A/N: Ooookay let's see if I can get the final chapters up a bit more quickly.

––

The place Pichu and Clefairy found themselves in was just about the last thing either of them expected.

It was a wide open, sunny, peaceful field of green grass. It extended out in all directions as far as the eye could see, and the only visible landmark was an enormous tree on a hill far off in the distance. There was no indication whatsoever of the apocalypse currently going on outside the strange pocket dimension.

Pichu blinked. "Are we… inside the moon?" he asked cautiously, looking around. "This doesn't look anything like in my school textbooks."

"Possibly because you never had any school textbooks, on account of never going to school," said Clefairy.

"Yes, that may be a factor. Also, how can the sun be up there in the sky if we're inside a – "

"Oh my gods, no one cares. Seriously, stop pointing out all the logical fallacies that will never affect anything and start looking for the stupid floating mask. Something like that should be pretty conspicuous in a place like this."

Being the worldly, seasoned veterans that they were, neither of them had much of an idea of how to proceed other than walking up to the huge ass tree in the middle of nowhere. They were surprised to find a number of small Yamask children running and frolicking around the tree, each one wearing a mask over its face.

"This is… disconcerting," said Clefairy.

"Awesome! Some kids I can beat up!" Pichu cheered, grabbing the nearest Yamask as it floated by. "Hey kid! Take me to your leader or feel the wrath of my wet willy!"

The Yamask child, who happened to be wearing Gallade's Mask, simply stared at him blankly. "Masks… you have… a lot," it said quietly, in a rather breathy voice. "You, too… will you be… a mask salesman?"

"Uh… I'm not sure, honestly. I don't really have any career goals outside of moving someplace that doesn't smell like dung."

"Should we be at all concerned that you guys are all the same species as the creepy guy who set us off on this quest in the first place?" asked Clefairy. "Actually, don't answer that. I'm sure the universe will answer me in a loud and humiliating fashion."

"…You guys are weird. But I'll play with you," said the Yamask. "So… the masks… give me some…"

Pichu frowned. "Why? I got all these masks through hard work, and the killing and maiming of others!"

"If it ends this idiotic conversation, he can have whatever he wants," Clefairy snapped at him, swiping the Couple's Mask from him.

"Heyyy, I was gonna use that!"

The Yamask took the mask from Clefairy, looking satisfied. "Thanks… you… you're nice person… aren't you?"

"…You haven't been paying attention for the past several minutes, have you," said Clefairy.

"Hide-and-seek… let's play," said the Yamask. "All right… I'll… hide…"

Everything suddenly faded to white, and the next thing Pichu knew, he was standing in a dark chamber with vine-covered walls, like something out of the Woodfall Temple. On the far side of the chamber was a door leading out, but between him and it was a series of long, rectangular rotating platforms with large pink flowers on each end.

"Hmm… well, it's clear what I must do to proceed through here," said Pichu.

"Use your Snivy flying powers to get across the room?" said Clefairy.

"Set stuff on fire until it gets me what I want!" Pichu shouted, chucking a bunch of Sacred Fire at everything and burning the forest down whilst cackling evilly.

"Is this getting us anywhere closer to Majerkass, or did you just have to drag me along on one more time-wasting distraction before the end?" Clefairy griped. "Whatever, I'm out of here." She jumped into the Shining Blue Portal and was transported back to the tree.

Somehow Pichu was actually able to cross the room from doing that, as a few minutes later he walked through the door into a small room where the Yamask was waiting for him. "I solved your puzzle, broseph!" he said cheerfully.

If the ghost child noticed the blazing inferno going on on the opposite side of the door, it didn't comment. "…You found me…" it said rather creepily. "Hey… I want… more… masks…"

"…You're a greedy little bastard, aren't you? Nothing like me, obviously. Whatever, take it," Pichu muttered, throwing it the Giant's Mask.

"Heh, heh… thanks… you're… nice," said the Yamask as it accepted the mask. "Umm… can I ask… a question? Your friends… what kind of… people are they? I wonder… do those people… think of you… as a friend?"

"My friends?" Pichu repeated. "Well they're all very patient, tolerant people who don't seem to like themselves very much. Huh. Wonder why that is." Before he could pursue this train of through any further, everything faded to white again and he was sent away.

––

All of a sudden, Pichu was standing back in the field in front of the tree. The Yamask he'd just spoken to was gone, but the others were still there, along with Clefairy, who was leaning against the tree and waiting impatiently for his return.

