Hey guys! I just wanted to let you guys know thatI didn't forget about this story, I've been ill for about 6 months and haven't had the energy or time to update. But I am going to try and update more often if I can, but I can't promise will since I'm still not on top form. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it.

SwaggSurfer - Thanks for the review, I updated the story just for you. Sorry it took so long, but I hope you like. And I like you ideas, will be using the in the next chapters

SPOV

So, Brittany is still mad at me, and I don't know what for. Which is nothing unusual since she gets mad at me for pointless things sometimes. But today we had more than just one disagreement today. But hey, she still noticed how hot I am. Although, I don't know if that should be a good thing or a bad thing. I'm gonna say good to help me cheer up a bit. Who am I kidding? I've been a bitch to everyone all day. And if Brittany still isn't talking to me tomorrow, I'll probably be in a shitty mood then too. Fuck it, I'll just ask what I've done wrong. After glee club though. Don't want to be making a scene. It ends as soon as Mr Schue will stop blabbering about the duet competition. Mercedes and I have already smashed it with our Celine song. It's obvious we're gonna win.

Mr Schue wrapped up todays lesson and everyone started up a conversation about who they think is going to win this competition. Of course everyone said that they themselves were going to win. I heard Rachel Brag about how she was going to win. She does it every bloody time.

"Bitch please. It's obvious that me and Mercedes here are going to win this." Mercedes nodded and agreed with me. With my little rant over with, I stepped down to the ground floor and stood in front of Brittany and Artie. "You ready, Britt?" She nodded and stood up from her chair. So she's still not talking to me then.

Artie grabbed a hold of her hand to stop her from leaving. "Wait, I thought I was coming over to your house to rehearse for the duet competition."

"You are, but it will have to be later on. Santana got us detention after school."

"How did she manage to get you a detention?"

"We were twenty minutes late to math and Santana kept being rude to Mr Burton. Not in a dirty way though. Just with her mouth. Well she can be rude with her mouth in a dirty way, just not with Mr Burton." As I stood a little away from them, my eyes were looking back and forth between Artie and Brittany as they had their little conversation about me and my mouth being dirty.

"How did you manage to be twenty minutes late to class?"

"Santana took me to the bathroom to talk and then we went into a stall and she-"

I stepped in front of Brittany standing face to face with her so I would get her attention. "Okay, you guys do know I'm still here right?" I turned to face Artie. "Look I got her a couple of detentions, big deal. I was having a bad morning, I needed to talk to Britt about something in private and it took a little longer than I thought it would. I didn't know he was going to give us four detentions."

"You got her four detentions."

"Yes I did. And if we don't go now we're going to be late and most likely get another four on top of that."

I made my way for the door and looked over my shoulder to see Brittany giving Artie a peck on the lips before following me. My body shivered with disgust. It's so gross seeing them kiss each other on the lips. So wrong. I stopped to wait for Brittany to catch up, but she stormed past me like I wasn't even there. I rolled my eyes and followed behind her. How long is this going to go on for?

When we got to the detention room, there was nobody else in there besides the dumbass teacher who decided it was her turn to take care of the detentions. "Where is everybody?" I asked.

"It says here that you and Brittany are the only ones with detention today." Of course it would only be us today. This room is normally full. "Take a seat girls." Brittany sat at the back of the class on the right side of the classroom, and I took the other table at the back on the left side of the classroom. "I don't mind you girls sitting together you know."

I crossed my arms and slouched back in my seat. "It's fine." I tell her. She just looked between us before getting on with what she was doing. This is going to be one long detention and I know it. We both know it.

I looked over at Brittany who was texting on her phone. Probably her new boyfriend. Making plans to spend time together and do lovey dovey things that couples do. It's not like I'm bothered, but Brittany could do way better. She's one of the hottest girls that go to this school. Probably that lives in this town. The world even. I've noticed how I can't find anyone as beautiful as her. And let me just say that trying to find someone that is prettier that Brittany is impossible. There's just something about her that makes her stand out from everybody else in this stinking world. She's a one in a million. I hate falling out with her. We never used to fall out, we used to be really close. We're close now, but not in the way we used to be. We used to share our secrets and have sleepovers. Now we have sleepovers to share our bodies with each other. What kind of a fucked up friendship is that? I think about all these nice things about her, but I will never tell them to her face. But why? That's what friends do don't they? So why can't I tell her that she looks beautiful?

