Lots of mixed reactions last chapter. That's good and what we expected. This chapter is going to be a little different so buckle up. The song for this chapter is: "Been a Long Day" by Rosi Golan www*youtube*com/watch?v=I2vDLM4Hamk and here is the pictease: twitter*com/DiscordiaWrites/status/327845222560174 083/photo/1

Thank you to AshesAshes for an emergence beta job. We threw this on her with 24-hours notice and she busted it out like a champ. Extra snuggles for you, Dory.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Thirty-Four: Uncertainty

By the time the plane landed in D.C., I was a wreck. I'd managed to hold it together more or less, but the stress of the fight with Edward and panic over Riley's condition left me exhausted. As soon as we landed and the flight crew gave the all-clear, I bolted from the plane. Shoving my way through the crowded airport, I hurried to find the baggage carousel. I drummed my fingers against my hip as I waited for my bags. The moment my bags arrive, I set out at a quick pace for the exit and snagged the first taxi I could.

"MedStar Georgetown," I told the driver and added, "as quickly as you can, please."

Despite the nightmarish snarl of D.C. traffic, we arrived at the hospital fairly quickly. The driver helped me remove my luggage from the trunk and took off after his next fare. I tried not to take anyone out with my luggage as I navigated my way into the hospital and to the information desk. I shoved my sunglasses up on top of my head and did my best to greet the woman there politely.

"Hi, I'm here to see Riley Biers. Last I knew he was in the ICU," I said.

"Could you spell the last name for me, please?" she asked pleasantly.

"Sure. B-i-e-r-s."

"It looks like he's been moved to a regular room."

I let out a sigh of relief, my body sagging against the desk at the news. "That's good, right? That means he's doing better."

She smiled comfortingly at me. "Yes, ma'am. He's in great hands."

"Thank you," I said.

"He's in room 742." She pointed out directions on a map and showed me the way to the elevators.

Knowing that Riley had been moved to a regular room was an enormous relief. If he'd still been in a coma, or had gotten worse, surely he'd still be in the ICU. The blind panic had retreaded only to be replaced with nervous apprehension. I had no idea how he or Amanda would react to seeing me.

I noticed what a bustling place the hospital was as I made my way up to the elevators. My luggage was such a hassle but I had no idea where I could stash it. Hopefully it wouldn't be a problem in Riley's room, although I was unsure of how long I'd be here.

Another wave of apprehension washed over me in the elevator. What was I doing here? Had coming to D.C. been the right choice? I wondered. I had no idea if Riley even wanted me here.

By the time I made it up to the seventh floor, my hands had gone cold and a knot had formed in the pit of my stomach. Pull yourself together, Bella, I reminded myself. Just breathe. I followed the signs to room 742 and paused outside, taking a deep, steadying breath. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I wasn't sure if it was the thought of how badly Riley might be injured, or if it was the thought of seeing him after nearly a year. The door was partway open and I knocked on it softly, calling out his name. "Riley?"

There was no answer, and I peered inside. Through the gap in the door, I could see him sleeping. I gasped at the sight of him. There was a swath of white bandage on his temple, and scrapes and cuts covering parts of his face and one arm. His leg was in a cast and he looked bruised and battered. I silently pushed the door open a little more and wheeled the suitcase inside the room. I let the door close partway again and walked over to him.

I sank into the chair beside the bed, drinking in the sight of him. Just needing to touch him, I gently brushed a finger across his arm and sat back in my chair. I glanced up at the monitors surrounding him and tried to make sense of them. Movement caught my attention and I looked back at him. I froze when I saw Riley's eyes open. He was staring at me, a puzzled frown on his face.

"Bella?" he asked hoarsely.

I leaned forward, reaching for the hand he held out to me and grasping it tightly. "Hey."

Hearing his voice, seeing his eyes, and touching his skin brought back so many memories. It was familiar, comforting. I smiled at him, tears immediately filling my eyes.

