The Mentors

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Day Six; Part One

Garland "Garl" Riggs (D12)

The revelation of Quinn and Damon's relationship has shaken me, for some reason. Maybe it's because I had no idea and I should have guessed. I shrug off the feeling. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm happy Quinn told me, but I don't like knowing.

If someone ever asks, I can't really lie. I don't particularly like lying, and I avoid it in anyway possible.

I used to lie all the time, whenever there was a need for it, but I eventually fell out of the habit. Lying isn't going to help, I had finally realized, someone is always going to figure me out. If I would have told the truth, it would have been easier for me a lot of times in life. The person wouldn't have been as mad if I would have told the truth right then and there.

I'm sad to say most of the time it was my wife- well, if it makes it sound any better, she wasn't my wife then- that I lied to.

A pang of homesickness washes over me. I miss my wife and kids. I miss District Twelve, as hard as that may be to believe. I even miss the smell of coal, which is hard to do, trust me.

I always worry about my family. All of them. I worry about my wife's health, LR's pregnancy, Darius' wife's lack of pregnancy, and Riley . . . Well I'm always worried about Riley.

He's our problem child, and always has been since the moment he was born.

Darius was always hard-working and quiet, he never gave us anything to worry about. Or maybe he was just sneaky, I don't know. LR was always the funny little girl, and she's never changed. Other than she developed sarcasm.

Riley has always been different than the others. He was a colicky baby and a naughty child. Then he turned into a womanizer. It was so hard on Alma, considering he didn't even try to cover it up. If there was one thing we instilled into Riley, it was to always tell the truth. And he did. Good or bad.

We have had many screaming matches, and all have left me feeling like a horrible parent. LR and Darius were always unhappy with everyone's animosity at the dinner table. Riley would be mad at me, I would be mad at him, and Alma couldn't decide who to be mad at.

I push the old days from my mind. It only makes me angry at myself and right now, I don't need that. I'm already mad enough at myself for letting my tributes die, yet again. "Damn it."

"Well," a voice says, sounding slightly humored. I look up to see Quinn. She's the only person who ever comes by to say hello when I'm here. The rest have their own favorites.

I smile. "Good morning."

"I'd say the same, but it doesn't seem like you're having a good one." Quinn grins. "What are you thinking about, Garl?"

I frown. "Family."

"Ah," Quinn says, with a knowing smile. "Family is always the worst."

"It is," I agree quietly.

"I've never actually heard about you're family. What are they like?"

"Well, there's Alma, my wife. She's a real nice lady, never said a bad word against anybody. She loves to tease me about being old, of course. I have three children. My oldest is Darius, he's twenty-five and married to a very nice woman named Anna. He's quiet, but likes to joke around when he's in the right mood. Lily-Rose is my next child. We call her LR. She's twenty-three, and married to the mayor. His name is Case and they're having a baby."

"That's great!" Quinn exclaims. "How far along is she?"

"About five months," I reply. "She's ecstatic."

"Well, what about you're youngest?" Quinn demands.

"Riley. He's twenty-two and . . . a womanizer. He's trying to get the baker's daughter to fall in love with him, currently. I think it's taking a little longer than he thought it would."

"So he's that kind of boy," Quinn teases, poking me in the side. "Nice."

I shrug, trying not to comment about my son's love life.

"So what's Lily-Rose thinking about naming the baby?" Quinn asks suddenly. I can tell she's trying to change the subject before I reveal something I shouldn't.

"For a girl I think Acuba," I reply, wrinkling my nose at the name. If it's a girl, then I will be calling her by her middle name. "And Saffron for a boy." Of course, she would pick a common name for one and an unusual one for another.

"Acuba? That's . . . nice."

I shake my head. "Sometimes I wonder about her . . ."

Quinn laughs. "That's not nice, Garl."

"I didn't mean it to be nice," I say, while rolling my eyes. "But being serious, I hate that name so much."

"What is her middle name going to be?" Quinn asks.

"I think it's something like Sue." I roll my eyes. "Not the best one either."

Quinn laughs so hard, I start to believe she's going to pop a blood vessel. "That . . . is so . . . funny."

"Not really . . ." I say, trailing off, as she laughs even harder. "I don't think it's funny that my oldest grandchild will have a shitty name. What am I supposed to do with Acuba? Call her Cuba? Cubie? Sue?"

"Personally," Quinn remarks after she contains herself. "I am in love with the name Sue."

Ivo Wright (D1)

I hate not being able to speak. It's not the most fun thing that all I have to do is watch the end of the Games. I comfort myself with the fact that the Games will be over soon though. It seems like it'll be done in two days at they very most.

"So, Ivo, who are you thinking?" Ronny asks.

I give her a confused glance, wanting to go to sleep.

"Who do you think will win?" Ronny clarifies.

I think about it and then point at the District Two girl who is on the screen trying to scrounge up some food from the remaining supply.

Ronny nods. "Everyone thinks she'll win. I'm holding out hope for one of the Elevens."

I shake my head. No one who's truly good ever wins.

She sighs. "It's a possibility. It's two to her one. And there's that Fern girl."

I roll my eyes, but pity is the only emotion I'm feeling. "That Fern girl" will most likely be dead by the end of the day. No one can do anything about it. In a different year, she might have had a chance, but not this one.

"I know, I know. She doesn't have a chance." Ronny shakes her head sadly. "It's certainly a bad situation. I wouldn't have her win, even if she could. She's . . . not the nicest person, if you haven't noticed. Well, neither is Laurel, but she's not as bad."

