Author's Note: Early morning update…hope you're all recovering from your post-New Directions feelings. I'm basically not ever going to, but you know. Big thanks to AlabamaMiles, , Gleek114, Lynniepops, Nyx93, sarcasticSweetLadykisses89, Chuckleshan, mocblue, ishIheard2day, FannamedSam and the Guest reviewer.

After our long weekend on Fire Island, I returned with a solidified goal to start readjusting to my real life, and to slowly allow myself to crawl out of self-imposed exile from the world. Each day, I forced myself to sit at the desk in the office for at least an hour, emailing Jarrod, Holly, and some of the kids about mentoring sessions when the school year started, and I'd talk on the phone with more people who may or may not be interested in donating (the people Britt and I had gone to dinner with were still considering, so I wasn't counting chickens there). Each afternoon, depending on the outside temperature, Brittany and I took the girls to the park, to the museum, to lunch, to shop for new school clothes for Annie, wherever we could so I wouldn't retreat into the house, and in turn, my head. In addition, I had conceded the night feedings to Britt at least twice a week, which she loved, both because I was actually resting, and because she loved being able to bond with our daughter like that, and with more sleep, the constant muddle of my mind seemed to be clearing slightly.

Although Brittany had always taken the last week of August off, the fact that she'd been home for the entire summer meant that she actually needed to go into the studio, at least for part of the week, to get a feel for the new instructors and jump start her choreography for the fall. It had really come up on us so much faster than I'd expected, and I had to calm myself before I started panicking about the head first dive back into actual life. It was just my first day with both Annie and Marisa by myself, it wasn't a major deal, I was totally capable of handling it, you know, as long as I kept my thoughts from running away with themselves. Wanting some time to sort herself out before anyone else came in, Britt was out the door long before I could even think about having the girls ready to walk over there with her. Kissing me goodbye in the kitchen, she checked with me multiple times that I'd be okay, before picking up each of our daughters in turn and giving them their own kisses. Once she was out the door and I'd set a bowl of Rice Krispies down in front of Annie, and rocked Marisa as I sipped the one cup of caffeinated coffee I allowed myself each day, all was quiet for about three-and-a-half minutes, until Annie burst into tears.

"Mija!" I jumped up quickly, alarmed by her sudden outburst. "What's the matter?"

"I don't want Mama to go to work today. I want her to stay home still." She hiccuped, big tears rolling out of her eyes and splashing against the table, one of her total zero to sixty moments.

"We talked about this bebé. She got to stay home with us almost the whole summer."

"But not the whole whole summer. I wanted summer to never ever end so Mama and you and me and baby Reese could be together all day forever. Now Mama has to work and I gotta go to school soon, and sometimes you have to be a superhero, or go out to dinner with inventors without me, and I just miss you so much then, and I miss Mama right now." Annie cried, dropping her head against the table. Taking a deep breath, and rubbing my temple (Brittany had barely been gone enough time to go to the bathroom, it was going to be a long day) I fought my natural instinct to immediately comfort her. Instead, a smiled down at Reese, and kissed her little head, setting her down in her basket while I gave Annie a minute to process.

"Annie, those are a lot of different things to be upset about." I said slowly, sitting back down beside her and placing my hand on top of her small one. "Which are you most upset about right now?"

"Mama." She sniffled, the creases in her forehead deepening.

"I'll miss her today too." I confessed quietly, squeezing Annie's hand. "But Mama's been going to work since you were very small, and you've never been this upset before."

"'S 'cuz it used to be me and you and now there's two babies and only one you, and I love my sister so much, but…"

"Hey, sweet girl, come here." I opened my arms and let her climb up onto me, her arms clinging desperately to my neck as I held her close and rocked her. I realized that just like I'd been living in an isolated bubble, so had my daughter, and now that the bubble had burst, I wasn't exactly prepared for her reality. "I don't want you to cry. I know that we're still trying to get used to this, and now it's more of an adjustment with all the things that are going to happen in the next few weeks, and it's scary for me too. But our special time isn't going to change completely just because we've got another sidekick for all of our fun, right?"

"Dunno, Mamí." She mumbled into my shirt. "I don't like so much when stuff changes."

