Odds And Ends
Disclaimer: Nope, Glee is whose it's supposed to be. As for Kurt and Finn…nah, so are they. Damn.
A/N: I think it's safe to say the world didn't end;) Again. And it was supposed to on my b-day, of all days! Also, that is why this is a bit late – I wanted to post this during the weekend but once all your family and friends decide you need to celebrate, there's nothing you can do;)
A/N2: As for 'Funeral'…gosh, this episode was such a tearjerker! I didn't expect much cheerfulness from an epi called 'Funeral' but still…this was heartbreaking. The only upside I find is that the talented Jane Lynch finally got something else to do apart from terrorizing NDs.
Still, I'll always like this episode, however sad it was, because it finally brought Finn and Kurt together! And reminded me why I love Furt so much – Finn's been kind of a douche-boat this season but Kurt really does bring out the best in him and when Finn's with him, he turns into this sweet and loveable person:)
Enjoy and spoilers for 'Funeral', of course.
Lesson Learned
Finn looked like his puppy bit him.
Kurt watched him with growing worry, fearing he might try to lay another punch into Jesse or just spontaneously combust out of rage as their new 'consultant' kept making fun of Finn's dancing and singing skills. At first Kurt had laughed with everyone because Jesse did kind of have a point but as he kept going, the countertenor felt his smile slide off his face. He knew how much heart and effort Finn put into becoming a better singer and dancer (and if he didn't, the complete mutilation of almost all the lamps in their house and neighbor complaints were there to remind him), and how seriously he took his male lead role in Glee. It was a struggle for him more often than not but he loved Glee and never gave up. Kurt admired that about Finn. And here was Jesse St. Douchebag marching in and wiping it all out in a matter of seconds.
Kurt felt like punching him himself. Then, thankfully, Jesse went on to share the Vocal Adrenaline's dance-till-you-drop-dead method and the countertenor relaxed a bit. Finn seemed to calm down, too. Still, when the class ended, he took off like his butt was on fire. Kurt sprung to his feet and launched after him.
"Finn!" he called but the other boy didn't hear or didn't care. Either way, Kurt wasn't letting this go. "Finn!"
Nothing. He let out an irritated sigh and quickened his pace, only catching up with the other boy in the parking lot.
"Finn, dammit!" he panted. "I'm talking to you!"
The taller boy whirred around, his backpack flying after him. "Kurt, I'm storming off! It doesn't really work when you come with me."
Kurt blinked, rendered speechless for a moment. Finn scowled.
"What do you want anyway?" he asked gruffly. "Come to make fun of me more?"
"I…what?" Kurt stuttered.
"I saw you laugh with everyone else when Jesse called me a pooping zombie."
Kurt had to pretend he was clearing his throat to keep himself from laughing again because the imagery was just...eerily accurate. He may not exactly love Jesse St. James but he had to admit the guy had a way with words. Specific, but still.
Finn didn't seem to appreciate that fact, however, and he crossed his hands with a pout.
"He didn't call you that," Kurt finally said when he was sure his voice wouldn't betray him. "-only your dancing."
"And singing."
Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry, Finn, but your sense of rhythm-" he let his voice hang, searching for the most gentle way to put it. "-leaves room for improvement."
"I know but I've been working so hard the last two years and I've gotten, like, way better!"
"Considering you didn't kill or maim me at the wedding? Yes, you have," Kurt agreed. "Then again, you broke Rachel's nose only two weeks ago."
Finn shot him a reproachful look. "That could have happened to anyone!"
"But it happened to you, Finn."
"Are you here to help me or to put me down even more?" the taller boy asked angrily, looking at Kurt challengingly.
The countertenor sighed. True, Finn didn't have the best voice or dance moves but if Kurt was honest with himself, his stepbrother more than made up for that in emotion and enthusiasm. The right technique and training were important but if there was no feeling behind it, music just fell flat and meant nothing. There were many technically perfect giants of singing but they still sounded like emotional dwarves. Then there were so-so singers that blew you away and had you soaring right with them emotionally. Kurt would take the latter any day. And that was what Finn was on the path to becoming, if his 'I Gotta Be Me' was any indicator. Finn, however, didn't have to know that or Kurt feared he'd stop practicing altogether. So the countertenor continued his good-natured teasing and calling Finn up on his infamous dancing and singing. Still, when Jesse St. James did it, he found he really didn't like it.
