Watch
From Rainer Maria Rilke's Evening, trans. Stephen Mitchell
you watch: and the lands grow distant in your sight,
one journeying to heaven, one that falls;
and … you, not at home in either one…
"There's no one else I'd let take her." Anderson lifted his left hand into a slow salute. "We're counting on you, Shepard."
"It doesn't feel right, Anderson." Shepard returned the salute. "She's your ship."
"Not anymore," smiling, Udina insinuated himself between the two Alliance heroes, put an arm around Shepard's shoulders and turned her so that they all faced the cameras. "I suggest you get on with it."
"If you want to keep that arm," Shepard focused on the displays over the elevator entrance to the docking bay, which showed the galactic standard times of various capital cities, to keep from being dazzled by the bright flashes, "get it off me."
"Nonsense, Earth loves its new Spectre." Udina waved to the crowd with his free hand. "We're all one big, happy…."
Whatever Anderson did to shut Udina up and to lower his arm Shepard did not see, but she did, at last, give a crooked grin.
"I think that's enough press time for today, Ambassador. Will you get rid of them or shall I?" Anderson received a dirty look from Udina, but Earth's representative on the Citadel walked toward the reporters.
Yes, it was official; she was going to miss Anderson. She turned back to face him.
"So do you know what you're going to do? Do you have a plan of attack?" Anderson's tone made it clear he asked out of curiosity, not command.
"I've got some leads." Shepard hoped he would understand her reticence. "Did we determine the source of the information on Feros?"
"No, but we confirmed that communications are down." Anderson nodded.
Shepard frowned. "Will the Alliance be investigating?"
"It's a small, private colony, entirely corporate run." Anderson shook his head. "You know how it is. The Alliance can't establish that precedence. They won't go unless they're certain there's an attack. The colony would have to activate its emergency signal."
"Which it can't do if its communications are down. Anderson, we barely managed to save anyone on Eden Prime, and we were there within hours of the start of that attack." Shepard took a deep breath. "Feros also has Prothean ruins."
Anderson squeezed her arm. "So do dozens of other planets. You've got to remember you can't save everyone, now more than ever. You need to focus on the big picture, find ways to leverage your activities. You're one soldier with a small team, one ship. You can't put out every fire. You've got to think like an N7—precision strikes, maximum impact, minimum cost."
"I know." Shepard stared up at him. "That's another thing, Anderson. I don't understand why they didn't make you a Spectre, too, give me another ship and send us both out there to find Saren. You're the first N7, heck they created the program for you. You have more experience and an even better record than mine. The ruling on Eden Prime should have vindicated you in your history with Saren, and the two of us could cover more ground than I can alone."
"Listen, that's politics, and my battle to fight. You have another one, and that's where you need to focus." Anderson released her arm. "If you want to check on Feros, you can. That place was picked clean years ago, and I doubt it has anything of strategic value to draw Saren there. You won't want to hear this, but if the colony is under attack, it's probably by pirates, and if they didn't provide sufficient security forces, it's already too late for them. There's nothing you can do, and a failure at the start won't reflect well on your new status. You're going to need better leads if you expect to find Saren, and you're going to have to chalk up victories. You'll be facing more media attention than ever before."
"I understand." Shepard nodded at him. "I'll get it done, Anderson."
He nodded back. "Happy hunting."
She did not look back as she stepped onto the boarding ramp. When the doors of the decontamination chamber had closed behind her, she allowed herself to run her hands up over her face. Save a colony or save a child, did the choices ever get easier?
The colony had a population of 300. Exo-Geni had vast resources but had kept the settlement small. Maybe they had found something, another beacon, and Saren had heard. Could she leave a child, an innocent, to be tortured and killed for that, balance 300 lives against 1? If the Consort was to be believed, rescuing the child had greater tactical advantage. A success there could potentially turn Saren's closest ally, and make him come to her on the field of her choosing. But what if there was no child, and it was a trap? She might find Benezia there, true. Only she could visit Feros several times over in the amount of time it might take to locate the child, Benezia, or the trap. And she might just find a world full of hurt and come out empty-handed, with casualties, after leaving 300 colonists to their fate.
It seemed her head would never stop hurting. As the scan started, she dropped her hands and took a deep breath.
