Our souls collided before we met

Part 3

Chapter 15

Never look back, forwards and onwards

"Gregory."

The only reason Greg didn't drop the keys was because his body was frozen stiff. His muscles everything just seize to work. Greg blinked and slowly life came back in his body. Okay, there is no way he is going to turn around and see Mycroft, no way…oh he is…wait…the whole six foot something of the man, with his auburn hair, pale face and oh…his eyes is looking like the cloudy sky…hmm…is the sky mimicking his eyes, or is his eyes mimicking the skies?

"Gregory." Mycroft asked again as Greg kept staring at him.

"Huh? Mycroft?"

"I know this is a surprise."

"No…a surprise is not the first word I would use…miracle comes to mind…"

Mycroft cleared his throat and looked away, the intensity in the brown eyes was overwhelming the overflow of emotions in them was crashing into him like a wave against a rock, shattering his icy walls and he needed to keep from drowning.

The silence was overwhelming heaviness between them and it must have looked like a spectacle, two grown men standing in the street unable to talk.

"I got your calls." Mycroft finally managed to get out through the thickness in his throat.

"I called a lot. You didn't answer, not even one."

"I'm sorry…I had to go abroad on short notice…I couldn't afford distractions…the situation was dire and needed my complete focus." Greg raised an eyebrow in scepticism, not daring to ask him since when was he a distraction? Instead he looked away, the keys twirling between his fingers; he wasn't sure what to say.

All the stuff he wanted to say might make him angry and he was over the whole screaming in the street. Mycroft watched the conflicted emotions ran across his face when he noticed the small drops falling down, Greg was still oblivious.

"Well…can you open please?"

"Why?"

"It's raining." Sure enough it started to dribble again and he didn't notice. Greg looked up and felt the drops.

"So it is."

"Gregory."

"Yeah…right…sorry…lets go in." He stepped up the last few steps and unlocked his door.

Once inside Greg waited till Mycroft was inside before he closed the doors and locked it behind him, throwing the keys on the small table at the door. Mycroft looked around the small place and made sure he memorised everything, it was Gregory, the real one, and he was standing inside his home, his place, the place where he wears no masks, walk barefoot if he feels like it. It was a big open plan flat, the kitchen in one corner; an L-shaped counter was creating an illusion of separation from the rest of the room.

On the other side of the wall was his telly, resting on a wooded cabinet with books and pictures around it. The sofa was old and worn in, but still neat and looked after. The coffee table matched the TV-cabinet.

On the left side was two doors, the bathroom and bedroom, the windows was big and open, casting a good light in the place, making it more spacious than what it is. Somehow he felt comfortable immediately.

"Sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting visitors."

The mess Gregory was referring too, was a blanket over one sofa, a pillow hanging of one end, two magazines on the table, a half mug of coffee and a few DVD cases.

"It is no problem; it looks lived in, and in very honest and clear if you understand what I'm trying to say." Mycroft replied looking back at Greg who shrugged.

"Not really…wants some coffee?"

"Do you have tea?"

"Only those in a bag."

"It will do." Greg nodded as he walked to the kitchen to fill the kettle throwing a 'make yourself at home' comment over his shoulder. Mycroft watched him, one part offering to help him with the kettle as he was struggling a bit with only one arm, but the other part knew it would be a bad idea so he sat down on one sofa immediately resting with his back against the backrest feeling comfortable.

A few minutes alter Greg came out holding two mugs.

"Sorry, too heavy with a tray, but this I can do."

"It's fine. Thank you." Mycroft took the mug and started drinking, it was perfect, then again, the way he feels now, Greg can give him water and he would think it was specially delivered by an oasis. Greg sat down opposite him and for a moment they drank in silence.

"How's the therapy going, from the looks of it, you're making excellent progress."

"Yeah, well, I have never been able to sit back and wait. I'm a bit stubborn like that; want to go back to work as soon as possible."

"Do you have any change when that would be?"

"If you answered my calls or stayed in touch you would've known." Greg replied with sarcasm, now that he thought about it, he was quite angry about the whole thing. Mycroft sighed.

"I said I was sorry for that."

"Oh yeah you did, tell me, exactly when did I became a distraction?" Mycroft looked away, his dream Greg was stubborn and had a sarcastic streak; he just wondered how on earth he got that spot on…although it is a bit more intimidating than when he dreamt it, although he obviously wasn't going to be so hard on himself.

