Sympathy for the Devil
The sensible thing to do would be to close her door and walk back inside, and lock it for good measure. Walk away from him same as the many times he did from her.
However Hilary knows that she can't. Maybe because it's him, and she never really could give up on him. Or perhaps that it's been oh so long that seeing him despite his state – and the stage in life they're at – is rendering her incapable to proceed using common sense.
"Have I ever told you I loved you?" He's slurring and she finds it difficult to ignore him. She wants to laugh at the irony of how Kai is just a decade too late.
He disappeared, without a trace, leaving no one aware of his whereabouts. For a first time, not even the Blitzkrieg Boys knew where he went off to. He just vanished without trace, from not only his so called friends, but also, the empire he was supposed to take over. Heck, even the fan girls couldn't track him down this time. The only confirmation that he was alive was that the money that slowly was credited from his account, the company was nevertheless his.
And for the first time Hiwatari Kai, with his constant peripatetic nature, vanished not to return for years to come. Leading even his most staunch believers to give up hope and move on… and to his misfortune, that with each other.
They are not in their late teens anymore, young and foolhardy, they are old and weary and time worn and she is married and has a child. Tyson can come out any minute. Does it make her guiltier than she already is that if the former world champion is to come out, he will be nothing but more happier than he has been in years – maybe the day they tied the knot – at seeing his old best friend. That for not even a second will he doubt his intentions for showing up out of the blue, and his wife's for accompanying him alone at their door.
The only thought that retains in Hilary's mind though, is they are both former world champions at this point. Not just Kai, but Tyson too. Now why did that little affirmation give her so much satisfaction?
"Mrs. Hilary Granger." He's practically yelling. His drunk, peeling laugh echoes through the front yard in the silence of the night. He's wiping away at his eyes, though she can't see any tears. "That's a riot."
She doesn't know what to say to him. Why is it that hearing the name even after so many years makes her cringe too? Kai saying it just makes it seem as nightmarish at is did all those years ago, when she finally agreed to date her best friend, putting the final nail on Kai's coffin in her head, when she finally moved on.
It isn't that she is unhappy with Tyson. She loves her little family, and she adores her little Makoto, but the past she shared with Kai was something far too huge a part of her to let go. And she had been making progress, Tyson's years of unyielding presence was slowly chipping away the impenetrable wall Kai left her around her heart.
But Kai is here, back like all those times. Except that he's drunk, in a right state, looking like something the cat dragged in, he probably is, and out of his mind, he must be to back, sitting in her doorway making conversation with her like they are still sixteen.
"Did you ever even love him? Do you now?"
His words are left hanging in the air and he just closes his eyes back again. Hilary doubts if he even remembers what he said. She can't however stop them from echoing over and over in her mind. "Kai, stop, please." It's all she can say to him. She should be telling him to leave.
She wants to help him, because there's still the sixteen year old inside her someplace deep buried thanks to him only that can't stand to see him in such a state. Didn't he once stand so tall and invulnerable? But wasn't she the only one to see that it was all a sham?
"What was the point of all of this? You and me actually being in love when you just went ahead and married Tyson, huh, Mrs. Granger?" He says the last part of the sentence with contempt, as if the words stung his tongue.
She wants to ask him why she's the being blamed here, why she feels guilty when he was the one to leave.
She can't take it anymore. She wants to go back inside and pretend this night didn't happen, that Kai didn't stumble back into her life plastered, and yet, still the very same. She spins on her heels hoping to dart back inside.
He gets up on his feet wobbling and grabs her wrist. "I'm sorry, alright?" He says to her. "Stay, for me."
She turns her head and looks right at him in the eyes, and the depth and misery in them actually makes her doubt if he' just blabbering in a state of drunk stupor, that for the first time he's honestly being frank. Time freezes and it seems to truly head back thirteen years into the past when they were standing at this very doorstep looking into each other's eyes with this same helplessness, but with a tinge of clinging hope as well.
But it's not long before she's back in the real day and she knows that they're not teenagers anymore. She doesn't understand what he wants from her, she doubts if he himself does either, and she knows she can't help him, not anymore.
"I'm sorry, too."
And she scrams inside shutting the door behind her, leaving her childhood crush out in the cold. She leans against the door for a while before slowly sinking to the floor, quelling any urge to double back outdoor. Her mind darts back to the first time she met Kai, the arrogant bastard who refused to acknowledge her, and everything that led her to this point where everything was so unfixable.
She hopes that he's gone by the time morning arrives and Tyson gets up, because the Japanese man bringing back Kai to the dojo to introduce him to her this time around could not end well.
…
In a world where hopes enslaved, oh, I tremble for my beloved, always…
Milestones achieved in this fic: (1) Drunk Kai (2) Mrs. Hilary Granger *cringes* (3) Hilary as the mother of Makato *faints*
11:15 p.m. 29th July, 2014.
#EidMubarak #Yes,IsleptinonEid #Yes,Idon'tgiveaflyingfuckaboutit #IfellasleepatfriggingeightAM!