title: breathe slow
pairing: eventual SasuSaku.
dedication: To Sara, coz she gets what I mean without a need of explanation. And to my wonderful reviewers.

notes: So, here's the thing. I recoiled away from this story coz I got in a bit of a problem with it; but now, I think I've solved it. There... Will be a sequel to breathe slow. I normally don't like sequels, but its kind of needed for this one. Because, for one, Sasuke's still kind of, y'know, unstable and we're nearing the end. And for two, the SasuSaku-ness. I'm trying to stay realistic as humanly possible and with what is left of breathe slow, it won't be enough to get their relationship to hit the point we all want. So, yeah! I hope you guys will still stick with me, with these news. :)

x

breatheslow

Evening came and Sasuke was, yet again, sitting around a fire.

Fires were so common when out on missions. When out on wars.

But that wasn't what was plaguing Sasuke's mind, that night. And it wasn't Ino's eyes gleaming knowingly or Sai and his sketching. And it wasn't his family or the past or the betrayal. It was something different, this time; almost a month, if not two or three or forever, and something entirely different was nibbling at his brain slowly, slowly and surely.

Before he'd left.

The camp, the east camp, before he left...

...That had been a bond at the start of mending, hadn't it?

Naruto and he.

Of course... It was. It had to be, he decided, poking at the fire with a twig. That's just the way it had always been; Naruto was all too forgiving and so utterly stupid.

It'd only taken one confrontation to get them on this term; on this track.

(You're being hopeful, again, Sasuke! It's so nice to watch.

You're growing up.)

But was he really?

Sasuke could still feel anger and resent, oh so strong within him and engraved - burned and stitched and injected into his veins. Quiet as they might be now, dormant, even, as he was allowed to finally coherently function, the two poisonous feelings still coursed within him, like a snake; slithering and hunting for the right moment.

So, if anger and resent still gripped him so firmly, has he really grown?

Sasuke couldn't find an answer.

He let out a sigh, through barely parted lips, and blinked his eyes. The flames were bright and powerful; orange and red and yellow and blue. It grew and crackled as he picked at it, absentmindedly, warming him and his teammates almost deliciously.

It was starting to get cold.

Perhaps autumn was approaching; maybe even winter. Sasuke didn't even know what time of year it was; not even the day, other than it being the same as the one before and the one to come.

He picked at the fire, some more, shifting in his seat so that he was on the dirt ground and the log he'd been perched on could work as a back recliner. His stomach growled, but they had no food to eat and it was too dark to go into the woods and find something; berries or fruit or a river with fish.

Huh, rivers with fish.

Rivers with fish made his mind automatically think of years behind where three twelve year olds were on their own, in a deadly forest, looking for food. One of the three, a stupid blond, was in the water, throwing a fish at a stupid arrogant fool and a meek girl worked at a fire, not too far.

Sasuke's lip twitched, at the side.

But that was a long time ago, Sasuke mused. Now, those three twelve year olds in a deadly forest were seventeen and at war.

(With yourselves.)

"I want to go home," Ino finally whispered.

The silence cracked and through the cracks a soft wave of homesickness seeped in.

Sasuke didn't have a home.

He was brought back to Konoha, but was that really home? If he felt the homesickness, and agreed with Ino, what home was he referring to? The Uchiha Compound, his old apartment, Orochimaru's deserted bases or the cottages and the woods he's been at?

(Home is where the heart is, they say.)

But then, where was his heart?

Sasuke never really realized how little he knew about himself. His life had been so built around his goals, he never really properly paid attention to anything else he did, rather left his body and his mindset at the hands of something like impulse. Now, that he tried to grasp his sanity, he didn't really have anywhere to hold on to.

(Team Seven, Sasuke.

Hold on to them.)

"Hey, you know what we should do when we head back home," Ino went on, voice rising and eyes glinting with excitement. "We should... Eat. We should eat; all of us. Together."

Sasuke and Sai spared each other a glance before turning back to her, with Sasuke still poking at the fire and Sai still holding on to his brush.

One of them was going to reply; one of them was going to ask her something.

A conversation would have started.

But then there was something like an explosion; something like a blast. Unexpected, and brilliantly concealed until the right moment to perform it.

It was dark; the stars were out, the moon was full and it was dark; the fire was put out with the attack and a thick wall of dust and smoke covered them, blinding them unjustly. Sasuke was breathing hard, coughing, slightly, and looking around with his Sharingan activated.

He couldn't see his teammates physically but it was something calming to see and feel their chakra.

"The hell's going on," he heard Ino hiss, heard her shift.

"Shh," he and Sai hissed, in sync.

"Sasuke," Sai murmured, it was so quiet and Sasuke was so alert, Sai sounded like he was yelling, "Can you see who has attacked us?"

Well, Sasuke said in his head, their only enemy.

Zetsu.

But nevertheless did he look around the thick smoke and tried to decipher or catch the enemy. They stood there, what they supposed and hoped was back to back, waiting and relying on Sasuke; it felt like forever and a half and Sasuke's nerves were recoiling and triggering his anger.

He felt blind and useless.

Until—

That chakra was familiar

That familiar chakra was coming at him with a speed that insinuated an attack. Sasuke opened his mouth, most probably to say something. But then something whirling and blue became visible. And Sasuke's mouth was still opened, his arms raising but feeling so heavy and useless.

His knees bent, preparing for a counter attack; or at least to evade.

But then, like slow motion, Sasuke saw the unmistakable Rasengan reach him; felt it hit him, felt it pierce at his middle, felt the wind as it hissed and bit at him as he flew back, felt the pain at colliding with trees. Felt a lot of things and wondered others.

And then it was black.