"I know." I told her simply, swallowing the lump in my throat about how she was just so much my daughter. "Trust me, mi amor, I totally understand that. And you have been such a brave girl for so many things this year."

"So hard sometimes." She frowned, looking up into my eyes with her watery blue ones. "And I gotta go to that big school next week.

"You do, but you know Thoreau will be there too, and now that making friends is a little bit easier for you, it's going to be really exciting. But we don't have to think about that today you know. How about we do something special?"

"Like what?"

"Why don't we see if Aunt Rachel and Brice want to hang out with us? Then we won't have to stay in the house and think about missing Mama, or about you going to school, or me doing my work. Uncle Finn had to go back to work this week too, so I bet they might be a little sad missing

him like we are about Mama."

"Really?" Annie rubbed furiously at her eyes, trying to clear away the tears. "I haven't seen Bricey in forever."

"Yeah." I gave her a small smile, glad to see that she seemed to relax a little bit. "It's been a busy summer for all of us, and I'll be happy to see them too."

Part of me believed that Rachel was probably expecting me to call her, since she and Brice were already down in SoHo having breakfast at Balthazar (she really would never get sick of that place). She excitedly agreed to meet up with us at the park in an hour, and I breathed a sigh of relief at that. Annie definitely pepped up at the news, and finished her breakfast quickly, running up the stairs to put on her bathing suit and the orange shorts and white tunic that Britt had left out on the bed for her. It took longer for me to get Marisa and myself ready, but probably mostly because I was a little nervous to leave the house with both girls on my own. My sweet Annie sat patiently on my bed, swinging her legs and waiting for me to put sunscreen on her as I pulled on a loose cotton dress and got Marisa into the outfit that coordinated with her big sister (one of the dozen courtesy of the latest package from Maribel Lopez and Susan Pierce), kissing her nose before slipping a matching headband onto her bald head.

Checking the diaper bag even more than I did when I was with Brittany, I threw a few bottles of water and some snacks inside and maneuvered a sleeping Marisa into her sling. Annie skipped, never letting go of my hand, all the way to the park, and the second I unlatched the gate and she saw Brice running through the sprinkler in his swim shorts, she tore off her shirt and shorts, kicked off her sandals, and raced to join him. Laughing softly to myself, I picked up her clothes from the ground and found Rachel sitting on a bench just out of the splash zone. With a little head shake about how cute the kids were, I sank down beside her, quickly peeking to make sure the baby was still settled.

"Hey stranger." Rachel smiled, tilting her head up so she could catch a glimpse of Marisa. "Long time no see."

"I know. Dare I say that I actually miss you?"

"It's quite possible that the world may actually end if you speak the words out loud." She teased, and I just rolled my eyes until hers turned serious. "How are you doing, Santana?"

"I'm g-" I started to give my blanket answer, the one that I was kind of giving to everyone but Britt and my mother, but it was Rachel. She'd been around long enough to know when I was completely full of shit. "I'm getting there, honestly."

"Well you look fantastic."

"Really, Rach? I don't know if I'd use the word fantastic."

"Well, comparatively. You remember that I gained forty-six pounds while I was pregnant with Brice, right? What did you gain, seven?"

"It's not so much about the weight gain." I confessed quietly. "My body, it just feels really different, you know? Even if I don't look like a Weeble."

"Oh my God. Did you actually just call me a Weeble?"

"Not anymore. Six months after Brice was born, you had like, Brittany abs. You were in the best shape of your life. I was jealous, actually."

"I also saw my personal trainer more than I saw my husband. It was like baby, body, Finn, in that order, and it wasn't a good thing for me."

"I didn't realize-"

"I know." She nodded, some far off look in her eyes. "I didn't want anyone to know. You were dealing with being back in school, and all of the Early Intervention for Annie. And Kurt, well, I love him, but he's Kurt, and it wasn't the kind of thing I'd go to him for."

"I wish I could have been there for you, I'm sorry."

"It was something I had to go through my myself…and in therapy. I'm just telling you now, because even though I've been expressly instructed not to, I do worry about you still, and I don't want you to go back to the dark place."