"Well, finally. So what cool item did you get for beating that minigame?"

"Uh…" Pichu paused. "Nothing, actually. That kid just took another one of my masks."

Clefairy frowned at him. "Are you serious? Well then, I guess we know not to waste our time talking to any more of these kids, huh?"

Pichu had already bounced over to the second Yamask child. "Hello, friend! Let's play together!"

The Yamask just stared at him with Terrakion's Mask over its face. "Your masks… give me some…"

"…Oh, fine. I suppose I could part with one and still be feared," Pichu sighed, handing it the All-Night Mask. To his surprise, the ghost continued looking at him expectantly.

"More…"

Pichu narrowed his eyes. "You want more? How many of these are you guys gonna take from me? Do you realize how awesome the power of – uh… what does this one do again?" he said, holding up the Circus Leader's Mask.

"Yoink," said the Yamask, swiping it out of his hand. "All right… I'll… hide…"

Once again, Pichu and Clefairy were transported away into a dark chamber, this one containing a zigzagging maze of stone pathways rising up from far below.

"Well, there's nothing to burn in here. Looks like I'll have to handle this the old-fashioned way," Pichu decided.

"I reiterate that this doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere nearer our original goal," said Clefairy. "But whatever. We made it this far, stopping now and dicking around until the moon falls sounds like a grand idea."

"Glad ya see it my way, C-Money," Pichu said cheerfully, slapping on the Pignite Mask and setting off on a blisteringly fast roll down the narrow path. "WAAUAUAUAGGGGGHHHH!" he shrieked as he almost immediately went flying off the edge of the path, hurtling through the air before plummeting down into the bottomless pit.

––

"Gonna try that again?" Clefairy asked after Pichu had magically been transported back to the start of the maze.

"Shut up! I'm just a little out of practice," Pichu pouted. "I'll get it right this time! The Hero of Time won't be stopped by a puzzle as simple as this!"

"I doubt that very much," said Clefairy as he set off rolling again. Almost immediately, his high-pitched screaming filled the room as he was sent flying through the air again. "And I can see I'm not needed here," she decided, stepping back into the Shining Blue Portal for the second time.

––

After several hours of successive failures, Pichu was surprised to find himself transported away from the maze and into another small room with the second Yamask child.

"Woah. Did I make it across this time?" he asked eagerly.

"You were taking too long… I was bored," the Yamask sighed. "So… I want… more masks…"

"Yeah, whatever," Pichu grunted, handing over Romani's Mask and the Postman's Hat.

"Heh, heh… thanks… you're nice… and easily scammable," said the ghost. "Can I ask… a question?"

"You just did, stupid."

"You… what makes you… happy?" asked the Yamask. "I wonder… what makes you happy… does it make… others happy, too?"

"Lots of things make me happy!" Pichu said cheerfully, enjoying any opportunity to talk about himself. "Friends, candy, shiny things, explosives, making explosives, throwing explosives, yelling, playing games, throwing rocks at police cars…" As he continued rambling, the Yamask quickly realized its mistake and transported him away in order to stop the noise.

––

"…foreign arthouse movies… hey! I wasn't done yet!" Pichu shouted as he materialized back beneath the tree.

"What the hell took you so long?! We're on a schedule here, you know!" snapped Clefairy, who'd been lounging around and doing absolutely nothing productive. "Now if you're going to insist on talking to everyone here, would you please just hurry up?"

The Yamask wearing Gyarados's Mask had already come floating up to Pichu. "You… you have a lot of masks…" it observed. "Give me some…"

Pichu glared at the ghost. "Am I going to get anything in return, other than having to play another stupid minigame?"

"No…"

"All right then!" he said happily, handing over the Lampent Mask, Dusclops Mask, and Mask of Truth before the Yamask was finally satisfied.

"Right… hide-and-seek… let's play…"

"Sounds great. And maybe Clefairy will actually stick around this time and help me finish the puzzle," Pichu said impatiently as the two of them were teleported away.

The room they found themselves in was completely metallic, containing a pool of water that led off into a long, narrow underwater tunnel with no end in sight.

"See ya 'round," said Clefairy as she saw it, instantly stepping back into the portal.

"What the – " Pichu did a double take. "Oh, fine. I don't need her help. I'll kick this thing's ass all by myself."