He rubbed a hand across his cheek, the blond whiskers rasping against his palm. "God, whatever they're giving me must be good; now I'm hallucinating." His thumb brushed the back of my hand. "It even feels like you're here."

I let out a choked laugh, glad to know he was more or less coherent and able to recognize me. I squeezed his hand and relaxed back against the chair again. "No, I'm here," I said, brushing away a couple of tears I hadn't even realized had fallen. "You're not hallucinating."

He let out a sigh of relief. "God, it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too," I said and sniffled back the rest of my tears.

"I … I'm surprised though," he said, his face twisting. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"Amanda called," I said softly. "I got here as quickly as I could."

He nodded, scrubbing his hand over his face again. "Fuck, I feel like I got hit by a truck."

I shook my head at him. "You were."

"Nah, I think it was an SUV."

I chuckled at his ability to find humor in the worst of situations. That was something that hadn't changed. "Do you remember what happened?" I asked more seriously.

He groaned and shifted on the bed, wincing as he tried to find a more comfortable position. I saw his knuckles whiten and his jaw clench for a moment before he let out a slow breath. He opened his eyes and looked at me for a long moment before nodding. "Yeah, most of it. I was out jogging near my condo, almost done with my run."

"Since when do you run outside?" I asked. "I used to beg you to run outside with me."

He shrugged, wincing again. "I guess that's why I started doing it here. It reminded me of you. I felt closer to you than when I was working out in the gym."

I nodded and smiled as tears filled my eyes again. Apparently, we'd both had our little rituals to try and keep each other close even though we were thousands of miles apart. "Anyway, I was almost home, and I guess I was distracted and didn't look when I went to cross the street. This SUV came barreling around the corner out of nowhere and clipped me. He didn't hit me straight on, thank God, but I guess I went flying. I hit my head on the pavement and my leg broke. I mostly know that because they told me, that part of the night is fuzzy."

"I was told you were unconscious?" I said, though it came out more as a question.

"Yeah, for a few hours, I guess. They put me into ICU to monitor me, but I guess I woke up shortly after that."

I brushed my thumb along his wrist. "Long term effects?"

"Some headaches and dizziness maybe, and obviously I'm going to be in a cast and on crutches for a while." He huffed in frustration. I knew how much he was going to hate being slowed down like that. "I have to start physical therapy as soon as the cast comes off."

"I'm so glad you're alright. It could have been a lot worse," I said softly and he nodded.

"Yeah, it could have," he agreed. "I still can't believe you're here, babe."

"For all I knew, you were dying. How could I not?"

He smiled sadly. "I'm glad you came."

We were both silent for a long moment, until a sharp rap on the door startled us both. He jerked, wincing as he turned to look at the door at the nurse peering her head in. "Mr. Biers, I'm here to take your vitals again."

"'kay," he grunted. She frowned at him as she came in the room.

"What's your pain level like right now? Scale of one to ten."

"Seven."

I frowned. Riley had always been a tough guy, refusing to admit he was in pain, so if he said it was that bad, it was probably actually worse.

"Okay," the nurse said. "As soon as I get your vitals, I'll come in with more pain meds. There's no need for you to tough it out. Your body needs time to rest and heal. It won't be able to do that if you are tense from the pain," she explained.

She took his blood pressure and temperature and jotted them down before smiling at me. "And who is your visitor? I know your sister was here earlier."

I had been wondering where Amanda was, and I reminded myself to ask Riley when the nurse left. I glanced at him, unsure of how to answer her question.

"I'm . . ."

"This is Bella," he said. "She's been a friend of the family most of our lives and one of my best friends."

He glanced at me and I nodded. It was the easiest explanation there was. Any other explanation was convoluted, and not really any-one's business but ours. And it was true, in addition to being my boyfriend; he had been one of my best friends. He had been the future partner in my father's firm, the man I planned to marry and raise a family with, and my friend. He had been my whole life.

