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Memoirs of a Miko

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Sighing in a mixture of relief and concern, Inuyasha tried to ignore the tar like substance leaking from his body in favor of focusing on the utterly euphoric sensation of Kagome's nimble hands on his sore muscles. Every so often, she would stop her ministrations to purify the substance pooling on the ground which would slowly dissolve away which was more than welcome. Still, Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder who the hell had the power or the motive to do such a thing. It was so bizarre and that Kagome had known almost immediately….

"How did you recognize it was a curse?" he mumbled lazily as he let out another relieved sigh, "Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you did but its weird is all."

"I've seen it before," Kagome answered quietly, "The temple where I trained tried to teach it to us when we were advanced enough but I refused to learn it. Seemed underhanded and went against everything they had instilled in me up until that point. It's part of the reason my father had…"

Pausing and taking a shuddering sigh, Kagome continued shakily, "He'd told my sister and I that we were going to end our training and get married. I knew it was about money. We were struggling and my mother had been ill recently. That's not the reason he gave us though. He used my words against us. That he didn't want us to follow a darker path. It was a lie, of course, but at the time, I was secretly relieved. Scared but glad I'd never be forced to learn such a thing."

"So someone from your shrine cursed me?" Inuyasha whispered as he furrowed his brow and sighed in morose understanding, "As revenge for demons abducting you."

"I'm not sure," Kagome answered honestly – slightly relieved that he didn't jump to the conclusion it was her fault he was ill, "I'm just glad I can save you. That puts us back on equal ground, I think."

"We were always on equal ground," Inuyasha mumbled as his eyes drifted closed once more, "From the moment I imprinted on you, we were equals. Besides, what's the point of saving someone who didn't want to be saved?"

"That's true I guess. I was very glad you saved me," Kagome chuckled lightly, her hands expertly sliding down his back, "There's something I don't understand though. How would they know to target you? If they knew enough to know your connection to me, then why curse you at all? Someone had to be spying on you or me or both. Maybe feeding bad information to my temple. But….how did they find me in the first place and why wouldn't they reach out to me directly? It doesn't make sense."

"Well, I mean, your brother was with those men," Inuyasha sighed heavily as he grimaced, "Maybe it was him and he thought reaching out would put you in danger."

"More reason not to ever speak to him again," Kagome responded bitterly, "I bet it was him. He's young and stupid and a brat and maybe he reached out to my shrine out of some misguided desire to redeem himself for what happened."

"Kagome, if that's the case, he just wanted to save you," Inuyasha pointed out miserably as he furrowed his brow once more, "Maybe he all he'd learned was that you belonged to me or something and assumed the worst."

"Still not an excuse to go around cursing people," Kagome muttered before huffing in frustration, "I mean, that still doesn't explain why he didn't try to reach out to me. That's just stupid."

"Did you ever think of demons as people before this?" Inuyasha asked quietly after a tense moment of silence, "We're just monsters in most human's eyes. After all, you were being trained to kill us all."

Pausing for a moment, Kagome chewed the inside of her cheek as she considered that. Until she moved to the palace, until Sango and Inuyasha had come into her life, she never did think of demons as having feelings or personalities of their own. They were evil. Plain and simple. It would make sense if that's where Sota was coming from and why he'd assume the worst. Besides the fact that she actually was, ya know, sold into sex slavery and her sister was murdered.

"It took me some time," Kagome began slowly, "I mean, my sister was killed in front of me, I was tortured, killed, brough back, humiliated, enslaved, raped…."

Inuyasha flinched slightly with each bad thing Kagome listed as he clenched his eyes tightly in pain, "I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I wish I could've freed you right away but…"

Taking a shuddering breath, Inuyasha continued shyly, "But I'm glad you came to me. Just wish under different circumstances. That things had been different."

"We never would've met," Kagome responded after a few minutes as her hands began massaging his shoulders once more, "As terrible as everything had been, I don't see how I could've changed anything. If I'd've been set free, my father probably would've just sold me again. No, I wouldn't've gone back. Where else would I really go?"

"I will never understand how a father could just sell his daughters like that," Inuyasha muttered in a sleepy tone, "If I have kids, I'd always protect them. Always."