He put on the Dewott Mask and gracefully dived into the water… immediately hitting his head on the bottom of the pool. In his dazed and disoriented state, he was quickly swept up by the current and sent hurtling down the tunnel.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! YEEEEARRRGGHHH!" he screamed as he was slammed against the metal wall of the tunnel at every angle, tumbling head over heels through the water. Suddenly the tunnel up ahead of him branched off into two, and as he tried to right himself, he was hurled headfirst into the divider between the two branches before slumping to the floor and being carried off to the right.

After the tunnel had branched off several more times, with Pichu being whisked down one or the other with pretty much no control over himself, he finally reached what appeared to be the end and dragged himself out of the water onto dry land.

"Oh, thank goodness," he groaned, then looked around and saw he had been carried straight back to the beginning.

"I take it back. Goodness can kiss my ass."

After several additional attempts at navigating the maze of tunnels, all of which involved Pichu screaming at the top of his lungs and digging his fingernails into the wall in a feeble attempt to slow himself, he finally found the correct exit and dragged himself through the door.

"I wish you wouldn't make so much noise… you'll wake up the neighbors," said the Yamask, who was already in the next room. "Hey… I want… more masks…"

Pichu lifted his head off the floor and glared at it. "Yeah? Well I want some medical attention for all the concussions I just sustained, but I… uh… I forget where I was going with this," he said, handing over the Stone Mask, Ninetales Mask and Don Gero's Mask.

"Can I… ask a question?" said the Yamask after it had taken all the masks. "The right thing… what is it? I wonder… if you do the right thing… does it really make… everybody… happy?"

Pichu chuckled. "Well it does if you subscribe to the school of utilitarianism, which dictates – "

"It was a rhetorical question… please stop talking," said the Yamask, immediately teleporting him back to the tree.

––

"If these guys don't like my answers, they should just stop asking stupid questions," Pichu pouted once he was back where he'd started.

"These kids are just squeezing more and more masks out of you. What are you going to do when you have none left?" Clefairy asked him irritably.

"Don't worry about it. I'll still have the most powerful weapon of all… the friendships I made along the way."

Clefairy narrowed her eyes at him. "Look. There's another kid," she said flatly, pointing off to the side.

Pichu walked up to the Yamask child wearing Scolipede's Mask, seeing how the other three were all gone. "Hey buddy, wanna play hide-and-seek? I hear it's all the rage these days."

The Yamask shook its head at him slowly. "First… your masks…" it said. "I want them…"

"But I'm almost out…" Pichu complained. "Clefairy, I hate to tell you this, but I think it's time for you to give up that mask that should have been mine anyway."

"My army of the undead that could skewer you and roast you over a spit says otherwise."

Apparently sensing her mask on her, the Yamask suddenly phased inside of Clefairy and then reappeared in front of them holding the Captain's Hat.

"Stupid undead…"

Pichu was subsequently forced to part with the Bremen Mask, Buneary Hood and Riolu's Mask before the Yamask finally stopped badgering him for his stuff. "All right… I'll… hide…"

The next place Pichu and Clefairy were transported to was a series of ornately decorated rooms that looked like they belonged in some sort of castle. As they walked into the first one, a Sceptile jumped down out of nowhere to attack them.

"Guess I'm in this one for the long haul," Clefairy grumbled as a portcullis slammed down and trapped them in the room.

"Woah!" Pichu yelped as he jumped out of the way of the Sceptile's Dragonbreath attack. "Hang on a sec! How did you even get up here, dude? We're in some kind of pocket dimension inside the moon! Don't you have any friends or family you left behind on earth?"

The Sceptile immediately halted its attack. "Umm… that's a good question. Uh… I actually don't remember." It started looking around in confusion. "What am I doing in here?"

"Well, that's one way to beat it," Clefairy muttered, dragging Pichu into the next room as the Sceptile was left standing there pondering its own existence. It would eventually be driven to madness by Pichu's questioning and resort to gouging its own eyes out.

Pichu's next foe was a Chandelure who came dropping down from the ceiling. "HAAAAAAALT!" it screeched at them. "HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE UPON THE LAIR OF THE AWESOME AND MIGHTY MAJERKASS! HOW DARE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"Oh Suicune on a sub sandwich, not this again," Pichu whined as the Chandelure began throwing out Flame Bursts in every direction while screaming in Japanese. Pichu threw on his Dewott Mask again and spewed out a Hydro Pump so powerful it blasted the Chandelure into the wall, ripped a hole in said wall and sent the obnoxious ninja hurtling out of the room.

"Woah. What's on the other side of that wall?" Pichu wondered. "Some kind of infinite void that Majerkass never bothered to fill with anything?"

