Well guys, here is a new chapter of AWCM :) I hope you guys like it and enjoy.
Also, some shameless promotion. I'm writing a Clexa fanfiction entitled Gladiators, rated M, romance.
Reviews are welcomed and encouraged.
One year after the birth of Lily Swan-Mills…
"Captain! Captain!" Hook yelled as he ran as fast as he could. Hook rounded the corner to the warehouse and entered, panting and out of breath.
"Hook? What's wrong?" Cora asked seriously as she turned around, bouncing little baby Lily on her hip who was giggling. Lily had her little FIRST MATE hat on as she happily looked towards the pirate.
"M'lady." Hook greeted to Lily, giving a bow. "Captain, I've heard words on the street."
"About?"
"A message. Winter is coming…" Hook said, watching as Cora's eyes widened.
"Any idea if this is to be a war? Or a ship battle?"
"By the sounds of it Captain, both. Take over the town, and have their ships win." Hook said seriously.
"We must prepare for battle then."
"Emma!" Regina screamed.
"What what what's wrong?!" Emma yelled back, quickly sliding around the corner of the hallway and into Lily's room.
"Where is our daughter?!" Regina panicked. "She isn't here!"
"Woah baby calm down, she's with your mother." Emma soothed, taking the woman in her arms and kissing her softly.
Regina sighed contentedly and looked to her wife. "So she is perfectly safe then."
Emma nodded and went to kiss her wife again, but a puff of smoke distracted them.
They looked to Lily's crib, and there the baby lay, with a note attached to her.
"A note?" Regina asked as she took the note from the sleeping baby. She opened the paper and began to read, her eyes widening before handing it to Emma.
"Dear Emma Swan-Mills, I am displeased to inform you that your services are required, effective immediately. A new threat has presented itself and we are in need of soldiers with your expertise. Please come to the warehouse for a debriefing at approximately 14:00 hours this afternoon. Sincerely, Your Captain, Cora Mills." Emma read aloud before flipping the paper over. "It says 'winter is coming' on the back of the note. This is some Game Of Thrones shit right here."
"I don't know what that is, but apparently you are being called to war once more." Regina said with a smile as she glanced at a sleeping Lily.
"Fear not my love, for I- your gallant knight- shall return to you." Emma said dramatically as she took Regina in her arms and dipped her, kissing her passionately.
Regina kissed her wife back and giggled at her antics.
"You had better get a move on dear, my mother will be displeased if you are late for your debriefing." Regina said seriously before squeezing her wife's ass. "And if you come back from war in one piece, I am sure I can find some way to reward you."
Emma's eyes visibly darkened. "Oh, start thinking now, because I will definitely be back to claim you."
Regina groaned before grabbing Emma and fiercely kissing her with all she had. Hands began to wander and things became more heated… that was until a certain baby started to giggle.
Regina and Emma separated and looked to their daughter who was staring at them with a large smile, and giggling, her little FIRST MATE hat still on her head.
"My mother has already corrupted her." Regina said with a sigh and a smile on her face.
"Alright my love, I am off to battle." Emma said before walking to Lily and giving her a kiss on the head. "I shall return my offspring."
"Emma." Regina said with a chuckle before waving her hand and poofing Emma to the warehouse.
"Swan-Mills, reporting for duty Captain." Emma said as she saluted her mother-in-law.
"Swan, I'm glad you're here." Cora replied as she slapped Emma on the back. "We've made contact with the enemy. Their numbers are large, and there are a number of flags flying for their ships."
"Any of them shipping someone with Regina?" Emma asked as Hook joined the group.
"Aye. Outlaw Queen is back I'm afraid, as well as SwanFire." Hook began. "There's also a ship called DragonQueen, FrozenSwan, and some CaptainSwan forces as well."
"Hook, can we trust you? I mean… your ship is out there." Emma said, causing Cora to look suspiciously at the pirate.
"Yes Hook. Can we trust you?!" Cora demanded, shoving the pirate into a wall and glaring him down.
"Of course you can Captain." Hook replied sincerely. "I never had a shot with Swan anyways, and she has clearly been in love with Regina for as long as I can remember."
"Good." Cora said. "Because no one, fucks with my ship." She growled out before moving away from the pirate.
"If we can trust Hook, we could use him to infiltrate their ranks." Emma suggested.
