It had been a week since House had returned to work, and for the most part he had kept his distance from Cameron. Their relationship, if he had to describe it, was strained. Neither of them wanted it that way, according to Hayley. She had called him several times throughout the week, and emailed at least once a day to update him; on everything from what Cameron said about him when she got in from work to the absurd amounts of time she took deciding what to wear the following day – always thinking of what House would like.
The treadmill bleeped and House slowed from a run to an easy walk. He smiled at the timer; five miles in an hour. That was a third of a mile more than he'd managed the day before. Doctor Ramos at the Beaufort had been right; the first time he'd had the Ketamine treatment he had been too enamoured with his new-found freedom and had pushed himself too far too fast – resulting in having to use his cane again.
Before he had left the center Dr Ramos had created a detailed physical therapy plan and arranged for him to continue the necessary physical therapy at a treatment center thirty minutes away from Princeton-Plainsboro. She hadn't understood why House was so insistent that he couldn't do his therapy at the hospital where he worked but had found him an equally good treatment center within walking distance of his home.
In the week before House had gone back to work he had attended a therapy session every day, like Doctor Ramos had recommended. And in the week since he had been back at work he had been to three; plus a home workout twice a day. It was all part of Hayley's plan.
House leaned against the back of his couch, breathing heavily. He glanced at his wall-clock – eight thirty – and almost as if on cue the phone started to ring. He reached over to grab the handset.
"House." He said, waiting for Hayley's usual reply;
"How far?" He shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Five." He answered, rolling his shoulders to ease the growing tautness spreading across his back.
"Well done. Allie's at the library." Hayley told him, which accounted for the ease in her voice. Normally she would whisper, or throw in such cryptic comments to confuse Cameron that House himself was unsure what exactly she was trying to tell him.
"How was she today?"
"Antsy."
"Excuse me?"
"She's all… uppity. Twitchy and nervous; she barely stopped moving since she got in. She was about to clean the refrigerator for God's sake!"
"Tragic." House deadpanned and Hayley laughed.
"I was about to sedate her, she's driving me crazy." House slowly made his way into the kitchen. While he could manage perfectly well without his cane now; and had been able to since before he left the treatment center, but he still got twinges of pain every now and then; especially after his workouts.
He snapped open a beer and held it to his lips, listening to Hayley describing Cameron's actions since she had gotten home from work. He hadn't noticed anything different about her, if he thought about it, other than that she had brought him a cup of coffee in his office instead of leaving it by the coffee machine. She had taken to leaving it there since his return; if he wanted coffee he had to leave his office and get it himself.
"So why is she at the library?" He asked when Hayley paused to take breath.
"I don't know, she gets most of her stuff from Amazon. Maybe she was just bored."
"Maybe. Any idea why she's so 'antsy'?" House could tell Hayley was smirking at his use of her expression.
"None at all." Hayley paused. "Well…"
"Well, what?" House asked, sensing Hayley's hesitation.
"She got asked out today. On a date." Why Hayley felt she had to clarify that fact was beyond House's reckoning. He suddenly felt nauseous.
"By who?" He managed to ask, gulping down the beer he held regardless of the churning it seemed to create in his stomach.
"Robert." Hayley answered. House nearly choked and Hayley seemed to realise her mistake.
"Not Chase!" she practically yelled, scandalised. "Some new guy called Robert. I think he works in Gynaecology." The disgusted tone in Hayley's voice matched the sickened expression on House's face as his fingers tightened around the neck of the bottle.
"She says she doesn't know whether to say yes. She wanted me to tell her what to do."
"And?"
"I told her I didn't know. She says she's not sure if she can go out with another guy if there's even a hint that there might be something between you two. You have to do something!"
"Like what?" House asked, resignedly. He vaguely remembered Foreman and Chase talking about some new gynaecologist. Foreman had been less than enamoured with him, Chase impressed. Apparently 'Robert' had a liking for nurses, according to a rumour buzzing around the hospital. The thought of him even looking at Cameron was enough to make House's blood boil.
A knock on the door meant that House didn't hear Hayley's reply.
"Hold that thought." He told her, walking to the front door.
"Why?" Hayley asked indignantly.
"Because…" House began; unlocking the door and pulling it open without looking through the peephole. He stopped dead.
"Because what?" Hayley demanded.