Show time.
"Don't be such a coward, Agi. Your mitera is Cedonia council's Archon. She'll say yes." Evodokia gave her compatriot a pointed look over the brush she was using to clear the dirt from the artifact in grid 12. "When's the last time anyone told you no?"
"Professor T'Soni isn't just anyone." Agaue glanced around to where the faculty member in question stood at the virtual workstation, gloved hands making small gestures that the simulator interpreted to rotate the graphed fragments already uncovered. She found it so encouraging that someone just a few years older than she was had accomplished so much. Given her parentage though, how could she do anything else? Agi shook her head. "I heard she hasn't taken an aphrodisia since coming to Serrice."
Dokia shrugged. "She can't choose just anyone, it has to be someone her mitera would approve of." Dokia blew to clear the loosened dirt away. Sometimes that worked more effectively than the soft bristled brush.
"I've taken every class she's taught over the last four years." Agaue concentrated again on the artifact, using the small hook at the end of the metal stylus to scrape away at the hard packed dirt just outside the object's contours. Agaue found herself wishing again that Professor T'Soni taught more than two classes a year. Most of the other junior faculty did, and she could listen to the Professor's voice all day. "She's never shown any interest beyond the academic."
"Did you expect her to ask you to stay after class and then ask you out?" Dokia leaned back on her heels and considered the Professor thoughtfully. "She'd have to find some less direct way."
Agi followed her glance. Professor T'Soni was adjusting some control on the simulator's HUD, the glow from the display highlighting her face from below. "Well, she did say my paper on the possible significance of moisture condensation technology on Prothean colonization patterns was excellent." Agi put the scraper down for a moment to flex and stretch her hand, which had started to cramp, "She even recommended that I submit it for publication."
"That's promising." Dokia smiled, and wiped sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. They were only 3 levels down, but with the floodlights, the poor ventilation, and the planet's naturally high temperature and aridity, the heat already felt intense.
"You think so? I wondered if I should ask her to help me prepare it." Agi shifted so that her elbows supported her as she bent over the grid. Her back ached already.
"Why didn't you?" Dokia leaned down and resumed brushing.
Agi sighed. "Her classes are always full, with a waiting list."
"Everyone's curious, maybe, and hoping her mitera will give a guest lecture, and that they'll get to meet her." Dokia shook her head. "Really, though, Professor T'Soni intimidates most people, including me. Maybe she'll be more approachable here."
"I hope so." Leaning back, Agi surveyed the area. Three large tents had been set up in a row to the left of the level's large excavation area. The surface had been charted, divided evenly into grids and logged with a laser mapper. The university's old echo equipment had been painstaking dragged over ever inch, and the areas with darker masses or recognizable shapes had been identified and those grids marked off with little orange tags on the corners and assigned.
Most students who'd never been on digs before had been assigned to the surface camp, but she'd used her connections to get her and Dokia assigned to this level, where all the good equipment was. Earlier that week, it had been their turn to use one of the level's two plotters. They'd anchored it over their square, set up a 20x20 laser grid and watched its red beams burn down to within a few centimeters of the shape the echoer had detected. After handing over the plotter to the next pair, they had begun the slow work of uncovering the rest by hand. Agi didn't know if she wanted the artifact to be unique or just to get it out so that she could take it to the lab, and work beside the Professor in the tent. She was already planning possible topics of conversation.
"There you are!" One of the other student workers, covered in a fine layer of grime with only her eyes clear of it, stopped beside their grid and looked down at them, "Reah's saving us a table. She sent me down to find you."
"Hey, Pod." Dokia leant back to look up. "You're a mess! Is it that bad topside?"
"Yeah, they have me sifting. You owe me big, Agi." The white of Podarge's teeth was the only other gleaming surface in her face as she smiled. "Did you talk to her yet?"
"No, she's stayed right here since sunrise." Dokia sent a sideways glance at Agi.
Agi frowned at her.
"You better hurry, Agi. It's almost Janiris, and I'm sure you're not the only one who'll ask her." Pod crouched down to rest. She breathed heavily. "Whew, I thought it would be better out of the sun, but it's stifling down here."
"It takes finesse," Agi began, feeling sweat trickle down her front.