"Honestly, I don't think I will." I told her, my confidence in that only growing as the weeks passed by. Even though Britt and I still hadn't had sex, and did spend more time than I'd care to admit in a tumultuous relationship with mirrors, I knew I was making bigger steps. "I'm trying not to be a prisoner of my head and my body. But I actually would really like to start working out again, once we get Annie settled into kindergarten. And not even just because it'll get me into shape, although obviously that's the goal, but also because my brain is better at functioning when I get my endorphins up, or whatever."

"I'll work out with you."

"You?" I eyed her skeptically. "You know I don't do gyms, because the thought of men leering at me while I sweat my ass off on the treadmill makes my stomach turn, and after the one and only time we ever went jogging together you got your panties all in a twist about the city air destroying your vocal chords if you breathed it in too deeply."

"Oh come on, that was ten years ago. Maybe breathing in the smog will add some new smolder to my voice." Rachel laughed, obviously kidding. "I'd do the East River Promenade with you. It'll be a way for us to hang out again, like we did when Annie was a baby, and I'll get some bonding time with Marisa in between your insane schedule and my rehearsals."

"Fine. I could use someone relentless to motivate me anyway." I conceded, not bothering to hide my smile. "How are rehearsals going anyway? Do you even need them? Because I still have nightmares of you hanging on our fire escape singing now that my feet are on the ground again, now that my senses have been found again, what did I ever see in him?"

"I seem to remember someone sticking her head through the window and responding with do we need them? No we don't! Do we want them, no we don't!" Rachel sang back to me.

"Perfect line for me, I still say Rosie Alvarez would have been way more interesting if she left Albert for a chick."

"Of course you do, you think everything is more interesting with lesbians."

"Everything is more interesting with lesbians." I rolled my eyes. "Bye Bye Birdie is boring. It's set in Ohio, we both know nothing exciting happens there,"

"Part of the reason it holds a special place in my heart." She scoffed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But rehearsals are good, it's just tough for me to leave my boy though, even if he's right next door."

"Yeah." I glanced over at Annalise, who was hopping over the jets of the sprinkler, giggling as the water hit her legs, and then down again to Marisa, who's eyes were slowly blinking open as her little fist pressed against my sternum. "I can imagine."

"We're lucky though, you know? A lot of women don't have the options that we do, you being able to work from home, me having a daycare right in the theater, Brittany with her flexible schedule."

"As much as this is beginning to sound like one of your new feminism speeches, I do agree with you. Isn't that right amorcita?" I lowered the shoulder of the sling and lifted Marisa out, carefully shading her face from the sun. "Buenos dias, dormilona. Look where we are, bebé, and look who's here to see you."

"She looks so big Santana, wow."

"Yeah, well, my ravaged nipples would definitely agree that she's a good eater." I winced a little, just thinking about it. "But she's gained almost a pound and a half since birth, so it's worth the suffering."

"Bricey, look!" Annie shouted, pointing excitedly over to me. "My sister is awake now! We need to go see her, 'cept you can't be too loud 'cuz her ears are super tiny. And we can't touch her, 'cuz we're wet and she's too small and will get too cold."

"Kay, MyAnnie." Brice nodded solemnly. "We can look at her?"

"Course we can, c'mon." Annie grabbed him by the hand, and both Rachel and I beamed as our kids approached.

"Aunt S'tana, Baby Risa's still small."

"She is, chiquito, but she's getting bigger every day."

"Isn't she so pretty?" Annie sighed happily, moving as close as she could to me without dripping water on the baby, and her little teeth chattered before Rachel stood to wrap both kids in their towels. "Mamí, show Bricey Fuzzy Wuzzy. My sister loves that, Auntia Rachel."

"Oh does she? Well I think it's the perfect rhyme for her."

"How's it go?" Brice asked, looking at the baby interestedly.

"Ready, mijas?" I looked between the girls, and Annie's chin bobbed up and down before I started rubbing the barely there fuzz on Reese's head, which had hardly changed since the day she was born. "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear."

"Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair."

"So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't really fuzzy."

"Was he?" Annie clapped excitedly, finishing the verse, and Marisa continued to stare up at me with her wide, watchful eyes. My older daughter was finally beginning to understand that just because she didn't yet smile didn't mean she wasn't happy, but was inevitably still on a mission to make it happen. "Not yet?"