She looked over at me and our eyes locked. I must have been staring at her for at least five minutes and that probably looked really creepy. I sent her a small smile and she went back down to her phone, not even sending me a little one back. Every now and again through the detention I would notice her look up at me and then type on her phone. And since we're not on the best of speaking terms, I feel like she's talking about me instead of to me. Before I knew what I was doing, I was walking over to Brittany's table and taking the seat next to her. The teacher looked up at me, but didn't say anything.

"Who you texting?" She ignored me and put her phone back down her cheer top. "Look what's all this not talking to me about? Is it something I did or said?" She continued to ignore me and faced the front of the classroom. "You're gonna have to help me out here Brittany, because I'm confused." She turned to look at me and I could see she was biting the inside of her cheek. I know she wanted to say something, and she will eventually. But I'm becoming frustrated and losing my patience. I don't know why it's pushing my buttons so much but it is. "You've been ignoring me all day is it because you feel like I'm using you?" Why did I just ask that? That won't help the situation any better. Her mouth opened about to speak, but we were interrupted.

"Ladies, you can go home now." Brittany quickly got out of her seat and left the room. I remained in my seat as I watched her leave. I feel defeated, like nothing I say will help. I went over to my table and picked up my back pack. It really has been a long day. But the question is can it get any worse? I left the school building and made my way to my car, I wasn't that surprised that Brittany wasn't there, but at the end of the day, I was her ride to school.

On my way home I drove Brittany's way in case I came across her walking home, but I didn't. Where did she go? She must have gotten a ride because there is no way she could have walked home that quick. When I knew I wasn't going to catch her, I turned a corner and headed home.

When I arrived home, my mom came and gave me a not so welcome home. "I have had your teacher on the phone. He tells me you were half an hour late for class, you were rude to him for the time you were there and you didn't complete your homework. What's the meaning of it all? And I want to know why you were thirty minutes late to class."

Finally she's done. Like I said it's been a long day and this isn't what I need when I come home. "I was talking with Britt and lost track of time. I didn't even hear the bell ring."

"Well you're going to have to start cleaning your ears out. Four detentions in one day? Your Abuela is going to murder you. You know she wants the best for you and being rude to your teacher and not doing your homework is going to get you nowhere in life. Especially if you're getting them for sweet Brittany as well. What sort of a friend are you, getting her into trouble?"

"Will you stop going on at me already? I'm tired and you're giving me a headache." I chucked my bag to the floor and my mom slapped the palm of her hand against my forehead. "Jesus woman! What the hell was that for?"

"Something to actually give you a headache." Yeah I think she's right too. That actually hurt. I should try it on Rachel one day and tell her that's what we feel like every time she opens that humongous hole of hers. "And mind your language. You're not too big to be put over my knee you know."

I rolled my eyes at the woman. Is that little statement supposed to make me be all good now? "Whatever. I'm going up to my room."

I could sense my mom watching me as I walked up the stairs. "And do your homework! It's due tomorrow!" My reply to her was my bedroom door slamming closed. I'm not in the right frame of mind to be doing homework right now.

I let myself fall back onto my bed and my eyes close. I let out a deep sigh and sat up straight on the edge of my bed. What do I do now? This is probably the time I would go over to Puck's but he's locked up so that's not a plan.

I'll have a shower.

With that in thought, I still didn't move a muscle. Now that I think about it, it seems like too much hard work to have a shower. But I'm taking this god damn hair band out of my hair first because that's giving me an even worse headache. I pulled the band out of my hair and through it on the floor, happy to be free of the thing. I ran my fingers through my hair scratching at the spot where it's been tight all day. I wonder what Brittany's doing and if Arties still going over. I should pop by and say hello. You know what? I will.

