Just to clarify, in the previous chapters AnPOV refers to Annie's point of view, not Angela's. Sorry for the confusion. Also, apologies for taking so long with the update. This was a difficult chapter to write, I had many drafts. I've also just finished round two of midterms (two of which were on the SAME day). Hopefully progress will pick up. I hope you guys are ready for another chapter of angst – I wrote a lot of this during one of my psychology lectures which just so happened to be covering depression. I guess you can say that that left an underlying tone in this chapter. Either way, it was a hard one to write.

Enjoy

Trafficking

Chapter 36

BPOV

I could only sit, unmoving, watching in horror as I hurt my brother. I felt like my heart was being ripped out and crushed as I wounded Jasper. I was causing him pain, betraying my family.

As much as I begged my body to stop, it wouldn't listen. The hysteria that set off this catastrophe still flooded my body, fueling my godforsaken power, my curse. My ears rung as I heard a shrill female scream. "Oh God! Jasper!"

I recognized Alice's voice instantly, but instead of light and happy as it normally was, it was full of panic, fear, desperation, and I was causing that. I felt a new presence at my side and I could see Alice crouching next to her mate, her eyes full of unshed tears. I threw my head back as far as I could without breaking eye contact, almost as if an invisible barrier had stopped me. A guttural yet shrill scream erupted from my throat as the backlash of pain hit me. But it wasn't only my physical pain that caused me to cry out, it was emotional as well. The two were connected, intertwined like a gnarled knotted tree.

Alice was cradling Jasper's head in her lap, his eyes unblinking, staring straight at me, his beautiful face contorted in pain.

"Carlisle, do something!" Alice cried.

My muscles cramped as another wave of agony gripped my body and I gasped for unnecessary air. Jasper's cries echoed my own as he writhed in Alice's arms.

"Bella, stop! You're killing him." The pain emanating through Alice's voice was unbelievable.

"I…ungh…I can't." I tried my hardest to pull my eyes away from Jasper's, to break the connection somehow. I would have clawed my eyes out if my hands were free. Arms wrapped around me and I collapsed into them, my shaking body sending tremors into the body that held me. I was panting, trying to find respite from the pain.

"Sweetheart, listen to my voice. Try to relax. Maybe if you relax, your mind will release you from this state."

Carlisle was kneeling in front of me, his voice sending shivers of comfort up my neck.

"Oh, Jasper." Alice was falling into a state of hysteria.

"What if we just pull them apart? Force them to break eye contact?"

"We can't risk it. We could end up making things worse."

Alice broke down into tearless sobs, clutching Jasper to her chest. "Han on Jazz. Try and fight this. Stay with me."

I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want to hurt my family. I loved Jasper. I loved my family.

My body numbed. What just happened? Just moments ago I was screaming in agony and now it was gone, the pain was gone. What changed? I already knew I didn't want to hurt my family. I loved them. Love was the key.

"That's it sweetheart. Pull yourself back."

I felt Carlisle's tender hands stroking the length of my cheek. My ability to move was slowly coming back to me and I could finally close my eyes, something I did gratefully to relieve my aching head and my blurry vision. I swallowed and cleared my throat, my voice raspy. "Jasper."

I urged Dad to go to Jasper, his well-being was more important right now. I watched from Edward's arms as Dad more or less examined Jasper, opening his closed eyes, calling his name. Neither of which elicited a response.

"We should get him home. I doubt there is much I can do, but home would be the best place for him."

Emmett lifted a limp Jasper into his arms and carried him to the Jeep, securing him in the straps before taking off, with Alice of course, for the house. The clearing fell to an uncomfortable silence and I could feel all eyes upon me. I had never felt more ashamed in my life.

Pulling myself from Edward's arms I stood shakily, not even to stand fully upright. Looking around I saw four beautiful concerned faces staring back at me. I knew that concern couldn't be for me. I didn't deserve it. I squeezed my eyes tightly, holding back sobs.

"I'm so sorry." My small, pitiful attempt at an apology came out no louder than a whisper, but I knew they heard it. Before any of them could stop me, I darted into the forest and ran, slower than I would have liked thanks to my exhaustion. I hoped no one came after me, they would easily be able to catch up.

I ran until I physically exhausted myself to the point of collapse. I sank to my knees, the wetness of the leaves soaking through my pants. I buried my head in my hands in attempts to try and shut out the outside world. My chest heaved with sadness, horror, anxiety. Humiliation.

I was a horrible person. More of a monster than Edward or anyone else in my family claimed to be. Only the worst types of people couldn't control themselves, couldn't prevent themselves from attacking their own family. I caved in and allowed the torrent of sobs that had built up to escape, running free through the large forest.

I dreaded returning to the house, but where else would I go? I was a newborn after all, clearly not to be trusted and toting around an unharnessed power. Slowly I made my way to my feet, tired, achy, mentally and physically spent. I dragged myself back to the house. If I had a heartbeat it would have been thumping wildly. I opened the front door as quietly as possible, though I knew it wouldn't make a difference – they would all hear me either way.

I passed the living room, freezing when I realized the family, minus Jasper, was sitting in it. A fresh wave of shame flooded my body as I bit back a sob and ran upstairs. I was headed to my room, my old room. But I needed to see Jasper first.

I paused at the slightly open door of his and Alice's room. I peeked in, too scared of what I might see to burst in there. That small glimpse was more than enough – I know I'll never forget it. Jasper lay sprawled on the bed, his blond curls fanned in haphazardly across the pillow. I'd never seen him with his eyes closed before. It was so odd, eerie. And it was all my fault.

