Author's Notes: In Chapter 38, Spock and Nyota's plans are revealed.
Due to a last minute "emergency" in my department, I am teaching six courses instead of my usual four classes this semester. Obviously, this situation has cut into my Fanfiction writing time. Still, I will try my best to keep on top of things to "quiet the characters" who won't seem to let me rest until I set their words and deeds on the page.
As always, your comments are encouraged and greatly appreciated.
11:19 AM, Nyota and Spock's Room, Hotel Britannique
Uhura lay face down on the portable massage table set up in the room. It was not the first time she had ever experienced a Swedish massage; however, she had never undergone one as extensive. The expert hands of the female masseuse attentively focused on each part of the East African's body, taking special care to dissolve any adhesions she found. It surprised Uhura how many "knots" she seemed to have. Yet, it seemed to confirm how much stress she experienced that week concerning her father and its detrimental effects on her relationship with Spock.
Spock. Uhura wondered where he had taken himself, while she slept. It was his prerecorded message, which served to awaken her that morning.
"Nyota." Spock's voice called to her. "Nyota."
"Hmmmm . . . Yeah, Baby." Uhura reluctantly opened her eyes from her restful sleep. Then, she became surprised to find the Vulcan not by her side.
Spock's recording continued, "When you hear this message, the chronometer will register 9:30 AM. It will be necessary for you to arise and clean yourself of evidence of our nocturnal activities."
"Nocturnal activities?" The East African shook her head. "We were making love, Baby."
Spock informed her, "I have been assured a female masseuse will arrive promptly at 10 AM, so you should have ample time to prepare yourself for the session. I will return to our room no later than 11:30."
Uhura would have preferred being awakened by Spock in person. Yet, she told herself she could not complain, since After all, my Vulcan is such a wonderful lover.
Then, she laughed – thinking, Yeah, like you have someone else to compare him to.
A smile . . .
As she told herself . . .
I don't want anyone else . . .
Don't need anyone else . . .
So good now . . .
It's so good now . . .
It can only get better . . .
A giggle . . .
Don't know how . . .
But it can only get better . . .
The masseuse handed Uhura her robe and turned her back until the East African called to her. She told the masseuse, "I've never felt better. Wait a moment, while I get my card to show my appreciation."
"No, thank you, Mademoiselle." The therapist told her as folded up her table. "The gentleman has already taken care of it."
"Is that right?" Uhura answered, as the Spock came through the door. She noticed the Vulcan wore a knit cap covering the tips of his ears, as well as, a black leather jacket over a maroon turtleneck sweater and brown slacks.
"Good day." The masseuse told them both as she left the room with her table and equipment.
Uhura stood grinning before him, but the Vulcan only returned a curious look.
"Well . . . " She uttered.
He replied, "Perhaps, you should provide a bit more clarity to your expression."
"I'm waiting." She told him.
Spock asked, "Waiting for what?"
"After all, you did choose to abandon me for a while." The East African walked toward him. "The very least I deserve is a good morning kiss."
He retorted, "I trust the services of the masseuse was most appreciated."
"Spock." She remarked. "You're being evasive."
He commented, "Then, let me be direct."
Uhura's face brightened in anticipation of his touch, but his answer was not what she expected.
He told her, "You will need to dress yourself in clothing suitable for the outdoors. You must be ready to depart no later than 11:50 AM, so we may reach our destination no later than 12:30 PM."
The Vulcan realized his directive would be met with resistance as soon as he saw Uhura's hands move up to her hips and take her combative stance.
"Now, wait a minute, Spock." She began. "I don't know what time you woke up this morning, but . . . "
"5:13 AM." He interjected.
"5:13 AM?" She repeated. "Baby, I don't know if you've heard but the Academy is on break this week."
He commented, "That is why I allowed myself the luxury of oversleeping by 13 minutes."
Uhura gave Spock the look, before continuing, "I want to thank you for giving me more than 13 minutes. But, unlike me, you probably had the chance to eat breakfast."
"You are quite correct." Spock answered. "I ate sufficiently at a local café."
She retorted, "Well, I don't think it would be too unreasonable for me to have the opportunity to do the same."
"By the time you dress yourself, lunch will be more appropriate for this time of day." He noted. "I have already made those arrangements. However, we will arrive late if you do not commence with your toilette."
Uhura studied the Vulcan, sensing there was something he was not readily disclosing. The East African removed her hands from her hips to signal her capitulation.
"All right, Spock." She told him. "I'll play along with whatever you have cooked up. But . . . " She placed her hands upon his chest and cast her large brown eyes up to meet his. "What about my kiss?"
