For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1.

Chapter 38
(Adama's POV)

I'm afraid I'm caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place here.

Even though I know Laura means well, I also know she doesn't have a clue of what happened on New Caprica, she doesn't know what it is that we are dealing with here and I am almost painfully aware of the fact that it's not my place to fill her in but at the same time she is the President and that means I can't order her to stay away. She is the one person I can't control and that's a problem because I am all too aware of what the stakes are, of the damage Laura could do by going in blind.

The truth is that ever since she first woke up, and with the exception of her disastrous 'reunion' with Sam, Kara has had almost no contact with anyone who doesn't know. Lee and I have been there, as has Cottle, but that has been the extent of it and even the doctor has been careful to keep the staff that is tending to her to a minimum. In fact, now that I think about it, I can see that that 'staff' has effectively been reduced to one: Ishay, a woman Cottle trusts... and even there I suspect that he filled her in on some of the basic facts of Kara's case.

That would be SOP as far as the medical staff is concerned but the thing is that just by marching into sickbay Laura is bound to bring a new variable into play and I don't know if Kara is ready for it.

Sure, the rational part of my mind knows that sooner or later Kara is going to have to start interacting with people who don't know what she's been through, especially because eventually she will be released and I don't intend to make a ship-wide announcement when that happens. In that regard Laura is as close to 'safe' as we are likely to get for a first encounter. Unfortunately I am also well aware that 'close to safe' is not the same thing as 'safe enough', so that is not much comfort.

On the one hand there is the fact that Laura is a woman, she is more experienced and less impulsive than most of Kara's friends but on the other she is curious, she is not used to taking 'no' for an answer and she could easily end up pushing too hard without even noticing. That's what's bothering me.

Simply put, it is one thing for her to tell me that I don't get the luxury of 'personal' and quite another for her to say something like that to Kara... especially now.

I am still thinking about that when I realize that Laura is speaking to me.

"What is it, Bill?"

"Nothing," I reply, not really meeting her eyes and still not knowing how to explain but she just raises an eyebrow at that and I realize that I'm going to have to do better than that.

"I don't want to see her hurt," I finally say after hesitating for a moment.

"And you think I do? Do you really think I'm going to hurt her?" she asks, glaring at me.

"Not deliberately, no, but..." I trail off.

"But there is something you aren't telling me and you are worried about it. You are afraid that I am going to accidentally say or do something that is going to make this worse," she finishes for me, letting out a sigh.

"Something like that," I admit before going on. "I almost lost her and... I don't want you to push."

"I won't," she promises.

"Fair enough," I agree after a couple of seconds, knowing that that is the most I am likely to get here, so I reluctantly pick up the phone to ask Cottle to let us know the moment Kara wakes up and I also ask him to give her a heads up about Laura's impending visit... to let her know what is coming.

To say that Cottle is not happy about this would be an understatement, especially when he asks me what Laura has been told and I tell him 'nothing' but this is out of my hands and he knows it, this is something I can't protect her from... and I hate it.