Am I looking in a mirror?

I stared at myself and myself stared right back at me. I tilted my head to one side and the other me didn't move. The only difference between us that I could find was that he was smiling and I was not. Not a mirror then. That left me with the perplexing problem of who he was. Aside from our apparent difference in mood, we seemed to be exactly the same. He can't really be me, can he? I narrowed my eyes at the man who was quite obviously just pretending to be me. I don't really look like that.

Do I?

Surely I'm better looking than he is.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"Should you not be asking yourself that question?" he said to me.

Well that response was both unhelpful and unclear.

"No," I was in no mood for this imposter's games. I was sure that I had been thinking about something important before he had so rudely interrupted me. "I already know who I am."

"And who's that then?" the imposter asked me. As if you don't know. You're the one impostering me. I must have hesitated for too long because then the imposter tried to answer his own question. "Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Aha, I knew you knew me. Everyone does. I nodded. "The one and only," I said. That'll shut me up.

"Me too," the imposter said. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. That's the worst possible answer.I frowned at him. This man, whoever he was and however hard he pretended he looked like me, couldn't possibly be me. That didn't make any sense at all. "But that's a bit tricky, isn't it?" he said. "Because if we're both the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow, we can't really be the one and only, can we?"

This is utter rubbish. I've never met anyone who speaks such twaddle.

"Unless," said another voice. "That makes you the two and only." I looked up to see another version of me walking towards us. "Or rather…" he sat down to join in the conversation. "Now, we're the three and only. Which makes the 'only' a bit superfluous really."

This man is ridiculously difficult to follow.

I looked at them both. "Go away," I told them. Maybe if I blink he'll bugger off.

"Can't do that, I'm afraid," the first, terrible, version of me said. I blinked, but they were still there when I opened my eyes again. The other me-s.

"Why not?" I asked myselfs. This isn't right… 'me' and 'myself' should never be plural.

"You'll have to go away first," the second me said.

WHY DOES NEITHER OF THEM EVER SPEAK A WORD OF SENSE?

Also… that was rude.

I scowled at them both. They were smiling, looking smug. How dare they make my own face look smugly at me? I didn't much care for the situation. Or the company. Why won't they go away? I blinked several more times, but they stubbornly refused to leave me alone. I hated them already. They annoyed me for reasons that I couldn't quite place, but I wanted them gone. I looked away from them both, in the hope that if I didn't maintain eye contact with them then they wouldn't say anything further and just go back to wherever they came from. If I ever did find out what had happened to my old friends, I could never tell them about this. I could never tell them that there was more than one Captain Jack Sparrow. Otherwise they might not know which one was the original.

If there's more than one of me… I can't be that original to start with. Maybe I'm not as unique as I thought.

Nobody can ever know.

What if they find one they like better than the original?

Wait… What if I'm not the original?

"You thinking about your old friends, lad?" myself said to me. I looked up at him and frowned. 'Old' friends? What does he mean by 'old'? Why would he say that? What happened to them?

"What of it?" I asked myself, my voice full of hostility. Myself moved slightly, making himself more comfortable.

"Best to just forget them, eh?" he said.

"Why?" I asked, I didn't want to be talking to him, but he sounded as if he knew more than I did. "Where are they? What's happened to them?"

Myself shrugged. "Can't say for sure," he looked over at my other self. "Can we?"

My other self shook his head… or rather, my head at me. This is all getting rather confusing, I'm not sure I'm keeping up. "Nah," my other self agreed. "We only know as much as you do, mate. We could guess though."

Myself's face lit up, "Oooh, yes. Let's. I love guessing things."

"Well…" my other self began. "The crew have probably found a new ship."

"And a new Captain to serve," my other self chimed in. Myself nodded.

"No," I said. "They wouldn't."

"You think they'd come looking for you?" myself looked disbelieving. I tried to nod with some amount of conviction, but my other self was looking just as incredulous at the idea.

"I doubt it," my other self said. "How would they find you out here?"

I thought about the barren desert surrounding the ship. Perhaps he's right… No, I'm their Captain. Surely they would still try. "Face it, lad," myself sighed. "The crew will have moved on. I wouldn't be surprised if they followed Barbossa now. They've done it once before."