"Nope, not yet. Soon though, I think."

"You don't have to be shy though, Reese, 's only Bricey and Auntia Rachel." Annie leaned in close to her sister, flicking her eyes over to Rachel and Brice to make sure neither could hear her private whispers. "But 's okay, Mama and Mamí say we only have to do stuff when we're ready."

Brice's interest in watching the baby waned quickly, and Annie hung back only a few minutes more, torn a little about leaving her sister, but realizing with my encouragement that she got a lot more time with Marisa than she did with Brice. With the two of them happily engaged in a game of catch with Brice's ball (and Rachel marveling that I actually seemed more relaxed at the park than I normally did), I fed Marisa while we resumed our conversation, attempting to plan a workout schedule, talking about Brice starting preschool, Annie starting kindergarten, our respective spouses, work, our friends. It was the kind of thing I hadn't realized I'd been missing during my exile from the world, having my best friend to just bullshit with. We let the kids play for hours, fed them pizza for lunch, and just as we started packing up so Rachel could head up to the theater and I could head home, I got a text from Britt, asking me to stop by the studio with the girls if I felt like it.

After hugging Brice goodbye and bravely telling him that school would be super fun, Annie skipped the entire way to Brittany's studio. Since Annie was inexplicably afraid of the elevator (and only that one, not elevators in general), we took the three flights of stairs, which, of course proved more of a challenge than normal. Embarrassingly out of breath, I made it with the two girls into the front room. Nicole, the sweet middle-aged receptionist with a South Carolina twang, looked up from her computer screen and grinned widely at my daughter.

"Well look at this, we don't just get one Lopez-Pierce back today, we get all of you. Hello Annalise."

"Hi." Annie mumbled shyly, pressing most of her face into my side. "'S nice to see you."

"You too, sunshine. Everyone's been pestering your Mama all day about pictures of you and this new baby I've yet to meet." Nicole winked at me, and I ran my thumb over the crown of Marisa's tucked away little head.

"Mama's got lots of pictures in her phone." Annie whispered, not quite meeting Nicole's eyes. "I got to take some of them of my sister."

"I may have heard a thing or two about that." Nicole reached into her desk and pulled out a small package of Skittles (which I swore she only kept in there for Annie's visits, since she and Britt were the only two people in the entire studio with kids, and Nicole's were grown), waiting for my small nod before she offered them to Annie. Tentatively, my daughter stepped forward and accepted the gift, murmuring a soft thank you before sitting down with a face splitting grin in one of the chairs in the waiting area.

"How are you, Nicole?" I asked, once Annie was settled.

"I'm just fine, thanks. And how are you, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce?"

"For the thousandth time, Santana is fine. I'm not Rick's boyfriend, friend, lover, whatever their situation of the week is,who insists on being called Mr. Rockwell."

"And whom I call Marcus every single time he steps foot in this place." The corner of her mouth lifted up into a half-grin, and I laughed.

"Which is exactly why you are my favorite person around here. Only you have as much distain for Rick and Marcus as I do." I laughed quietly, making sure that no one else was around to hear me. "But I'm good, thanks for asking. Just figuring out a new routine now that Britt's back at work."

"Well thanks for taking time out of that to come in and see us. In between Rick talking to Brittany for hours in his office this morning, she's had to spend most of her day bragging about her beautiful girls." Nicole's eyes drifted down to the green fabric of the sling before looking back of. "Speaking of, am I going to have to beg you to hold the baby?"

"Oh. No. Of course not." I tried to sound more confident than I felt, since even though I was less weird about people holding Marisa than I had been about Annie, it still made my heart thump a little faster. Slowly, I removed the drowsy girl from where she was snuggled against me, and pressed a few soft kisses to the top of her head before passing her to Nicole. "Is Brittany busy? I mean, I know she asked us to come, but..."

"She'll be finished with the two new instructors soon." Nicole nearly whispered between coos to Marisa. "She told me to tell you there's decaf coffee on the shelf in her office if you want it."

"My wife's the best, isn't she?" I grinned dopily.