"The excavation or talking to Professor T'Soni?" Pod grinned.
"I can't just go over there and strike up a conversation. I need to be working on something beside her, and then it will be more natural." Agi wanted them to know that she had a plan.
"Beside her or inside her?" Pod teased. "You can totally talk to her any time about anything. I'll show you." Pod rose and headed over to the simulator.
"Pod! POD!" Agi hissed, but her friend ignored her. Pod walked right up to Professor T'Soni and Agi watched the Professor turn. After a minute, Pod pointed in their direction, and Agi blinked as the Professor looked their way. Pod grinned and waved. Dokia smiled and looked at Agi. Before Agi could wave back, Professor Stanos interrupted Pod and spoke to Professor T'Soni. She said a few words back, set the fragment down in a tray near the simulator, and then walked with Pod toward them. "I'm going to kill Pod. Really, I'm going to kill her." Agi whispered to Dokia without moving her lips.
"Not if Professor T'Soni says yes." Dokia made a show of being very, very busy brushing a place where the artifact apparently had lots of dirt still clinging to it.
"They don't seem to be getting anywhere, and I don't know if it's their technique or what…." Pod could be heard explaining.
Agi looked up and saw the Professor standing right by their square looking at their work, and then at them, at her. Agi could have sworn some kind of recognition passed between them before the Professor looked away.
"Excavation is a slow, steady process, Mathitis Podarge. It's important to be patient. If the work is done too quickly, important evidence could be lost." Agi loved Professor T'Soni's quiet lack of arrogance. Lady Benezia had a reputation for that, too, and Agi could see the appeal.
"Like what?" Podarge squatted down and stared at their square. "I see a smooshed light fixture thingee that will still look like a smooshed light fixture thingee when they've removed it."
Professor T'Soni knelt down. "Yes, but now, layer by layer, Mathitis Agaue and Mathitis …?" Agi smiled. She had recognized her!
"Evodokia," Dokia croaked.
"… Evodokia, will look for clues about how this artifact came to be crushed. It's too soon to say with any certainty what it is. Its interpretation depends on its context, and that is what we look to each of you to record." The Professor indicated the area around the artifact with a gloved finger.
"Time crushed it and stone. End of story. Now they can come lunch with their friends." Pod insisted on being provocative. Agi fought the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced up at the Professor again, to see that she was staring at their square.
"Look again." If only those blue eyes would stare even half as long, half as intently at her.
Pod frowned, but stared at the square some more, at the emerging shape, as instructed. "I don't see anything but the artifact," she finally admitted.
"Sometimes what you don't see is as important as what you do." When the Professor's voice got that soft, Agi loved it even more. "There are no large stones or fragments of stone within the grid. If it had been crushed by stone, where did the stone go? If it had been crushed by time, why is one section more crushed than the others?"
"Structural weaknesses? Unequal stressors?" Pod glanced over at the Professor. "Or the stones bounced into another grid."
"You're talking about your latest extinction theory of the Protheans." Agi felt a bit breathless. The Professor's last paper had come out the previous cycle, and it hadn't been very well received. "But lack of evidence is not proof of anything."
Now the Professor did regard her as intently as she had the square. "True, yet this great civilization that spanned and ruled the galaxy in much the way that the asari do now seemingly vanished, leaving few traces of it behind. There must be some explanation."
"You think they were wiped out by some greater force? There was no greater force!" Pod's eyes were bright. "Wait, you think this artifact may show signs of battle?! Fovero!"
"Warfare is only one of the possibilities." The Professor looked somber.
"Disease." Agi didn't want to be left out of the conversation.
"Catastrophic climate change." Dokia was not to be edged out either.
"On all the planets and systems?" Pod was getting in to it too. "Come on!"
"We can only guess until we find proof," the Professor looked at Agi. "But our theories have to explain what we don't find, as well as what we do. Such a vast civilization and so few remains, it's like something tried to remove all traces of it."
"If the disease was very contagious, the Protheans might have destroyed their cities there in an attempt to save their species. Feros, for instance, with its extensive ruins, might have been bombed in an attempt to eradicate a particularly virulent strain." Agi wanted the Professor to acknowledge that her theory could also account for the variables.