"When we have children, I wonder what they'll be like," Kagome mused as she reached up to scratch his scalp tenderly, making Inuyasha's lips twitch upwards, "I mean, they'll be quarter demons, right? Or maybe even human with spiritual powers."

"They'll be half," Inuyasha corrected with a happy sounding sigh – a dopey grin plastered on his face, "The joy of imprinting and an impress is that they'll be half. Maybe they'll have demonic and spiritual powers. That'd be cool."

"As long as they have your ears," Kagome responded softly as she smiled, "No matter what, as long as they have your ears they'll be perfect."

Inuyasha's smile faltered before he swallowed thickly, "I hope they don't. My ears, I mean. I hope they don't have those."

"Why?" Kagome asked quietly as she frowned and purposely ran her fingers over where his ears normally sat, "They're adorable."

"No full demon or human have ears like that," Inuyasha sighed heavily, "It's true what I said earlier. Being a half-demon makes life harder than it needs to be. At least in the palace, I had standing. Now I'm just worthless with nowhere to belong. I'll be lucky if I ever find a place again."

"Well someone is being dramatic," Kagome chided as she rolled her eyes and went back to massing the curse out of him, "And you're not worthless. Plus, I seriously doubt you'll have nowhere to belong. Sango would never…."

Deflating slightly, Kagome let out a shuddering breath as she felt Inuyasha tense beneath her, "I refuse to think she'll be possessed forever or that she was killed. When Sango returns, she'll find a place where we can all live together. She'll never leave you behind and neither will I."

Nodding glumly, Inuyasha rubbed his cheek idly against the filthy stone ground and shook his head, "I hope she's alright. She's my oldest friend. More like a sister to me."

"So I've been told," Kagome responded affectionately, "I'm sure she'll be fine. I'm not giving up on her and neither should you."

Nodding, Inuyasha wasn't entirely convinced as he chewed the inside of his cheek. Losing Sango would be a devastating blow. If he had to kill an entire army to get her back, he had no doubts he'd do it. Blood was thicker than water and Sango was family – even if not directly related. He'd do whatever it took to get her back and he knew Kagome would fight by his side. She...she would fight with him... Could he really risk losing Kagome to save Sango? He didn't like the idea of losing either and he knew, he just knew, that he'd lose one before all this mess was over. Grimacing, he grumbled slightly and huffed in frustration.

"Does that happen often? Turning into, uh, him, I mean." Kagome asked quietly after a long moment – her voice shaking slightly before she sniffed and continued massaging his lower back, "Not that it changes how I feel about you. Just curious but…but has it happened before?"

Flinching slightly, Inuyasha let out a shuddering sigh as he grimaced and responded, "Yeah, twice actually. After the first and second time they sent me to the front lines. Nearly died because he doesn't stop for anything. I took out an entire western flank of an army by myself. Don't know how I didn't drop dead. Eventually I guess I passed out and after the medics found me, a general who knew me well sent a letter Sango informing her that I probably wouldn't survive. They had no idea what I'd really done and I never explained. Not even to Sango."

Furrowing her brow, Kagome sighed as she ran one hand down his spine, "Why didn't you tell her?"

"She was the only person in the world that I trusted and...and after I came back the second time, she insisted on going into battle with me. Made me more careful. Never wanted to loose control and hurt her. She was the only person who cared whether I lived or died. I...I couldn't lose that and I...I was scared," he admitted shakily as he closed his eyes in pain, "Like I said. People don't like half-breeds."

"But you were Chancellor," Kagome pointed out as she sighed and moved to rub his neck, "Someone must have seen your greatness."

"I have a feeling whoever appointed me knew this bullshit was coming and hoped I took the fall," Inuyasha sighed heavily before swallowing thickly – the words tumbling out of his mouth while he mentally smacked himself for being an idiot, "How can you act like me turning into a monster doesn't change anything?"

"How can you act like it does?" Kagome countered affectionately with a shrug, "Sounds to me like it only happens when you're dying or really hurt. Plus, I'm not giving up on the best thing that's ever happened to me just because he has a few issues. I've got enough issues to balance it out."