"You know she's everyone here's favorite. And speak of the devil." Nicole tilted her head over to where Britt was coming down the hallway, and Annie shot up out of her chair, spilling Skittles all over the floor, jumping up into her Mama's arms.

"Hi sweetheart!" Brittany kissed all over her face, squeezing her tightly to her chest with a big grin on her face. "You brought Mamí and Reese here to see me?"

"No, Mama." Annie giggled, then frowned as she noticed the spilled candy. "Mamí brought us here, course."

"Well either way, I'm glad you came." Britt set Annie back down on the floor. "Can you clean up your mess for me and then we'll go back to see the new stuff in my office?"

"Mmkay!" She nodded enthusiastically and dropped down to her hands and knees, searching for the brightly colored balls.

"Hey honey." Britt whispered into my ear as she wrapped her arms around my waist and softly kissed the side of my face from behind. "Nicki, you've already got your hands on Marisa, huh? Everyone else around here will be jealous."

"She's even more perfect in person. Let them be jealous all they want, I'm not giving up this girl for anyone."

"Oh really?" Brittany stepped forward, holding out her arms. "Because I think my sweet girl wants to see her Mama. Come here, little love."

Brittany's whole body sighed with joy when she held Reese close, stopping to nuzzle her nose, and to carefully observe her features like she'd missed something important in the few hours she'd been at work. With Britt promising Nicole that we'd be back, and that she could definitely hold the baby again, I helped Annie throw the Skittles away with a wistful little pout, and then lifted her into my arms. I followed my wife through the maze of hallways, surprised that she barely spared a second for anyone who stopped us, since I figured the reason she'd asked us to come was so she could show off Marisa for the first time. Once we got into her tiny private space, I looked around, smiling that Brittany had put the picture of the four of us in the hospital on her desk. Catching the look in my eye, Brittany winked at me and handed Annie a new box of sparkle crayons (which she immediately sat in the big chair with and became engrossed in drawing) and lay Marisa on a blanket on the floor before hopping over to me, looking like she was about to explode.

"What's going on, babe?" I couldn't hold in my grin just from the bubbling excitement on her face.

"Rick's retiring." She whisper-shouted breathily. "At the end of the year. And Michelle from the national office came in today and they officially offered me the job. And I'm not allowed to say anything to anyone here, but I couldn't tell you on the phone and I just needed you to know that it isn't just some far off dream anymore. I'm going to train a new lead choreographer, and I'm still going to do a little on my own, even if I'm going to be the one running things behind the scenes. Santana..."

"Britt." I choked on her name, so, so incredibly proud of her, and caught her up in a deep kiss, not even sure I knew the words to express as much.

"When Rick called me into the office this morning and Michelle was there, I thought they were going to fire me. I mean...I started thinking how we need to call a lawyer, since they totally can't do that right after I came back from maternity leave, and I swear, I almost started to cry before they even said a word. San, I know we've talked about this coming some day like it was a guarantee, but part of me never thought they'd really trust me with running the whole show." She was laughing, but tears were running down her face, so I kissed her again, knowing I was on the verge of tears too.

"Baby, you have been running the whole show, Rick is always away, and you've been so awesome at it. God, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." She gushed. "Remember when Rick offered me the choreographer job so I'd come back to work after Annie? And now the day I come back after Marisa, they offer me this. Our kids are magic, I swear."

"Maybe so, but so are you. Magic, and talented, and you deserve this." I let the tears spill out from my eyes and hugged Brittany tightly.

"Why are you crying?" Annie looked up from her coloring, alarmed at the sound of our sniffles.

"It's good crying, baby girl."

"The best kind." I nodded my reassurance. "The kind where Mama needs a really fancy dinner and a million kisses."

"Can I come to your fancy dinner, Mama?"

"Do I get a million kisses?" Britt wiped her eyes and slowly pulled out of my embrace, catching Annie up to accept said kisses. "Thank you Bean."

"Welcome! Did you do something super special? 'Cuz it's not your birthday anymore."

"She did." I answered. "And tonight we'll tell you all about it."

"Okay! But Mamí, you have to make 'servations when it's fancy dinner, right?"

"I do." I laughed, shaking my head in amusement and making a mental note not to let Annie remind her grandmothers that she knew about making reservations, lest we hear more about how often we go out to dinner. "Don't worry, I know just the place."