Finn may be a goofy, awkward giant but he was Kurt's goofy, awkward giant.
With that in mind, he met Finn's gaze and laid a hand on his elbow. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "You have my back, literally – we'll talk about the lurking in corridors when you think I don't see you later – but it should work both ways. We're brothers. We should stick together and look out for each other, and today I didn't do that for you."
Finn gazed at him levelly for a moment. His feelings had been hurt but the fact that Kurt felt bad enough about this to go after him and apologize pretty much made up for it in his head. Finn was protective of Kurt, especially lately, but he considered it normal and didn't want anything in return. Still, to know that Kurt also felt protective of him, was kinda sweet and really great. It showed how far they had come in the last two years. Still, he wasn't letting Kurt off the hook that easy.
"No, you didn't," he replied, his lips a thin line.
Kurt groaned. "You're going to make me do a full-on apology, aren't you?"
"Yup," Finn agreed. "And a full-on clean up of my room."
"Sorry but my biohazard suit is in cleaning and I'm not coming into your room without it," Kurt retorted wryly.
"You're funny," Finn said humorlessly.
Kurt sighed. "How about a tray of macadamia nut cookies?"
The taller boy narrowed his eyes at him. "With white chocolate chips?"
Kurt felt his lips twitch upwards. "Ok," he conceded. "But if the sugar count kills you, I had nothing to do with it."
Finn grinned. "Cool."
"So we're ok?"
The taller boy nodded. "I'm selling myself really cheap here but yeah, we're ok."
Kurt smiled. "And Jesse? He's a douche," he said with a grin. "I felt like hitting him myself," he admitted.
Finn sniggered. "I'd have paid to see that."
The countertenor rolled his eyes. "I'll see you at home," he said turning to the Navigator, which was parked a couple of spots further.
Finn didn't reply but there was that lopsided smile on his face, and Kurt knew he just had an idea and he probably wouldn't like it.
"Race you?" he asked.
Yes. Definitely one of those ideas.
"Finn Hudson, I am most definitely not going to indulge in some macho games for little boys."
"Cause you know you'll lose, Mr. Look-it's-a-sixty-limit-so-lets-drive-fifty," Finn said teasingly.
Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "You couldn't drive more than sixty even if you tried in that tuna can of yours. I think if you'd get out and push it, you'd move faster."
Finn eyed him for a while, but decided that not raising to the bait was the best tactic.
"Then you've got nothing to lose," he said cheerfully.
"What are you up to, Finn?" Kurt asked suspiciously.
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Apart from kicking your ass for laughing at me, I have no anterior motive."
"Ulterior, Finn," the countertenor corrected automatically.
"Right. So, are you a chicken, Kurt?" he asked teasingly.
The smaller teen squeezed the car keys he was holding in his palm tighter. "You're gonna lose, Hudson."
"Bring it on, Hummel."
XxXxXxX
Finn won (using shortcuts wasn't cheating!) and gloated all next day, to Kurt's growing irritation, and he would have all week, had it not been for the staggering news that hit the Glee Club the next day. The death of Jean Sylvester resonated with the two boys deeply and they found themselves working together preparing the funeral in unusual agreement and mutual understanding during that sad week.
Well, at least until they got to the decorations.
"What is this again?"
"Finn, have you never been to kindergarten?"
"I have but we had plasticine not this weird stuff," the taller boy huffed. Then his eyes lit up with curiosity. "Is it really salty?"
"Don't-" Kurt began but Finn had already put some of the salt dough in his mouth. "-eat it," he finished with a sigh.
Finn coughed and spat the dough out, his eyes watering. "Ugh, it's disgusting!"
Kurt merely raised an amused eyebrow as he watched him.