Clefairy walked up and stuck her head through the hole, then withdrew it with an extremely unamused expression. "The Developer's Room."

In the next room, Pichu's final opponent was yet another Golurk standing stoically in the center of the room, holding its enormous axe.

"Oh, just terrific," Pichu moaned. "Well these things come to life whenever I hit them, so the obvious thing to do would be to hit it from a safe distance away."

He immediately hurled one of his Razor Leaves at the Golurk. In response, the armored ghost suddenly flash stepped across the room and in an instant was holding Pichu up by his throat.

"DO SOMETHING, CLEFAIRY!" Pichu shrieked.

"Gee, if only I had some sort of mask on me that could control ghosts! Wouldn't that just be FANTASTIC?!" Clefairy shouted at him.

Pichu desperately rummaged around for one of the few masks he had left, slapping on the Blast Mask and blowing up in the Golurk's face. The ghost roared in pain and dropped Pichu, and the Hero of Time took this opportunity to hysterically hack away at it with the Great Fairy's Sword until it had collapsed into an inert pile of armor.

"Huh… you really are getting stronger," said Clefairy, looking impressed.

"Of course I am! All this running for my life has been great for my cardio."

The duo entered the final room to find the Yamask child waiting for them. "You found me…" it said. "Hey… I want… more masks…"

"What would you do if I didn't have any masks left? Would you just keep me here in this weird dimension forever? …Actually, don't answer that," Pichu muttered as he parted with the Mask of Scents, Frillish's Mask, the Blast Mask and the Great Fairy's Mask.

"Umm… can I ask… a question?" said the Yamask. "Your true face… what kind of… face is it? I wonder… the face under the mask… is that… your true face?"

"Of course it is, silly!" Pichu said blithely. "I may wear a lot of masks, but I always have the same face!"

"Whatever kind of breaking speech you're trying to give, it's not gonna work on him. Trust me. His stupidity is the psychological equivalent of a Kevlar vest," Clefairy grumbled.

"Duly noted," said the Yamask, teleporting both of them out of the room.

––

And with that, Pichu was transported back to the grassy field for the final time. By this time all he had left were his Snivy, Pignite and Dewott Masks, and the field was deserted. There was only one Yamask left, crouching at the base of the tree and staring at the ground.

This one was wearing Majerkass's Mask.

"…This is probably a bad thing," Clefairy said as she recognized the mask.

"Are you kidding? It's just a little kid," Pichu scoffed. "Ha! And all this time we were worried."

"You're just a little kid, and look at the chaos and destruction you've wrought since you got here."

"Yes, but it was all in the name of good… most of the time. Sometimes I was just doing it for attention."

"…Everyone has gone away, haven't they?" the Yamask said as Pichu and Clefairy approached it. "You… you don't have any masks left, do you?"

"...Well, I have these three, but you probably don't want them. They're full of dead people."

"Let's do something else, then… let's play good guys versus bad guys," the Yamask decided, suddenly producing a mask Pichu had never seen before. "Here… we can't play… if you don't have a mask…"

"Woooooah," Pichu said in awe as he held the Fierce Deity's Mask, by far the most powerful artefact he'd ever laid his hands on. He was so overwhelmed by the mask's dark power that he actually forgot to do the sound effect, much to Clefairy's relief. "Hey… wait a minute… this mask looks familiar! In fact, it almost looks just like a – "

"Ah-ah-ah, no spoilers," Clefairy sighed, pushing his hands down.

"Are you ready?" the Yamask cut in. "You're the bad guy. And when you're bad, you just run. That's fine, right?"

Pichu looked up from his new mask. "…Wait, what? Was that a threat?"

Clefairy stared at the creepy child, suddenly feeling a chill come over her. "Actually, yes, I think it was."

The Yamask child stood up, the eyes of Majerkass's Mask fixing their piercing gaze on Pichu. "Well… shall we play?"

––

Somewhere in the forest…

"Almost there… just a little farther…" came a muttering voice as the trees and foliage rustled and a figure stepped out into Termina Field. From where they were stationed, they had a perfect view of the disaster unfolding over Clock Town as all the Pokémon ran around screaming and generally being useless. The Regis were still there struggling to hold up the falling moon, despite the indeterminate amount of time Pichu had just wasted playing games and giving away his possessions.

The figure observed all this with a rather nonplussed expression. "Ugh… we're all about to die, aren't we? There's no way they're going to figure out how to solve this one. Welp, guess it's up to me."