Pureblood

by breakingfiction

I had always been confident of my place in the world. But as my friends were one by one corrupted by the whispers of a rising terror, I found my world turned upside down. Soon, I would be forced to make the decision between sticking by the ones I loved, or fighting for what I believed was right. Sirius/OC

36. Kind of Wonderful

I let out a small yelp in surprise as Sirius took my hand and pulled me briskly towards the portrait of the insufferable wench that was the Fat Lady. I was still in a foul mood – but biting my bottom lip and drowning the urge to run, I let myself just go with it.

What was the worst that could happen? I thought to myself as I felt the warmth of his hand in mine and gripped it tighter. I mean, I was only heading into the mysterious depths of my rival House, where I could be succumbed to any number of horrible and torturous activities.

Great.

I was wondering if any of my friends would think to look for me here, should I go missing, when Sirius uttered the password to the Fat Lady, which was 'Gillyweed' (was that so hard, James Potter!) and we crept through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor Common Room.

The first thing that hit me was the warmth.

After roaming around the icy corridors for the better part of the evening, a welcoming heat enveloped and wrapped its way around my body and I let the wash of comfort run over me. The smell of firewood and hot cocoa drifted over to me and I eyed the place warily as we entered, noting the Gryffindors who were still celebrating their Quidditch win from that day, some of them shooting me suspicious glances as I trailed behind Sirius, our hands clasped together.

A sickening pang hit my stomach as I realised that this was probably not the first time that Sirius Black had traipsed into this room hand in hand with a girl from another House – though surely never a Slytherin, which would account for the amount of gaping mouths spotted around the place.

I barely had time to stop and gauge just how unique the Gryffindors common room was compared to both Slytherin and Ravenclaw, with its crimson walls and giant, roaring fireplace, before I was lead to a cluster of plush, scarlet chairs pushed in front of the warm fire.

Sirius stopped briefly to yell 'Map!' at James, who was cosily squashed up in one of the armchairs with Lily Evans, his arm stretched out across the back of the chair behind the red-head, who had a large, open book laying in her lap which she was studying the aged pages of.

Wait, what?

I shot a questioning glance at the pair of them before I silently thanked Merlin there was no sign of my sister, Serenity, as I suspected she would happily hex me if she saw me in here with Sirius Black of all people.

That is assuming that she still has that ridiculous crush on him.

Which I suppose isn't nearly as ridiculous to me now considering that I'm kind of dating him…

Whatever.

James threw the pair of us a quizzical look and a piece of folded parchment before I was dragged up to what I assumed was their dormitory, where Sirius shut the door behind us with a soft thud. I took the chance to peer around the room briefly.

Dimly lit by a few warm, glowing lanterns, I could see that it was much the same as the Slytherin Boys' dormitory, though with four large beds set out in a circle instead of a line, and covered with scarlet, velvet drapes instead of emerald green silk. The floor – in contrast to the grey stone of Slytherins – was a warm, rich mahogany, and a large bay window set in the wall between two of the beds captured a picturesque night sky.

I slinked towards the window without thinking, taking in the sights of the inky black sky littered with hundreds of blinking stars with wide eyes. The sight was breathtaking, I thought with a small stab of envy. All we Slytherins had to look at was a murky, old lake – sometimes we even caught a glimpse of a cheeky Grindylow or two.

Sirius waited patiently as I took in my fill of the sights, and I soon turned back to him, watching as he leaned back on the door with his arms crossed against his broad chest and an amused grin playing on his lips.

I rolled my eyes at his smug expression and waved a hand.

"So, what's this big secret then?" I asked dryly. Sirius held up the piece of parchment he had retrieved from James, and his mouth turned upwards in a mischievous smirk.

"This," He said simply, and I pursed my lips tight, raising my dark eyebrows and indicating for more information.

Sirius pushed himself off of the door and sauntered the length of the room towards me, "If I show you this, you must swear that you won't tell a soul,"

I scoffed darkly at his dramatics and placed my hands on my hips, growing impatient.

"Just how mysterious can an old piece of parchment be?"

Sirius grinned at me before taking his wand from the back pocket of his jeans, pointing it at the parchment and stating, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"

With a look of supressed joy, he handed the parchment over to me, and I took it apprehensively.

Holding the unfolded parchment in my hands, I expected to see just that – a plain old piece of paper. But words had started to appear out of nowhere, and a small gasp escaped my lips.

Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present…

I looked up briefly at Sirius, utterly perplexed, though he simply winked at me delightedly before I looked back down at the appearing words.

THE MARAUDERS MAP.

Confused, I unfolded the map further to find images of corridors and rooms twisting over the old, aged parchment in black ink. Stairways, and towers and hidden alcoves littered every space of the previously blank, creamy canvas, and I felt my stomach twist inside of me.

Is this actually what I think it is?

Immediately my eyes were drawn to the largest room labelled simply as 'The Great Hall' – carefully sculpted with four large tables running the length of the painted room.

Hold on, this can't be what I think this is.

And then I noticed the most peculiar thing – tiny, inky footsteps, outside the Great Halls doors and in the room labelled 'Entrance Hall' – pacing backwards and forwards with small letters printed in a cursive font besides them.

'Argus Filch'

What… the hell… is this?

"This… this is a map," I managed to stutter dumbly, and Sirius chuckled at my stupor before moving to stand behind me and peek over my shoulder, the warmth of his chest pressing against my back. Tiny electric shivers ran up the back of my neck.

