As much as I've enjoyed our frenzied week with Sid's family, and it has been frenzied, the quiet, empty house is exactly what I need to get some work done. Except that I can't seem to get any work done. Every time I sit down at my desk, I remember something little task that needs doing. Which reminds me, I need to wash the linens in the guest rooms. I skip off to Taylor's room and quickly strip the bed, and grab the towels from her bathroom. She's left the room in pretty decent shape, and just as I'm about to head to the laundry room I catch a glimpse of a silver envelope sitting on the nightstand. Kate is written across the face of the envelope and I have a hunch I know what this is all about. I carefully open the delicate paper, and pull out a small note card.
Kate,
Thank you for taking such good care of me. I know I was kind of a handful (or brat, as Sid would probably say) and I'm sorry. Really. I hope you can forgive me. I'm really happy Sid found you and I can see why he loves you so much. Please try to come to my graduation. Sid's going to try to make it, but he gets busy. Even if he can't come, I hope you do. Keep me posted on the baby project, not too many details, but just enough to know if I'm going to be an auntie.
Love,
Taylor
She's so cute. I feel a pang of guilt over how badly Taylor feels, and the quiet disappointment she expresses about the impending truth that Sid won't make it to her graduation. He gets busy. Too busy. Too busy to be there for the people in his life? I suppose that's true sometimes. I suppose that's true for everyone, isn't it? Taylor asks so little of Sid, so for her to ask this of him, for her to put herself out there to her brother and then to me, it must be important. I leave the unwashed sheets and hunt down my cellphone. I don't want to get Taylor's hopes up, so I text Trina instead.
When is Taylor's graduation?
She texts the dates back quickly, adding that I should come even if Sid can't make it. Again, his family protecting themselves against the disappointment of Sid's busy schedule. Of course, it won't always be like this, but it will be for the foreseeable future. This isn't something I can control, fix, or even influence. His time isn't his own, and if I think about it too much, it will only make me crazy. I check the dates against Sid's schedule, and of course, the end of the school year falls during playoffs. My heart sinks. If he can make it to her graduation it will mean the season has ended too soon, and if he can't make it, then it will mean he's letting her down. A no-win situation.
My ringing phone startles me out of my thoughts, and I'm elated to see his name and number flash across the screen. "Babe!" I practically squeal. It's only been one night, but the house feels empty and cold when he's not here.
"Hey you," I hear the smile in his voice.
"How's the hotel?"
"Fine, a little lonely," he says.
"I'm missing you," I admit. "The house is too quiet."
"When do you get here?"
"Tomorrow, but I'm only staying the one night. My family gets here in two days later, remember?"
"I remember," he laughs. "Geez Kate, I hope you don't think I'm that self-absorbed." My earlier thoughts are creeping into our conversation, and I don't want him to feel any pressure from my end. He kind of has to be a little self-absorbed, at least right now, when the pressure of winning is placed squarely on his shoulders. Sometimes I'm amazed at how he handles himself. I haven't seen him crack under pressure, or complain about unrealistic expectations, or even moan about his teammates who aren't pulling their weight. He takes it all in stride, and usually with a smile on his face.
"Well, you were the one asking!" I say with a giggle, hoping to lighten the mood.
"I meant, what time do you get here?"
"Oh, early afternoon. I've booked a room at your hotel, is that weird?" I ask nervously.
"Yeah," he laughs. "I mean, it's kind of stupid but it's the rules, you know?"
"But, is it going to be weird if I'm in the same hotel?"
"No babe, I want you here," his voice is even and firm. He needs me. A shy smile spreads across my face.
"I'm coming," I tell him. "My love, can I ask you something personal?"
"Sure," he laughs at my formality. "Ask away."
"What are you going to do about Taylor's graduation? I mean, if everything goes the way it should, you're not going to be able to go, so how can you make it up to her?"
"Babe, I don't like to make plans..." he starts, and I've heard him go down this road before. His panic about looking past the obstacle in front of him.
"Hun, this is important," I insist. He takes a deep breath, and the line goes quiet. This isn't easy for him. Sid and his superstitions don't make this task a simple one. "What if we just talk about gifts?"