"How did we even end up doing this?" Finn asked reproachfully, still coughing every other word. "You know I'm no good at this kind of stuff," he moaned looking at the kitchen table, which was laden with the dough, some molds and a myriad of paints they were painting the Willy Wonka mushrooms with.
Kurt looked critically at the mushroom Finn was working on. "So true," he sighed, putting the last touches on his own perfectly shaped toadstool. "The girls took the flowers and the chocolate fountain, Artie and Sam are making the photo slide show and the rest is dealing with the invitations. For you, I figured this would be the safest bet," he said with a sigh. "I obviously didn't count in the fact you'd start eating the decorations," he added pointedly.
"Well, I am hungry," Finn stated with a grin.
"You've eaten a whole tray of muffins!" Kurt said incredulously. It never ceased to amaze him just how much food his brother could put into his body and not explode.
"That was like, an hour ago!"
Kurt blinked. "For the sake of my nerves and sanity, I'm just going to ignore you from now on," he uttered and went on to a new mushroom.
Finn sighed and tried to get back to work but he couldn't really focus. Jean Sylvester, Rachel, the Coach, Jesse St. James and Quinn all jostled and fought and bumped against the inside of his head.
Kurt looked up to see Finn painting his own hand green with a blank expression on his face. He raised an eyebrow.
"Finn, you alive in there?" he asked, not unkindly. "And I think your hand's green enough."
The other boy's head snapped up. "Oh, crap," he said absent-mindedly and went to wash his hand in the sink.
Kurt watched him with a worried frown. He knew this was affecting Finn just as much as it was himself, however hard the other boy tried to conceal it. Just because he didn't remember his father didn't mean he missed him any less, or that his loss was less significant. Maybe it was slightly easier but the pain was still there and it never really went away. Kurt knew something about that.
"I don't get her," Finn finally said sitting back at the table, shaking Kurt out of his small reverie. "Jean was like, the person the Coach loved most in the world. Why wouldn't she want to keep everything that reminds her of her sister?"
"Precisely because of that, Finn," Kurt said softly.
The taller boy looked at him blankly. "But why? We kept like, everything about my dad. For sixteen years his urn sat in his armchair and in the night my mom would take it to bed with her and talk to him."
"And my dad had my mom's toothbrush and all her clothes all these years," Kurt agreed with a nod. "And I still have the broken dresser."
"I know," Finn said patting his shoulder gingerly. "It reminds you of her and makes you feel better. So why does the Coach want all of these memories gone?"
Kurt sighed. "Because all these memories? They can also make you feel worse, Finn. When you think of what you'll never have again-" his voice hitched in his throat and he needed a moment. "They can be really painful," he finally said. "Especially when you lose someone in such an unexpected way. You're unprepared and vulnerable. And the Coach can't even really share this with anyone. You had your mom, I had my dad, and they had us but Sue…now that Jean is gone, she's alone in the world. Maybe she doesn't want to be reminded of that."
Finn shook his head. "The Coach was right. How is any of this fair?" he asked angrily. "Jean, your mom, my dad – they didn't deserve to die so early."
"Finn, I don't have an answer for you," Kurt said after a moment, a shadow passing over his eyes. "Honestly, I'm just as mad as you are."
"Mad at what?"
"The universe?" he returned, his eyes shining with unshed tears. But his voice stayed strong. "I guess that's why I first started doubting the existence of God. What kind of entity can take away the best and sweetest people so early but leave the meanest and worst to grow old in health and wealth? How does that make sense? How is it fair?"
"It's not," Finn said somberly.
They both remained silent for a moment. Kurt feared this was soon going to turn into a sobbing fest, and he'd had more than enough crying in the last days and weeks, so he took a deep breath and reached out to move a stray strand away from Finn's forehead. The other boy looked up at him, leaning into the touch slightly.
"What does make sense to me-" he said in a different vein, forcing a teary smile onto his lips. "-is other people. No matter how hard it is and how much it hurts, if there are people around you who love you and care for you, you'll always make it through," he finished, his eyes brimming with the unsaid as he looked at Finn. "However irritating they can sometimes be."