"Not just any map – the Marauders Map,"

His warm breath tickled the side of my face and I looked sideways at him, dumbstruck, and noted how his silver eyes glinted with amusement.

"But, it's a map of Hogwarts," I added, accusingly, "Hogwarts is unplottable – how is it doing this?"

Sirius shrugged casually, stepping around to stand before me. "A rather elaborate and complex set of Charms – let me tell you, making this damn thing was no picnic. But, I suppose it was worth it in the end."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," I repeated the introduction to myself in a disbelieving murmur, "You lot made this?"

Sirius answered only with a crooked grin – his sculpted cheekbones looked exceptionally striking in the dim light of the lanterns and I had to tear my eyes from him – this map was quite possibly one of the most intriguing magical items that I'd ever seen, and I simply couldn't understand how four buffoons like the Marauders had managed to create such a thing.

A slither of jealousy panged inside me as I wished I had even a glimmer of the talent used to make something so remarkable.

After indulging my curiosity a few minutes longer, Sirius cleared his throat and stepped closer to me, and I caught a trace of his familiar cologne mixed with the smokiness of a crackling fire which made me long to melt right into him.

"Want to see something cool?"

I nodded dumbly as he took the map and scanned it quickly before setting his finger on a point, which my eyes followed to a room labelled "Gryffindor Seventh Year Boys' Dormitory, and there right in the middle, were two dots with the names 'Sirius Black' and 'Alexandra Cortez' beside them.

I smiled at the sight.

"This is amazing," I breathed, and watched as Sirius took his wand again, whispered 'Mischief Managed,' and the black ink disappeared into nothing as the map once again became a standard piece of parchment.

"Thanks," Sirius answered as he let me take the map and inspect it in its new form, "It's too bad it won't be around much longer,"

I stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have a plan…"

"This can't be good,"

Sirius chuckled lowly. He tapped me under the chin affectionately, and I supressed a smile.

"The Maps pretty useless to us once we've finished here at Hogwarts, so we thought, why not let Filch get his grubby, Squib hands on it?"

My lips pursed in obvious confusion and I asked, "And that would be a good thing how?"

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and paced in front of the old, four posters – his sneakers thumping on the wood beneath his feet.

"Filch knows there's something about that parchment – he's seen us with it a million times, and now he's as desperate as ever to confiscate it from us. But once he does, there's no way he could possibly figure out what it is."

He sent me a roguish grin, and I shrugged in question, asking for more information, which Sirius obliged.

"First of all because he doesn't know the incantation, and secondly because he's a crazy old Squib who can't produce a lick of magic to save his life,"

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I tried to understand this theory. I folded the map into a small square and passed it back to Sirius, speaking flatly.

"I fail to see how letting him find it would be of any use then?"

Sirius moved to the side of one of the four-posters, opening the top drawer of the bedside table and dropping the map inside, along with his wand. He straightened and removed his crimson Quidditch jumper, revealing a black t-shirt underneath. His lips quirked upwards at the sight of me gawking at him stupidly – his eyes glinting with the subtle arrogance that only he could pull off while still looking as irresistible as ever.

My breath hitched in my throat.

"There's bound to be more no-good pranksters under these roofs in the future – and if they ever find the map and figure out what it is, then I'd say they deserve to have it,"

I was barely listening to what he was saying at this point, his voice a low, amused rumble as I dragged my eyes over his chest and stomach, admiring how his tight-fitting shirt emphasised every toned muscle. I supressed the savage urge to tear the fabric off him and run my hands over his skin beneath.

"Hmm… so, hang on," I started, my voice growing thick as I pulled myself out of that haze and forced myself to meet his eyes. "This is how you knew where I was tonight?"

"Uh, yeah," Sirius replied, sheepishly running his fingers through his dark hair before sitting on the edge of what I assumed was his bed.

Squaring my shoulders towards him, I folded my arms across my chest.

"Because you were just casually looking over it while you were in the middle of celebrating with your team?" I asked pointedly, suddenly irritated, and took in a deep breath, "Or because you've been keeping tabs on me?"

Sirius let out a long breath – his hair falling over his face in soft waves of raven-black. He turned his eyes on me and I almost faltered as I fell right into them.

Why did he have to look so god damn good when I was trying to be mad at him!

"I know how it looks," He started, oblivious to my inner struggle as he held his hands up in innocence, "But I really was worried about you, Alex. After the game you seemed… I don't know. Upset?"

I sighed softly and sat next to him on the bed, looking at the floor as I bit on my lip and willed the heat rising inside of me to cease.

"I've had… a rather overwhelming day," I confessed, and Sirius placed a hand under my chin and gently tilted my face towards him, his expression sombre as his voice quieted.

"Alex, you can't push me away every time you're upset about something that you think I won't understand. I see your pain – it hurts me more then you know,"

A glimmer of affection flittered through me and I let my head fall against his shoulder, smiling softly.

"Why are you so amazing," I breathed, to which he answered with a low chuckle.

"Trust me, love, I've been asking myself the same thing."

I fell into the moment, relaxing as Sirius' fingertips ran up and down my back gently. A thick wash of exhaustion came over me and my eyes felt heavy and swollen from crying earlier. I glanced around the room curiously. Two of the other beds were made neatly, with minimal personal objects on the small tables. The third was in a state of completely disarray, with its covers hanging over the side messily and various books and items scattered about.

There was no doubt in my mind that it belonged to James Potter.

"So tell me," I started, curiously, "What's with those nicknames you guys all have? Why Padfoot?"