Stealing a few more kisses, and mumbling I'm so proud of you against Britt's lips a few more times, I fixed my lipstick and we emerged from her office, Annie in Brittany's arms and Marisa in mine. I found it so hard to control myself from shouting my wife's accomplishments to every person who she introduced the baby to, so I mostly kept my mouth shut, letting Brittany do the majority of the talking as the other dancers fawned over my girls. Stopping to say a quick hello to Rick before I left, I surprised both him and Britt when I threw my arms around him. I didn't actually care that he was a mildly pretentious pain in Brittany's ass anymore, he had always given her the opportunities that I knew she deserved, and that both of us worried that other people wouldn't see, and for that, I respected the guy. Finally kissing Britt goodbye, I packed up the girls again (Annie very reluctantly) and left her to work so she could get home in time for dinner, and I basically floated out the door, delirious with admiration for her. On the way home, we picked up flowers, which Annie insisted on carrying, her arms full with the amount we'd picked out, and while both girls took a much needed nap, I sat at the kitchen table, writing basically a short novel in the card I'd grabbed while we were buying milk in Duane Reade.

When Brittany got home, a folder with a new contract cradled against her chest, both girls were dressed and on our bed, and I stood doing my hair at the mirror while she took a shower. Although it would end up being a late night for the kids, we wouldn't have celebrated such a big night without them, and by the time we got uptown to Trattoria Dell'Arte, Marisa was sound asleep in her carseat, and Annie was chattering away about spaghetti and Rick getting 'tired. After raising glasses of Pellegrino, and toasting, I hooked my ankle with Britt's and rested my right hand on her bare knee, squeezing occasionally to convey how much more I wanted to say to her. We ate our dinner in best kind of comfortable quiet, mostly engaging Annie's excited questions and shooting each other dopey glances over risotto and veal Marsala. In the midst of dessert, Annie passed out with her head in Brittany's lap, slightly clingy with her after the day apart, and I hurriedly got the check so we could get both of our daughters home and into bed.

While Britt called our parents to tell them her big news, I nursed a mostly still asleep baby and ran a bath for the two of us. We hadn't bathed together since the night before Reese was born, and since it was always one of those special things Brittany and I shared, I figured it would be the best way too finish off our night. After pouring the lavender bubble bath in the tub, I lowered the lights and lit candles, sitting on the edge of the tub and waiting for my wife to join me. Her eyes were soft when she entered the bathroom, and I untied my robe, slipping into the water and beckoning her to join me. Once she'd settled behind me, her fingers interlacing with mine and our hands resting on the sides of the tub, she hummed contentedly as I leaned further into her.

"This is nice." She murmured into my hair. "I missed this."

"Me too." I admitted shyly, feeling part of the strangeness inside of me caused by lack of physical intimacy with my wife begin to evaporate at just the feeling of bare wet skin against bare wet skin. "You looked really pretty tonight."

"So did you." Brittany twisted the rings that finally fit on my finger again. "Thank you for dinner, and the flowers, and the card. You always make me feel really special San."

"You are." I breathed, tilting my chin up to capture her lips. "So special. Tell me everything about that big gigantic contract."

"We're always conducting important life business in the bathtub." She giggled. "It's a lot to read, and I obviously want you to look over it too, but I think it's going to be really good for us. It's a different kind of flexible than choreographing, I had Michelle put a provision in there about working remotely, or having the girls in the office with me, if need be. This is long term, and with things really blossoming with Show Your Brave, I don't want me adjusting to a new job to stunt the growth."

"Britt." I brought her wrist to my lips and kissed her there, feeling her excited pulse. I hadn't even thought about how all of the changes were going to effect the dynamic of things in our house, and yet Brittany had already taken care of making sure her contract accommodated for that. "I love you. You're sure that's okay though? I mean, I don't want anything to mess up this opportunity for you."

"Honey." She pressed a firm kiss to my temple. "Michelle signed it already, they're just waiting for me to formally accept which I wouldn't do until you and I really talked it over together. It's more than okay. You were so quick to offer to stay home with Annie when I went back to work, and I know you're still going to be home a lot, but I also want you to feel like you have the same flexibility you always gave me."

