Hello again, my poppets! Tis I, Sir Catherine the Witty, here to bring you this week's poem. Alone. Entirely alone. No Eleanor here. Not at all -sniffle sniffle- Just me. By myself. All by myself... Don't wanna be, all by myself, anymoreeeeeeeee...

Hem Hem, anyway. So last week's was indeed Grunhilda - the oh-so snazzy flirtatious minx that she is. Got to love her. Unless, of course, you're Gaius. In which case you really don't want to love her. Cause then there may be a risk of a strong smell of sweet perfume. Urgh *starts a hacking cough*

That aside, everyone got it right. Even you, Jelly, and you win a Gaius grubby golbin-ey gold gift of - emm coiness. Basically you win Goblin gold. Which at least is better than leprechaun gold because it won't disappear. BUT on the downside Gaius has licked it. Unless of course you like Gaius slobber. Which leads me back to Grunhilda. Oh dear.

Oh and also, almost forgot.. congrats to Vegetables for being the 300th reviewer! 300 reviews! You guys are amazing. Can I give you a hug? I can? Yay! Come 'ere!

So, what have I been up to? You wanna know...? Of course you do. -Ignores person shaking their head desperately in the corner-
I went to Ellie's house on Monday! I got there at about half 10 in the morning, only to discover that she had been up since QUARTER TO SEVEN and had already made us breakfast. And lunch. Oh dear. So I taught her some guitar, and I had to shout at her because she kept apologising for messing up - and then apologising for apologising. Yes, there was a lot of apologising. So then we made pancakes. Well, I buttered them and fed them to her while she made more. It was very productive. Round the day off with some Halo playing and Russian Unicorn watching on YouTube - Twas an awesome day.

But now Merlin Fans - BIG NEWS - Unless you've already heard it all.

So... Last weekend was the SDCC (San Diego Comic Con) at which Merlin was appearing in a panel. Now, I was on my toes all day, because I had worked out that last year they had released the Merlin trailer for season 3 at the same event. Sure enough, the Merlin crew were live tweeting from the panel. And SEASON 5 IS CONFIRMED. Oh yeah! -Does little dance- And.. SEASON 4 TRAILER IS THE BEE'S KNEES. I mean, it really is! But.. *spoilers from trailer* Gwen and Lancelot kissing... And Arthur sees! No! Poor Arty :( Aww. And unconcious Merlin! Aww. I watched it on the Monday morning with Ellie and almost imploded. And the bloopers from season 4! Most of them are up, but the video that the person took is cut off halfway. But as usual - most of them involve Bradley. Loves it.

Yeah so most of it is up on YouTube - including the panel itself - which was very funny. Favourite quote? "Arthur and Lancelot get their swords out a lot," quips Bradley. Oh aye? Cannot wait ;)

I feel like I've forgotten something... Emm... Ah, I'll remember it for next week (I totally won't)

Right well Eleanor wrote this week's poem! Yay! It was my turn.. But she offered and so I snatched the chance before it galloped away like my horse when he sees the hunt.

AH-HA! Disclaimers! I remembered Eleanor! Okay so the title belongs to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides soundtrack. Track 1 if you really want to know. (My fav is track 9) Anywhoos, that is their's.

The line, "red verus blue" is a reference to Red Vs Blue is, owned by Rooster Teeth. And not us. Though it was totally something we could have come up with. ;)

And last disclaimer of disclaimerly goodness - "Truth will out" is owned by Arthur Weasley. Who is a legend. As is everyone in Harry Potter. Oh! Madam Pomfrey is in Merlin next season! Tee hee! :P

So that thing I've forgotton I still haven't remembered. So I will -reluctantly- let it go.

Shout out to Ellie, who will be wishing she actually had had an input on this week's AN just so she could shut me up. Well quit frowning and get back to your guitar practice, Girl!

POV - AUDIENCE! And me. And Ellie. And Lord Voldemort. And Samwise Gamgee. And Davy Jones.

P.S - Ah-ha, me hearties! I think the thing that I forgot to which I have now remembered has nothing what-so-ever to do with the poem, rather to do with another FF project I have been working on.. MWAH HA HAA. So sorry to waste all your time with that. But trust me - It is a good thing I remembered. Well worth my hours (minutes) agonizing over.

Guilty of Being Innocent of Being Jack Sparrow

The trumpet led you off to war
You fought a noble cause
But the bravest part was to
Climb in the lion's jaws.

For war's a dish that's best served hot
And once the anger cools
All that's left is suffering
Tis just a game for fools.

So you agreed to sign for peace
And end your stalemate war
To settle all this petty death
After all, what was it for?

So you strode into Camelot
Red versus Blue, cliché?
A meeting of two mighty kings
Both wary of foul play.

Welcomed with a shifty glance
From those adorned with red
You focused on your purpose, and
Resolved for peace instead.

It all hung on a handshake and,
Once that was out the way
There was a round of glad applause
Hurrah, hip, hip hooray...

At the banquet late that night
The deal was signed at last
And yet another handshake, with
All thoughts of wartime past?

But Uther was still stony-faced
And so to break the ice
You bribed him with some silver cups
Just trying to be nice.

This gave you opportunity
To give a nice long speech
Expressing all your gratitude
And secret hopes of peace.

A servant boy came rushing in
And stole your silver gift
Accusing you of poisoning
You were a wee bit miffed.

And in that moment peace had failed
Old habits hard to break
But fighting is for honour, your
Reputation at stake.

Surely there was some mistake
It had to be a trick
You offered to taste it yourself
It could not make you sick...?

But Uther was too bloodthirsty
To grant you your request
The servant to drink up instead
You felt somewhat distressed.

And then the boy proclaimed it safe
You sighed from sweet relief
Innocent, of course, at last, sword
Beginning to unsheathe.

But serving boy fell to the floor
And blades were at your throat
But yet you had not done the deed
Up creek without a boat.

One, two, three knew you'd not laced
The cup with deadly flowers
Arthur tried to tell his dad, but
Uther wanted power.

But all for you was not yet lost
Your kingdom would send aid
They planned to attack Camelot
And you would soon be saved.

Gaius planned to keep the peace
And helped change Uther's mind
By mention of the sorceress
To whom he had been blind.

His men were ordered to remain
Within his watchful gaze
"Truth will out", as Muggles say
(Mr Weasley? Oh my days...)

A royal pardon was declared
And you rode home in style
But seeing Uther grovelling
A sight to make you smile.

Do you know what makes me smile? The fact that tonight I created a Facebook event for my friends entitled "Uther Memorial Night" In which we all must wear black, hold candles, and watch Uther's finest moments on screen. Such as when he married a troll. Or went mad. Or cried a lot. I've left the date open because, well, he's not actually dead yet. But you know... I think his clock is ticking. I cannot wait for this night. Ellie on the other hand - told me she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Bless her.
Speaking of blessing... Bless your face. If you sneeze - or coughed - in this poem reading of whimisical doom, then bless you. Peace off.
FORTHELOVEOFCAMELOT!