Sirius smoothed my dark hair and kissed me on the head dismissively, and then I felt his deep voice rumble through me.

"Well, I couldn't divulge all of my secrets in one night, could I?"

I turned out of his grasp, and raised my eyebrows at him.

"Exactly how many secrets do you have?"

He grinned and began to count on his fingers dramatically.

"Well there's this, and also the one with the… oh and that one time the lads and I… heh… and the goat… we mustn't forget the goat,"

I narrowed my eyes darkly and pressed my lips into a tight line – clearly unimpressed, but he merely laughed and pushed a strand of hair off of my face and behind my ear, before putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'll tell you one day – I promise. Until then, just think of it as a stupid guy thing."

I pulled away and rolled my eyes, not happy with the answer at all, but Sirius simply tilted my chin to face him, and then suddenly, most perfectly, his lips were on mine and I was melting into the touch and the taste of him.

But there was one small thought that still lingered.

I pulled back from Sirius abruptly, and he groaned unhappily, dropping his forehead to rest on my shoulder.

"Okay, I just have to ask. What the hell is going on with Potter and Evans?"

Sirius' raised his dark eyebrows in disbelief.

"That's what you think about when we're snogging? Good to know,"

I hit him in the arm gently and he chuckled before explaining.

"They've been dating for about a month now – I guess Lily finally began to see something in James. Well, that and he's not nearly so much of an obnoxious prat towards her as he used to be,"

I looked at him, feeling both dumbstruck and a little disgusted at the news.

"How did I not know about this?"

"Honestly, I didn't think you'd care."

"Fair point,"

Sirius surveyed me through stormy eyes. "Look, about James. I'm not going to force you to be mates with him, but who knows – maybe if Lily can learn to like him, then you can too,"

"I highly doubt that," I replied sourly, and Sirius rolled his eyes lightly before lying back on his bed and pulling me down next to him.

He put an arm around me and I curled against him, letting out a comfortable sigh and relishing in the warmth of his body, the smell of rosewood and citrus in his cologne, and my own exhaustion pressing down on me.

"Alex," He said softly after a while, "I feel like I have to tell you how sorry I am… for everything I've put you through in the past,"

I looked up at him to find his forehead creased in quiet anguish.

"You don't have to say anything, Sirius. You know I've done plenty of things that I wish I could take back," I answered quietly, my voice heavy as I pushed back his sleeve gently to trace my fingers over the scar I had left on his forearm.

Back then.

Back when I was stupid, and naïve and thought I knew better than anyone else. The very memory of that short battle on the Hogwarts Express sent a tidal wave of shame and guilt washing over me.

Sirius let out a low breath and laced his fingers through mine – his tanned skin rough and calloused from his time on the Quidditch Pitch with a bat in his grasp.

"I feel as if I could apologise a million times and still it would never be enough."

I bit my lip gently and sighed.

"We were both wrong – it doesn't matter now,"

We can forget the horrible things we had done in the past, and instead focus on the fast-approaching and unpredictable future, was what I didn't say out loud. But that was what I wanted so badly. To forget – forget the past and start anew.

Because the truth was that when I was with Sirius I didn't feel so lost – so alone. That empty part inside of me filled with fire and warmth and I never wanted to let go of it.

"You know, from the very first moment I saw you on the Express, I was hooked," Sirius said with an amused grin, "Imagine me, eleven years old – love at first sight,"

My heart lurched as his smile faded, and I watched as he relived some distant memory with a stony gaze – his face pale and drained.

"I tried to get you out of my head – all those other girls, none of them were like you – I was haunted all those years by something that was never mine in the first place. And then Serenity… a constant reminder of what could have been. I could hardly stand to look at her,"

I struggled to breathe after listening to Sirius' words, let alone speak. Sirius dragged his stormy eyes to meet mine.

"And then I saw you with my cousin, Bellatrix, after the Sorting Ceremony, and I couldn't stop the bitterness. And when you became friends with Malfoy, Rosier and Lestrange – all the people that I hated – that bitterness grew into something much darker. It sounds silly to say, but I felt like something had been taken away from me. I expected you would turn out exactly as they had, and for a while I thought you did,"

The colour returned to his face, and he peered down at me warmly.

"Until you proved me wrong,"

I propped myself up on one elbow to look at Sirius. His grey eyes were soft in the dim light of the room, and the corner of his lips quirked upwards slightly. I felt as though I could never tire of just simply looking at him – the perfection that I thought he was.

"I liked you too, you know," I admitted, sheepishly dropping my eyes to gaze over the fabric of the comforter. "I couldn't understand why you wouldn't talk to me, and I blamed it on my House and let myself think that I was divided from everything and everyone who wasn't a part of it,"

Sirius nodded his understanding softly.

"But the truth is that I loved my old friends, and I'm proud to be in Slytherin, even now. I'm beginning to understand that I embody the goodqualities of my House, and it feels… freeing, somehow,"

I thought of those qualities and the very few in my House who possessed them. I thought of Regulus who was kind and clever and good-hearted, and knew that the absence of him – my brilliant friend – was one that I would never quite know how to fully endure. But here I was with Sirius, who was all that Regulus was and more. Who was brave and selfless and relentlessly fought for everything that was good in the world. Here was the man who could quite possibly be my future – not the one who would determine it but who would step aside and let me decide it for myself.