"It is much too soon for that gesture." He answered as if it were a matter of fact. "It will be much more suitable later in our schedule."
Uhura readied herself in 14 minutes, a full three minutes ahead of Spock's mandated departure time. Still, when the pair left the hotel and faced the cold air, the Vulcan set a brisk pace, which forced the East African to almost run to keep up with his long strides. He guided them a block south to the Seine and then westward along the river's bank.
"Hey!" She called to him, struggling to keep up. "Could you slow it down a bit?"
He noted, "I am proceeding at a normal rate, Nyota."
"Normal for who?" She countered.
Spock considered her question, and then adjusted his gait so Uhura could more comfortably keep up with him.
"Thanks, Baby." She sighed. "That's a lot better."
Uhura looked to the Vulcan, but his eyes stayed focused ahead of him. How she yearned to take hold his hand, but even far away from the Academy she understood the two could not risk being seen engaged in such a public sign of affection. Yet, she reasoned, we could at least carry on a conversation.
"Spock." She called to him.
"Yes, Nyota." He answered.
"Yesterday afternoon back at my hotel suite I listened to several messages." She told him. "One was from Habibah and Yasmin. It was Habibah who let slip you had spoken with her earlier that morning. Is that true?"
"Yes." He replied tersely.
Uhura asked, "Did you approach her or did she come to you?"
Spock's hesitancy to respond initially caused her to think he had not heard her. Then, he finally revealed, "It was the morning after the incident at the Soba-ya restaurant.1 Initially, Habibah proved quite reluctant to speak with me. However, she finally conceded and met me in the lobby of her hotel."
10:09 AM Lobby, Concorde Opéra Paris Hotel
Sitting stiffly in a leather chairs across Spock, Habibah crossed her arms and eyed the Vulcan coolly.
"Ten minutes." She announced.
"As agreed." He retorted.
"You really should be talking to Nyota." She argued. "Avoidance doesn't solve anything."
He remarked, "You are taking up my allotted time with immaterial comments."
"Then, come on with it." She told him, as she quickly checked her chronometer.
He requested, "Please describe Nyota's relationship with her father."
Habibah stared at him blankly, before asking, "What does this have to do with last night?"
"Perhaps, nothing." He replied. "Maybe everything."
Habibah shook her head, before sitting back in her chair in reflection. She then spoke, "My parents told me that when her mother died when Nyota was still an infant, Kafil became both mother and father to his daughter."
"Yes, Nyota has related this to me." He commented. "However, one parent households are not an unusual occurrence in most cultures."
"But it's not quite the same." Habibah struggled to find the right words, before saying, "There is a Swahili proverb, Mama kwa mwanawe, mtoto kwa mamaye. It means, A mother is for her child, the child is for its mother. For our people, in love and suffering parent and child depend on one another; nobody else can substitute."2
Spock remarked, "You are saying, Nyota and Kafil shared a close bond."
She answered, "I am saying, Nyota and Kafil share a close bond. Do not fool yourself into thinking it is no longer true."
He questioned, "Are you aware of her father's xenophobic views?"
She responded, "I learned of his hateful opinions shortly after Kafil was exiled and Nyota learned of his racist activities."
Spock asked, "Then, explain to me how Nyota can have room for both he and I in her heart."
She retorted, "You already seem doubtful such a thing can happen."
"I am trying to understand . . . " Spock paused, hearing the note of irritation in his voice. He took a calming breath and began once more. "I am making an attempt to understand her logic."
Habibah could sense the frustration as well as the sincerity underlying his request. Despite all that had happened between Nyota and Spock, Habibah wanted their relationship to succeed. She believed, Kifuniko inafaa sufuria vizuri.3
Habibah contended, "You would have to have seen them together before his arrest when she was 16. Although Kafil was a very successful businessman, he was in her life as much as possible. Yes, one expects a parent to support academic pursuits, but he also took the time to do many other things to encourage her personal growth."
Spock commented, "He was attentive."
"Oh, yes. Very much so." She answered. "I recall how Kafil always tried to be at home to have dinner with her and, in opposition to usual gender roles, he spent hours braiding her hair. Whenever possible, he assisted with the coaching of her football team and spent their weekends going to the beach, a musical event or museum. And, Nyota would tell me, she especially looked forward to the evening hours when he would tuck her in bed. There, they would read a story together or sing one of our people's songs."
The description caused Spock to reflect upon his own childhood, often spent alone in the care of servants due to his father's demanding schedule as Vulcan ambassador. While there were occasions allowing discussion between he and his father, none bore significant similarity to the intimate relationship of parent and child as depicted by Habibah. And, although his mother tried to find moments to show her affection, Spock most often rejected such actions as being too human and, thus, undesireable.