"I like the way you think Swan." Cora said seriously. "Hook, I want you to infiltrate their group. Find out what their plans are."
"Aye aye Captain."
"Load up on weapons before you go." Cora instructed, watching as Hook nodded and headed to the armory.
"So what do we do now?" Emma asked.
"We prepare for battle." Cora said seriously.
"Captain!" Strangers called as Hook approached the group with his flag waving above them.
"Ah, hello there mates." Hook greeted awkwardly. "What brings you to Storybrooke?"
"We came for the war of course! The battle for Emma Swans heart." A soldier said with a smile.
"Yes, you're her True Love!" Another said happily.
"Ah yes. Yes I am! I will obtain her heart, because I am her True Love." Hook announced awkwardly before smirking. "So laddies, and lasses, who is in charge of this whole thing?"
"That would be Elsa, Captain. She's the leader of this whole group."
"Elsa? The lass from Arendale?" Hook asked the group.
"Yes of course!"
"Well that certainly explains the snow." Hook said as he kicked at he white fluff. "Did she bring anyone else with her?"
"Well you're the captain of our ship. Robin is captain of the Outlaw Queen unit, Neal is the captain of the SwanFire unit, Elsa is captain of the FrozenSwan unit, and Cruella de Vil is captain of the DragonQueen unit. Maleficent doesn't appear to be very concerned about her ship." A soldier explained, causing Hook's eyebrows to rise.
"I see. Well lads, when do we strike the enemy?" Hook asked.
"At dawn." A soldier replied.
"I see. You know lads, I launched a battle for Emma's heart a few years ago and I lost, but it was one hell of a fight."
"Yeah, the Hookers, I recall." A soldier said with a smirk. "Horrid name for a group though. What did you do, roll up on bicycles?"
"I'll have you know it was all we could obtain at the time you periwinkle little shit." Hook replied through gritted teeth. "And there was nothing wrong with the name!"
"Do not insult the captain!" A soldier said before kicking his comrade.
"Yes. It was a fierce battle. I had many followers once." Hook said.
"I heard you joined up with Captain Cora and the Swan Queen armada, as they call themselves."
"I had, to get closer to Emma of course and win the lasses heart." Hook said with a smirk.
"I think we should show him our secret weapon." A soldier said suddenly with a grin.
"Show him." The other instructed.
Suddenly a large abominable iceman appeared from the snow, as well as at least twenty more.
Hook's mouth flopped like a fish as he stared at the monsters, his pants suddenly growing warm.
"Excuse me lads, I need to take a piss." Hook said before walking off and escaping his soldiers. He checked around to make sure no one was in sight before running back to the warehouse as fast as he could.
"AHHHHHHHHH SWEET MOTHER OF EMMA OH MY FUCKING JOLLY CRACKERS WHAT IN ZEUS' NAME ARE THOSE THINGS!" Hook screamed, tears running down his face as he flew into the warehouse.
"Hook?" Cora asked worriedly.
"CAPTAIIINNN THEY HAVE BIG ICE PEOPLE." Hook cried as he fell to the ground panting.
"Ice people?" Emma asked as she came to stand next to the scene.
"Giant monsters…made of ice." Hook panted out.
"Granny!" Cora called.
"Yes Captain?"
"Get me as many flamethrowers as you can."
Granny smirked. "Oh yeah, we finally get to light these bitches up."
"Yeah yeah, just don't fart around them." Cora said seriously, causing Granny to give her the finger before heading off to get flamethrowers.
"What else did you learn Hook?" Emma asked.
"They're going to attack at dawn. The ship captains are Robin, Neal, Elsa, and Cruella. Also, there are at least twenty of those icemen." Hook said, still laying on the floor and absentmindedly stroking it.
"Hook I know its your True Love but please stop stroking it." Cora asked.
"Sorry Captain."
"Anything else?"
"They have a vast army Captain, we have our work cut out for us."
"Don't worry Hook. No one is gonna sink my ship." Cora began. "If Cruella is truly here… then we have a secret weapon."
"What is it Captain?" Hook and Emma asked in unison.
"Get me White Chocolate."