He looked back at Greg who was looking at him, waiting for an answer. Mycroft had no idea what to say, how does he explain the emotions in him, the turmoil that this man brings into his life? The way he would dream a lifetime with him, marriage and a child and all because of one moment, and now that he was sitting here, he just wants to tell him, tell him about the dream, ask him to make it real. But he can't, not without opening his entire soul and heart, and that is a vulnerability he can't afford. Not when things are so new, so complicated, so unsure.

He should start somewhere though, he has one in lifetime opportunity and he shouldn't waste it. This is the moment where he should at least try to build some kind of relationship with Gregory that is not based on his icy demeanour.

"You said…when you were shot…my eyes…you remembered me…you need to know…I remember you too…from that day…you became a distraction in that very moment."

Greg stared at Mycroft, his face in shock and utter disbelief. He remembers him? He wasn't the only one affected that day?

"Wait…what…you remembered?"

"You were talking and laughing with the cab driver, you were in your Constable uniform and we looked at each other and I don't know…it was like..."

"Hit by lighting?" Greg asked softly. Mycroft nodded.

"That meeting, back when we were introduced…"

"I recognised you." Mycroft replied. He recognise him, he had dreamt a life with him, and he would never ever forget that face.

"I recognised you too…I wanted to talk to you, but didn't know how to start without sounding like an idiot, I wanted to talk to you at the cab too, I regretted that, never got to say a word to you."

Mycroft smiled briefly and Greg was mesmerized, the man seemed so much younger when he smiles, it was beautiful

"I doubt I would have said anything, I was shy and after that moment, I would've tried to get away as soon as possible."

"You did…you're still shy and reserved aren't you?" Mycroft turned to Greg with open wonder and Greg knew he should fight for this man, six years and he know without a doubt that he will never get over this man. He is somehow signed, sealed and only the deliver part needs to happen. But he needs to take it slow, to take it easy, one wrong move and he will scare him away.

Mycroft looked away and finished his tea before placing the mug on the table.

"Dr Madison said you broke up."

"Yeah, we both knew it would never last, we were trying to push the loneliness away, both expecting different things from the future, we should've parted ways a long time ago, but we got stuck in the comfort."

"You wanted different things?" Mycroft ask, trying to keep the hopefulness out of his voice. He could tell that Sandy was a free spirit, a woman with no dreams about settling down anytime soon…

"Yeah…I wanted, still do, some stability, something permanent…but with the right person…Sandy knew it wasn't her, it couldn't be her."

"It's not her?" Mycroft asked his voice strong in hope but soft in fear.

"No."

"I called her, when you were shot, I didn't know she was your girlfriend, she saved my brother some weeks back and at that moment she was the only person I could think off. It was only later when she was with you that I realised…I felt so guilty, putting that pressure on her."

"You did the right thing, she is excellent at what she does, which is the only thing she wants to do, really, you know you think I saved your life with the shooting, but you saved my life right back by placing it in her hands. I think that makes even now." Greg smiled and Mycroft couldn't help but to smile back, it was as if the most awkwardness was dealt with, pushed out of the way, for a new conversation, one they somehow postponed but can't anymore.

Greg looked at him and knew he should take the risk; it will be up to him to make the move, to start this thing that has been simmering from the moment they met. He reached out and took Mycroft's hand.

Mycroft was startled and wanted to pull away, but somehow his fingers locked between Greg's he held on for life. His eyes was wide in shock, he licked his lips as he stared at their hands. Greg looked at Mycroft as he stared at their hands; he was staring as if he couldn't believe it was real, that it was happening. He thought it was strange, as if he was holding hands for the very first time in his life, yet the grasp spoke of familiarity as he imagined it before.

Greg leaned a bit closer.

"I looked for you." Mycroft looked up at Greg, the disbelief, the stunned wonder clear to see, he was still holding Greg's hand as if it was the only thing keeping him sane.

"You what?" His voice was so unsure, so small, that Greg stood up and pulled him closer.

"I couldn't forget you, so I tried to find you."

"How?"

"It's a long story…tell me first…did you own a handmade shirt with the initials MH sewn on it?"

Mycroft's mouth fell open; he did…but…how…his other hand grabbed onto Greg's shirt, the fingers grasping the material.

"I…how…"

"I found it, in my search for you….Long Acre right?"