Finn met Kurt's gaze. He was so flabbergasted that he almost missed the point when the other boy dipped his brush in red paint and purposefully ran it over Finn's cheek with a satisfied grin.
"Hey!" he protested. "Are we twelve?"
Inside, though, Finn felt relief wash over him. The questions and doubts were mind-boggling and he preferred not to think about them too much. He didn't really like where they led.
"One of us is," Kurt replied levelly, not in the least bit contrite, knowing his mood-breaking tactics worked.
The next five seconds were a blur ending in Kurt screeching rather impressively as a copious amount of yellow paint landed on his trousers. Silence followed but this time it was a silence before the storm.
"Um, sorry, dude," Finn said. "Almost really. But you should know better – me plus paint…"
"So it's my fault, Demolition Man?" Kurt glared.
"No…I mean, maybe a bit," Finn stuttered, slowly steering out of Kurt's reach. "I'll pay you back?" he asked weakly.
"These are $550 trousers, Finn," he said through gritted teeth.
"You paid 500 bucks for pajama bottoms?" Finn asked incredulously, eying the black-and-white (and now also yellow) skull-covered pants he'd seen Kurt wear to the audition earlier.
Kurt growled. "This is not pajamas! It's haute couture."
"Odd cotier or not, you should be thanking me," Finn replied trying to keep his cool even though he knew he should probably start running by now. "They're ugly."
"How about I thank you by setting fire to all of your flannel shirts?" Kurt growled.
"Dude, I'll dump maple syrup in your hair if you do."
Kurt's hand flew straight to his immaculately styled locks. "That's not funny, Finn."
"Yeah, it is," he grinned. "And I'm really sorry about the trousers."
XxXxXxX
Oh God. He tried to keep it together but this reminded him of his mom too much. He remembered watching her wither away into nothingness in her hospital bed day after day. He didn't know what was going on but he knew his mommy wasn't ok even though not once did she ever let Kurt see how much she was suffering. There was always a smile on her face when he was with her. And then one day when they came to visit, and Kurt had just gotten his first bike and daddy was teaching him how to ride it and he was so excited to tell her about it, she wasn't in her bed.
He never saw her again.
The only thing that stopped him from sobbing through 'Pure Imagination' was the fact that he had a solo in it. He kept reminding himself this was for Jean and Sue, and when the Coach mouthed a thank you, he was even able to muster a teary smile at her.
But that was it. He didn't think he could handle going to the cemetery and watching the coffin being lowered to the ground. He felt a sob bubble in his chest and he didn't have the strength to hold it back any longer…and then there was warmth spreading through his shoulder and he looked back to see Finn standing right behind him, an earnest understanding look in his eyes.
Finn gave him a reassuring smile. He was close to crying himself but Kurt's earlier words helped him pull together. He thought about the people he loved – his mom, Burt, Kurt – they'd been through everything, they'd been broken and put back together so many times and yet they were still there. Together. He knew that whatever came their way, they'd make through it, too. Kurt was right. It was the people that made it all bearable.
Kurt let out a shaky sigh and felt the sobbing subside. He reached his hand and put it over Finn's. No words were necessary.
Sue and Jean had taught them an important lesson today. The humanity, the real matter in life – to love and be loved.
Kurt smiled knowing he and Finn had passed this lesson this week. And as he looked at how far they had come, he knew they always would.
So, this is it, guys. I hope it wasn't too somber, I tried to break the mood here and there but considering the topic, this couldn't really be the usual…I do hope you've enjoyed this nonetheless! Don't forget to drop a review before you go:)
Also, I apologize to anyone who liked Kurt's pants in 'Some People' but they really did look like pajama bottoms and I personally didn't like them – the only redeeming feature were the bad-ass skulls (btw, those pants really do cost $550 retail!) – so I kinda thought I could have Finn-Destroyer-Of-The-Worlds do something to make Kurt not wear them again. Like, ever.
Ok, enough of long ANs, NY and Nationals coming next!