It was dawn. The air was still as a soft breeze blew across Storybrooke, carrying snowflakes with it. Cora and her troops were ready for battle, all of them wearing fur armor and boots, wooden swords and battle-axes attached to their sides and backs, and shield at the ready. Cora smeared war paint under her eyes and her face before passing the paint down the line.
The enemy army began to march forward, a rumble sounding every time the icemen took a step.
"Everyone ready for battle?" Cora addressed her troops.
"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!" Came the reply.
"You all are wonderful friends, and loyal soldiers. I am so proud to have served with such an amazing group of shippers." Cora began. "Today, some of you may not leave this battlefield. But know this, the Swan Queen armada will live on and will fight every day, against any enemy. We are the most formidable, the proudest, and the most dedicated, out of all the other ships. But most importantly, we are the largest, and there is strength in numbers!" Cora yelled, gaining a rowdy cheer as the armada bashed their weapons against their shields.
"SWAN QUEEN ARMADA, RECITE THE CREED!" Hook yelled.
"We are the Swan Queen Armada, Our ship shall sail and will not sink, We ship Regina Mills and Emma Swan, We sail proud and true, We are not just a ship, or an armada… WE ARE A NATION! SWAN QUEEN NATION!" The armada called.
"Amen." Snow said with a smile as she adjusted a bundle under her fur armor.
"White Chocolate, you ready?" Cora asked.
"Lock and load bitches." Snow replied with a smirk.
"Seriously Ma, we need to get you to therapy." Emma said seriously.
"Granny, you ready?" Cora asked.
Granny held up a lighter and let loose a mighty fart, lighting the lighter and holding it near her rear end. A blast of fire shot out and she removed the lighter.
"Alright I assume that was a yes then." Cora mumbled before looking to her comrades. "Let's fuck these guys up."
"FOR THE PUPPIES!" Snow cried as she rushed forward, causing Emma and Hook to look at each other strangely before shrugging and running after her with battle cries.
The battle commenced.
Immediately it was fierce. Screams and war cries echoed across Storybrooke, travelling with the blowing snow. Cora, Emma, and Hook fought side-by-side, swinging their weapons and knocking down their opponents.
A loud engine roar drew everyone's attention, causing them to stop in their tracks.
"What the fuck is that?" Emma asked worriedly, her bright eyes contrasting against the darkness of her war paint.
"Oh no. Run, Emma RUUUUNNNNN!" Cora yelled as she pushed Emma out of the way.
Cruella had a decked out snowmobile that roared to life and cut through the snow with ease.
"White chocolate! Now!" Cora yelled as she pushed Emma behind a snow bank.
Snow opened her jacket and a litter of Dalmatian puppies sprung loose and played in the snow.
"PROTECT THE PUPPIES!" Snow yelled as a wave of her furry animal friends ran to her as the snowmobile approached.
"DALMATIANS, MY COAT!" Cruella yelled as she halted the snowmobile and chased after the puppies, screeching as Snows friends pounced on her.
"We gotta take out Elsa." Hook said as he knelt by Cora and Emma.
"Get Granny, bring the flamethrowers." Cora said to one of her soldiers.
"Cora there are too many of them." Emma said worriedly.
"Relax Emma. Granny will come."
"But Captain, if she doesn't-." Hook began.
"DID I FUCKING STUTTER!?" Cora demanded before hurling a snowball at Hook's head.
"YODA LEY HEEE WHOOOOOO BITCHESSSSSS!" Granny screamed as she slid down a nearby hill on a snowboard with a flamethrower strapped to her chest.
As she passed by the abominable icemen she hit them with the flamethrowers, making them melt into puddles.
"Wooooooohooooooo!" Granny yelled as she continued to spray the flames.
"HIT THEM WITH THE BIG GUNS GRANNY!" Cora screamed.
"INCOMING!" Granny screamed as she let loose a loud fart and pointed the flamethrower in the same direction.
"HIT THE DECK MEN!" Cora yelled as she dove into the snow.
All the remaining icemen melted instantly.
"Glad we weren't in the blast radius." Hook said as they peered over the snow. All the snow within the vicinity of granny was melted and gone.
"No shit." Emma added.
"Incoming!" Snow yelled as she swung from a nearby building, flying tree squirrels trailing behind.
"Oh man." Emma said as she jumped from the snow pile. "CHARGE!" She screamed to her troops as she led them into battle.