My stomach twisted into a horrible, horrible knot. That's true. They have. Despite the blistering heat around me I felt a wave of ice grip me, making me clammy and cold.

"I have…" I began Izzy… she'd never give up on me. Never betray me. I was glad that I had thought of someone who might at least try to find me, wherever I was, but I was also overcome by the sudden impulse to keep quiet about her. Neither of myselfs needed to know about her, it would be just like myselfs to ruin everything that was good about Belle and I. "… other people."

Myselfs laughed at me and looked disbelieving. "Like who?" myself asked me. "The Eunuch and his Terrible Strumpet? They're probably back in Port Royale and happily married."

"Ah, yes," myself agreed. "What an unhappy marriage that shall be… to a Eunuch. And a terrible, Terrible Strumpet. Do you think they'll have any children by now?"

Don't be ridiculous.

My other self snorted with laughter. Do I really look like that when I laugh? That's alarming. "No. Not if he really is a Eunuch. And anyway, why would the Eunuch try and find you unless he wanted something from you, or more specifically, a way to help his terrible, Terrible Strumpet?"

That was a fair point.

"He wouldn't," myself nodded in agreement. They looked at me for a reaction; I did my best not to give them one. But then I saw myself smile and I knew he knew what I knew. Because we were the same person, what I knew had become what we knew. "Ah-ha," myself said and I didn't much like the light in his eyes. He glanced knowingly at my other self. "He's thinking of Isabelle." Myself started to laugh. "He thinks that Isabelle will come and get him."

Bugger.

I tried not to react, feeling closed off about the whole situation. I looked away from them both, thinking that would be safe, but that in itself was reaction enough. My other self wasn't laughing. He stood up and his shadow fell across me in the blistering sun. I knew he'd be looking down at me, but I never bothered to look up and check. "Best let go of that thought, lad," he said. He sounded serious, sombre… sad even. Why? That puzzled me enough to look up at myself. Myself's voice was barely a whisper, "she's not coming."

Well not for you she's not. You big imposter.

Something stirred inside me. It hurt a little bit. "You don't know that," I said, determined that I was right. "You don't know her."

I thought of how fiercely Belle had always protected me, defended me and I knew that if there was anyone who wouldn't give up on me, it would be her. I trust her.

"I do," myself said and then he nodded to my other self. "We both do. Because we are you, Jack-y."

You're not me. Stop trying to say that you are.

Even my other self had stopped smirking at me and was looking serious. He stood up too. "Trouble is, lad, seems like we remember things a little different to you, eh? Isabelle Norrington is her brother's sister through and through."

How dare you.

I stood up then too and faced them both. I wouldn't hesitate to pull my sword on either of them. "Isabelle Norrington is a good woman. The best any of us have either known," I glared at them.

Am I now just accepting these claims that these cretins are, in fact, me?

No. That can't be. There's only one Captain Jack Sparrow.

"True enough," myself nodded. "But that's the trouble, isn't it? The difference between you both. You are not a good man."

I blinked at myself in surprise, "I… I…. I…"

I could be.

"It'll never work, Jack-y," my other self looked out onto the sandy horizon. "You're not a good man. You don't even want to be. Besides, why would she waste her time coming looking for someone she hates?"

I gulped, "She doesn't hate me."

Why does it feel like I'm the one lying?

"She does." It was said with such conviction that I found it difficult not to believe that were coming out of myself. "And so she should. You lied to her, you put yourself first as usual and you caused her brother's death. Why the hell would she even think about you?"

Is that true? How can that be true? Did I really do that to her?

It does sound like me.

My other self sighed, "Best just to forget all about it."

Without warning I remembered Belle standing on the deck of the Pearl with her eyes blazing with an unshed pain and fury. I felt my stomach twist and I flinched all over again as she screamed the words, 'I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.' As soon as the memory hit me it was over and I was almost knocked back with the sheer power of it. They were right. I didn't know why I'd done it, or how Isabelle had found out, but I'd done it alright. I'd given her good reason to hate me. Why can't I remember what I did? What's worth losing her for? "Isabelle," I whispered her name without realising it and longed for her to respond. I'm sorry. It was baffling that I couldn't remember what I had done or why I'd done it. I started to worry. Surely something that important shouldn't have slipped my mind. What the hell happened to me? How did I get here? And why am I here alone? Myself leaned heavily on the rail and looked as depressed as I felt. I didn't like it. I wish there was someone else here. Anyone but these two.