I don't give her the skeptical look I want to. Just because she's not a bitch now doesn't mean she's not going to be one after- if- she wins. She'll probably be worse then, considering someone she loved died. She could be worse than Dara.

Cue shudder.

No one could possibly be worse than Dara. I don't know what happened to that woman, but whatever it was she didn't have a good reaction to it. "Ivo? Are you even listening?"

I look up, a smile plastered across my face. She rolls her eyes. "What's wrong with you now?"

I shrug and she glares at me. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"

I shake my head with a grin. She groans. "You're a sucky Capitol friend."

I would ask what a "Capitol friend" is but I'm not sure I want to know. She sees my confused expression though. "It's, like, a friend who you only see when you're in the Capitol. You are my first. You should feel honored at the moment."

She sees my amused expression. "C'mon! Feel honored!"

I chuckle. I wish I could make a biting comment, but I can't. She smiles. "Well, I have to go. Some meeting with my escort. You know, I still can't remember that person's name. Why I have to meet with this person I don't know, but this isn't going to be fun. It'll be like getting a root canal fun."

I roll my eyes and motion her out. She always gets so into a conversation she forgets she has to do anything else. She gives me a half smile before leaving. The door closing sounds much louder than usual.

I look at the TV in boredom. Who all is left..? The Elevens . . . Anneliese . . . and Fern is all I can remember. I wonder about it for at least ten minutes, when I think of the name.

Miles. Isn't he Damon's tribute? I don't ever see much out of him. He's one of those smart tributes that no one ever thinks about winning.

Wait. No. He died, didn't he?

Yeah, he's dead.

I was not one of those like he was. I was from District One so even if I was young and mute, I still had some chance in the eyes of the Capitol. By the third week in the arena, I had quite the fan following, which I appreciated in the Games but I don't much like now. Fans coming up to you and gushing is annoying as hell. As Ronny put it "root canal fun."

Ronny comes back minutes later, tears running down her face. I give her a surprised look and she sobs into her hands. "The escort . . . she said . . . they know."

Shit.

I'm beside her before I can think about it, consoling her. From the crying she's doing I can tell she hasn't made a remarkable recovery from the dead person she was just days ago. She's hiding it all behind a happy facade so no one will worry. She's practicing for when she has to go home to Kallen. She doesn't want him to worry.

"They'll p-put it in the m-magazines!" she sobs into my shoulder. "And- And K-Kallen will see it!"

I pat her back, letting her cry all over me, hoping this will be comfort enough. It's not like I can say, "There, there. It'll all be okay."

One, because I don't talk. Two, because it won't be.

If Mahogany ever had a miscarriage- I shiver at the thought- and millions of Capitol people knew before me, I'd be so angry. But under all that, I'd be the saddest man on earth. Because, don't you feel bad when a friend doesn't tell you something about their lives?

Yeah, so how would you feel if something that was one-half you died and you didn't know about it first?

Dexter Kane (D3)

My "being positive" attitude flew out in the window in, like, five minutes. I'm not an optimist. Never have been. I've always be a pessimist, if you want to define me.

The only time I was ever somewhat optimistic was after I won the Games. I was always secretly in love with Diana, but too shy to tell her. When I won, though, I thought, "Twenty-three people just died and I could have been one of them. Life is too short to not actually live it."

So when I got home, I asked her on a date and we've been together ever since. Well there was that one time . . . I stop myself from thinking of our little fights that we've had. I was never the one to break up with her, even if she infuriated me half the time.

I've actually never broken up with anyone in my life. I mean, I'm not disappointed by the fact I've never broken anyone's heart. It's not like it was a dream of mine.

That would be rude.

I wonder what life would be like if I'd never asked Diana on that date. I can just imagine running into her at the town market. Diana would come over with her husband and I would ask how it's been. They would reply that it's been going swimmingly and inside a little prick of hope would die. Then Diana would ask if I was seeing anyone. I would reply no, wishing she would leave him for me.

I pull out of the small nightmare.

It would certainly be more quiet. I could get the complete silence I've been craving, I wouldn't have to worry about a child. I . . . I could be happily unhappy. And she could be with someone that wouldn't go emotionally dead on her like I did.

It's truly a mine field, being with a Victor. Nightmares, paranoia, sadism, irrational fears of common things, and the fact that you love someone who has killed. Horrifying.

I haven't ever killed anyone. Some Gamemaker pushed a button when he fell asleep at the control desk and it made an avalanche go off. It killed the last tribute in my way, I remember his name was Krane.

I vaguely recall hearing that the Gamemaker was burned at the stake. Not the best way to go.

I miss Diana. I miss being able to look at her and feel like she was the only reason I was living. I wasn't ever living for myself, it was always for her. "I miss her."

You always wonder about those little choices in life, no matter what happens. You can be extremely happy and still think, "Well I wonder if I would have made more light bulbs if I would have gotten that damn promotion."

It's a thing. All humans want everything they can get. And when they get it, they usually find it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

When I was young I fantasized about being rich. Look at me now. Richest man in District Three, but also the most terrified of them all. Sure, everyone is scared, but my child is ten times more likely to be reaped, my family could be killed at any moment, I have to get to know people who have a one in twenty-four chance of living through the next month.

I should tell myself to stop thinking about it, but I'd end up thinking about it again anyway.

So I just let it go on.