A/N: To PHXY ote: Firts of all, thank you so much for your review. This was your first review. I'm glad to hear from you. And you are right that the initial chapters portray horrific accounts of abuse against Spock. I just wish to say that abuse and violence are always gratuitous. They can never be justified. In the real world, when a prepubescent girl is married off to a man 30 years her senior, it is unjustified. When a young child is sold into domestic or sexual slavery, it is unjustified. Violence against any being is never justified. And yet it happens day after day. This is the only reason why Spock goes through his experience. There is no way to rationalize it. It is just the illogic of the universe we all inhabit, even him. But his story is remarkable because he does not give in to the illogic. He retains his compassion and his morality. And that is why we are all still here.

Please Scroll to the bottom for warnings! I could not post the warnings here without giving away major spoilers. Sorry.

The next day brought a pleasant respite from the heat for the creatures of Vulcan. Spock and I-Chaya awoke to the sweet music of the rain as it fell through the branches that covered their cave.

Their cave was cold and it became colder still without the sun, but an illogical urge to go outside came over Spock. For some strange reason, he wanted to feel the rain. Perhaps, it was a deeper desire that he was unable to articulate consciously.

But he could not let I-Chaya go out. No, the sehlat's wound could not be exposed to the water. It was already difficult to dress it thanks to all the fur surrounding it; adding water to the mess would only result in increased chances of an infection.

Spock wondered if he was being a little selfish by going out, and maybe he was. But his body gave another uncomfortable twinge at having been denied a bath and medical attention for so long. It really could not be denied this also.

"I will be back, I-Chaya," Spock said to his new friend. "Do not come out."

With that, Spock climbed out of the cave.

The initial shock of the cold water sent a shudder through Spock's spine. For a moment, he almost considered going back. But then the shock wore off and the coolness of the rain enveloped him, washing off days of grime and sand, cleaning away the dried blood and the various unidentifiable materials stuck inside his open wounds.

Spock looked up at the sky, wondering if this was how the Cha'atik felt every time it rained.

The fragrance of the moist sand was making him think about things he had not thought about in a while. A part of him wanted to go and embrace his mother and tell her that he loved her so very much. He wanted to go to his father and ask him all about when he had been a boy not much older than Spock himself.

And he wanted to go and apologize to I-Chaya for not allowing him to eat the berries yesterday. Spock promised himself that once the rain ceased, he would go and collect berries only for I-Chaya's consumption.

He stood under the showers for a few more minutes, before going back to the cave.

XXXXX

I-Chaya felt loyalty for Spock. Of course, the sehlat's thoughts were not that concise, but in essence, that his what he felt for this Vulcan. In the last two days that he had spent in this cave with the boy, he had not thought much about his mother or about his playmates.

And he knew without a doubt that he would do anything for him.
And hadn't he? He had left those berries alone last night.

He would leave berries, and more if it meant that the boy would be pleased with him.

A warm, fuzzy feeling came over the young sehlat. It felt good. He also wanted to go out in the rain with the boy, but he had been told not to, so he didn't.

With his eyes constantly on the opening of the cave, he waited for the young Vulcan to return.

XXXXX

Spock felt a change in the sehlat when he returned to the cave. There was an air of devotion that had not been there before. Spock could not deny that he felt affection and protectiveness towards the animal as well. He wondered if he would be allowed to keep him after the Kahs'wan. It wasn't as if he had anyone else except for his parents.

And they could not put their lives on hold indefinitely, for him. Soon they would be expected to travel to missions again. And Spock hated to admit it, but having I-Chaya would be preferable to having no one at all, particularly since he would still be subjected to the taunts and the hateful remarks from his agemates.

And after everything that had happened, he wasn't sure he had the strength to just take everything that was thrown at him, and pretend like it did not bother him.

He would try and keep I-Chaya, unless of course, I-Chaya decided that he didn't want to go with Spock.

XXXXX

The rainfall went on for longer than Spock would have liked. While the change in the weather had been welcome, the sheer duration of the rain now meant that he had very little daylight to work with. And he had no other option. He needed to get a few more cacti and the berries. Tomorrow was the last day of the Kahs'wan. And he wanted it to go without incident.

"I-Chaya, do not leave the cave," Spock said. The sehlat whined. "I know you need exercise. Just wait until tomorrow. And then we shall go home, and you can have as much exercise as you wish."

I-Chaya made what humans would call the saddest puppy dog eyes ever. Spock had heard the expression from his mother, but only now did it make any sort of sense to him.

"No, I-Chaya, this would not work on me," he said with a tiny bit of humor in his voice. "I assure you it is for the best, though."

I-Chaya recognized a lost game of tag when he saw one. He went back to his corner obediently, eyes still looking extremely hopeful and mournful.

Spock simply shook his head and left the cave.

XXXXX

While he was out, Spock also made it a point to check on the colony of the crucks. He was relieved to see that they had apparently used the basket as a shelter from the rain as well. And that their new nest was undamaged and almost complete.

Spock walked to the cacti grove and gathered a few small plants, making sure to pick tender, juicy ones for I-Chaya's meal. And then he collected a large number of berries. A feast fit for a king, Spock thought, amused at having found such an apt use for the old terran metaphor.

He began walking back, thinking about everything in general and nothing in particular, when he heard the panting of an animal somewhere close by.

All other thoughts fled his mind. He wondered if this was the le-matya that had almost gotten them the day before.

He really did not want to find out. He continued walking steadily, increasing his pace, but not yet running for the fear that he would rouse the hunting instinct in the predator.