"You're so much more than I expected," Sirius breathed, running his fingertips down the side of my face gently before they came to rest under my chin. "You've shown me how poisonous prejudice can be, and that there's always, always a better path. The friends that you have now, you've brought together from all different backgrounds. You did that, Alex – and I'm convinced that their friendship will follow you anywhere,"

"You make me sound like some sort of miracle worker,"

Sirius grinned and snaked his hand to the back of my head before pulling me closer, and whispering against my lips.

"To me, you're everything,"

I sighed into his kiss and he pulled me against him, holding me tightly as his lips parted mine. Before I knew it I had forgotten all about the Map, and the nicknames, and everything. My world constricted only to the feeling of his tongue in my mouth and his hands working their way under my jumper where they singed my skin with his fiery touch.

I didn't want to be miserable anymore – I wanted to be happy, and loved and free. I wanted to know that I was making the right decisions for myself and that above all, whatever was thrown my way, I wouldn't have to face it alone.

Sirius pushed himself up into a sitting position and pulled me into his lap where I straddled him and he took my face in his hands, kissing me hungrily, his tongue scraping my teeth as he claimed my mouth with his own. A surge of pure heat coursed through me. I wanted him. Now and forever.

"I want you to know," I pulled back just enough to whisper shakily, "That every second I spend with you heals that pain that's inside of me. I love you – I'm yours,"

His only answer was a low growl as he tore his lips from my mouth to my neck, sending a rush of fire flowing through my body and I felt him gasp against my skin as my fingernails jolted into his back and he ground his hips against me.

I flicked my long hair to the side, giving him better access to the soft skin of my neck, biting my lip and failing to stifle the low moan that escaped me. His mouth found mine again and soon he was tugging at the hem of my sweater, and following his direction I pulled it up and over my head and then the shirt underneath followed it, letting my dark hair spill over my bare shoulders.

His stormy eyes met mine, both of us breathing ragged and uneven. Every inch of me craved his touch, his love, and when he traced a finger over my bottom lip and whispered, "I love you," the control that I had barely managed to keep a leash on so far, snapped.

I all but tore his t-shirt off and finally, finally succumbed to the desire to run my fingers over the bare heat of his chest and then down to his toned stomach. I was willing to give myself entirely to him. I wanted to let him consume and fill every single inch of me until there was nothing left – no sadness, no fear, no regret – nothing but the love I felt for him.

I kissed him deeper and he growled softly into my mouth. My hands dragged themselves through his silken hair, pulling gently, while his own grappled with the button of my jeans, then in one swift movement he lay me flat on the bed so he could tear them off me, before I wrapped my legs around his waist – drawing him closer – running my hands over the warmth of his back and muscled shoulders.

As the night went on I could feel the empty hole inside my chest growing smaller and smaller with every touch, every kiss and every caress. And afterwards, when I lay in his arms and finally let myself fall into a deep, peaceful sleep – I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.

**

I woke with my head rested on Sirius' shoulder and his arm curled around me. The gentle rise and fall of his chest told me that he was still very much asleep. Lazily, I pushed myself up, immediately missing his warmth, and peeked out the drawn curtains where I threw a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

It was still early, but I knew that very shortly the inhabitants of the castle would be waking up, and I most definitely did not want to be caught sneaking out of the Gryffindors boys dormitory looking as rumpled and heavy-eyed as I did.

I pulled back the scarlet curtains slowly and peered around the room, taking a few moments to ensure that none of the other boys were up before hastily dressing and tip-toeing towards the door, stifling the desire to laugh aloud at the horrendous snoring that was coming from James' wide, open mouth.

I crept out of the Gryffindors common room – stopping for a second to consider whether I should sabotage the Fat Lady while she dozed against her frame, but then thought better of it – and snaked through the silent and still corridors of the school, peeking around every corner to make sure no-one was patrolling. Finally, I made it through the freezing dungeons and into the Slytherin common room, which was still heated by the warmth of the dying fire.

I let out a sigh of relief and I clambered up the stairs to my dormitory, and pushed the door open slowly, not wanting to wake anyone.

That, however, proved completely unnecessary as three curious heads whipped in my direction when I entered.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Oh, shit.

I shut the door behind me with a click and raised my arms in front of me, shielding myself from the venomous gaze of Isobel, who tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for my answer.

"It's not what it looks like…"

"You were with Sirius, weren't you?" Kendra smirked before I could explain further. She and Violet were still lounging around on their beds, Kendra dressed in a pair of cozy, plaid pyjamas and Violet in a navy tank top and matching track pants, curled up to her snow-white cat, Molly.

"Uh, well…"

"Well go on," Kendra tested with a lazy grin and flipped onto her back. "What was he like?"

My eyes widened in alarm.

"Wha-? Kendra, no! Nothing happened!" The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, and my cheeks flushed with colour. Of coursesomething had happened – and I'm sure my face gave it away entirely.

"Pfft! You expect me to believe that?" Kendra teased as she rolled off her bed and crossed her arms against her chest in a silent demand.

Isobel let out a defeated huff and waved a dismissive hand at the two of us, "Well, whatever it was, you're back now at least. I can finally stop envisioning you being dragged into the Forbidden Forest by Merlin only knows what kind of terrors,"

I felt a pang of guilt for worrying her, and I placed a calming hand on her shoulder and gave her a pointed look – she let out a sigh and her shoulders slumped. "I was worried, Alex, after all that you've been through," She admitted, her lips thrust into an unhappy pout, "You're the best friend that I have in this place, truly,"

My heart burst with affection for her and I pulled her into a hug while laughing softly under my breath. "I'm sorry I worried you, Iz. Next time I'll send you a… owl or something,"

"Next time?" I could hear the laughter creeping into Isobel's voice, and I pulled back to give her a withering glare.