"Thank you." I felt really emotional about the whole thing, and I swallowed hard before tucking my face into Britt's neck and placing the lightest of kisses on the underside of her jaw.

"I could thank you just as much."

"And this is what you want, right?" I asked quietly, wanting her to really know that she didn't have to make this move if she wasn't ready, that I'd support her decision no matter what. "I know that this is what you planned to do eventually, and I'm thrilled, trust me. But you didn't think Rick would retire so soon, and I don't want you to feel like you're pressured into sort of changing your career now."

"You know, I really thought when the time came, I'd feel like I was giving something up. But after what we talked about on my birthday, you helped me realize a lot. And trust me, I'm still going to have my hands-and my feet- in the studio. I'm not Rick, you know? Locking myself in an office and being disconnected would never work."

"That's why they all love you there. You're the best, and yet you act like an equal."

"Because I am, and I still will be. I love to dance, and I'm still going to do it every day, hopefully until long after I retire as director, like you believe, but I also love the idea of being able to create my own vision for the studio, and I love that they really believe I'm cut out for it."

"You are." I affirmed, giving her another squeeze. "It's going to be so much better with you in change."

"Well obviously." She laughed deeply, the tightening muscles of her stomach rippling against my lower back. "I'm really excited about it."

"Good. So am I. I just wanted to make sure."

"I know. And I so appreciate that."

Her grip on my fingers loosened after awhile, and her hands trailed up and down my arms before I caught them again. Dropping both sets below the water, I squeezed her left tightly and let it rest on the still loose skin of my stomach, while our others fell to the top of her thigh, my thumb stroking there. We lay together like that for awhile, a sense of contentment coursing through my body. There was a shift, I could physically feel it, and when we wrapped ourselves in towels and went back into the bedroom, I forwent the search for clothes and sat down almost shyly on the edge of our bed. From my perch, I watched Brittany carefully in the low candle light as she finished towel drying the wet ends of her hair, standing completely naked in front of our dresser.

"Brittany." I beckoned softly, letting the towel that had been wrapped around me pool beside my hips.

It was a different kind of exposed than I'd been in the bathtub, or changing, or while nursing the baby, and I sucked in a sharp breath, forcing my brain to avoid shutting down on itself. Slowly, Brittany turned around and took her own gasp for air as she walked over to the bed, her eyes taking in my naked form. I couldn't help but squirm slightly at the intensity of her gaze, but all of that stopped when she reached the edge of the bed and moved to stand between my thighs. Tenderly, she set her palms on my shoulders, giving them a quick, affectionate squeeze, before running them down my arms (leaving goosebumps in their wake), and eventually folding my unconsciously clenched fists in her soft, warm hands.

"Hi." She hummed, and I rocked my body upwards to meet her lips with mine.

"Hi." I repeated, the word vibrating against her mouth as I wrapped my arms around her back, and lowered myself down, pulling her with me as I held the kiss.

"San, baby." Her blue eyes flooded with concern when she found herself lying completely on top of me, our legs dangling off the edge of the bed, and I kept my vision trained on her face.

"It's okay." I promised her. "Just…lay with me, kiss me. We'll go slow, but I...I feel like I'm ready."

"Promise me you'll tell me if you feel uncomfortable." Britt brought up a hand to stroke the side of my face, her lips barely straying from mine.

"I will. I know that I'm safe with you. I love you, so much."

"And I love you. You're absolutely beautiful, more beautiful then you've ever been. It makes my heart flip that you're letting me see your body again." Her kisses killed the protests to her compliments that threatened to spill forth, and I ran my hands up and down her lower back.

She shifted us so we were both laying on our sides, one of her arms curled protectively around my waist. Running my hands through her damp hair, I blinked my eyes closed for a brief instant, the influx of emotions overwhelming me. God, Brittany was just so everything, and having our naked fronts pressed together after so long awakened something powerful inside of me. I wanted to touch the entire smooth expanse of her skin, but I held back, letting our contact build slowly. It was always strange to me that we'd had sex thousands of times in our lives, but there were still times that it all felt so new. Consciously, I made an effort to keep myself from shying away from Brittany, because as much as her caresses jolted me with anxiety, they also hit me with a much stronger shock of excitement, and I kept my focus on the absolute love and affection that brimmed in her eyes.