I was lost in my thoughts as the nurse left momentarily, and then returned with a syringe. Riley was still hooked up to an IV and she gave him what I assumed was painkillers through that. When she left the second time, she closed the door behind her and I looked at Riley. I could already see his eyes growing dazed and a little heavy. "You'll still be here when I wake up, right, babe?" he asked, reaching out for me again.

I squeezed his hand and whispered, "Yeah . . . I'll be here."

He was asleep almost immediately after that. With the opportunity to look at Riley unobserved, I took a few moments to just look at him. Now that the shock of the sight of his injuries had faded a little, I could see the changes in him.

He'd lost some of the bulk he'd always had and, although still fit, was a bit leaner. His hair was cut in a shorter, neater cut and there were a few lines on his face that hadn't been there before. I had no idea if it was the injuries or the fact that it had been so long since I'd seen him, but he didn't really look like the man who'd left San Francisco the year before.

He didn't look like my Riley.

The thought made my stomach flip, and I fumbled with my purse, wanting to distract myself. I dragged out my phone and charger and searched for a spare outlet in the room. There was one on the wall by the window and I got up and plugged it in.

My breath caught in my throat when the screen saver came up. It was a picture of Edward and me in Napa. We had given my phone to someone to take a picture of us as we strolled through one of the vineyards, and on the drive to the French Laundry, I'd set it to my screen saver.

Unfortunately, with my phone charging, I found myself with nothing to do but think. Images of Edward kept flashing through my mind; the hurt and anger on his face were unforgettable.

Although it stung that he had driven away and left me there, now that we weren't in the heat of the moment, I could understand it. He didn't know what was going on or what my phone call was about. I never would have asked him to drive me to the airport; that would have been unthinkably inconsiderate. Just thinking about what I had done to him made my stomach churn. I got up and went to the en suite bathroom, leaning over the sink and breathing slowly, trying to keep myself from getting sick.

I pushed away thoughts of Edward, needing to compartmentalize what I was dealing with at the moment. I knew it wasn't healthy, but what choice did I have? I had to deal with things here in D.C. and then I could deal with everything in San Francisco when I returned.

I lifted my head and looked in the mirror, horrified by how awful I looked. I stepped out of the bathroom and rummaged through my suitcase for my toiletry kit. My fingers brushed along Edward's shirt and I froze, my fingers rubbing the fabric for a moment before I let go. Once again, I stifled the thoughts swirling through my brain.

I washed my face and took a little time to brush my teeth and apply some makeup, hiding the pale, wan skin and dark circles under my eyes. I was at least semi-presentable now. I zipped up the case and left the bathroom, stopping in my tracks when I came face-to-face with Riley's sister.

"Amanda!" I gasped. She looked different than the last time I'd seen her, too. Her hair was cut shorter and she had a deep tan, which set off her blue eyes.

She blinked at me in shock, looking like she'd seen a ghost. "Bella?" she whispered and immediately wrapped me in a tight hug. "What … what are you doing here?" she said when she released me.

"You left me a message Riley was unconscious; what did you expect me to do?"

She shook her head as if clearing it. "I had no idea. I was panicked, and you're the first person who came to mind. I can't believe you came!"

"You really scared me," I admitted. "I had no idea if Riley would be in a coma or worse when I got here."

She frowned. "Didn't you get my other messages?"

I shook my head. "My phone's been dead. You must have called me back while I was on the flight here."

"God, I never thought you'd come," she said wrapping me in another hug.

"Do you not want me here?" I said, tensing in her arms. After Riley had left, Amanda had berated me for not convincing him to stay in San Francisco and then essentially dropped out of my life, as well.

"No, I'm just surprised." She pulled back and continued, "I started thinking about it and I wondered if you'd even care."

My jaw dropped and I was just about to retort angrily when Riley moaned softly. We both turned to look at him shifting restlessly on the bed and she jerked her head toward the door. I set my toiletry bag on top of my suitcase and followed her into the hall. She closed the door behind him and quietly said, "Come on, there's a private lounge we can talk in down the hall."