There was a knock at my bedroom door and I jumped yanking it open. "What?"

"Dinner will be ready in ten." Oh good some food. I feel starved. "And you're supposed to be doing your homework."

"Well I was doing it, until I was interrupted by an unnecessary knock on my door and had to be forcefully dragged away from it."

She started poking me in the shoulder as she spoke. "Don't be rude to your mother."

Why does she keep hurting me? "You know, this is child abuse. I should call social services."

"Yeah? Well I should phone parents in need."

My face scrunched up at the unfamiliar name. "Parents in need? What is that?"

"Parents in need of a break away from their kids."

"Oh ha ha ha very funny. Have you ever thought of being a comedian?" She smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead before heading to the stairs. "You make it sound like I'm hard work."

"You are!" She shouted back. How dare she? I'm not hard work. I'm pretty easy to understand. It's not like I'm a difficult child in all of this. I slammed my bedroom door shut again. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a tank from my drawers and changed out of my uniform. I left my room and headed downstairs to see how dinner was doing. It was weird because I couldn't smell anything being cooked. Maybe we're having salad. I went into the kitchen and there was nobody there. There were no pots or pans on the stove. No mess on the counter tops. It was all clean and tidy.

So where is my dinner exactly?

My mom came in a few seconds later putting on her coat. "Oh, are we going out for dinner?" I asked.

"Yes. Well your father and I are."

"What about me? You can't leave me here to starve. Can I come with you?"

"Oh sweetheart of course you can't. You got into trouble at school and that doesn't mean you should be rewarded." I'm always getting into trouble at school, what's different about today? It's not like I'm failing my classes. I'm actually quite brainy. "And besides you have homework to do." Will she shut up about the homework already? I said I would do it and I will.

"So where's my dinner? You said it would be ready in ten minutes. And don't be tellin me you haven't made anything because I'm literally starving. I didn't have lunch."

"Of course I made you something. What sort of mother do you think I am? And it's your own fault because you got detention. "

I got detention, so what? It's not like its anything new. Although getting four from one class is. "So where's dinner? And don't be tellin me it's in the microwave either. Those meals taste like ass."

"Why whose ass you been licking lately?" My mom started chuckling at her own attempt of a joke. It almost looked like she was about to cry because it was so not funny in any way.

"Wow. You're even lamer than I thought." My mom instantly stopped laughing and put her serious face.

"Don't talk to your mother like that." She started chuckling away again at herself, because nobody seems to be laughing along with her.

"You started it by saying I lick peoples asses. If anything, they lick mine. I respect myself too much as a person and a woman. Aint no bitch gonna have my tongue up their ass." The only time I would start licking up ass is if I really wanted something from someone. And whatever they had would have to be pretty fucking special.

"Honey, you're known as Satan in this town. Not the Lord. Aint nobody licking up your ass."

"And aint nobody gonna be doin worse ghetto impression than you."

"Okay enough, before things get too personal." My mom's laughing started to die down and she came back to reality. Don't even know why she decided to leave in the first place. "Your dinner is in the fridge."

"Well I was kind of hoping for a hot meal but beggers can't be choosers." I made my way over to the fridge because I was sooo excited to see what it was. I pulled it open and my face fell. "Okay, I know I said beggers can't be choosers but what the hell is this?" I held the plate in my hand and extended my arm out in front of me.

"It's a ham and lettuce Sandwich."

"I know what it is, but I'm starving." I whined. I stamped my foot on the ground and made it look like I was about to cry. Am I about to have a tantrum or something because I'm acting like a child right now? I mean seriously, who stamps their foot and pretends to cry at sixteen? Well apparently me.

"I know, this meal was kind of sudden. It was your dads idea, he says he wants to ask me something."

"What could be so important or private or whatever that you couldn't take me? Little rude don't ya think?"