"Don't you start,"

She faked offence and said, "Me? I would never… but maybe Sirius will shed some light on your sleepover last night,"

I faced three entirely smug grins with a graceless scowl and I flipped the three of them off before I stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, where I failed to contain the smile that had been threatening to spread across my face.

A short while later the four of us, freshly showered and dressed, headed to the Great Hall for breakfast – and I was ravenous.

I rubbed my stomach longingly as we ambled casually through the Entrance Hall, the three of them still probing me for any information they could get, when we bumped into Professor Slughorn who was bustling our way, whistling cheerily. We halted our chatter at once lest he overhear any unsavoury details.

"Good morning girls," he greeted us, completely unaware of our previous conversation, his large hands resting in the pockets of his yellow waistcoat. "Lovely warm weather today, isn't it? I do rather enjoy the spring-time,"

We all murmured our agreement, eager to get past him and into the Hall towards breakfast, before Slughorn shifted his gaze to me. I groaned inwardly.

"Alexandra, might I have a quick word with you?"

I almost cried at being deprived of my breakfast, but I indicated with a nod of my head for the girls to go on without me, and followed behind Slughorn out the large, entrance doors and into the sunshine. He was right about the weather – the morning chill was quickly making way for what promised to be a balmy, spring day.

Slughorn closed his eyes and lifted his round face to the sun, enjoying the warmth. The scent of jasmine hung in the air, and I shifted a little uncomfortably, wondering only what it was that Professor Slughorn wanted of me. And on a Sunday!

His voice was soft when he spoke next.

"I don't mean to push you, by any means, but I wondered if you had thought any further about your future after Hogwarts?"

I let out an obvious sigh. I should have seen this coming – Slughorn had been bothering me for months about it, and I knew that with N.E.W.T's fast approaching, I couldn't avoid the conversation for much longer.

But still – I was missing out on food for this?!

"I haven't, Professor," I answered, before saying truthfully, "I just can't figure out what I'd be suited to – I've not really excelled at anything in particular."

Slughorn opened his eyes and surveyed me curiously, his blonde moustache twitching on his upper lip.

"I've been talking to your other Professors, you know. Professor Keyes thinks that your performance in Defense against the Dark Arts has increased dramatically since you've been attending the advanced lessons, and he's confident that come N.E.W.T's you have the potential to obtain an 'O' even,"

Slughorns voice was approving, though I couldn't hide my shock at the news. I was so used to thinking that the teachers of Hogwarts were all so daft and unaware that I never thought they would see that kind of potential in me. To achieve an 'Outstanding' in any of my N.E.W.T's was something that I had previously thought would be impossible for me, who had only hoped to achieve 'Exceeds Expectations' at the most.

"And Professor Goodley assures me that you've always had a firm grasp of Arithmancy, and with a little more confidence and dedication you could excel in the subject," Slughorn added.

I, personally, had never had the patience for Arithmancy, whether out of laziness or disinterest, but felt a small rush of pride that Professor Goodley thought of me in that way.

I was seriously starting to suspect lately that the Professors knew a lot more about me then they let on.

It was really creepy.

"And I know how very skilled you are with Potions, once you separate your mind from your many distractions," Slughorn turned to face me fully now – a kind smile pulling on his lips. I wrinkled my nose in confusion, having no idea where he was going with this information. Slughorn, sensing my hesitation, spoke gently.

"I don't wish to hold you up any further today, so I'd like to ask you to stop by my office tomorrow morning before classes. I have something in mind that I think you'd be very suited to,"

He left before I could say anymore – strolling down the gravel path that led down towards the Herbology greenhouses, before they veered off further towards Hagrids hut and the Forbidden Forest.

I watched him with a furrowed brow, wondering what on earth he could possibly have in mind for me, before I shook the thought from my head and carried on towards the Great Hall.

Because I knew, that of all things, I'd have to be in a resilient state of mind for what I was about to encounter in there.

Merlin save me.

"Well, well – someone snuck out early this morning," James quipped, confirming my thoughts, as I squeezed onto the Gryffindors bench between Sirius and Xavier and shot him a dark glare.

"Did you manage to successfully slink back to your own bed before anyone witnessed your walk of shame?"

James let out a loud yelp of pain as Sirius kicked him under the table and I narrowed my eyes at the messy-haired prat, throwing him an obscene hand gesture. I leant closer to Sirius' shoulder and whispered low enough so Isobel wouldn't overhear.

"Be careful of the girls – they're trying to get information on last night,"

"What kind of information?" Sirius asked, his face mere inches from mine. I had to force myself to look away before I was tempted to kiss him right then and there over our breakfast, and I could feel my face heating.

Godric, he looked good with wet hair.

"The sexual kind," I said breathily, before pulling away and stealing a cherry tomato from Remus' plate with a cheeky wink.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and his eyes scanned over the area where the girls were seated on the other side of Xavier, along with Max and Oliver.

"Duly noted," He said, his grin showing a flash of white teeth.

Xavier shifted beside me, before enquiring cheekily through a mouth full of scrambled egg.

"Something you want to tell us, Alex?" He raised his eyebrows and I elbowed him in the arm, feeling a burst of satisfaction when he started spluttering and choking on his eggs.

Nosey prat.

"So, what's everyones plans for today?" I addressed the group in an attempt to sway the conversation – thumping Xavier on the back so he didn't choke to death.