"His love for her was never in question." Habibah continued. "Neither is her love for him . . . Or, for you, Spock."
"How much comfort could such an acknowledgement provide?" Spock asked with a note of bitterness, "How is it possible for Nyota to love that which her father hates?"
Discerning his confusion, she answered gently, "Someone much wiser than me once said, The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death."4
Spock argued, "It is impossible for both of us to share her affections. One day, Nyota will be forced to disappoint one or the other. And, I do not intend on being the one to fall out of her favor."
Habibah reproached him, "Spock, if you think of it as a competition, you will find yourself without her. She'll feel she has no choice, but to stay away from you in order to protect you."
He asserted, "Her fear is irrational."
"Call it what you may, Spock, but it does not negate its presence." Habibah contended. "The threat is real to her and nothing you can say or do right now will convince her otherwise."
"Then, we are lost." He concluded coldly and thrust himself up out of his chair to leave. But, Habibah's would not let him go so easily.
The East African rose from her seat and boldly charged, "Nyota is not the only one who is afraid."
Spock turned back and replied, "I have no fear of Kafil."
Habibah retorted, "Kafil is not the issue here."
"The allotted period has expired." The Vulcan commented. "I would not want to infringe on any more of your time."
The Vulcan began to walk past her, but Habibah stepped in his path.
She questioned, "Spock, how many times can you cut and run?
The Vulcan locked eyes with the East African and gave voice to his sentiments, "You know not what you speak. Do you not know that Nyota is my wife and I am her husband?"
"Just saying it, don't make it true, Spock." She told him. "Both you and Nyota have to live it."
Spock declared, "We are of one flesh."
"If you really want to give this relationship between you and Nyota a chance, both of you have a lot of growing up to do." Habibah charged, "You'll have to learn to rely on each other to get through this journey together."
Vulcan lowered his eyes and tried to come to terms with what Habibah had told him.
Silence.
Then, Spock gave words to his fear.
He told Habibah, "I am not sure Nyota believes as I do."
"What are you talking about?" Habibah questioned. "You should know her love for you is genuine. She is incapable of giving her love indiscriminately."
"I have never questioned the gift of her love." He replied. "However, I have wondered if she truly feels we are one."
She asked, "You mean, that you are married?"
"Our joining came about under circumstances quite alien to Nyota." He admitted. "Several times she has called me, Husband. Yet, the bond between us as Husband and Wife has not manifested itself as is usual among Vulcan couples."
"But of course, Nyota is not Vulcan." Habibah countered. "Perhaps, the sort of bond you seek is not possible."
"My mother is human." He noted. "And, yet, the bond between my father and mother is unmistakably evident . . . I desire this for us . . . for as long as we shall live."
Habibah nodded. "I have, yet, to be involved in a long term romantic relationship. However, I know it took quite a bit of time to develop the deep feelings I share with Nyota and the other precious ones. Maybe you are expecting too much of her right now."
"Perhaps, that is true." He conceded. "Yet, it still does not explain this sense that she does not feel truly joined to me."
12:12 PM At the entrance to the Ponte de la Concorde5
"That's enough, Spock!" Uhura said as she stopped abruptly in her tracks. "I don't want to hear anymore."
Bewildered, the Vulcan turned back to her. "I have not concluded the retelling of my our dialogue."
"Spock, you should have first come to me, not Habibah." She told him. "I would have told you all about my relationship with my father."
"I needed to hear about it through a more objective lens." He replied. "Habibah was the best candidate for the task of learning what hold Kafil has on you."
"Your conversation did not end there." She charged. "All of that conjecture, about whether or not I feel some sort of bond with you. I don't understand how you could speak of such private issues about our relationship with Habibah and not with me."
"Nyota, have you already forgotten the events of Tuesday night in which your hasty departure from the restaurant forced a rather abrupt end to the evening's social activities."
Spock words served to quickly convict her. Hindsight informed her she had not handled the situation well. Yet, she felt too conflicted and confused at the time to act otherwise.
The Vulcan continued, "I revealed all that was in my heart before you and those you hold dear . . . And, yet, you left me, Nyota . . . you left me."
The East African felt her throat tighten as if in a stranglehold. No apology could relieve her anguish evoked by the truth of his statement. She realized she had given him no chance to speak with her for the rest of that evening. And, even if Spock had tried to intercept her, she knew she would have spurned his advances. Too well Uhura understood their reconciliation depended more on the machinations of the Marini's, Amber and her friends rather than her and Spock's own actions.
