A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously. I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World.'

Happy Luau

At the headquarters building, Sasha is running down the hall to see head producer Dale. "Please don't tell me Carol mass murdered the entire house, we wont have a show anymore."

"No everything is fine, your brother stopped her."

The events of last night. After getting word from Glenn on Carol's initial plan to set blaze to the survivors, Tyreese is walking down the hall past T-dog's office, he has to practically whisper so that the boss doesn't get word of this. He speaks into his walkie talkie after pulling out his earpiece. "Sophia honey, I'm gonna need you on the job tonight. How close are you to your mommy?"

Just as the flame is lit Carol stops hearing Sophia calling out to her. She flicks the match a few times outing its flame, then turns around seeing Sophia with her tranquillizer gun. "There aren't any flowers for you to look at, so you're just gonna have to take the bullet straight. Sorry mommy." Carol then feels the dart being shot into her stomach and she collapses making a light thud.

Sophia speaks into her walkie talkie to Tyresse. "Its done."

Present time, In T-Dog's office, the neatly dressed man is having himself a martini and an assortment of chopped up fruits, re-watching some of his favorite episodes on his tv monitor.

Sasha comes into the room to give a report on the developments at the house, "Hello sir."

"Sasha, I already know about Carol..."

"Oh this is about Abraham and Michonne, remember they got a day away from filming. Well I just went to see them and I'd like to give them an additional day there."

"Why?"

"They seemed happy."

T-dog offers a sad Sasha a seat which she takes with a a small sigh. "I wonder if all the privileges we give this group is actually taring them apart. Rick hordes all the food, Lori wastes all the electricity, Daryl defiles the water and Michonne keeps destroying our equipment."

"Then maybe we should take everything away from them. T-dog giveth and T-Dog take it away."

Back at the walking dead house, producers Lilly and Martinez are sent to give the housemates the good news. Lilly steps forward as a few terminus guards take their positions and aims guns at the survivors. This again annoys Andres beyond belief.

Andrea's confessional. "There's like eight of us against fifty of them, why the hell are we always the ones under attack? This aint beeping juvie."

Lilly addresses the group. "It has come to our attention that you all need a wake up call...you live in this house, enjoy the amenities, but along with that is destruction to property, unsanitary living conditions..." she looks to the Dixons "and wasteful displays of electricity." Rick angrily looks at Lori. "Leaving all the damn beeping lights on again!"

"Carl is afraid of the dark, he needs the light to comfort him-" Lori justified her wasteful uses of the electricity.

"Yeah, like ten years ago... now you're just leaving the lights on to piss me off!" Rick complained.

Lilly cuts through the tension between Rick and Lori. "We're taking everything away, in a moment there will be no running water...no air conditioning" a few more terminus men rush into the house clearing it off its food. "There will be no food...from now on you'll live without your luxuries, until we think you've learned your lesson." Lilly finishes with a smile.

Rick steps forward. "Wait wait, where the hell is Michonne...why isn't she back yet?" Martinez, who hates the group's leader with a passion, approaches Rick smugly. "She'll be away a day longer, practically begged to have some more alone time with Abraham, she wont be able to walk for a lonnngg time I bet."

Rick clenches his jaw walking up to Martinez as the Daryl comes up to Rick, pulling him back. Lilly pulls back a laughing Martinez and clears out with the terminus team. It wont be long until the entire group completely loses it.

Andrea's confessional. "Its only been ten minuets since those beepy Terminus guards came in and milked us dry. Everyone's losing their cool out there. I don't understand why everyone is escalating the situation so badly... usually Michonne steps in and says something logical to calm everyone down... I'm sure Rick can make rational decisions until she comes back."

Rick is frantically pacing back and forth. "They took the food, water, and the electricity, they're trying to starve us out-take apart all of the furniture and fortify the walls-they aint taking anything else away from us... Carl?... CCCAAARRRLLLL?!" He runs off.

"There's still water in the toilets, we can drink from them!" Daryl says.

"If we are getting starved out maybe we should pick out a human to eat." Beth suggests as her relationship with Garreth has changed her perspective on things.

Rick shakes his head as he finds his way back into the living room, having given up on his second long search for Carl. "It hasn't come to that yet! But when it does, we gotta pick out the weakest in the pack, someone with a ...handicap." Merle notices the entire group but Daryl huddled together, and cautiously asks "what y'all talking bout over there?"

"Nothing Merle, you just look kinda beefy is all." Rick announced while looking Merle up and down.

Still huddled within the group, Beth keeps a watch out for Merle who's left to search for Daryl.

Lori speaks up. "I know he's my husband and all, but a woman's gotta eat. Now lets plan how were gonna get this son of a beep. One of you hold his good hand, another slips off little Merle...then we'll get to biting."

"I want the neck" Rick whispers.

"I want his legs" Andrea whispers.