"Gifts?"
"Well, she's graduating, so we'll need to get her a present."
"I suppose you're right," he concedes with a sigh.
"You're still mad at her?" I ask with a grin. If he only knew!
"Well, yeah! You know, I do a lot for her and all she has to do is ask..."
"Sid, she hardly asks for anything," I defend her. "And she's not asking for this either. This is a gift from us to let her know we're proud of her."
"I don't know what to get her. A watch?" he says hopelessly. A watch? Seriously Sid? He's the only man I know who still wears a watch, the rest of the world has their cell phones.
"Maybe I'll talk to your mom about it," I suggest brightly, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but it's clear gift-giving isn't his strong suit.
"What about a car of her own," he huffs under his breath.
"Get over it babe," I giggle.
"Seriously though."
"A car? That's a little over the top, don't you think?" I laugh.
"Well, if she needs it..."
"Do you think she'll need it at school?" I ask him.
"I know my she's been bugging my parents for one."
"Okay, let's talk to them about it tomorrow after the game. This is making you grumpy, let's change the subject," I laugh.
"I'm not grumpy," he says immediately, but his voice betrays him.
"No?" I press playfully. "Could have fooled me. What can we do to cheer you up?"
"Kate..." he moans.
"Want to hear a joke?" I offer.
"A joke?" he tests the word as if I'm speaking a foreign language.
"It's terrible, but you might like it. I'm sure you've heard it..." I reconsider my offer, but my hesitation has captured Sid's interest.
"Well now you have to tell me," he giggles.
"Oh, it's so stupid..." I wish I'd never offered in the first place.
"Katie!"
"Okay, okay. A guy walks into a bar and orders an Ovechkin," I start.
"What's an Ovechkin?" Sid chimes in, obviously familiar with this little jab. Suddenly, I feel very self-conscious about my silly attempt to get a laugh out of him. I can hear Sid smiling through the phone, and it's making me shy. "Come on babe," he encourages me to keep going.
"It's like a White Russian but without a cup," I finish lamely. "Har, har..."
"Yeah, I've heard that one a few times," he giggles. "Let's hear another one."
"Hmmm..." I think back to the radio segment I listened to, trying to recall all the bad jokes people were calling in with. "What's the difference between the Buffalo Sabres and a bra?"
"A bra has two cups," he giggles. Well, he might know the punchlines, but at least his mood is improving. "Speaking of bras..." he starts suggestively.
"Nice try Sid, you have a game tomorrow night!"
"Hey, it paid off last time," he reminds me. That's true. "FaceTime!" he practically sings, and I can't help it. His enthusiasm is infectious. Truthfully, I'm exhausted and a little anxious about my family coming. I haven't told them I'm living with Sid, and not that it matters, I'm a grown woman, but I haven't quite worked out what the arrangements will be during their visit. "FaceTime!" he chimes a second time, and I give in.
"Okay babe," I smirk and hang up my phone. A few seconds later, I'm staring at a shirtless Sid peering back at me from my iPad. "You just lay around your room half naked?" I tease him.
"Sometimes, " he shrugs. An errant thought crosses my mind, and I blurt out my next question without thinking.
"Hey, weird question, do you get a lot of knocks at your door?"
"What do you mean?" he laughs.
"Like, how often do people figure out what room you're in?" I press him.
"Honey, you have nothing to worry about?" he assures me.
"I'm not worried, just curious." I think.
"It happens, not that much, but it happens," he admits. "Okay, enough of that. Let's get you naked..."
"You really think I'm that easy?" I tease him. Okay, he knows I'm easy, at least where he's concerned, but there's no reason I shouldn't make him work a little for this.
"Katie," he moans and his face twists into an adorable pout.
"Every question you get right, I'll take something off. Every question you get wrong, I'll put something back on...sound fun?" My game appeals to his competitive nature, and he sits up a little straighter, a smile spread across his lips, and determination burning in his eyes.
"Bring it on," he challenges.
"Okay, here's an easy one. When's my birthday?" I smile cheekily, my fingers tracing the hem of my shirt, ready to lift it off until I see his mouth drop. Seriously?