Silence was the best reply he could come up with in that moment. He really didn't feel like arguing with her over who was more fucked up. That could only end badly. A few minutes passed before he furrowed his brow and asked quietly, "Do you think there's anyone left? I didn't see much of the battle and...and..."

"I'm not sure," Kagome sighed before swallowing thickly, "I can still feel youkai just east of here and to the South. It's not as strong so I'm not sure whether it's distance or…or…"

"We'll find out in the morning, I guess," Inuyasha sighed dejectedly before pushing himself up a little, "Here, get off. You should rest."

"Aren't you going to sleep?" Kagome asked in a worried tone, "You've been sick and…and you shouldn't…"

"I'm not leaving. I just never sleep on this night," Inuyasha chuckled, "You should get rest."

"Um, no, I'll put up a barrier and you get some sleep," Kagome countered as she arched a brow in a silent challenge, "Worst case scenario, you can carry me tomorrow if I'm tired. I'm not as strong as you."

Damn. That was a fair point. Setting his jaw, Inuyasha almost thought to argue but eventually gave up – muttering about stubborn women as he flopped down on the stone ground and pouting.

"You can use my lap, ya know," Kagome snorted as she scooted closer to him and gently pulled his head into her lap before brushing a few strands out of his face, "Now go to sleep. I'll protect you."

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Inuyasha fidgeted until he found a comfortable position before drifting off to sleep with a ghost of a smile on his face. Even if they lived another thousand years, Kagome would never get tired of watching him sleep. There was something in the way his face relaxed, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the way he quietly mumbled to himself or rubbed his cheek on her leg that made her heart nearly burst with adoration. It was still too dark outside to be anywhere close to dawn but it was clear from the way he wasn't struggling to breathe that he was much improved. Slowly, she continued to massage his neck with the lightest of pressure to rid any lingering magic still in is body. Despite everything that'd happened to her since she'd been taken from her home, it was all worth it. All thanks to him.

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"It's going to be okay, Sango. They'll forgive us in time. I'm sure of it," Miroku sighed heavily as he gave the quietly sobbing baku an imploring stare, "And I'm sure, if you saw him, Inuyasha will forgive you instantly."

"How can he? How can we ever face any of them again?" Sango sniffled as she continued to trudge through the forest at a snail's pace, taking the time to search for any sign of that bitch or the others and all three of them slightly terrified to wander off alone or leave the others behind.

"I'm sure it'll all work out somehow," the dragon sighed as he gave her a strained smile and reached out a single hand to touch her, "Once we defeat this spirit, all will be well."

"I swear if you grab my ass right now, you're going to be missing an arm," Sango sighed wearily as she eyed his outstretched hand, "This is neither the time nor the place."

"You wound me, Sango. I was merely wanting to comfort you," Miroku sighed before the corners of his lips twitched upwards and he gave her a wicked grin, "So you're saying there is a time and place where this would be acceptable?"

"We just murdered our allies and we were tortured earlier today l," Sango hissed as she narrowed her swollen, red eyes, "How can you stand there and talk like that? Have you no scruples?!"

Paling visibly, Miroku averted his eyes as he opened his mouth to respond before closing it again. While Sango seethed and bared her fangs, all he could do was withdraw into himself. He was hurting just as much as her but he was trying to cope in the only way he knew how – humor. It was a bizarre coping mechanism, that much he would admit, but he was a strong advocate of faking it until he felt it. If he acted like he wasn't phased by what he'd done, then perhaps in time he might start believing it.

A tense silence ticked on before Miroku sighed and mumbled an apology before walking off without another word. Sota for his part watched all this unfold with a pitying look. This was all his fault. They had been forced to commit atrocities, ruin their lives and their love because of her. Because he hadn't been strong enough to throw her control. Setting his shoulders, Sota narrowed his eyes in determination. This ended now. Enough lives had been ruined or lost because of his sister.

So taking a deep breath, Sota caught up to the still seething woman and cleared his throat, "Don't be angry with him. We all cope in our own ways. You are coping through anger and grief. I think he's coping by acting like he doesn't care. You didn't see his face when she was torturing you. I've never seen anyone look so broken."

"He tried to grab my ass and then made a joke after we…we…" Sango huffed in exasperation before swallowing thickly, "We killed our friends and allies in cold blood. It's not funny."