Yet, despite her feelings of inadequacy and doubts, Uhura realized this to be a pivotal moment in their relationship. She willed the fighter within her to resurface, as she became determined not to let either of them down.
Raising her eyes up toward Spock, she told him, "You must think you're in love with a complete idiot."
"Your statement speaks quite ill of my judgment." He quipped. "Would you care to try another approach?"
A breath, then . . .
"My foolish pride was behind the criticism of you going to Habibah to find clarity on these matters." She confessed. "I thank God for Habibah. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. At least, you had her to turn to when I was too wrapped up in my own self to take the time for anyone else."
"You must leave me a share of the culpability." Spock told her. "Too often, I find myself incapable of giving you the emotional support you need. And, yes, I do find it more accommodating to express my flaws to someone other than you. As your protector, I should not provide you any reason to doubt my resolve."
"Spock." She tenderly called to him. "If I have given you any reason not to trust me enough for you to share any of your concerns with me, then somehow I have failed you."
The East African reached up and touched his face with her hand. "I promise you from this day forward, I will be there for you. Baby, all you have to do is tell me what you need."
The Vulcan did not know how long they held this pose . . .
Perhaps, a few minutes . . .
Or, only a few seconds . . .
But, he felt it . . .
He felt the bond flickering between them . . .
Long enough . . .
He felt it long enough . . .
To assure him that the bond was possible . . .
They would only have to find a way to feed and nurture it . . .
Providing enough light and room for it to grow . . .
He answered her, "I believe you have satisfied my need for now. We shall return to this . . ."
Spock suddenly felt cold where her touch left him, as Uhura took several steps away from him. The tall, Vulcan tilted his head slightly to the side to indicate his curiosity with her action.
He asked, "Nyota, why do you move away from me?"
She replied, "When I became a Christian, I was taught the 'Serenity Prayer.' It begins . . .
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time."
And, a smile came upon her face as she shared, "I wanted to take the time to fully enjoy this moment . . . to take it within me and keep it for always."
She then walked back to him, until they were once again only a few inches apart.
She added quietly, "So good now . . . It's so good now . . . It can only get better . . . Don't know how . . . But it can only get better."
"Yes." The Vulcan looked down upon her happy eyes. "The vow you earlier proclaimed is, indeed, most agreeable to the future of our union. I shall do my part to ensure its fulfillment."
"How do you expect to do that?" She asked.
Spock answered, "Nyota, since you are only human, I will endeavor to remind you of your promise from time to time."
Her resulting laughter lifted the Vulcan's heart.
When she found her tongue once more, she suggested, "I know it will be taking a bit of a risk, but this may be the perfect time for you to kiss me."
But, as soon as she spoke, it appeared her words reminded him of something requiring his immediate attention. He turned quickly away from her and adopted an even faster pace than the one he had initiated when they first left their hotel.
"Hey!" She called to him as she moved quickly to catch up to the fast walking Vulcan. "Why did you . . . Why did you take off like that?"
"We lost five minutes and 20 seconds with that interlude." He replied. "If we do not pick up our pace, this afternoon's schedule will be amiss."
"What schedule?" She questioned breathlessly. "I thought we were . . . just trying . . . to get to lunch."
He answered effortlessly, "There are other activities which require strict attention to time for all those concerned."
"All those . . . concerned?" She questioned. "What are . . . What are you talking . . . about?"
"You are sounding as though you are winded." He remarked. "If you desire, I shall review your personal fitness plan to identify strategies to boost your stamina."
"Leave it . . . to you . . to bring up . . . my physical . . . regime . . . when . . ." Failing to complete her sentence, she exclaimed as she ran beside him, "Oh, Spock! . . . this is . . . insanity!"
"There's no need for hyperbole." The Vulcan retorted.
"Then . . . tell me." She tried to catch her breath. "Why . . . Why . . . the rush?!"
"Nyota." He replied in a tone suggesting she should already know the answer. "I should think you would not want to be late for your own wedding."
Author's Notes: In Chapter 39, Spock deals with a challenge to the marriage, as well as, "sticker shock." However, he overcomes these conflicts to finally see his bride join him at the altar.
Your comments are always welcome.
1 See Chapter 34.
2 This is from the web site, "Swahili Proverbs: Kiswahili Methali," maintained by the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign.
3 Literally, the Swahili translates as Pot lid fits well. This is a paraphrase of a proverb extolling the need for the bridegroom to fit well with his intended mate.
4 A quote by Oscar Wilde.
5 An arch bridge across the Seine River