With the icemen out of the way the enemy soldiers began to fall one by one.
"We have them on the ropes! Keep it going!" Cora yelled as she knocked out a CaptainSwan shipper.
"VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN!" Someone shouted suddenly as they came in hot on a flying monkey.
"Zelena?!" Emma, Hook, and Cora shrieked in unison.
"Eat our magic bitches!" Regina screamed as she hurled a fireball at the SwanFire soldiers.
"Regina?!" Emma and Hook shrieked, looking to each other as they watched the sisters lead flying monkeys to war.
"My little babies, all grown up and off to destroy people." Cora said with a tear in her eye.
"Cruella is down captain!" Snow reported in.
"Excellent. Where is she?" Cora asked.
"Over there." Snow pointed to the woman who currently sat tied up and just out of reach of the Dalmatian puppies. A few of Snow's forest friends stood guard and watched the woman.
"Find me Elsa, Snow." Cora ordered.
"Aye aye captain!" Snow saluted before diving into the woods and disappearing.
Snow pushed her way through the brush, attempting to find where Elsa was hidden.
She heard two men arguing and made her way there to check out the scene.
"Barney, go scout ahead for Elsa." Snow commanded a chipmunk. The little cutie saluted before running off and leaving Snow with the two men.
"But sir, I am Charming. I am the most Charming man in all the lands and I must ask you, have you seen a woman who would fit this glass slipper?" A dark haired man asked Snow's husband.
"No. MY name is Charming and… do you mean Cinderella?" David asked the man.
"Cinderella. What on earth is that? I must find the woman who has this slipper. She came through here, into the woods."
"The woods?"
"The woods." Charming emphasized.
"Ah… yeah good luck with that. Why are you looking for Cinderella?" David asked.
"Because… I wish to have her for my own."
"Do you love her?"
"Well… I… I'm not sure." Charming stated, his voice heavy with confusion.
"Well if you love her then you should tell her."
Charming laughed heartily.
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere." Charming stated seriously.
Snow watched as her husband slapped his hand to his face.
"Okay, I should not have came into the woods." Snow muttered before hurrying off after Barney."
"We need Elsa, we need to make them surrender." Cora panted. "My sword is breaking." She said as she held up her wooden sword, barely holding together.
"Yeah yeah I hear ya. I can't keep this up. I'm dying." Emma panted.
"I thought you had more stamina Swan."
"Yeah well… Regina's been insatiable since the baby was born… I threw my hip out last week. Totally worth it though." Emma commented.
"How did you manage that?" Cora asked as she stretched.
"Kitchen sex. I had her over the counter and I saw a quarter on the floor, got distracted because I thought 'oh look a quarter, that'll buy me a gumball!'"
"Of course! Gumballs are the best." Cora replied.
"So I bent down to get the quarter while I was still fucking her with the strap on and as soon as I picked up the quarter, pop! My hip went out."
"That put a damper on things."
"Eh not really. She told me that if I wanted to be paid for sex I'd have to prove that I was worth more than a quarter."
Cora raised her eyebrow.
"So naturally I kept going. Had to go to the chiropractor the next day and get put back in place."
"Did you keep the quarter?" Cora asked seriously.
"Oh yeah, spent that fucker on a gumball." Emma replied with a smirk before fist bumping her mother in-law.
"We have her! We have Elsa!" Regina yelled as she came running out of the woods with Zelena, twigs stuck in their hair.
"Storybrooke is fucked up. There is a musical happening in the woods." Zelena said seriously.
"Zelena, you are participating in a ship battle with wooden weapons… for sport." Regina argued.
"Yeah but… there's a musical." Zelena gestured back to the woods.
"So where is Elsa?" Cora asked.
"Snow is bringing her in, the forest friends are carrying her." Regina explained.
"She mad?" Emma asked seriously.
"Most likely, Snow's raccoon Benji ambushed her with a few other animals." Regina replied.
"Seriously, is no one concerned about the musical?" Zelena asked.
"Their numbers are dwindling and so far we have no serious causalities." Cora stated.
"Guys I swear I saw Meryl Streep. I've been watching her films, I think that was her." Zelena emphasized.
"That's a first for our wars, normally someone gets tossed overboard or something really weird happens." Emma said.
"Or Granny shoots someone with a crossbow." Regina added.