"I'll take his arm..." Beth announces.

"Which one?" Rick asks.

"Not the short one, don't rip me off now I've practically fed that beast." Beth replies.

"You fed him his own hand once."

"So what, you ate it too, how did it taste Rick, was it yummy?" Beth taunts.

"As a matter of a fact...it was" Rick whispers with some sass.

"Wait, how are we gonna convince Daryl to eat his own brother?" Andrea asks.

"If we chop off the head, he'll never know." Rick responds.

Andre still looks unsure. "He'll still know it's a person."

"If we skin it good enough and just hand em a few pieces, how he gon know, unless someone tells him." Rick adds.

In the bathroom, Daryl is doing his best to get the water out, the group will need it and he uses his dog like tongue to lap it out into a large bowl.

"Darryl what you doing in here?" Merle asks finally finding him.

"I'm transferring this here toilet water into da bowl for later."

Merle raises an eyebrow thinking over Daryl's idea. "Your a dam genius baby brother."

Downstairs Rick is still panicking about food. "We would have been able to survive off of my garden. But non of y'all helped me enough to restore it, so now its dead-and we're gonna be dead because Lori ran over my peas!"

"Rick you're the one who's got a secret stash underneath his bed..." Andrea says.

"Them damn termites cleared it all, they always know where I stash my beep. How?

"Were being filmed 24/7 right?" Beth asks.

Suddenly all looks are directed at Glenn behind his camera. Glenn's camera then drops to the ground as its owner's footsteps are heard running off in the distance.

With only the overhead cameras to record the happens in the house, Rosita's on the job. Rick is seen nibbling on the steps, Rosita's badly angled camera sneaks up on him. As he hears the delicate foot steps, Rick turns around with a quick reflex and looks at the camera with splinters in his mouth then spits them out, because wood aint tasty. He whispers, "fiber! I aint dying tonight.'

Some moments later, the group is at it with another escalation. "We gotta sacrifice a child to the devil in exchange for food. A complete innocent since all y'all filthy, we can't use any of y'all...wish Michonne was here, she innocent but she gone." Rick takes a moment to frown before speaking again. "So...someone find me Carl. You bring em to me, but don't tell him why."

Carl hearing this runs around the house to hide from the crazy adults.

"I'm gonna draw the summoning circle, y'all get Carl... check under every bed... and bring him alive... Lori bring me the candles." Rick whispers as Lori nods.

"My sweet baby boy is finally gonna amount to something, we gonna feed his little soul to the devil." Lori says with a tear in her eye before the group runs off to find the last Grimes.

As a camera follows Carl dashing around the house, he ducks under Andrea's bed, seeing as Michonne's bed would be the first one everyone would check... and her bed was on fire.

Footage from a few minuets earlier shows Lori wondering into Michonne and Andrea's room with a candle. "That damn Michonne, always with her chips and candy, I bet she hides them under her bed." Lori moves the candle under the mattress for a light but leaves the flame there. She screams and jumps back as the mattress catches fire. "Oh my goodness." She runs out of the room.

"Oh my god, Michonne's bed is on fire!" Carl yells in fear as he hears noises in the bathroom and rushes in to see the Dixon brothers. Merle was rolling around on the floor as Daryl had his head in the toilet.

"They turn against you too, them vaulters eyin' my meaty body, so I'ma soil it on this here floor, Daryl storing water in his body-aint that right baby brother!" Merle calls back to Daryl who kept his head down in the toilet but gave his family a thumbs up.

"You guys gotta get out of here, Michonne's bed is on fire-"

"Daryl probably rubbing himself in her sheets again, that boy get carried away sometimes-" Merle jokes as Carl tried to open the door, but was met with flames.

"Dammit, we gotta go-" He pleaded.

Daryl finally pulled his head up from the toilet "There's still water in here, if I flush it I could get more... unless they cut the water and we lose the little that's left behind."

"Daryl's full o water, you gotta pee on the flames to make em' go down, then we run!" Merle said as Daryl shook his head.

"I aint pissin' on Michonne bed, that was the first thing she trained me not to do."

"Boy you'd better soil them sheets before I piss on them myself-"

"We could use the water from the pool... but we can't leave this room, oh my god... I don't want to die like this... please let someone else have the same idea as me to put out the fire." Carl pleaded, hoping one of the other housemates would douse the fire with pool water.

Outside of the house Michonne and Abraham finally return from their mini vacation. They share a look before busting through the front door that was illuminated in a red glow.

Carl and half of the group have scorched clothes, as Rick is holding up a candle above his head as if he was the sole light in the world. Daryl and Merle are doing an erratic dance around him while Beth is booty popping in front of the fire pit. Carl is tied up like a pig as Lori and Andrea are showering him with dried walker bits and flower petals.

"What the hell?!" Both Abraham and Michonne scream.