I followed her, biting my tongue to keep back the words that wanted to spill out. She navigated through the corridors, and we were soon in a glassed in lounge that was empty and quiet except for a trickling fountain.

I turned to face her and finally let loose the words that had been on the tip of my tongue. "I have never stopped caring, Amanda. Riley and I did what was best for both of us but that doesn't mean I just quit loving him. I've been a wreck since he left."

"If you loved him that much you wouldn't have let him leave," she said.

"If he'd stayed or I had gone with him, we would have resented each other. We would have fought, and it would have slowly poisoned our relationship. The minute Riley landed the job here, we were over, one way or another. Either we made a clean break or it slowly died."

I felt something strange inside when I said those words. The truth of the statement resonated in my bones. It was such simple logic that had I had taken so long to learn As much as I'd pined and longed for him, they were the truth.

Amanda looked at me for a long moment before she sank onto the couch nearby, I followed her more slowly, unsure of how she was going to respond. She buried her head in her hands for a moment before lifting her eyes to mine. "I'm sorry," she said, "you're right. Of course, you're right. It was just easier to blame you than to blame my brother. He not only left you but he left me."

I wiped away a tear that was trickling down my cheek. "I'm sorry, Amanda. We both lost Riley when he came here. I've missed you."

A look of remorse crossed her face as I continued. "You know me; I don't really open up that easily to people. My mother is, well . . . you know exactly what Renee is like. I had Charlie, and Vanessa. That's it."

"I never thought of it that way," Amanda said, wiping away her own tears. "God, I was so selfish. I missed you so much, but after a while I thought maybe you didn't want to talk to me again, that you had just moved on from Riley and forgotten about me."

"Moved on?" I laughed hollowly. "I was barely making it out of bed some days. It's been almost a year and I'm not over him leaving. Every time I try to move forward, I find myself stuck back in the same old ruts. I know I need to let go. I just . . . can't."

"I was so sure I knew what my life was going to be like," I continued softly. "I had it all laid out. The partnership, the marriage, our life. . . . When Riley left, it was like he pulled the foundation out from under me. It all came crumbling down and I can't find the right pieces to put it together again. I try to rebuild but there's pieces missing."

"I should have been there for you," Amanda said.

I reached for her hand and squeezed. "I've missed my best friend."

"I've missed you, too. Can you forgive me?" Amanda asked softly, bringing me back from my thoughts.

I nodded. "Of course. I know you were hurting, too. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

She leaned forward and hugged me. I hugged her back; taking comfort from the girl I'd known most of my life. "Do you think we can be friends again?" she asked me when she drew back.

"I'd like to try," I said honestly, surprised by how good it felt to have things resolved with Amanda. Whatever else came of me flying here, it was a relief to know that I'd at least mended fences with her.

"Let's go back to Riley's room," she said and I nodded.

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

"At the moment, I'm not sure where Mom and Dad are. They were on a cruise ship somewhere up near Alaska when the accident happened. It took a while to get a message to them. They can't get to D.C. for at least a few more days. Mom has to be going crazy," Amanda said.

I nodded, imaging how frantic their mother would be. "I'm sure she's worried sick."

"I managed to get ahold of them and let them know Riley had woken up, so that helps. I was so terrified when I heard he was unconscious."

"Me, too. He's really going to be okay though?"

Amanda nodded. "The doctors said he'll be fine. He may have issues with headaches and dizziness for a while because of the concussion. And the break in his leg was pretty bad, so that will take a while to heal. But other than the scars from them putting pins in his leg, he shouldn't have any permanent damage."

I sighed with relief. "Good."

Amanda paused outside Riley's room. "How long do you plan to stay?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I bought a one-way ticket here without much thought after that. I just had to get here and be sure he was all right."