"I'll make something nice tomorrow, but that," She pointed to the plate in my hand. "Is better than nothing. At least I'm feeding you. Be grateful." I put the plate back in the fridge because I was bored of holding it. There was nothing there even worth holding.

"But I'll just be hungry again in half an hour. Can I not order in pizza?" I put on my brightest smile and batted my eyelashes so I could look to adorable to resist saying no to.

"That face doesn't work on me." Darn. "But yes you can order in pizza." Bingo. "Why don't you ask Brittany to come over and keep you company."

Brittany. Just hearing that name changed my mood again. I've only just realised that I'd stopped thinking about her when my mom started trying to make jokes. It was like she was trying to cheer me up. "Nah. She's probably with Artie."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that."

"You heard?"

"It was the towns' big news for some reason."

"Because it's freaking weird."

"So you don't approve of this guy then?"

"No, actually I don't. He's just some nerd with glasses that wheels around all day."

"Well Brittany likes him." No, she thinks she likes him. Or she's just pretending to like him. Like I said, there is something behind all of this. Which brings me to another scene from today when Brittany told me she would pick me every time. It's not like I want her to though. I just don't want her to use poor Artie. He's disabled bless him.

Who am I kidding? Disabled or not, I still won't like the kid.

"Whatever. It won't last long."

"You seem kind of certain about that."

"I am."

"Why?"

"What's with all the questions?" I asked. I leaned against the counter and watched my mom. She looked like normal and was acting normal, but now she looks suspicious. Like really suspicious.

"Because if you're plotting something, I wanna know what it is that you're plotting."

"I'm not plotting anything. I was just saying." She was still looking at me in a suspicious way and it was beginning to make me feel a little uncomfortable.

"Okay." She let the word fall from her mouth slowly and clapped her hands like she was coming back to reality again. But what world did she go to this time? "There are menus in the drawer and here's the money." She opened her purse and pulled out twenty dollars slapping it into my hand. She gave me a kiss on the head and a rub of the shoulder before leaving me alone in the house. What now?

The one good thing about this town is busy and now I'm bored. Yes she's kind of mad at me, but she'll get over it. I know she won't want to see me, but for some reason I still want to go over there. I just don't want to barge in and interrupt them in case they're at it. Seeing something like that would scar me for life. I'm already mentally scarred at the images I've got running through my head. And I know something will be going down in that bedroom, but it won't be him as he can barely move, it'll be her.

Now that is gross.

Why do I let myself think about these things? Is it any wonder why I don't like the whole idea of them dating when all I do is think for the worse. Maybe if I think of the good then it wouldn't be so bad. But what is good about it all? What can he actually give to her? A lift to classes on his knee? Wow big deal. I really don't think that boy can give her what she wants. To be honest I don't really know what Brittany wants, but it can't be him. There's a lot more behind this than what she's telling me, and sooner or later she'll admit to that. Probably sooner because she's not good at lying or keeping secrets. She lets them slip without her knowing.

Actually her secret keeping has become quite good since she hasn't told anybody we're sleeping together since the last time. Boy was that embarrassing. I thought we'd never get over that, but we did. Everybody just thought it was Brittany being Brittany, but if they were to hear it a second time they might not be so convinced. But I told her not to tell anybody and she promised she wouldn't. Or would she? It's not like we're on the best of terms and now with her dating Artie she might tell him about us.

Nah.

I shook my head and walked into the living room to sit on the sofa. Brittany wouldn't do that. Would she? Or am I being paranoid?

I'm definitely being paranoid, of course she wouldn't do that. I'm sure she'll think before she speaks. It has nothing to do with Artie what we get up to so it shouldn't be brought up. You know what, it has nothing to do with anybody, so it should never be brought up.

Thinking about Brittany, Artie and myself was making me nervous. I had started biting my nails whilst staring into space. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. It was almost six. Before I knew it, I had grabbed my car keys and left the house, jumping into my car. I put the keys into the ignition and started up my car. What am I doing?