Anyone but myself.

"Best to forget about it," my other self said again. "Forget about all of it, Jack-y. None of them are any use to you here."

He has a point.

"And," myself said to me in a tone I recognised to be my most persuasive. Now, where is this going? "Forgetting about something is as good as it having never happened in the first place. And something that never happened to us can't hurt us now, can it?"

That sounds reasonable... but…

"Don't look so disbelieving. You know there's nobody better at talking you out of something than you." I was now being scolded by myself. This wasn't a new occurrence; however it was very different to actually be able to see myself doing the scolding.

I shook my head, "I can't forget." They didn't look like they agreed with me.

"You seem to have forgotten a lot already," myself pointed out to me. "You don't even know why we're here."

"Do you know why we're here?" I asked. I looked around again. The question of how the Pearl had come to be stranded so far from sea was a very pressing one indeed. "Where are we?"

Myself shrugged. "We only know what you know, mate."

Well that's unhelpful. Maddeningly so.

"I can't forget everything," I said again, thinking again of Isabelle. "I'd have to lose my mind before I could forget."

"Well… Here you are having a conversation with not one, but two versions of yourself. I think your mind is already pulling out of the harbour."

My other self nodded, "That ship has well and truly sailed, mate."

I looked at them both standing there, looking identical to one another and, apparently, identical to me. Then something dawned on me that hadn't before and I couldn't believe that I hadn't asked myself this question before. Are they real… or am I just making them up? I stared at them both with a growing horror in the pit of my stomach. "I'm not mad," I said, feeling determined to prove them both wrong, but simultaneously doubting the words that were coming out of my mouth. All this time I had assumed that they were real people, but now… Now I was starting to question that. And I hate questioning things. I'm not usually the kind of person who has to question my own sanity. Many people rudely try and question it for me, but hearing myself question my sanity while I stood in front of myself was just… What?

What's going on?

My head was starting to hurt from all the confusion.

Myself shrugged, "You're as sane as we are."

But you might not even be real.

Well this is just…

Oh God.

Oh bugger.

What do I do?

Someone help me. Someone… please.

They stared at me expectantly and the silence stretched on. "What do I do?" I said out loud. Please let this be a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. I didn't want either of myselfs to answer, but it wasn't a shock to me when they did.

"Try and get out, I suppose."

My other self nodded. "Good idea. We are, after all, Captain Jack Sparrow."

'We'… I hate that. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow… am I not?

Myself laid a hand on my shoulder and I recoiled. This isn't right. I hate this. "You're the only one who can get us out of this, lad. The only one you can depend on. You know that. You're the only one you can trust. Trust me."

I looked at him. Or rather, I looked at me. That is something I would say.

Is it something I would lie about?...Perhaps.

They… sorry, I have a point, though. I should work on a way to get away from here.

"Right," I said, stepping forward and looking out onto the horizon. There was still nothing but sand. "If the Pearl's here that means the sea must have been here at one point. Or else a ship couldn't be here. Yes?"

I looked at them and for once, maddeningly they said nothing. They just looked like they sort of agreed with my theory in general, which of course they would do. Because they were me.

I walked away from them and up to stand by the wheel. They followed me, of course. I swung myself up to sit on the rail and felt that now I was taking action and doing something to aid my situation I had a hope of being where I needed to be. I looked out across the horizon in every direction I could. I could see the other two (but clearly less superior) versions of me didn't understand what our plan was. "Now lads," I said to them. "All we have to do is wait."

There was a short silence.

My plan was simple.

Simple, yet brilliant.

They'll think this is brilliant. Or course they will. Because they're me.

"Uh…" one of me said. "Wait?"

Oh for goodness sake. Turns out I don't even understand myself.

"Yes," I said, trying to be as patient as possible. "Obviously the tide is out." I looked at the endless sandy horizon again and decided to correct myself. "Far out. So all we need to do is wait for it to come back in."

"Simple," one of me said.

"Yet brilliant," finished the other one.

That's exactly what I thought, too.