Slow was good, so good, and after a long time just spent mostly innocently (minus the naked) making out, I felt the buzz of anticipation and need blossom within me. My hands, which had mostly remained in either in Brittany's hair, or cradling her face began to wander, exploring her chest, her muscular stomach, her ass, like it was all uncharted territory for me. I could feel the caution in Brittany's motions she moved to cover me again, her forehead pressing firmly against mine and her lips whispering gentle assurances. My body arched up into her and a low moan escaped my throat as she sucked the skin just below my earlobe and one hand cupped my breast, careful to avoid the painfully sensitive nipple. My legs wrapped around her waist, drawing her closer to me, and the aching need at the pit of my stomach caused my whole being to tremble.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her breaths coming out quickly. I nodded, hardly able to formulate words as her touches drowned out the ever-present sound of my insecurities. Carefully, Britt reached between our bodies, tenderly stroking the flesh just below my naval, silently deliberating going further down. "Can I...?"

"Yes." I breathed, the final veil of doubt falling away as I felt the care with which she touched my stretched out skin. "Please."

I didn't tense up, or cry, or completely freak out when Brittany's fingers dipped inside of me, agonizingly slowly, even though I found myself shocked at how good it felt (I worried, on top of all the other concerns, that sex would change for me). It took me a few seconds to adjust to the sensation, my eyes never leaving her's, and Britt scratched at the base of my neck with her free hand lovingly to reassure me. I took a deep breath and kissed her hard, needy, hungry, telling her how good it was, before she picked up the pace. I tried to hold back my fast building orgasm, but the physical and emotional connection was just too much for me, and I knew it wouldn't take me long. When it pulled me under, I was shaking, sweating and completely overcome, but Brittany held me flush against her, making sure I still felt safe as the aftershocks coursed through me. With my face tucked into my wife's neck, I breathed in salty sweat, raspberry body scrub, lavender bubble bath, and Brittany, feeling like I'd really come home after a long time away,

My eyes closed momentarily before my hands remembered how to work again, and with all the reverence and awe in the world for my beautiful wife (and in spite of her whispers that she was okay if I was too tired), I slowly worked her up, hitting every spot that I knew would make her shatter. When she collapsed, even more of a mess than I was, on top of me, it was a long time before either of us caught our breath. Hazy and exhausted, I barely felt Brittany gather the strength to move, until her skin wasn't warm against mine, and I reached out to pull her back to me. Smiling lazily, she kissed the top of my head and grabbed our comforter to wrap around us. When she flopped down on her back, I rolled onto my side and let my head fall to rest against her chest. My heart was still pounding in my ears, and I listened to the thump-thump of hers, our feet tangling together and her deep breaths blowing my hair. Silently, I traced my pointer over her collarbone, and soon after, her's began making a path up and down my side, lulling me to sleep.

"Love you, B." I murmured into her skin, pressing a kiss above her heart. "Like so, so much."

"I know." She let out a small tickle of a laugh. "I love you too. And I love how extra soft and sweet you feel in my arms right now."

"And I love how you were so gentle with me tonight."

"I love how you are when you're proud of me."

"I really am." I told her earnestly. "More proud of you than anyone has ever been of another person in all of history."

"You're a goof, you know." Brittany caught my lips one last time, and I smiled into the kiss. "But I don't doubt that it's true, even if you do exaggerate a lot of things."

"Do not." I argued, but laughed even as I said it. "Okay. Some things, but not when it comes to you and the girls. You're far too awesome to even attempt to embellish."

"As are you, my incredible wife."

"Thanks, Britt, for helping me feel it...and for tonight."

"I'm just glad you're slowly getting back to yourself. You know that matters to me more than anything else in the world."

"I know." I nodded against her chest, before snuggling back into her neck, the heaviness of my eyelids starting to force them closed. "Goodnight, Britt, future ruler of the world."

"Or a dance studio, same thing. Goodnight, Santana, dork extraordinaire."

"Only for you, babe."

End Note: Santana and Rachel sing What Did I Ever See In Him from Bye Bye Birdie.