I took a second to think about why I had actually got into my car and where I was going. I should be in my house waiting for night to come so I can go to sleep and wake up for tomorrow. Well there's that I could do or go over to Brittany's and sort everything out. It wasn't a hard decision to make. I pulled out of my driveway and headed down the street. Looks like Brittany wins. Again.

It didn't take long to get to her house. I can barely remember even driving there, I was so spaced out thinking about why I was actually here, parked outside her house. She must be home because her car is in the driveway and so are her parents. I looked up at the house and I could see that there was a lamp on in the living room and the same in Brittany's bedroom.

I wanted to drive away after seeing that there was a light on in her bedroom. That means they've been upstairs. Unless he didn't come over. I looked back over to the house and down the street deciding on a decision. It wasn't a hard one, but I wanted it to be the right one.

I got out of my car and made my way up to their porch. I had thought about turning around and taking the other decision of driving away, but why should I? I have nothing to run from, but a part of me inside is telling me that I do. I shook the thoughts out of my head and knocked on the door. It wasn't long before Mrs Pierce opened the door with a smile on her face. She loves it when I come over.

"Santana, hey. How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks. Um, is Brittany home?"

"She is. Come on in." She stood the side allowing me space to enter into her home. Once I was inside she closed the door behind me. No escape now. "So how are you? I don't get to see much of you anymore."

"I've just been busy with school." What a lame excuse. Why would I even need an excuse for that? Oh yeah, because I'm always at mine, with Brittany, in bed. Don't think she'd take that very well.

"Sticking in are you?" She raised an eyebrow at me and gave me a questioning look.

"Yeah, I am."

"Learn anything?"

"Clearly not since I have to go back tomorrow." She laughed a little and I laughed along with her. But mine came out more uncomfortable.

"Well maybe tomorrow you'll learn not to get detention maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe. Look, I'm sorry for getting Brittany detention too. I didn't intend on getting her into trouble."

"It's fine. It's not like Brittany's never had detention before. I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"Hopefully."

"You can go on up if you want to."

I looked up the staircase as if there was something there I was waiting to see. "Is Artie still here?"

"No actually he left about five minutes ago. His dad came and picked him up."

"Oh well I'll just go on up then. Just making sure I wouldn't be interrupting something."

"Like what?" I know this may sound weird, but I don't even think Brittany's mom is aware of how sexually active Brittany is.

"Nothing, It was just a joke."

She shrugged it off and gave me a little rub of the shoulder. "Are you staying over tonight?"

"No, I actually just came to apologize to Brittany and then I'll be out of your way."

"Apologize? For what?"

"Getting her detentions. She hasn't spoken to me all day and I feel really bad about it."

"That's just Brittany being Brittany. You know she can't be mad at someone for long. She's probably already forgiven you and you just don't know it." She turned on her heels and headed back in the direction of the kitchen.

"I hope your right." I whispered, but she couldn't hear me since she was already through the kitchen door.

I looked back up the stairs and made my way up them and to Brittany's bedroom door. I stood outside of it deciding whether to knock or just walk in. I figured knocking would be better so I knocked on her door three times.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"It's me. Santana." She didn't say anything back so I slowly opened her door a little popping my head in. "Britt, can I come in?"

"No." Seriously? I ignored her and went in anyway closing the door behind me, turning the lock and resting my back on it. Brittany was standing at the foot of her bed with her arms crossed against her chest. "I said you couldn't come in, so why did you come in? If you were just going to come in anyway, why did you bother asking me if you could or not?"

"I know, but I really wanted to see you. So we can talk." Maybe I should have continued driving down the street when I had the chance, because this is a bad idea. I can feel it.

"About what exactly?"

"You know..."

"No I don't. You confuse me." She walked around to the side of her bed, and that's when I saw that her bed sheets were all messed up.

"I confuse you? You confuse me. I see you didn't waste any time in getting down and dirty with limp legs." She started pulling the sheets off her bed and throwing them into the corner of her room.

"Were you spying on us?"

"No, but I wish I had. It must have been hilarious to watch. And I mean rolling on the floor laughing my ass off kind of funny. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Artie is a sweet guy and that you should just leave him alone. Stop being mean and calling him terrible names all the time."