James let out a dramatic sigh.

"Quidditch practice – we have to train our new Beater, quickly."

I raised my eyebrows in concern and peeked past Sirius to question James.

"What happened to Colin?"

"His family left the country," Sirius noted in a gruff voice before his best friend could answer, "They didn't tell anyone where they were going. They just pulled Colin out of Hogwarts, and left."

I stopped for a moment, stunned by the information, before I thought of how Xaviers' friend, Jeremy Colbert, had also met the same fate.

"Do you think this will start happening to more students?"

"I think it's smart," James answered with a nod, "Things are getting worse – it's only a matter of time before people start realising that they're not safe here."

"Way to stay positive, Prongs," Remus interjected sharply from across the table, his voice icy with sarcasm. James shrugged his shoulders in innocence.

"I'm just being realistic, Moony,"

I tuned out the boys bickering and glazed over the spread of food in front of me. I had been starving when we left the dorm this morning, but now my stomach churned unpleasantly – I didn't think I could eat a single bite.

I glanced at the girls, who were talking amongst themselves with the Ravenclaws, before I realised that Xavier's mood had turned dramatically – his eyes downcast as he moved his food around his plate with a fork.

I gave him a small nudge.

"Are you okay?"

He stopped and spoke in a strangled voice.

"My parents have gone, too. They left for New York three days ago,"

I felt Sirius stiffen beside me, but I was too busy staring at Xavier in complete and utter horror to notice much else. Xavier shrugged sadly.

"My Mum's a Muggle, as you know. And my older brother is on a work transfer, he has a place all set up in the city. I was supposed to go with them, but I refused. As you can guess, they're not too happy with my decision,"

My heart dropped as I reached out for Xavier – this boy who in such a short space of time had become one of my very best friends. I had to find a way to help him somehow, but was at a loss for what I could possibly say or do to make him feel even the tiniest bit happier.

I rested my hand on his arm and felt all of the pain and worry he kept inside as he looked at me with those warm, brown eyes, before he ran a hand through his hair sheepishly.

"Well, I have a tactics meeting with the Team – we should get going,"

He pushed himself up from the bench and indicated to Max and Oliver who rounded up the remainder of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and headed out the doors of the Great Hall together.

I watched their retreating backs for a few moments before I caught the gaze of Isobel, who's eyes were wide and terrified, and in that moment I knew her very thoughts. This war was creeping steadily closer to the people that we loved – soon, we wouldn't be able to hide from it.

I sucked in a deep breath as Sirius put a hand on my back, calming me. An uneasy hush had fallen over our group. I needed to get out of there – thankfully an escape offered itself in the form of Remus Lupin.

"Pete and I had planned to work on our Patronus Charms," Remus said after a few moments, breaking the tension.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked quickly, just as Remus was swinging his long legs over the bench to leave. He flashed me a small smile and nodded

I knew that I couldn't escape the war, but I could certainly prepare myself for it – and practicing that advanced magic was the best way to do it.

"Sounds great – maybe between the two of us we can whip Pete into producing something move then a wispy strand of light,"

I kissed Sirius on the cheek lightly, promising to meet up with him later, before trailing out of the Great Hall with Remus and Peter – and the dread of Xavier's story trailing out with me like a heavy cloak. An unnerving feeling was gnawing on my insides as I thought of the families who were forced to flee their homes out of sheer terror. I felt helpless – knowing that the world was not as safe as it should be.

Remus, sensing my thoughts, spoke quietly.

"Why do you think Xavier chose not to go with his parents?" He asked, and I let out a long sigh.

"I don't know – there could be many reasons, I think. He's not the type of person to do something without thinking it through first,"

Remus nodded and said no more as I followed him through corridors and up staircases, until when I was finally out of breath and leaning against the cold, stone wall to catch some air after the millionth set of stairs, he at last announced that we had reached our destination.

Immediately I recognised where we were, and I hesitated. An outrageous tapestry of some old crackpot attempting to teach ballet to a group of trolls hung on one side of the stone corridor, and on the other…

A series of questions shot off with a bang in my head. How did Remus know about the secret common room on the seventh floor? And why would he pick this, of all places, to practice magic? Surely it wasn't big enough for that.

Remus paced the corridor a few times until a door appeared – but this one was different to what I had usually found when I came here. Instead of a small, wooden door this was a grand, double entry carved of cold, hard metal.

"What the hell?" I managed to breathe and Remus and Peter both turned to look at me oddly.

Realisation dawned on Remus' face as he said. "Oh – we don't usually bring anyone new here. This is the Come and Go room,"

"I've been here before – but it didn't look like this,"

Remus pushed on the steel doors which opened to a large, empty hall inside. The floor went down a small set of stone steps all around the room, so that it looked like a pit in the middle. The room was adorned only by a handful of brass lanterns scattered over the walls, and no more.

"The room takes the form of what you need most – we need a place to practice magic, and here we are,"

I paced the room slowly, running my fingers over the cracks in the stone walls and across the bright lanterns, trying to decipher exactly howsomething like this room was possible. Until it occurred to me that when it came to the wackiness of Hogwarts, I should really stop asking questions.

"Does it show up on the map?" I asked, without really thinking, and turned to Remus and Peter, who stopped in their tracks at the question. Peter's eyes shifted unsteadily.

"What map? Remus enquired cautiously.

I rolled my eyes lightly. "Sirius showed me,"

Remus breathed easy again. "He… wow. He must really like you,"

"Apparently he loves me," I smirked darkly, and it was Remus' turn to roll his eyes, though he smiled warmly.