We sat out there in the blistering heat for hours. As each hour passed another version of me arrived to keep me company. I wasn't even surprised when I saw them. Sometimes they'd say something, other times they wouldn't. It didn't really matter. There's nothing lonelier than being surrounded by nobody but yourself. I'd been on my own before. Spent years by myself in search of the Pearl. And it hadn't bothered me… much. I hadn't minded being alone. I'd thought that I was better off that way. My own first mate and crew had betrayed me. The whole world had seemed an untrustworthy and desolate place. I had been so convinced that I would be in a better position if I was by myself. But that had all changed.

On my search for the Pearl I'd found something I hadn't expected. For the first time in years I'd had to travel with other people. Companions I'd had to drag around with me everywhere I went. I wasn't used to it, but I couldn't ditch them, they'd been important. But then something really unexpected happened. I'd found myself starting to like them. Worst of all; found myself starting to like the company. Even Will, occasionally. And also occasionally Elizabeth. They'd often annoyed me, frustrated me. But I still cared about them, worried about their future. Isabelle, especially, had shown me something and opened me up to something I hadn't found in a long time. And once she'd opened that door it hadn't taken long for it to spread like a sickness. Once I'd found it in Isabelle and even, sort of, found it in Will and Elizabeth, I'd eventually been able to rediscover it in Gibbs and the crew. I'd found friendship. A real friendship with people I hadn't expected to find it in and I'd started to think that maybe, just maybe, having other people around wasn't such a bad idea.

Fat lot of good that did me.

Look at where you are now.

We sat out there for so long that I was sure night should have fallen at some point, but the sun never set. It shone as brightly and harshly as ever. It didn't take long before the dehydration and hunger was eating me away. The tide wasn't even close to appearing on the horizon. I stood up, feeling awful. I was dizzy, my head was spinning and I felt queasy with a mixture of hunger and exhaustion. I needed to find something to eat and something to drink before I collapsed. That horizon wasn't going anywhere and the tide didn't look like it was thinking about making an appearance any time soon. Surely I'd be able to take a little break from my constant look-out to search for some sustenance.

I eyed up all the different versions of me that had now gathered around. Some were asleep. Lazy gits. I tried to pick the most trust-worthy looking version of myself, but it was difficult. Now I understand why some people might have a slight issue with trusting me. It's a difficult call to make. Eventually I just nodded to the one who looked the least bored with my plan. "Keep an eye out. Let me know if anything changes."

"Aye, aye Captain," he replied.

It's good to know I'm still the Captain around here.

I made my way down into the hull of the ship and it was only then that I noticed something strange. Something I couldn't believe that I hadn't seen before. The Pearl. My lovely, beautiful Pearl was broken. There were huge holes ripped into her sides where the blistering sunlight was streaming through and illuminating the debris on the floor. It looked like she had almost been ripped in half. I stared around at the mess and desolation.

What the hell happened here?

And how didn't I notice this before?

Was it possible that I had been so busy, so preoccupied with finding the crew and finding my Belle that I had completely missed the fact that my beloved Pearl was no longer sea-worthy? A knot tightened in the pit of my stomach at the sight of it. Whatever had gone on here was clearly bigger than I had originally thought. Perhaps it wasn't just a case of the Pearl having been stranded really, really, really far from the sea. With all this damage it must have been something else. Something worse.

No wonder there was no sea. There was no sea-worthy ship to sail on it.

Well that has to change before anyone can go anywhere.

Before I went back up to give my orders to all of the myselfs- lazy or otherwise- I had a quick hunt around for some food and drink. There was nothing.

No food.

No water.

No rum.

Bugger.

Not a drop of the stuff.

This is far more serious than I thought.

All I found was one lousy peanut. I hid it well. I didn't trust myselfs not to take it from me for their own selfish reasons. They seemed like the sort to do that. I headed back up onto deck where the sun still had not set and looked around at the entire crew of mes. I clapped my hands to get their attention. If any one of them tries to challenge me for my Captain title I'll run him through. "Right, lads, listen up," I said. "Since you're all I've got here's what we're going to do. We've got to get this ship up and running again before the tide gets here. Which it will. It has to. And then we're going to sail back home and you're all going to go away. Understand?"