"I'm so sorry Jasper."

I quickly withdrew from the room, unable to torture myself any longer. I threw myself in my room, closing and locking my door – as if that would do anything. After spending so much time in Edward's room, my own room felt so unfamiliar, everything still exactly how I left it. I climbed onto my bed and curled up on my side, wishing now more than ever that vampires could sleep. I wanted nothing more than to escape this nightmare.

I stroked the smooth bedspread, allowing the sensation to calm me somewhat. I nearly screamed when there was a knock at my door.

"Bella, may I come in?"

It was Edward. I couldn't face him right now, I couldn't face anyone right now.

"Please leave."

A small spark of satisfaction shot through me when I heard Edward jiggle the door handle, cursing when he realized it was locked.

"Love, please." He shook the door handle again. "You know I can just break the door right?"

I didn't answer. I really didn't want to talk to anyone. I felt as if my mind was slowly slipping into a haze – a blanket of comfort that would protect me from having to deal with my family, with my own thoughts. Some might call this depression.

EPOV

Bella had stopped answering me and hadn't unlocked the door. I saw how distraught she was when she returned home, I wanted nothing more than to comfort her. I didn't feel as if I had any other choice and though I knew she would probably get angry with me, I broke her door handle regardless.

I found my Bella curled up on her bed, seemingly unaware to my entrance. "Bella?"

She didn't move. I walked over to her nervously – I didn't want to be caught off my guard. Even as I approached her, she didn't move. I knelt at the side of the bed, taking her small hand in my own. I noticed her eyes were closed, which under normal circumstances would have disturbed me. But she had just used her power, and quite frankly I was surprised she had lasted as long as she did without some sort of rest.

I gazed down at her pale, slightly parted lips. Unable to help myself, I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to hers. Bella's eyes fluttered open, reveling semi-golden orbs. I was elated to see her, awake and in one piece.

"Hello love."

A look of confusion flashed across her face before she groaned, rolling over onto her other side, away from me. I sighed, all hope of an easy reconciliation flying out the proverbial window.

"No one is angry with you." I reached out to rub her arm, but Bella snatched it away from me.

"I'm angry with me," she snarled. "Just…go.

The sadness in her voice was incredible. I hated seeing her in such pain. "Bella, p-"

"Go."

I couldn't disobey her wishes. It hurt, the fact that she didn't want me around her. My emotional, head-over-heels, in love with Bella side thought the worst, that maybe she didn't love me, didn't feel she needed me. But my rational side had a stronger voice, one of reason that I forced myself to listen to. She was confused and scared. She needed space. She wasn't used to being able to turn to anyone for help.

I slowly got up wishing she would at least allow me to kiss her, but restrained myself. "I'll be downstairs, with the rest of the family, if you need me."

As I expected, there was no response.

Retuning my mind with the rest of the house, scattered thoughts of Jasper entered and exited quickly in no particular order. Alice rushed past me, followed by Carlisle, both running into Alice's and Jasper's room. Curious, but wanting to give them space, I followed but resided in the doorway. Jasper was awake, his eyes finally open, and sitting up in the bed. He looked confused, and perhaps he was the reason I myself was a bit perplexed.

Alice was at her mate's side in an instant. "Jazz! How do you feel?" She reached out and pulled back a few curls of unruly locks from Jasper's face, searching his face intently for a clue to his condition.

"I'm okay. I feel heavy and tired, but okay. Is…is Bella…"

I was touched by Jasper's concern for Bella when his own health should have been the more pressing matter. I spoke up before anyone else could answer.

"She's very upset, to say the least. She won't even let me stay in the room, let alone talk to me. But physically she okay."

Jasper nodded, sat back and closed his eyes in a grimace like fashion. His thoughts swiftly ran through my mind and I nearly jumped from the doorway and ripped him to pieces.

"You can't!" I wasn't about to let anything stand in the way of Bella getting better.

"Edward, please. You have no idea. It's killing me, her emotions are all over the place. And the depression, my god. It's overwhelming. I'll go insane and I won't be able to keep you guys from following me."

"And Bella would think it was her fault making her even more depressed! You can't-"

"Will someone please clarify as to what you two children are arguing about?"

Everyone stopped talking, surprised at the tone of voice Carlisle had just spoken with. In all his years with Carlisle, he had never heard him raise his voice, or use any tone harsher than a disapproving one. This was a surprise.

I pinched the bridge of my noise and exhaled loudly, trying to relieve some of the tension that currently haunted my body.

"Jasper wants to leave until Bella gets a handle on things. But that's only going to make things worse! Bella is only going to feel guiltier, more inadequate."

I pleaded silently with Carlisle. He had to understand where I was coming from.

"I think Jasper's right. I think, not only for his behalf but ours as well, he and Alice should leave for a little while. Bella will understand."

Never in my life had I wanted to rip something apart so badly, I could feel my body shaking with anger.

"Ungh, Edward!"

Jasper curled upon himself on the bed, besieged by not only Bella's rampant emotions but mine as well. Sparing him and the rest of my family any more grief, I ran from the house into the neighboring woods.

Just weeks ago we had been so happy, thriving in the new environment Bella had brought to our home. Now...now...why did I feel as though my family was falling apart?

AN: Leave it to me. Haha, no, seriously. Help me out and honor me with your thoughts etc.

-lmbrtvll