"IT HAPPENED ONE TIME!" Came the distant reply.
"Guys, MERYL FUCKING STREEP, really!?" Zelena yelled.
"Hey they're bringing Elsa in now." Emma said as she gestured to her mother leading her band of furry friends. The group began to walk towards the scene, leaving Zelena standing alone, dumbfounded.
"I APPRECIATE YOU MERYL!" Zelena yelled before running after her family.
"So. Elsa of Arendale. What say you?" Cora asked as she lifted Elsa's head with her sword.
"I say that I-." Elsa trailed off, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Yes?" Emma asked as she pulled Regina close to her and waited.
"I-."
"Yessss." The group inquired.
"I LOVE SWAN QUEEN LIKE ZELENA LOVES MERYL STREEP!" Elsa yelled, tears leaking from her eyes.
"AH HA!" Cora yelled as she pointed at Elsa. "Another shipper!"
"Yes thank you for acknowledging the fact that there is A FUCKING MUSICAL GOING ON IN THE WOODS!" Zelena yelled as she gestured.
"Not now Zelena!" Cora hissed. "Now, Elsa tell your armies to disperse. This battle is over and I have grown weary."
"As have we all." Emma added before pulling Regina closer and laying her head on her wife's shoulder.
Zelena glanced at the woods, "THERE IS A FUCKING GIANT WALKING THROUGH THE FOREST AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS!?"
"Everyone stand down! The SwanQueen Armada has won… and I will join their ranks." Elsa announced, eliciting a gasp from her army.
"But Captain Elsa!" Many shouted, but Elsa silenced them. "SwanQueen… is canon. Please. Do not make this harder on yourselves. Go home."
"Oh my fucking god there is a beanstalk and the singing is getting louder. I HEAR YOU MY QUEEN!" Zelena called to the woods.
"Emma, where is Hook?" Cora asked, looking around the battlefield but seeing him nowhere.
"I thought he was around?" Emma asked as she looked.
"Great, now we have to go save the pirate." Regina muttered before taking her wife's hand and leading Emma and her mother in search of the pirate.
"I'm coming Meryl!" Zelena called before rushing off to the woods.
"My lady!" Robin Hood called. "Perhaps I could win your heart?"
Zelena put her hand on the man's face and pushed him away.
"No time, Meryl is singing in the woods." Zelena said before rushing off and disappearing.
"So where could he be?" Cora asked as they stumbled through the thicket of brush.
"I don't- wait, do you hear that?" Emma asked as they approached the nearby area.
"Look." Regina said as she pointed to a small group of terrifying creatures.
"No please, I don't even like the cold." Hook whimpered as the creatures closed in.
"Oh my fucking… those are White Walkers." Emma whispered hastily.
"What's that?" Cora asked.
"Bad news. Hook is in serious trouble."
"Do we save him?" Cora asked worriedly.
"I don't know…" Emma began as they watched the White Walkers move closer to the pirate.
"I have an idea." Regina muttered before conjuring up something and throwing it at the White Walkers. "Hey fuckers! You like pie!?"
Regina hurled the pies at the White Walkers, drawing their attention away from Hook. They immediately rushed towards the pies, excited to eat the delicious goods.
"Pie!" Emma exclaimed as she licked her lips and attempted to dive after them.
"No, bad Emma. Pie later." Regina scolded, pulling her wife from the scene. "Mother, get the pirate."
"But... pie." Emma pouted as they left.
"Oh Cora, thank god. I was so afraid." Hook whimpered as she led him from the scene.
"It's alright Hook, we will get you to safety." Cora said before stopping. "Wait… where is everyone?"
"They were all just here right?" Hook asked worriedly.
"I thought so." Cora replied.
"Into the woods, Into the woods!" A group sang as they marched into the nearby forest.
Snow was among them, leading a group of her furry friends into the forest.
"They are singing." Hook commented.
"Nope, nope, we ain't doing that." Cora said as she turned and led Hook away from the scene. "I am not singing in any musicals. I don't care if Meryl Streep is in it."
A/N: Guys I hope you liked this chapter! Reviews are welcomed and encouraged.
Also, if any of you guys like the 100 and ship Lexa and Clarke, check out my fic entitled Gladiators. Its rated M and under the Romance category.