"That theory does have merits." The Professor nodded, looking thoughtfully at Agi.
"If a great civilization knew it was dying of a disease, wouldn't it have wanted to let others know what had been tried, especially if they hadn't found a cure?" Pod ruined the moment.
Agi shifted to a kneeling position. "If a civilization conquered the Protheans, wouldn't there be some evidence of that civilization?"
"These are good questions." The Professor stood. "Careful work here, and maybe we'll find out."
"We're the ones who succeeded the Protheans. I think we're the civilization that wiped them out." Pod never knew when to shut up.
"Our ancestors were peace loving." The Professor shook her head. "Much like we are."
"Ardat yakshi could wipe out a civilization and be smart enough not to leave a record of their crimes." Pod grinned, pleased with herself.
Dokia shook her head. Agi scowled.
"You can't say we haven't evolved, become more in control of our abilities, less barbarous." Pod continued. It was like watching skycars collide in slow motion. "Less prone to inbreeding."
"It's time for lunch!" Agi stood quickly, brushing dirt off her leggings. "Come on, Pod. Show us where this table is."
The Professor ducked her head in farewell and walked back toward the simulator.
Agi glared at Pod.
"What?" Pod lifted her hands in surrender. "I thought you were going to ask her to lunch."
"She could have if you'd kept your mouth shut, malakas!" Dokia threw a clod of dirt at her friend.
Agi sighed and reached up a hand for Pod to help her out of the square.
"Dismissed."
Karin remained in her seat as others got up and left. The Commander had made the meeting her own, restructuring it into a roundtable and encouraging more feedback than Anderson had ever done. It had allowed her to flex Alliance regulations to include non-Alliance officers in what had been the privilege of senior staff only. If she'd been the XO longer, she might have rethought that last bit. Fortunately, the Commander seemed to have the regard of even the career die-hards, and the capability to inspire most to model her own more inclusive approach. That wouldn't work on all of them, though.
Maybe that was why they were embarking on an exploration of human-controlled systems before more directly pursuing Saren. Despite her big speech, the Commander knew the crew hadn't come together yet. They had to. This first flight of the first human Spectre could not stay in familiar territory for long.
Idly, she watched Greg's departure. Firm contours and the grace of a footballer. When Wrex pushed through the door ahead of him, knocking him to one side, he took it in stride. Steady and sure even in the midst of rapid change, he calmed things down, and his sharp intellect naturally looked for opportunities instead of problems. She'd have to watch herself around that one.
Her thoughts returned to her purpose, and Karin ran her finger around the edge of her datapad. It was never pleasant telling someone bad news, and worse when they were young. She watched as the Commander received a handful of reports from Charles. He'd been agitating senior staff about restricting alien access to certain parts of the ship since becoming XO. Judging from Shepard's expression, he was at it again. When he turned to leave, his expression was sour. He glanced from her to Shepard and exited.
Karin looked back to find the Commander's steady gaze on her. She noted her pallor and the hint of dark shadows under her eyes. The woman rose, tossed the datapads Charles had given her onto her chair, and leant back against the rail that protected the communicator's imagers. "Doctor Chakwas," the woman's grin was completely disarming, "have you come to tell me about the hidden health risks of mixed species forces?"
"I wouldn't waste your time with xenophobic nonsense." Karin stood. "The galaxy is far more complex than many aboard this ship have had the chance to realize yet, but fear has never advanced anything, especially not a civilization. I'm afraid you've been charged with heavy burdens on several fronts, and I'm in the unenviable position of adding another."
A raised brow, and the Commander nodded. "Let's hear it."
"My Lady?" The question echoed mockingly.
Benezia opened her eyes and tried to focus. The light split several ways.
"… with us?" Reverberations distorted sound. Several voices blended in the subharmonics.
Slowly she could see particles of light raining down stone walls, plasticrete. She reached out. It was as real as the sharp tearing in her throat, and solid, straight—not the ship! Chara, Eidiothea, their familiar, beloved faces swam into view. Shiala? What had they done with Shiala? The tearing turned into burning. Her vision hazed. It hurt too much to turn her head.
"Help her up." Gentle hands grasped her arms, her back and lifted her until she was sitting. Gravity pulled on the stitches in her neck as her position changed.