"It doesn't show on the map. I think because it's constantly changing form, and when it's not in use it somehow doesn't exist,"

I continued inspecting the room as Remus got Peter set up with practicing his Patronus charm. I didn't know what I was looking for, exactly – some sort of loophole, perhaps? Or something to indicate how exactly this room got its power. After a while of finding nothing, however, I grew weary. And when Remus sat beside me on one of the stone steps, another thought flittered to the surface of my mind.

"Remus, I got another letter yesterday," I confessed to him, before telling him the contents and everything that Logan Dwerryhouse had told me about Dumbledore's visitors, including my conversation with the Headmaster afterwards.

Remus studied me curiously when I had finished explaining. "So you think that 'A' and 'F' relate to the names of these brothers?"

I shrugged.

"I have no idea who these people are, or what they want from me, in all honesty."

He thought for a moment as he turned his gaze on Peter, who was still struggling with his wand in the middle of the room.

"Well – Wormy, no, you're waving your wand in the wrong direction! For Godric's sake…"

I waited for Remus to finish correcting Peter's wand movement before he returned to the step.

"It all sounds a bit weird, but I trust Dumbledore. If he thinks you should go, then maybe you have nothing to worry about. Besides, Sirius will be there with you, won't he?"

I flushed slightly. "I don't know – we haven't talked about it,"

Remus raised his fair eyebrows, amused.

"You're going to a Ball and you haven't asked Sirius to be your date?"

I shrugged non-committedly and he chuckled lowly

"Well, James will be there anyway, with his parents. I know the two of you don't exactly get along, but if there's anything you need, he'll be there,"

I snorted. "I doubt it,"

"You shouldn't," Remus said, "Sirius and I obviously think incredibly highly of you – James will see it eventually, and maybe you'll find something worthy in him too,"

I chewed on my lip in thought, knowing that it must take a toll on Sirius to have his best mate and, well, me, constantly at each other's throats, but what else could I do when James-idiot-Potter was constantly acting like the world's biggest moron.

"Have you told Sirius about the letter?" Remus asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"No. I don't want to worry him,"

He laughed, "Do the two of you talk about anything?" And then he made a face, "Actually, don't answer that."

I chuckled and hit him in the shoulder playfully. "Of course we do! I've just been distracted with the thought of meeting whoever is sending me these notes. I haven't thought about a date for the ball, or what dress I'm going to wear, or even the fact that I'm going to be home for the first time in almost two years,"

Something strange must have shown on my face, because Remus grasped my hand.

"It will be okay, you know,"

I smiled at him gratefully, and as he released his grip on my hand we both went back to silently watching Peter. After observing the small boy for a minute or so I felt a surge of pity towards him as he circled his wand through the air, over and over, never giving up – I had to do something to help.

"Why does Peter have so much trouble with his Patronus?" I asked Remus, my voice hushed so as not to break Peter's concentration.

Remus rubbed the back of his neck in thought before answering, and I could hear a thread of weariness in his low voice.

"The Patronus Charm is difficult magic – many Witches and Wizards older than us can't produce a fully-formed Patronus, and those that can spend a long time learning how to. You have to have felt true happiness to be able to even stand a chance,"

My gaze returned to Peter and I rolled over that thought in my mind.

"He's had a rather lonely life, I think," Remus added after I had made no move to continue the conversation. "He's close with his Mum, but he doesn't connect with people easily. I understand how that feels – so I try my best with him,"

I felt a sharp stab of pain in my stomach. My happiest thoughts were of my home, and I supposed that I was lucky to have experienced that love and safety in my younger life. Even if I had trampled it to dust now, I was determined to have it back.

I pushed myself up from the step. Peter eyed me a little apprehensively as I approached him – his blue eyes, unlike the solid sapphire of my own – were pale and watery, like rain.

"Mind if I try?" I asked him, and he moved aside to let me take centre stage. I collected my thoughts with a deep breath until I held my happiest memories of home in my mind, and circled my wand in the air in front of me.

"Expecto Patronum!" Just like the last time I had tried, a silver rush of energy sprang from the tip of my wand and the ghostly fox darted in circles around the room. I turned to Peter, who was watching my Patronus glide around the room with wide eyes, and said to him.

"Try to really emphasise the letters, like 'ex-pecto', not 'es-pecto'."

"Okay, I'll try," Peter said, a little nervously as he raised his wand and tried again. This time, however, instead of mere wisps of light emitting from the end of his wand, a small, silver cloud floated around in the air in front of him.

"Much better," I smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, "Keep practicing, Peter – you'll get it eventually."

Peter looked genuinely pleased with his efforts as Remus clapped his hands in congratulations and strolled over to the two of us.

"Well done, Wormy!"

"Thanks," Peter said with a crooked smile, holding his wand in between his two hands in front of him, before turning to me and saying, "I didn't know that Slytherins could be kind."

I stopped suddenly. It was an odd thing to say, but I rolled the sentence over in my mind. I had never been called kind before. Even when I was younger, before Hogwarts, I had been selfish – dragging Serenity into all sorts of crazy schemes, whether she wanted to participate or not. Always wanting to be faster and better then everyone else. My sister had always been content to sit back and let me have my glory – to her, it didn't matter.

"The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, you know," Peter blurted out, his face turning a deep shade of red. Remus stiffened behind me. "I've never told anyone that. I was embarrassed… but, I don't mind so much now."