"Kate, we haven't really talked about...it's just, oh man..." he takes a deep breath, and I see his eyebrows furrow in concentration, searching his brain for an answer that isn't there. "It's not today, is it?" he asks desperately.
"No babe," I can't help the nervous giggle that escapes. Not exactly a great start. "It's June 9th," I tell him easily, but it kind of stings that he didn't know, or think to find out.
"I bet you know mine," he mutters sheepishly.
"August 7th," I beam at him and motion for him to lose some clothes. This takes him by surprise. |Yes, you have to play by the rules too!" He reluctantly stands and pulls off his belt. His belt. "Big wow Sid," I frown.
"Hey, I'm already halfway there," he says defensively.
"Okay, okay," I concede. "Next question, my middle name?" I ask hesitantly. Sid's hand slaps his forehead and he buries his gaze in his fingertips. Oh no! "Favorite food?" I change directions immediately.
"Dim sum?" he croaks. I would have said cherries, but he's right. Dim sum has become a recent favorite. I quickly lift my shirt above my head and he radiates relief.
It doesn't take long before the playful game has turned, well, uncomfortable. I'm dressed, completely. I actually had to make a trip to my closet, upon Sid's insistence, and grab a cardigan, a scarf, and a pair of socks. Sid is naked as the day he was born, August 7th, but there's nothing remotely cute or sexy going on here anymore. "Babe, let's stop. This is silly," I plead with him.
"You don't think I know anything about you," he huffs. "Well, I might not know stupid little facts I can ramble off, but I know you Kate," he says angrily.
"I know that, Sid."
"If you were trying to make me feel like a terrible boyfriend, you win!"
"Oh hun, I would never..."
"Come on, ask me something else. Winner takes all!" He's panicked now, and his voice has an edge to it. I'm afraid to comply and afraid not to. He notices my hesitation and it fuels his frustration. "You have blue eyes that sometimes look green, but you hate to admit that. You sleep on your right side, even though you try to sleep on your back because you think it's better for your skin. You lay out your clothes the night before, but usually change your mind in the morning. You forget your packed lunch every Wednesday because that's the morning that chef you like is on that morning talk show, so I make sure to put it in your bag for you." Sid is rambling off inane facts at top speed, growing more and more desperate as he does. "Did you know that when we order Chinese food, you always order spring rolls for two, but you don't eat them and I don't like them, but I eat them because you think I do?" He pauses, waiting for me to answer, and I'm afraid to open my mouth because I'm sure the moment I move my mouth I'll break out into a smile so permanent I'll never look angry again. I feel my lips twitch, and Sid mistakes this as a challenge to continue. "You snore. I know you think you don't, but you do. You paint your nails too close to bedtime and then ruin the polish in your sleep. Why do you do that?" He doesn't wait for me to answer this time. "You procrastinate by looking online at dogs for adoption at the humane society. Do you know how many times I've thought about surprising you with a dog? You spend an insane amount of time at the grocery store, but usually you come back with the same damn things. What takes you so long?"
"Sid," I feel tears warm my skin. "You don't have to..."
"Ask me anything. Anything important - I've been paying attention!" he cries.
"Do you love me?" my voice trembles with adrenaline.
"You know I do," he sighs, finally settling down for a moment.
"Okay then," I smile, wipe my eyes, and quickly start removing the offending garments, the ones that would have us think we didn't know each other, that we weren't well matched.
"Your game kind of sucks Kate," Sid giggles in relief.
"Really? I kind of like the way you play," I smile at him, tortured by the distance, but warmed by his lovely outburst. "I won't order spring rolls anymore." Sid laughs loudly at the lesson I've taken away from his spontaneous confessions.
"No, keep doing it," he pleads.
"Someday," I start, my emotions getting away from me and forcing me to stop. "Someday, I'm going to shout a lovely list of Sid-isms at you, and you'll see how much I love you."
"Sid-isms?"
"Yep. You'll see." His giggling and smiling and teasing makes the time pass quickly, but the reality is that all of our fun online has been completely eclipsed by Sid's outburst and the effect it's had on me. I can't shake this giddiness, and frankly, I don't want to.