She let the pain bring her fully into the moment. Bodies lay scattered around her. Humans! Their blood had spattered everywhere. Their faces, when visible, frozen in expressions of fear. What madness was this?! Had they returned to Eden Prime?
"You see, I've kept my promise." Saren, a blur at her right side, dug his talons into her arm. "It's time for you to keep yours."
His words hardly registered as she realized there were no geth in the room, only asari, and no ship to protect it this time. Hope revived in her. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she slammed him against the wall with a satisfying crunch. Her vision blurred, fractured into three, three Sarens slowly got to their feet. No, now, while she still had the chance. There could be no … mercy. Everything seemed so heavy. For all their sakes, for Luludenia's, she must …. There was …. She trembled with the effort as she lifted and threw him against the far wall before her biotics fizzled.
He got up again. The buzzing in her head grew. Her biotics would not work. She could hear his footsteps, see the blur of him approaching.
"My Lady," Chara interposed herself between Benezia's outstretched arm and the thing coming towards them.
"Run," she whispered, the sound agonizing to make. "Hide. Hurry!"
"What's wrong?" Chara, sweetest of all her douli, had tears in her eyes. "Why do you attack our friend? He saved you."
Eidothea, stalwart and strong, gazed at her in concern as she touched her trembling arm. "Why do you hurt our protector and guide?"
Benezia began to understand. There would be no escape. For any of them.
"What do you see?"
Liara blinked and turned. She had thought she was alone. Mathitis Agaue stood a respectful distance away. Liara ducked her head in acknowledgment and looked back at the stars. "A thousand questions."
In a few steps, Agaue stood beside her. "There have to be some answers, too."
"Very true." Liara nodded.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Agaue smiled at her.
Liara shook her head. "No, but I plan to walk." This was the time of day when she liked to get her exercise. With the sun down, temperatures dipped slightly, and almost everyone else lined up outside the water trailer to wait for showers or went to the rec tent at this hour.
"That's okay with me." Her student handled the rugged terrain with ease, using her biotics to illuminate her way as they left the lit area.
Really, she was the best student Liara had ever had. She was glad Agaue had come on this dig. If she kept up the kind of work she'd been doing, she'd join the faculty in due course. The field work was essential, and the more she could get, the better. When Liara noticed Agaue flagging a little, Liara slowed.
"I thought it'd be cooler up here." Agaue sounded sheepish, as she stopped and panted. "It's really not."
"No." Liara agreed with a half smile, stopping as well. Down among the outcroppings on the plain below a few lights twinkled at the entrances to mines.
"Is this the hottest planet you've excavated on?" Agaue began to walk again.
"One of them." Liara let her set the pace.
"Are there sites on cooler planets, too? I mean, there must be." Agaue seemed particularly careful not to trip. Very wise.
"Yes." Liara nodded. "Why do you … oh, wide temperature variances could affect your water systems theory." Intriguing. "It would be worth plotting the variance range. I don't believe anyone's asked that question yet, and there are 21 scatter sites as well as the 7 larger known ruins, not to mention all the isolated findings across the systems. This might lead us to more—if it provides an idea of which planets would have supported their settlements!"
Agaue stumbled. "Does the Citadel count as one of the larger ruins? It could skew everything. Its temperature range is entirely artificial."
"The Citadel is neither a ruin nor Prothean, although that's a common misconception." Liara glanced at Agaue and was concerned at how purple Agaue's face was turning. She shouldn't walk so fast if the heat was so hard on her. "Some sites popularly attributed to the Protheans are, in fact, remnants of even earlier civilizations. Technologies, like the mass relays," she pointed up, "and structures, like the Citadel, actually predate them by several hundred millennia." Her hands circled each other to indicate the wheel of time. "The hidden city on Ilos, for instance, was finally identified as Inusannonian just a decade ago." She almost ran into Agaue when the other stopped. Why was she staring at her like that? "The report was published in the Journal of the Arcane several years ago. It's peer reviewed."
"You amaze me. You know so much about the Protheans, Professor T'Soni. You're only a few years older than I am…"
Liara blinked. "With continued diligence, I'm sure you could achieve a similar grounding in established …"
"I feel I could learn so much from you…." Agaue turned toward her. "I always learn so much."