It was no use.

When he was barely twenty meters away from the cave, a huge emerald form leaped at him from the side and tackled him to the ground, scattering his supplies and crushing his entire right side under its weight.

Spock screamed in pain as blinding agony ripped through him. He could feel his ribs breaking under the weight of the le-matya. The funny thing was that even though all of this happened in the fraction of a second, it felt like several minutes to Spock. Perhaps it was the sheer shock of the attack.

But he wasn't going to go down without a fight. Spock used his hands to try and push the animal off his body. It was incredibly hard.

The creature was about to tear into his neck, when at the last minute Spock jerked away violently. The le-matya missed. It ended up tearing away a large chunk of flesh and muscle from his shoulder.

Spock's vision blocked out momentarily.

But with a strength he didn't know he had, he managed to throw the le-matya off himself. He stood up shakily but he knew there was no time to even catch his breath. He wanted to run and take shelter in the cave, but he was bleeding heavily from his shoulder. He was sure that the creature would tear through the flimsy cover of the branches and then not only he but even I-Chaya would have no chance of survival.

His decision made, Spock started running in the direction opposite to the cave. But in his state he did not get very far when the le-matya charged again. It ran after Spock with astonishing Speed and Spock was almost ready to resign himself to his fate when another growl came from behind him.

"No….No…." Spock said desperately. His worst fears were confirmed when he turned around and saw that I-Chaya had come to his rescue. It was a formidable sight. Even at his young age, the sehlat was much bigger than the le-matya. But I-Chaya was injured. And the le-matya's claws were poisonous. Miraculously, Spock had only been bitten by the creature. But there was no way of being sure that I-Chaya would be spared as well.

Against his better judgment, Spock went back to try and pull I-Chaya away from the le-matya. It was nigh impossible, and Spock knew it. But he was not going to abandon his friend.

Needless to say, Spock was unable to do much. But he managed to divert the le-matya's attention towards himself.

The le-matya gave a mighty roar and shook the sehlat off like a rag doll. He jumped at Spock and pinned him to the ground by the neck. Spock could not breathe. The le-matya opened its mouth wide and positioned itself atop Spock's belly. The young Vulcan felt something give under the weight. The pain was horrendous. But he could not black out.

A nanosecond before the le-matya could sink its fangs into Spock's face, he forced his good arm towards the creature's neck. He applied the nerve pinch to the beast, desperately willing it to work.

For a heartbeat, time stood still.

And then the le-matya collapsed sideways in a dead heap. The neck pinch had been stronger than it should have been. Instead of simply rendering the creature unconscious, Spock had accidentally killed it. And for someone like Spock, to take a life was unthinkable. If there would be time, he would mourn. If there would be time…..

He coughed up blood. His body had taken too much damage. And he was ready to simply give up.

But he needed to check on I-Chaya.

He crawled at a snail's pace to the sehlat, who was lying motionless a few feet away.

He was alive. Spock could see his chest rising up and down. At first, he felt insurmountable relief. And then he saw it.
A large gash in the center of I-Chaya's belly. There wasn't too much blood. But the edges of the wound were already turning black.

His young friend hadn't been spared then.

I-Chaya made a low sound in his throat and lethargically leaned his head into Spock's hands.

"You cannot leave me, I-Chaya," Spock said to the sehlat brokenly. This was not fair. This was just not fair. "Please, my dear friend."

If I-Chaya had been capable of speech, he would have told the Vulcan boy that he was glad to have been able to help. But he couldn't speak. And it was getting cold. And there was a strange blurriness at the edges of his vision.

Spock was too weak to meld with anyone, but he placed his fingers on his friend's face anyway.

He sensed pain, loss, a rush of adrenaline…. And contentment. He felt loyalty, and a distorted image of himself bathed in warm, golden light. Spock was touched.

Through the meld, he also realized that the poor sehlat was in agony. And that he would not live through the night. Spock was old enough to know that there was no cure for a le-matya's poison.

But knowing something in theory, was very different from actually experiencing it. Spock had never seen anyone die. And he had no idea how to deal with this. Life was slowly slipping away from I-Chaya's injured body, and he was helpless to do anything.

And he had been unable to feed him the berries.

"I-Chaya, would you…would you like to eat some berries?" Spock asked, his words stilted even in telepathy. I-Chaya's mind reflected that he was too hurt to even contemplate eating. But then an image of the painting in the cave flashed in front of Spock. The painting came with a deluge of feelings; amusement, safety, warmth, love, reverence.

Spock was completely overwhelmed. "I will complete the painting, I-Chaya," Spock whispered softly. "I will."

Just then, a sharp stab of agony radiated from the sehlat's belly and forced Spock to come out of his reverie.

He wanted to do something to ease this being's pain. Anything.

So he did the one thing he thought he could. He deepened the meld, and used his very young and simple shields to protect the sehlat from the pain of his wound. Of course, it meant that some of the pain bled into Spock's side of the shields, but at least I-Chaya was a little more comfortable.

A few minutes later, Spock's newest friend closed his eyes and went to sleep.

He did not wake up.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. "

Warning: Character death, description of injuries

Author's note after you've read the chapter.

I apologize for this. It was very difficult for me to write and I really did not want to do this. But in order for Spock to be who he is in the present, this needed to happen. We are telling this story because there is something to be told. His life has been hard and painful. And that is why there are so many things that need resolution. And that's why this story exists. I am sorry if this was hard on you. Please do forgive me.

End Poem by: Mary Elizabeth Frye