By the time Annie and Auggie arrived to the park, the sun was setting low enough in the sky that the glass buildings shimmered with the last rays pushing through the dark cerulean sky. It was almost cliche, Annie thought, the beauty of the world against the ugliness that she needed to address with Auggie.
"It's breathtaking," Annie admired in awe, walking them to a bench near one of the more secluded fountains. His hand trailed down her arm to intertwine their fingers when they sat.
"Breathtaking," Auggie murmured in assent, but he didn't turn away from her. Annie didn't know if he was remembering the sunset against this park or if he was talking about her. It set her nerves on fire, every inch of her that was pressed close to him. She squeezed his fingers and he smiled slightly.
"Are we allowed to be here after sunset?" Annie asked suddenly, as the sky darkened further. It seemed that the park, as stunning as it was, was empty and closed.
"What are you talking about, Annie? It's dark? Oh, no!" Auggie exclaimed, sarcasm coating his voice. "The time must have gotten past me, seeing as I cannot view the sun."
Annie let out a bark of laughter. "You can't seriously be pulling the blind card."
"Only if I have to," Auggie returned lightly. "I'd hate for us to go to jail for trespassing in a park. That would really blow our chances of catching the bad guys."
Annie shook her head and curled closer into Auggie's side. It wasn't even remotely cold, especially compared to autumn and winter in D.C., but she still craved the warmth that is Auggie, both literally and figuratively. She looked out at the lush tropical green leaves waving in the slight breeze and astonished at the calm of the park in the center of the nation's capital. The park was so serene that Annie nearly dozed off against Auggie's shoulder.
"Listen, Annie, what Ivan did to you at the airport was out of line," Auggie sighed, breaking the reverent silence between them. Annie took a deep breath to center herself and nodded against him.
"I think so too. But it's not the first time that I've been slapped around," Annie cringed at the way she so loosely brought that up. She was planning on discussing her deep cover indiscretions a bit more delicately. "I mean, I was going to jump right in. I didn't have a plan, and in the long run, I can understand why he thought it was necessary to subdue me."
Auggie tensed up next to her, but didn't pull away. "Never thought I'd here those words out of your mouth, Walker. Jumping right in is just your style."
"Yes, and it has gotten me nearly killed on more than one occasion. I doubt any of them were packing heat in a crowded airport, but I could have gotten myself killed."
"That's never stopped you before," Auggie maintained, a strangled edge to his voice. "Annie, what happened when you were dark? You've changed."
Trust Auggie to get straight to the point. Annie mentally reminded herself that this is exactly what she and Auggie needed to discuss. No point in hiding behind pleasantries about their beautiful backdrop or her new philosophies.
Annie took another deep breath, held it for ten beats, then breathed out through her nose. Auggie waited ever patiently, fingers still laced with hers.
"Auggie, I had to do a lot of things that I am not proud of. And..." She paused. This was a lot more difficult than she thought it would be. "And I don't want you to think differently of me, but, as Fira said, I probably need to get this out."
Auggie shifted to face Annie, his left hand tracing up from her shoulder to land on her cheek and gently turned her face to his. "Annie Walker," Auggie paused to make sure he had her attention. She nodded once under his fingertips and he continued. "You will never lose me by telling me the truth."
The words rang in Annie's head. They were the same words she had uttered to him all those eons ago. They were still true. They would always be true. In the twisted network of spycraft, truth was something they both craved and demanded and sought. Between the two of them, they had more than their fair share of secrets. But when they dealt in the realm of secrets, there had to be room for forgiveness.
"Annie, I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of too. Hell, Fira knows most of them because she was right by my side doing them with me," Auggie started with a forced nonchalance. "I've had to do a lot of shit that would make you think twice about me, but I like to think that it wouldn't push you away. This is the reality of our lives, Annie, and we save people by doing what we have to do on missions like this."
Annie reached her hand up to trace Auggie's against her cheek. She brought his hand down between them. She didn't know if she could say what she needed to when he was stroking her cheek so tenderly, so full of love.
"We trade in a shady world of shady relationships," Annie started delicately. She saw Auggie's throat moved as he swallowed thickly. He probably knew where this conversation was going to go. "And while sometimes, I can drug my mark and not take it as far as, um, as far as sleeping with them... Sometimes that is necessary. And it's not something I'm proud of."
Auggie nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything.
"But it's not like I lost my virginity to them," Annie tried to joke, but Auggie just shook his head almost angrily.
"It doesn't matter if its your first time or your thousandth time," Auggie asserted firmly. "Leveraging your body to get what you want is not something to take lightly. But you're right. We trade in the business of relationships, and those relationships might need to be taken further than originally planned. Doesn't mean that you're any less of an operative, and, more importantly, any less of a person."
"Eyal once told me that my greatest talent was my empathy. He told me to never lose it because I never know when I might need it." Annie leaned her elbows onto her knees and cushioned her face in her hands. Auggie reached over and began to trace sweeping circles between her shoulders. "I tortured people. A lot of people. In a lot of different ways. Ways that would make even the most seasoned operatives tremble. But I got the intel. I always got the intel. But what I lost along the way... My empathy, my ability to see another human being and not just another mark, another clue on the road to finding and killing Henry? I don't know if it was worth it. I don't know how I'm supposed to reconcile the monster that I turned into with someone deserving of anything decent in her life."
"You didn't lose that, Annie. You still have all of that inside you. That's not something that will ever go away. Your real empathy shines through, even now, because you are trying to prevent what happened to you, what Henry and those fuckers did, from ever happening again. You haven't lost anything. You did what you had to do," Auggie soothed. Annie knew that logically he was correct. Henry was capable of the most heinous, heartless terrorism. She did what she had to do to take him down.
"Where do I draw the line? When does it stop?" Annie choked back the sob that threatened to spill out. Auggie was handling this in a pragmatic manner, but she knew that he couldn't be thrilled to hear this about her.
"It might never stop," Auggie admitted. "There will always be another villain out to destroy everything we stand for. And we will stop them. Using any means necessary. That doesn't make us any less deserving of love."
Annie sat up straight and threw her arms around Auggie's neck. He pulled her closer to sit on his lap and just rocked her as she hiccuped her tears into his shirt.
"I love you, Annie Walker," Auggie said simply. He repeated the words over and over until Annie's tears dried up.
She sniffled, "Thanks. I needed that."
Auggie smiled and pressed his lips against her temple. "We will find the bastards, like we always do. Then we will go home. Deal?"
"Deal," Annie agreed. "I love you too, Auggie."
"I know," Auggie teased, keeping his arms around her. "I also know that you did what you had to do. I will always be here for you, Annie. I know how hard it can get. Forgive yourself. I've already forgiven you."
Suddenly, Annie's hands found purchase around Auggie's neck and her lips pressed insistently against his. She shifted her position so that her legs were on either side of his, the only noise around them being the splashing of the fountain and the traffic on the outskirts of the park.
"Making out in public is pretty scandalous, mmm, and shocking for a Muslim country," Auggie gasped after a deep moan against her lips. His lips turned up in that cocky grin of his, but underneath it, it was apparent that there was love and adoration and the kind of passion that made Annie shudder. "House."
"I've always loved shocking the general population," Annie breathed out. She stood up and pulled Auggie to his feet too. She felt as light as the tropical breeze around them. "Flip's SUV has tinted windows. Backseat."
Auggie pulled her with a beaming grin lighting up his face. "As if I needed another reason to be into you."
#walkerson.