Peter went back to practicing and I turned my head to Remus who was blinking at his friend in utter confusion.

"That was…different," He said in a voice thick with amusement, and I agreed with a nod of my head.

My Patronus was still floating nearby and I watched it for a few moments more, admiring its large ears, its sharp eyes, its graceful agility.

"You know, a Patronus says a lot about a person, and yours is… interesting." Remus said lowly. I raised an eyebrow at him, not sure whether he assumed it good or bad.

"How so?"

"The fox is the hounds natural enemy," Remus shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants and kicked at a crack in the floor, "And Sirius, well, his Patronus is…"

"Is a dog. I get it," I said dryly, with a wave of my hand. "I guess we've defied all the odds then, hmm?"

Remus smiled softly.

"It does suit you well, you know,"

"What do you mean?" The fox came closer, slinking around Remus' legs with a certain affection, and he smiled down at it.

"Well, the fox is known for its adaptability. A lot like you, don't you think? Given everything that you've been through this year,"

I took the compliment with a shrug of my shoulders before laughing under my breath and crouching to let the fox nuzzle it's nose against my hand. It felt cold, and strange – but also kind of wonderful.

"They're also known for their deceitfulness but we're not going to lay that trait out in the open, are we?"

Remus acknowledged the statement with a cocked head and a half-smile on his full lips.

"A certain amount of cunning will do you well,"

I returned his smile and thought on his observation of my Patronus before I sent it over to dash around Peter's legs, hoping to draw some inspiration from him. I turned back to Remus.

"You know, if you had told me a year ago that Remus Lupin would become one of my closest friends and I'd be dating Sirius Black – I would've hexed you halfway to Hampshire for even thinking it,"

Remus stopped and looked at me curiously.

"You really think of me that way?"

"Of course"

He smiled at me gratefully and I thought about what Severus had told me.

If you only knew how dangerous they are. Lupin, especially, he's–

Sirius refused to shed any information on the statement, but I knew – I knew – from the way he had reacted that there was something he wasn't saying. What was it that he was hiding from me?

Some secrets are not mine to tell.

"Remus, I wanted to ask you something," I started lowly, trying to find the right words. "There was something I heard, about…"

I wanted desperately to ask him the question that had been rolling around in my head for the past week, but the words were caught before they could leave my tongue.

Why does Severus think you're dangerous?

I studied my friend for a moment. He wasn't particularly striking as looks go, not compared to Sirius and James, yet he had a handsomeness about him. His eyes were kind and his smile gentle – and he could be fierce when the occasion called for it.

But as I looked into his eyes – although the three scarred lines that ran across his face gave him a certain wild edge – he certainly didn't seem dangerous to me. Maybe Severus had misunderstood… Or maybe he didn't really understand as much as he thought he did.

I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"About Isobel," I offered lamely, trying to cover my mistake. "I'm sure she'd throttle me if she knew I said anything, but I think she quite fancies you."

I wasn't quite sure, but I thought a wave of sadness washed over Remus' features before he said.

"Isobel's great – I like her a lot, but…"

"What is it?"

"It's nothing,"

I wanted to ask more, but I was interrupted by the opening of the door and Sirius strolling through the room, a sheepish expression playing on his handsome features. He grinned broadly when he approached the pair of us and pulled me into a constricting hug, raining kisses down on the side of my face and neck. Remus made a gagging noise and paced backwards a few steps and I giggled and fought to escape Sirius' grasp, then finally when I was free I asked.

"What happened to practice?"

Sirius ran a hand through his dark hair and looked at the ground, biting his bottom lip nervously.

"Slight problem – the new guy kind of got knocked in the face by a Bludger,"

Remus and I looked in him in simultaneous horror, and Sirius shrugged in innocence.

"How, may I ask, did that happen?" Remus tested.

"I may have been too hard on him," Sirius admitted with a pained expression. "James is taking him to the Hospital Wing."

Remus shook his head in mock disappointment but I merely grabbed Sirius' arm and started to pull him out towards where Peter was still practicing his Patronus in the centre of the floor – the silvery cloud becoming more defined with each effort he put in. My own Patronus darted away from Peter to follow the two of us instead, and Sirius eyed it with interest.

"Well, since you're here, how about helping me practice my wandless magic?" I suggested, and Sirius grinned darkly and pulled his wand from his pocket, before brandishing it in my direction.

"I hope you know that just because you're my girlfriend, doesn't mean that I'm going to go easy on you," He drawled, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"There goes that word again."

He pouted. "If you'd rather I stop saying it, little fox, I will – but just know that it would make me terribly unhappy,"

I stopped and put my hands against his chest, letting him wrap his arms around my waist and draw me into him.

"Well, we can't have that can we?"

He supressed a smile, trying to remain serious, and failing miserably.

"What are you saying?"

I pulled away, taking a few steps backwards and shot him a teasing grin. I didn't know what I was being so stupid about, really. I knew that I didn't have to be afraid when I was with him.

I loved Sirius. I wanted us to be together. And it was the thought of that that made me bite my lip and say honestly.

"Whatever makes you happy, Mr Black."

**

A/N: Finallyyyyyyy. This Chapter has taken me a ridiculously long time to write! And although it's the longest one I've written so far, it's kind of boring, but the NEXT chapter I'm going to post I think will be my favourite one so far. New characters are coming, lots of action and other things, Alex's home and family, the Ministry Ball all with N.E.W.T's and graduation fast approaching! Exciting!

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think in a review and remember to check out my writers page (link on my author page) for more information! Loves!