They nodded fervently. I wasn't sure quite where I would consider "home" to be, but it certainly wasn't on this barren, dried out desert. I'd know when I got there. And none of these other mes could come with me, that I was certain of. If they're even… really here… I shuddered and looked at them all, wishing they would disappear, while simultaneously knowing that if they did all just vanish into nothing I would be incredibly terrified. Sometimes it was best to dwell in uncertainty. Especially when I had no idea what was going anywhere else in this place.

It took months to get the Pearl ready to sail again or, at least that's what it felt like. I learnt quickly that the sun never set there. If you think a place where the sun never sets sounds pleasant and cheerful, then you have clearly never experienced nights on end where you couldn't sleep because the light penetrated everything- your innermost thoughts and dreams. Closing my eyes did nothing. There was no rest, no shelter from it, no food. It truly was hell on earth. Day after day we worked on the Pearl, building her up again until she was ready for the tide when it came. If it ever came. I waited and waited, all by myselfs for the tide to come.

It has to come soon.

Soon.

Please come in soon.

But there was nothing. Not a speck of sea to seen as far as the eye could see. I missed its smell and salty taste. When I get out of here I'm never stepping foot on land again. I loved my Pearl, but she was nothing without the sea. She was stranded and broken. Even when we'd fixed her all up she was still useless, unusable and without a purpose. Sometimes one thing can be completely perfect and whole all by itself, but it just takes something else to come along and complete it. Give it a purpose and set it free. Separately the two things could be fine on their own and never realise the other one is missing, but they need each other to make sense in the world. I knew that the Pearl would be yearning for her sea; it was almost as if I could feel it myself.

Maybe you can, Jack-y.

It wouldn't surprise me if I, too, had been longing for the sea.

No, that's not it. That's not all you long for.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, I've had enough of myself talking to myself without my thoughts driving me mad too.

The Pearl was fixed and still the sea never came, but I kept her running smoothly and ship-shape just in case. Exhaustion and hunger were eating me away. I wondered why I hadn't died yet, but I didn't dwell too much on the matter. I've never much liked the subject of my own death. It's best just to forget that'll even happen one day.

Then again, even death couldn't be as bad as this absolute hell on earth.

I patrolled the deck of my ship, making sure that everything was as it should be- clean and in working order, ready for when the sea came.

If it comes.

It will.

It has to.

What has to?

The sea.

I love the sea.

Where is it?

Gone.

So many things are gone.

Where?

Don't know.

Maybe I'm the one that's gone.

But how can I be gone when I'm right here?

I frowned. My head hurts.

I had to stay on the constant lookout for any signs of trouble among my crew. My crew that was made entirely of me. I knew how fickle I could be and I doubted that I would enjoy taking orders from myself if I were in their shoes. One thing I had never been was obedient and so it was safe to say that discipline was a difficult thing to come by aboard the Pearl at that time. Where's Master Gibbs when you need him?

Gone.

Where?

… Don't start that again.

I went down onto the lower deck to check that it was getting as well-scrubbed as it should be, when I saw something occurring that I didn't approve of, didn't much like. One of my mes, perhaps the greediest one, was trying to help himself to that on morsel of food I had been saving. That one little peanut that I'd kept for however long it was that I'd been in this place. That might sound ridiculous, but the thing with the intense hunger that I was feeling was that it was enough to put me in extreme discomfort, but not enough to cause me to die. It was the same with my thirst. So, even though there were times when the hunger and thirst made me weak I was never desperate enough to use up my last resources. Because, small as it was, once it was gone that was it. Then I would truly have nothing. As the other, greedy me raised my last morsel of food to his mouth I shot him back.

There will be none of this aboard my vessel. I can't show any weakness. Weakness is what got me in trouble before. Weakness is what lets people think they can mutiny against you.

Weakness is what lets people think they can leave you in a place like this and not care about finding you.

Don't be weak.

I took the peanut from the fork it had been speared onto, "My peanut," I said and then I ate it out of defiance. Clearly, it had reached a point where no man could be trusted not to eat it. So to save it from being eaten unfairly, I would have to eat it myself. Now that it was gone it was of the utmost importance that we left here. "All hands slackened braces!" I shouted out to the crew of mes and listened to the ring of my voices passing on the message. The deck became a flurry of movement. I wandered around, surveying the handiwork of my may hands.

Well that's not right.