She gently squeezed my upper arm. "I'm glad you came. I'm kind of worried about what's going to happen tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to fly out tomorrow morning. I have a meeting I can't miss in the afternoon. Mom and Dad won't be here for at least a few more days and Riley should be getting discharged tomorrow morning. Once he's home, it's going to be difficult for him to navigate until he gets used to the crutches."

I gave her an apprehensive look. "There isn't . . . anyone who can help?"

Amanda gave me a long look, knowing what I was asking. "He isn't seeing anyone that I know of, Bella."

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no, I brought it up," she protested. "He hasn't seen anyone since you."

She turned pleading eyes on me and I finally realized where this was going. "You want me to stay." I took a deep breath. "I could stay for a few days until he gets settled." I cleared my throat and added, "If he was okay with that, I mean."

"Can you?" she asked hopefully.

"I just need to speak with Charlie and call the firm. I already took last Friday off. I have plenty of vacation time and a case just wrapped up, but still, I hate to leave him in the lurch, especially when I just made partner." I winced at the thought.

Amanda's face lit up. "Oh, Bella, congratulations! Riley will be so proud of you. If somehow you can make staying work, I would be so grateful."

"If Riley wants me here, I'll do anything I can to help," I said.

"Trust me, he does," Amanda reassured me.

~LTOYL~

Amanda and I went back into Riley's room and found him still sleeping. The nurse was making notes on his chart and excused herself just after we came in. Amanda took a seat next to the bed and reached for Riley's hand. "He misses you, you know. He always tells me he's doing fine but I can tell. He's just not the same as he was."

"I miss him, too. We've kept in touch a little, but honestly, it just made things harder."

She looked at me and nodded.

I could feel my emotions building again so I excused myself. "I'm going to go call Charlie and check in; excuse me."

I grabbed my phone from the charger and powered it up as I walked out of the room and toward the family lounge. Once again, my phone lit up with alerts but rather than check any of them, I dialed my dad. He answered almost immediately.

"Bella, how's Riley doing?"

"He's okay," I said, exhaling heavily. "He's banged up, has a broken leg, and is recovering from a concussion, but he's going to be fine."

"Thank God," Charlie said. "We were worried. I called you half a dozen times."

"I'm sorry." I exhaled a breath. My phone was dead. I was letting it charge."

"No, that's fine. I just wanted to be sure he'd be all right and find out how you were doing. "

"That's why I called," I said. I explained the situation with Amanda leaving before their parents could get there and Charlie was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

"Bella, take all the time you need. I've got the office covered; things will be fine until you get back. Does Edward know what's going on?"

"Things with Edward are—" I swallowed hard against the press of tears in the back of my throat. He had driven off after telling me we were over. I had no idea what would happen when I got back. "—complicated. I can't go into it right now, Dad."

He sighed. "I had a feeling things between Edward and you would be considering where you were and where you are now."

"You have no idea." I laughed shakily thinking of how just a few hours ago, I was in Napa and Edward was confessing his love for me. "I suppose this isn't very professional of me to run off like this right after making partner."

My father chuckled softly. "Well, no, but emergencies do come up, your caseload is light right now, and after all, you are the boss's daughter. I'm happy to keep an eye on things."

I smiled at Charlie's attempt to make light of the situation. He knew I'd never use that as an excuse to get time off. "Thanks, Dad."

"Say hi to Riley and Amanda for me," he said.

"I will," I promised. "Thank you."

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you, too."

I hung up the phone and dropped it into my lap, struggling for a moment to pull myself back together. I was exhausted and about ready to crash. I covered my face with my trembling hands, unable to fight back the tears any longer. Thankful that the room was empty, I cried for a while, letting out some of the pent up emotions.

I had no idea if staying for a few more days was the right decision to make or not, but I knew that I couldn't leave yet.

We know some of you were hoping that Bella would find another woman by Riley's bedside and fly right home to Edward. Hang in there and keep trusting us, because what we have planned is actually going to be much, much better for the long term health of E&Bs relationship. They WILL get there. Bella just has to finally come to grips with her past.

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