This kind of talk made Liara feel uncomfortable. Agaue would need to study with many different, and much more senior scholars to advance. "Given your interest in Prothean technology, you may want to consider Professor Stanos as an advisor. While her interests are more broadly focused on the science of the Protheans, I'm sure she'd be willing to support your exploration of agricultural devices."
"Thank you, but that's not …. I want to ask you something different. As you know, tomorrow, we'll take the transports back for Janiris break … and I was wondering what your plans were."
It perplexed Liara why Agaue kept shifting from one foot to another like that. "I'll be here. Someone has to watch over the equipment, to make sure the miners don't remove it, or scavengers." She couldn't wait, actually, for everyone to be gone because then she could explore the tower, the jewel of the site, all by herself.
"That's so unfair!" Agaue looked upset. "Can't you get out of it? Surely they don't expect you to miss Janiris on Thessia!"
"I volunteered." She'd had to petition, actually, since Professor Stanos, the excavation lead, had been against it, wanting to …. She frowned. What had looked like a comet over Agaue's shoulder came again, a bright flash, but closer. Maybe a meteor shower? "Excuse me, Agaue." She took a step around her student, who turned to look at what she was looking at. It came again, closer again this time, just over the horizon.
"What is that?"
Ash's eyes watered from the strain of staring so closely at the weapon she was modding. Once again, she'd fucked it up, and would have to start over. Would have to, that is, if she hadn't stripped the fucking threading on it by now. Why wouldn't the fucking thing fucking go on fucking straight?! She would bounce that Volus like a basketball if he'd sold her the wrong part! Wiping her eyes on the inside of her elbow, Ash clenched her jaw and tried again to get the threads to line up.
"That'll keep, you know."
Ash spun, leveling the gun.
"You gonna shoot me, Williams?" Shepard took a sip of coffee from the steaming cup she held.
Quickly, Williams lowered the gun. "What the fuck, Shepard?! You don't sneak up on an armed soldier!" Dammit, she had to stop thinking of and treating her commanding officer with such familiarity, even if the woman made little fuss about her rank. That was rank's privilege, not hers. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Ash shook her head. "I'm just not having a great time right now, Commander."
"I can see that." The Commander walked to the table, put her cup down on the workbench, and carefully removed the assault rifle and then the barrel extension from Ash's hands. "Take a break, Williams. It's 0 dark thirty. Everyone not on watch is in their rack, and even those who aren't still need to rest."
"Yeah." Ash shut her eyes. She hated the Commander seeing her like this. She didn't want to be the weak link. It'd be the Williams curse all over again. Ash opened her eyes and shook her head. "I've a lot on my mind, but I'm fine. I'm taking care of it. I'll be ready when you need me. Believe me, I won't do anything to screw up this opportunity."
"You're a great soldier. I've no concerns about that." The Commander calmly took another sip of her coffee, but made no move to leave.
Dammit, what did she want? Ash turned from the workbench and leant back against it, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Fifty credits for your thoughts, and permission to speak freely."
Fuck. Ash pinched the bridge of her nose. "They're not worth that much. I can't sleep because of Eden Prime. We lost a lot of good people there. I lost a lot of friends." She clenched her jaw and recrossed her arms in front of her. That was all she was going to say. Anything else would sound like whining to the fucking hero of fucking Elysium. "I'm taking the meds, and I've talked with someone about it. It's handled."
When she at last looked back at the Commander, the woman was staring into her coffee cup, which she had cradled now in both hands. "'Twilight and evening bell, and after that the dark.'" The Commander looked at her, and Ash realized the woman looked tired. "They can train us to handle almost every situation, but they can't prepare us to live with that, or the emptiness it leaves to have them gone."
Ash didn't know where to go with that, or with the first human Spectre talking to her like they were friends. "I could swear you quoted Tennyson." Ash frowned at her in disbelief. "Did you just quote Tennyson?"
The Commander shrugged and gave a crooked smile that didn't reach her eyes. "My Mom taught English literature. I know many poems by heart."
"Really?! My Dad loved Tennyson. He'd get all of us to read those poems to him." Ash caught herself and her mouth snapped shut again.