"Wow already defending him. You guys must be serious. And besides, today is probably the only day I've offended him."

"That doesn't mean you have the right to be mean to him."

"That's a part of who I am. You know Snixx and I come as a package. And most of the name callings come from her anyway, so technically you can't blame me."

"I can and I am."

"What is wrong with you? You've been weird with me all day and I don't know why? Well I have a few reasons, but I could be wrong so…" I pushed myself off the door, but stopped myself from walking over to her and stood at the foot of her bed gripping the frame.

"You're what's wrong with me."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you." She threw the rest of her bed sheets to the ground and sat on the edge of her bed.

"So it is what we were talking about in detention?" I walked around to the side of her bed and sat on the edge of her bed next to her with a little bit of space sitting between us. "That you think I'm using you?"

"I know you're using me." Her head fell and I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

"No I'm not. I care about you, a lot. You know that, don't you?"

"Do you though?" I whipped my head to the side to look at her and she lifted her head up to look at me. How could she ask that?

"You know I do. Don't say things like that."

"It's just, I don't get you anymore. We used to be honest with each other all the time. We don't have that anymore. I'm honest with you but you're not with me. It's confusing. It's like you've changed. You're not the Santana I wanted to be best friends with."

"Because I don't want to be with you? Yes I know it's about that because believe me I've been thinking about it too. More than you think. So yes Brittany, I do care about you." I shot up from the bed and made my way over to the door ready to leave.

"Santana wait!" I stopped and turned around to see Brittany walking towards me. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?"

"What have you been thinking about?"

"So you want to talk to me now?"

"Yeah. I want to know about your thoughts."

"Well they don't really matter anymore."

"They matter to me. Stay. Please." I gave her a little nod and she gave me a small smile. "Just let me make my bed first." She didn't bother changing her duvet cover, just her bed sheet. It took her a while, but she did it eventually. I offered to help her, but she refused so I let her do her thing and she did a good job too. It didn't even look like it had been used today, but we both know that it has.

"All done?" I asked.

"All done." She climbed onto her bed resting her back against her pillows and her legs stretched out. "Sit down if you like."

"Are you serious?"

"Only if you want to."

"No I mean are you serious. You've ignored me all day and now you want me to sit, on your bed, so we can talk?" I can't believe this girl sometimes. She ignores me all day and now acts like nothing has happened.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Seems reasonable enough. It was what I came here for anyway. To talk. I joined her on the bed and neither of us wanted to speak first. It was a weird kind of silence, because I felt comfortable just sitting there but at the same time I felt uncomfortable sitting there. It's not like we were sitting skin to skin, there was quite a bit of space between us. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"I do."

"Then why aren't you talking? For a minute I thought you'd forgotten how to speak but then I saw the wheels turning in your head. Not literally, but ya know?"

A smile spread across my face as she explained everything to me in her little way of explaining things. I love it when she does that, it makes me feel like I'm learning something in a way. Weird right?

"Okay well all I wanted to really ask is, why are you dating Artie and why haven't you been speaking to me? I get that I got you into trouble, chose Mercedes over you and declined your offer of us being gay together but why ignore me?" Thinking that in my head sounded like nothing, but whn it cam out, it sounded like I was stamping all over her life.

"I was upset. I didn't really want to talk to you. I still don't, but you're here now and I kind of missed your company."

"Because?"

"Of what we do. Like have sex and stuff."

"You don't like it?" I hope this isn't the part where she tells me she didn't want to do it and I've took advantage somehow. Although it was her from the beginning who wanted this. I might as well be innocent in all of this.

"It's because I like it is the point. It feels so natural with you. I know it's only sex with you, but to me it's different. I just don't understand why we do things if you don't like it."

I turned to face her and she was already facing my way. It's obvious that all of this needs sorting out today. "Brittany, it's not just sex for me either." Her face scrunched up in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I know why she's asking that and it's because I've been telling her different.

