette turned to me. She laughed. "You're an idiot. A damn idiot."

I blindly plunged the goblet back into the basin. I drank it again. Her form turned lighter, I could see her face glowing. She was standing on the other side of the basin. Behind her were other people, but I couldn't see them yet. Her eyes shone strangely.

"You think this is impressing anyone?" she scoffed. "Please, you're a coward. The world will always remember you as that."

I groaned irritably. I refilled the cup and drank three more times. All the while she just laughed.

"You didn't even love me, I trained you to love me," Leandra proclaimed. "I got everything I needed from you. I'll send my brother after your parents now kill them so I can collect on your family's fortune. It belongs to me now."

"No… don't say that…" I heard myself say. But I couldn't feel myself say it. All I felt was the hot pain inside of me. It was like every drop crashed against my insides like iron spikes.

"Didn't you think it was too easy? I brought you into the Room of Requirement with a very brilliant plan in mind," she sneered. "Corvus was already planted inside of me, by someone else. By a real man."

"No... no!"

"Yes! Yes!" My body felt too heavy. I fell forward and felt something hard smash against my chest. I had fallen over the basin. My body contorted and my hand twitched when it went back into the basin with the cup. "Corvus belongs to Sirius. Did you really think I would give you the honor of taking my virginity? Ha! You blind fool. It was all one big plan, just like how I used you that night in our third year. Perfectly executed, flawless… like everything I do."

"It's not true. It's not-" I stopped speaking. As the edges of my vision blurred from the weight of pain, I saw something stepping out of the shadows behind Leandra. Something forced my hand into the basin and poured more of the potion down my throat. I drank, though my eyes kept on Leandra.

Lord Voldemort had come out of the shadows. With him were the others, all masked, but I knew instinctively who they were. Ascanius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus…

Leandra turned. She screamed in terror. "No! You did this to me, Regulus! You killed me, you fool!"

"You must learn from your mistakes, Regulus," the Dark Lord said in his high voice. "You know I will not let you do this without consequences. You once knew exactly the importance of subtlety."

Bellatrix grabbed Leandra by her hair. She screamed as Rodolphus used the Cruciatus curse on her. A line of fire leapt from Ascanius's wand. It curled around Leandra's flailing form. Her screams hurt my ears; they were throbbing and penetrating my mind.

A tiny voice spoke to me… "M-Master Regulus drink more… we're almost done, please finish drinking…"

"No! Kill me! Take me! Don't… not her, not her…"

"TAKE THE CHILD!" Leandra screamed. "Take him! Not me!"

The Dark Lord suddenly had Corvus in his arms. Corvus's eyes shone strangely and they were staring at me. He couldn't recognize me. There was no love behind his stare.

"Yes, I think we will take the child. All of Regulus blood must be hunted down," the Dark Lord said. "But you will die too, Leandra. It was your fault you let Regulus care for you so much. Ascanius, do it now."

The Dark Lord raised Corvus into the air.

"Sitis Excessum!" A silver bolt of light came from his wand and jumped into Corvus's chest. Now Corvus's screams joined his mothers. His body shuddered and his hands grabbed at the air, hoping to grab onto something that could save him. I watched his white, healthy skin become sallow. His flesh deflated, becoming wrinkled against his bones. His eyes bulged, his tongue rolled out, thick and swollen…

The world went black. The pain remained, but it turned into something else. It turned into a craving. I opened my eyes. I was on my back; Kreacher was over me, lightly shaking me.

"M-m-master Regulus? Please get up. Kreacher has the necklace," he said. "Kreacher switch them like Master said." I looked to where my dead son had been held. There was nothing there.

The pain was burning against the walls of my stomach. My throat felt parched. "Water…"

"Yes, Kreacher knows," he told me. He started to drag me to the water. "We drink and then go back home. We go back to Mistress and Kreacher will cook Master Regulus's favorite meal, Kreacher promise…"

I let him drag me to the edge. Water, water, I had to have water…

But the necklace, the Horcrux, it had to be destroyed. I pulled away from Kreacher. "No… Kreacher," I croaked, the back of my throat stinging, "Go, you have to go back home. Destroy the necklace."

"Kreacher will destroy the necklace, yes Master Regulus."

I tried to smile, my lips splitting from being so dried. "Don't tell anyone in the family about this. Destroy the necklace."

"B-but you come home too, Master Regulus?"

The worse was over. The potion hadn't killed me. I saw Corvus's shriveled corpse again. I heard Leandra's words still. But it wasn't true. All that was real was the pain. The physical…

I crawled to the boat and pulled myself onto it. Kreacher was watching me, still hesitant. I would get myself out of here.

I was so thirsty.

Without thinking I left my arm flop over the side of the boat. My hand submerged in icy water. It felt good. .

I forgot. I forgot about what was waiting within the lake. But it did not forget me.

A hand latched onto my wrist. It yanked me down. The boat violently thrashed. Kreacher panicked.

"GO!" I shouted back at him. My hand searched for my wand. Where was it? I pulled against the inferius. But then it gave a tug that was supernaturally strong and so sudden, that in my already weak state, it was enough to dislocate my shoulder instantly.

I screamed. It didn't sound like me. It sounded like some tortured creature. I saw Corvus in my mind again, the way his hands were grabbing at nothing as his body contorted.

"Master Regulus!"

Something sprung out of the water. An inferius landed on the other side of the boat. The boat threatened to capsize.

"Kreacher! Go! I order you to go!" I couldn't see him anymore. Another climbed onto the boat. It grabbed my neck. It tried dragging me into the water. Two more loomed over me, eagerly reaching for me. Water dripped off of them and onto me. I hated how my body betrayed me, because every time a drop touched my lips it was a false relief. I struggled; I fought as hard as I could.

My free hand found my wand.

The one that had my arm pulled again, this time more powerful than ever. The boat flipped over.

A rush of bubbles churned before my eyes and as they cleared, I found myself face to face with the inferius holding my wrist. It was a man's corpse. It's sunken, sightless eyes watching me.

Other white faces appeared, surrounding me in the darkness. Hands latched onto me. I felt my skin tear. Teeth sank into me. A hand wrapped its thin, hard fingers around my neck and squeezed viciously. I gasped… It was crushing me…

XXX

A door opened. He entered a white room set somewhere high. It was quiet. She sat with their child in her arms. They sat waiting for him. They sat before a large, opened window. They were bathed in warm light. She looked over her shoulder at him.

She smiled. He walked soundlessly to them. Standing over them, his child gazed up at him blissfully. They were bathed in the same light, as one. He held his hand out for his child. His tiny fingers intertwined with his. Her almond-shaped eyes were filled with love. She was radiant.

"We knew you'd be back."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You belong here, with us."