"I don't think he thinks it's funny either," Sota tried to placate her, "And he wasn't going to grab your ass. I think he genuinely wanted to comfort you."

Deflating visibly, Sango let out a shuddering breath before rolling her swollen eyes, "Maybe I overreacted. I just…"

"I'm not saying that making a joke wasn't wrong but she's ruined enough lives as it was. Don't let what she's done ruin whatever it is that you two have together," Sota pleaded as he gestured toward the dragon, "You need each other. Now more than ever. Don't let this fester into something more."

"For a child, you're surprisingly wise," Sango laughed softly as she glanced at the boy, "How old are you?"

"I'll be twelve next month," Sota responded, his eyes growing distant, "I'm not a child though. I've seen too much, done too much. I was forced to grow up. There's nothing else I could do."

"I was around your age when my parents died. Inuyasha too," Sango commented after a tense silence, "I had to grow up and become leader of a house far too young. Over the past century, it's been..."

"Wait, a century?! How old are you?" Sota exclaimed - distracted by this news before his mouth popped open as another realization hit him, "And how old is he?! Does Kagome know?!"

"I'm well over two hundred years old, nearly three hundred to be honest and Inuyasha is a few decades younger than me," Sango responded as a slightly amused smile played on her lips, "Demons just age..."

"So he imprinted on someone who is going to die centuries before him? God, that sucks," Sota sighed heavily as he rubbed his hand across his face, "That royally sucks."

"There is a way to match her lifespan to his. Don't worry," Sango laughed softly as she gave the boy a strangely warm smile before it faded and she turned her eyes towards the defeated looking dragon, "I'm going to go talk to him. Stay alert while I do, okay?"

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As if he didn't feel broken enough already. The closer the woman, no the child, came to the village the more his heart sank in his chest. There was no way in hell he was going to act on this outdated and arbitrary instinctual impulse. This was absolutely disgusting. Beyond gross. He might as well be a child predator, imprinting on a child so small. What the fuck was wrong with him?! At least, there were no sexual impulses – some comfort that it was. More a strong desire to protect. Either way….this fresh hell made him feel dirty and left a bad taste in his mouth. Sighing heavily, he waited for the voices and their many opinions to start screaming at him but, to his surprise, there was only silence. No, he wasn't going to act on it. Not on your life. Well, relative silence anyway. He was still thinking to himself but there was no one else telling him anything. Blinking in surprise, he furrowed his brow – momentarily distracted by this revelation – before turning a quizzical gaze to the small figure flying overhead. This was new. Whomever this demon….

Taking a sniff, Kohaku's eyes widened in shock before he set his jaw and narrowed his eyes to better make out the figure in the air. She was human and she was obviously possessed. Human don't fly. At least, he didn't think they did. Heart sinking in his chest once more, he bit his lip as a horrible possibility occurred to him. Maybe….maybe she was just in his head. She wasn't real. A figment of his imagination that his already fucked up mind had conjured up so that his future didn't seem quite so hopeless. That would explain why the voices were quiet. They probably had their own physical forms too and were just waiting to reveal themselves like the little assholes they were. It would be better to ignore her then, he decided. If he didn't acknowledge her then maybe she'd go away. It had taken decades but the voices could no longer control him. He'd be damned if they found a new way to do so. The only way he'd acknowledge her is if someone outside of him did as well. If they did, he'd send the demon who possessed her straight to hell where it belonged. That'd have to wait though. Everyone thought he was crazy as it was. He didn't need to add another reason for the villagers to be afraid of him.

So with a heavy sigh, Kohaku turned and headed back to his hut. The headman was right. Sango would be there in the morning anyway. With that hallucination out there and possibly more just behind her, a rescue party of one was out of the question.

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Grinning like a Cheshire cat, the very possessed Rin settled in the tree line, shielded herself with a barrier to avoid detection as she watched the three figures walking below her. This was a brilliant idea. She'd always excelled when studying curses, always having a morbid fascination with pain that she could never explore in life. There was one curse in particular she'd always wanted to try. It's one thing to read about them on a scroll and another entirely to watch the destructive force. It no longer mattered to her who got caught in the crossfire…or rather - as the case may be - the crosswinds.