"Mr Sparrow!" I called to one of myselfs.

"Aye Captain," he replied, looking nervous and rightly so.

"What say you about the condition of this tack line?" I asked him.

"It be proper to my eye, sir," he replied.

Don't think you can weasel your way out of this one, lad.

"Proper?" I repeated. "It is neither proper nor suitable, sir, it is neither acceptable nor adequate. It is in obvious fact, an abomination."

Wrong, wrong, why is it all so wrong?

Why can nobody here do anything right?

"Beggin' your pardon, sir, but perhaps if you gave the men another chance," he suggested. Fool. Second chances lead to second mutinies.

Don't be weak.

"Shall I?" I ran him through with my sword and as he took his dying breath I whispered into my own ear. "That sort of thinking got us into this mess." I turned to the rest of them. Don't look so shocked, I'd do the same to any of you. "Gentlemen, we have lost speed and therefor time, precious time, which cannot be regained once lost. Do you understand?"

The sea will never come if we are so unready. So useless

There was a chorus of "Aye Captain," some a little slower than others.

"It will have to be redone, all of it!" I told them. There will be no slacking aboard my vessel. "And let this serve as a lesson to the lot of you."

"What got into him?" one of myselfs asked.

"Doldrums sir, has the whole crew on edge." Including myself. I addressed the entire miserable bunch. "I have absolutely no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no patience to pretend otherwise." I stepped away from them all and grabbed a rope. "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."

I swung down onto the sand that had been keeping my beautiful ship captive for so long. I licked my finger and held it out, testing the wind situation. "No wind," I concluded. When has there ever been any wind here, Jack-y? "Of course there's no bloody wind. On my soul I do swear, not a gust, a whisper, a tiny miniature lick."

What's that? Something smells… it smells…

I looked down to see that there was in fact something different lying in this desert of similarity. I picked it up. A rock. How odd. I threw it as far away as I possibly could and turned to walk back towards the Pearl.

You're stuck. Stuck like you were stuck on that island where Barbossa left you to die.

"Yes, I know." I remember it. Sort of. Sometimes. "But why would he do that?"

I never did figure it out.

"Because he's a lummox, isn't he?"

Yes. But he'll regret it. Because now I have Will and Elizabeth and Isabelle and he doesn't. And when he begs for forgiveness and I can say-

"And we'll have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited."

Exactly, that'll show him.

And then we'll have the party right nearby.

All we'd need is a garden.

As soon as I get out of here.

… wait. What was that I just saw?

I turned around slowly. The rock, which I had previously and rather brilliantly thrown away from me was sitting a few paces behind me. Staring at me. I tried to shoo it away, but it stayed there, stubbornly. How rude. I turned my back for a second to lull it into a false sense of security and then snapped back round, in the hope of catching it in the act of moving. No such luck. I picked it up again and we started at each other for a while.

Can I eat it?

I gave it a lick.

No.

I threw it again and turned away. "Now we're being followed by rocks, never had that before." I looked up at a rope that was dangling from the Pearl. I pulled on it in case it could be of any use to me and yet more of it tumbled down.

Am I supposed to pull the Pearl to the sea myself?

It's worth a shot, I suppose.

I gave a tug and nothing happened. I pulled with all my might and the ship didn't move. I used all my weight and might, but I couldn't get it to budge an inch. I struggled for a while in the hot sun before I took a breather. Hanging on the rope to catch my breath.

Am I being watched?

I looked around. My rock was watching what I was doing. Actually watching me. With actual eyes for watching things.

Rock's don't have eyes.

Or pincers.

That's a crab.

And I just licked it.

Hello darlings! Thanks for reading, leave a review if you have a sec.

Review replies:

PirateNinjaCJS: Don't worry yourself, she's back in the next one ;) Yeah I had a look at your Hunger Games story, it's aaawwweeeesome :D

lilylilyfairfax: Haha, sorry, I'm very bad for leaving things on cliffhangers. It amuses me. Glad you like my story and Isabelle to :)

GoTeamSkipper: It's potentially problematic seeing as they're both currently in similar situations, but no, Izzy wouldn't say hell unless she was pushed to it! I'm glad you liked it. I didn't think they did enough with the Locker.

Sookdeo: Haha, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.