"What I'm trying to say is that I like it too. But every time we do stuff together, I feel bad. I just don't know why because I enjoy what we do, but those bad feelings are always inside of me. And I don't know why I feel like that, I just do."

"So what does this mean?"

"It means what I said. But nothing changes. I just wanted you to know." She nodded and for a minute I thought she understood what I meant, but then she got off her bed and looked out of her window.

"Then what was the point in telling me? You think that you're making things better, but you're not. I think you should go now."

"Seriously!" I jumped off her bed and walked over to her, spinning her around to face me. "There's nothing I can say for you to understand me is there?"

"No, there's nothing I can say for you to understand me. You're in your own little world. Yes I have one of my own but my world is magical and full of happiness. And full of unicorns and ducks to make it magical and happy. You're worlds full of sadness."

"My world is not full of sadness, my world is full of sense." What makes her even think that I'm unhappy. Because I'm not. "Just because you don't give a shit what people think of you doesn't mean everybody else shouldn't give a shit either. I actually care what people think of me. "

"I do too. Everyday someone calls me stupid or an idiot and it upsets me. You know it does."

"It's not the same Brittany. Sure its not nice what they say about you, but this is different."

"Why? Because I'm not you? Because the whole world doesn't revolve around me?"

"Hold up." I raised my hand out to stop her talking. "This isn't about me, this is about us." Brittany was starting to look just as annoyed as me now.

"So there is an us now?"

"You know what I mean." I let out a puff of air and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"Us, this, whatever we were doing. It has to stop. I mean let's be honest here, it had nothing what so ever to do with me. Getting to this stage I mean. I just thought that we were friends. Best friends. But obviously its coming between us."

"This is what I mean! You're pinning all the blame on me. Sure I made the first move, but you made the second." She's right I did. It was in Puck's bathroom at one of his parties.

"I kissed you for about four seconds."

"It's still a move santana. Just be honest with me for once." She came and stood infront of me, her arms crossed firmly across her chest a scowel on her face. "Thats your problem. You just can't be honest."

"Fine!" I shouted. "You want me to be honest then fine. I feel disgusted in myself for what we do. I have to scrub myself clean in the shower because I feel like I have sinned. It's not normal."

"But I thought you didn't believe in all of that. you said you believed in what you wanted to believe."

"I know I say that, but when I hear my abuela cursing at people like, that, then its putting things into my head."

I let my head hang, ashamed of what we were actually talking about. Should we even be talking about this? Is it right?

"Then you don't listen to what she has to say." Her hand rested on the small of my back, softly moving her hand around. It felt nice. Comforting. "Be yourself. Be gay if thats who you are."

I stood up at her words so I was now the one looking down at her.

"Hold up, I never said I was gay."

"What?"

"I never said I was gay." I repeated. I don't remember the words 'I'm gay' ever leaving my mouth.

"Then what are we even talking about? Your making me so confused."

"Your making me confused too."

"See what I mean?" She laughs. "You make no sense at all. There really is no talking to you. I really want to help you with this, but I can't. You're making it too hard for me. I think you should go."

"How come it's always me thats making it hard for you?" I ask. She doesn't answer and looks anywhere in the room but at me. "Try being me for a day. Maybe then you'll understand."

I made a quick exit out the door ignoring Brittany when she called my name. I need to get out of here. I need to get away from everyone and everything. I quickly rush down the stairs and Brittany's mom is standing at the bottom.

"Is there something wrong Santana?" Her eyes were scanning mine to find her answer since I couldn't speak. When I tried to find the right words to say, I heard a door close and Brittany rushing down the stairs, stopping half way when she notices me.

"I thought you'd left."

"I am."

I whispered sorry to Mrs Pierce before leaving the house and jumping back into my car. Driving away as fast as I could.

Sorry that it wasn't up too much, but writing is a little hard when I've got a permanent headache. But still, I hope you liked it. Leave a review :) I've missed them.

Hopefully next chapter will be up soon. I'll try and do a little bit everyday.