"Lucky guy." The Commander smiled, and this time it did warm her eyes.
"Yeah, well actually, he's dead now. He died." Ash felt the anger she'd been fighting whirling in her again.
The Commander raised her eyebrows, but otherwise didn't seem put off. "All of you?"
"My mom, my three sisters and me." Ash felt a surge of pride.
"Wow, three sisters. I can't imagine what that's like." The Commander looked impressed. "You were the oldest." It wasn't really a question.
"Helped raise them while Dad was deployed." Ash relaxed a little, thinking about Sarah, Abby and Lynn. "It was hard on Mom, you know, trying to take care of us all, Dad being in the military, and not knowing if he was coming back."
The Commander nodded.
"What about you? Any sisters?" Suddenly Ash recalled her recon on the Commander. "Oh shit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…. It's late. I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay. I had two brothers, and was the oldest too. Only …" The Commander looked back down into her coffee cup, "Look, Williams, I need your expertise on this upcoming mission." The Commander regarded her with an unreadable look. "It's a bit unusual."
"Anything, Ma'am." Ash pushed off from the workbench to stand at ease, hands behind her back. Please let this woman give her a chance to atone for that stupid comment.
"Wait until you hear my request. It's about the child we're going to rescue." The Commander frowned. "Don't tell anyone, but I'm terrible with children."
The Commander looked so sheepish, Ash couldn't help laughing. "And asari, you're terrible with asari."
"Why do you say that?" The Commander fixed her with a confused look. "I did fine with the Consort."
Ash grinned. "And great with that dancer in Chora's Den."
"Shit." The Commander covered her face with her free hand, and her shoulders slumped. "I was hoping no one had noticed that."
"Fat chance." Ash teased, giving in to the easiness of talking to the woman in front of her. "Shepard."
Shepard lowered her hand. "So could you, when we rescue the kid, would you mind, that is, keeping me from squishing her by accident or her sneezing on me, or being underfoot, or getting hold of a gun, or breaking anything, or whatever it is kids do these days? It's not an order. You can say no, no questions asked. It's just, someone has to figure out what an asari child needs to eat, and where one could sleep on the Normandy and a whole host of details. Who better than you, since you helped raise your sisters? Consider it. If you agree to take this duty on, I'll owe you one."
"Was this all a set up, so you could ask me that?" Ash shook her head, leaning back against the workbench and crossing her arms. "I can't believe you're asking me to babysit."
With a few steps, Shepard came and leant back against the workbench as well. "No, I wanted to check on you because Chakwas had told me you didn't seem to be sleeping much. I know what that's like, and want to offer my support. This other thing just occurred to me. What do you think? It may create an intergalactic incident if it's left to me, but I could always ask Pressly, Kaidan, or Chakwas. Even Tali. She seems very sweet."
"You can't set a guy as a guardian for a little girl! She might not feel comfortable asking him about the things she needs, like the bathroom." Ash made up her mind.
"I'm sure any of the guys would be fine. I bet kids love Kaidan." Shepard sipped. "But maybe you're right, I should ask Tali instead."
"No," Ash turned, and faced Shepard. "I'll do it, but I want the right of refusal or request on any of the following 3 missions, and you have to take me on the rescue."
Shepard raised her eyebrows, but only hesitated a moment before she agreed. "Done! Thanks, Williams. I won't forget your willingness to go above and beyond on this one."
"Oh, I know, Shepard, I know." Ash smiled. "I won't let you."
A fly walked across the drying surface of an open eye and flew off. Rana watched idly. Down the hallway, she could hear screams and the grinding of automatic gunfire. The geth had poured out of the docked capital ship without end into the headquarters building. Soon there would be no more ExoGeni scientists on Feros. She had not realized his savagery would become worse away from the Matriarch.
Chips of stone littered the floor. She studied them in the red pool of blood as if she was looking at the star chart that could show her the way home.
"I knew we could reach an … understanding."
His voice seemed to echo in her mind.
Why hadn't she fought him? Why hadn't she done anything? Now he knew about Species 37! As she watched him disappear back into the corridor, and three geth close in, she could only hope that he would go to see it, and that it would annihilate him.