Cristina paced nervously at Xavier's bedside, wringing her hands. Waiting was never easy for her. Especially whenever she was waiting to find out if the division had given them the go ahead to take Xavier home. Twenty one days moved too slowly for her taste.
She glanced over at Burke rocking him gently in the rocker and a faint smile played across her lips. It was a bitter sweet moment. It looked so natural for him to have a baby in his arms, yet it could be the last time that he'd be able to hold Xavier.
It could be the last time that they'd be able to delude themselves that they were going to be parents. Their future rested on the hands of disgruntled and overworked social workers and that very thought did nothing to ease her mind.
"Are you sure you don't want to hold him, Cristina?" Burke's voice cut through her thoughts and she glanced over at him.
"No. He's happy where he's at." She glanced up at the clock, "She said she'd be up here at nine."
"And it's nine-fifteen. She's probably wound up with a different case. She'll be here." He rocked Xavier gently as he studied her. He'd never seen her so tense before. He couldn't help but smile to know that she was as nervous as he was.
Cristina leveled her gaze at Burke, "Why are you smiling?"
"Because you're nervous." He replied evenly.
"I'm not nervous. I just don't like when people aren't on time." She sighed, brushing a stray curl from her face.
Burke rose softly from the rocker and crossed to Cristina, "Hold him." He uttered softly, placing Xavier into her arms.
She pressed her lips together as she took Xavier into her arms. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of the baby lotion on his skin and she brushed her lips over the top of his head. Instantly, she felt herself waiting for time to slow. She wasn't ready to hear the answer yet.
She wasn't ready for Andrea to tell her that Xavier would not be theirs.
Burke wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "We'll be able to take him home in a couple days. His labs are improving and his scans are pure."
"You don't know that."
"I checked them both myself."
"No. You don't know that we'll be able to take him home. That woman tore our house apart." She sighed, unconsciously pulling Xavier closer to her body.
He pulled her closer, "We will take him home." He repeated calmly.
Cristina leaned against him, trying to focus her thoughts. Despite everything they'd been through she had managed to give Burke the family he wanted. She had managed to work through an application process and an interview and the homestudy from hell without offending too many people.
And it all paled in comparison to the pain of waiting and not knowing.
Minutes slowly ticked by as they waited for their answer and she finally pushed Xavier back into Burke's arms. "I'm going to find her." She muttered as she walked away from him before he could protest.
The walk to Andrea's office felt more like a death march. The closer she grew to the door, the faster her heart began to beat. Her chest grew tight and she felt a hard lump form in the back of her throat. She wasn't ready to know.
Her feet felt like lead as she made the final few steps to Andrea's office and she rose her hand to knock on the door softly.
"Come in." A disgruntled voice floated from behind the door.
With a soft sigh, Cristina pushed the door open. "So, nine was about forty-five minutes ago. Just in case you forgot how to tell time."
"Yang. I wondered when you'd finally be impatient enough to stalk me down. I'm surprised that my pager hasn't been going off incessantly. Sit down." She smirked, motioning to the chair. She shuffled through some papers on her desk, muttering to herself.
Cristina stood at the doorway, "I'm not really here to visit. I just want an answer."
"Sit down." Her voice was firm and Cristina sunk into the chair.
She watched the woman closely for any positive or negative sign that they had won their case, that they would be able to take Xavier home- but she was unreadable.
"You will be assigned a caseworker to follow you through the 180 waiting period. At that point, you will be assigned an attorney to begin the final adoptions process. There are classes that you and your husband will have to take prior to the final adoption process and the caseworker will line those up for you." She began rambling as she stacked one paper on top of another. "You will be responsible for all of his cares. A small stipend will be paid to you every month for expenses. Daycare is provided by the division with a co-pay at some centers, depending on which fancy school you decide to send him to."
"Wait..wait…let's start at the beginning." Cristina stammered, "You're telling me this because…"
"I'm telling this because you're a mother, Dr. Yang. The division has accepted your application for custody of Xavier. Well, technically, Xavier Burke, since you're the only prospective parents and he is without a last name, he picks up yours. No matter the outcome of the 180 day waiting period, if you decide to forfeit your rights to the infant he will retain the last name, unless you prefer a different name be assigned to him."
Cristina nearly choked on her words, "Burke…Burke is fine."
"Good. Because that's what I told them." Andrea handed her a stack of papers, "These papers are for your information from the division about the resources available to you. The card on top is the name of the temporary caseworker on the case. You'll need to call her once you get Xavier home so she can schedule home visits to check up on him from time to time."
"Do we have to sign something before we take him home? Are there papers or can we just take him?"
"He's not a car, Yang. You've done everything required to take him home. The only thing you have to do is take him home and wait six months and then he'll be yours forever. No caseworkers, no division." She smiled faintly. "Not that you're nervous or anything."
"I don't get nervous." Cristina smirked at her.
"So that's it. Take your papers and get out of my office. I have work to do."
Cristina rose from her chair slowly, everything swirling around her. Her heart was beating more rapidly that it had been on her trip to the office. She paused at the doorway and turned to look at Andrea, "Hey…I just wanted to thank you or whatever for helping us. Burke really wanted this, y'know…and anyway. Just thanks."
"You want it too." Andrea replied evenly without looking up from her papers.
"Yeah..well, not as bad as he did." Cristina shrugged and walked away from the office.
A grin spread across her face that she couldn't seem to remove. Everything had come together. The only thing they had to wait for was the last of his labs to come down, for the residual infection to resolve and they'd be able to take him home.
She pushed the door open to the NICU and bit the inside of her lip to tear the smile from her face as she approached Burke.
"Did you find her?" He asked quietly, nerves tickling at his own stomach.
"I did."
"And?"
"We're parents. Whatever." She smirked as she caught his gaze, "We can take him home when he's discharged."
Burke reached out to her pulling her close, "Thank you." He whispered against her soft curls as he tightened his arm around her.
She leaned into him, happiness leaking into every crevice of her body. The light in his eyes, the grin on his face, the joy in his intonation- every bit of it was worth the wait for her. Despite everything that had gone wrong she'd still managed to give him the family he so desperately wanted. "It was nothing."