"Just because." House replied absently, pressing the disconnect button.
"Hi." Cameron ventured.
"Coffee? Juice? Water?" House led the way into his kitchen, Cameron walking slowly in his wake. House wished he could stop himself sounding so urgent to please, like a small child needing attention, but no matter what he tried, since Cameron had shown up on his doorstep five minutes ago his I.Q seemed to have dropped several dozen points and he was now reduced to one-word sentences. At least he had progressed from dumb silence, that was surely something.
"Beer?" Cameron asked, noticing the bottle on the island in the centre of House's kitchen.
"Ok." House opened his refrigerator, relishing the cool air that greeted him as he bent down to retrieve the beverage. He handed Cameron the beer and she looked around for the bottle opener, her expression innocent and almost scared.
House took the bottle back from her, and opened it himself. Cameron winced and he had to stop himself smiling; when they had been a couple House would always open his beer without the bottle opener and Cameron would always flinch, as if she were worried that he would do himself damage. In the end it had become one of their little jokes; one of the things that made them a couple. As House gave back the bottle he felt sure that he caught a similar glimmer of recollection in her own eyes. He smiled tentatively as she sipped at her beer.
She looked at home in his apartment, he thought. She always had done, which was weird since they had always spent more time at her own apartment; it had always been easier for Hayley. And now, even though she was clearly nervous, she didn't look uncomfortable or out of place. She had dressed up, he noted; wearing the same pair of jeans that he had thought looked so good on her the time they drove to New York to pick up Hayley's stuff, and a simple black top designed to flatter and accentuate whilst at the same time being perfectly appropriate. He wondered how much thought she had put into this outfit.
"You're probably wondering why I'm here." Cameron finally said, her voice low and quiet and her eyes focused on a spot of dirt about three inches in front of House's right foot.
"Well…" House began.
"The new doctor in Gynae asked me out. On a date." Cameron interrupted. House tried not to smirk at the way Cameron, like Hayley, had felt the need to clarify the purpose of the invitation. He decided against telling Cameron that Hayley had already filled him in.
"Ok…"
"I didn't say yes." Cameron said instantly. She lifted her face slightly and looked at him from under the cover of her eyelashes. "But I didn't say no either."
"Ok…"
"Stop saying ok!" Cameron half-snapped.
"Why?" House asked.
"Because it's irritating." House shook his head at her answer.
"I meant why didn't you say yes? Or no?" He explained and Cameron blushed; her pale cheeks flushing crimson as she stared at a guitar-shaped fridge-magnet. Slowly she returned her attention to him.
"I don't know. I can't start anything new unless…" House inclined his head slightly, willing her to continue.
"Unless I know that there's no way there can be anything between us again." When House didn't say anything Cameron's cheeks reddened again but she seemed to gain confidence and took a bold step forwards; closing the distance between them.
"I don't want to go out with him, when I could be with you." She whispered, staring up at him in a way that made him want to forget everything he and Hayley had planned and just admit what an idiot he was.
Instead he stepped backwards, muttering "I can't." Cameron almost recoiled; stepping backwards sharply.
"Can't? Or won't?" she asked, her voice clipped and almost biting with anger.
"Both." House admitted, reluctantly. A tear slid down Cameron's cheek.
"But I love you." She whispered, as if those four words were the answer to all life's mysteries. House was silent, not sure if anything he said at this point could possibly make the situation any better. He cleared his throat.
"I…" But before he could finish his sentence Cameron's was pressed against him, one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek and her lips were on his in a kiss so urgent that he stumbled backwards, leaning heavily against the refrigerator.
Knowing he would kick himself later he set his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away slightly. The look on her face was enough to make him hate himself. She was so desperate, but at the same time so calm; like she knew exactly what she wanted and how she was going to get it.
"We can't." He murmured. Cameron placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I know." She whispered sadly, before taking a step backwards. "I know." Her eyes were filled with tears as she tucked her hair behind her ear and took a deep breath.
"I know." She said one final time, before walking out of the kitchen. House leant against the kitchen counter, his forearms resting on the cool marble and his fists clenched.
He heard the door shut quietly, and before he had a chance to think a second time he was running through his apartment, yanking the door open and staring down the hall.
"Cameron!"
I know I know too much angst but I know what I'm doing, people! And angst is how it works so there :P Reviews are love!