Not even the prospect of Quidditch practice managed to excite Albus – that's how distracted he was. He followed Ed and Jeremiah to the Quidditch shed, his Cherry Falcon draped over his shoulder, and collected up a bundle of school brooms from the corner.
"We should be in for a good practice today," said Ed, tucking the box of practice balls under his arm. "Not really warm, but at least it's not raining, eh'?"
Al shrugged and made a non-committal grunt, not really listening. He wasn't really in the mood to play Quidditch today. Nor had he been in the mood to east breakfast, go to class, have lunch, talk to anyone, or really even get out of bed much. The only reason he'd bothered with Quidditch practice was because Ed and Jerry had threatened to hide his broom if he didn't get his lazy arse out of bed. He'd been a pretty lousy Team Captain this year, that was for sure. Between his fights with Scorpius and the heavy workloads their Professors had been lumping them with, Quidditch had taken somewhat of a backseat this term.
They made their way across the pitch to where the rest of the team were already gathered.
"Leaving practice a bit late this year, aren't you?" called Michael Gratski, leaning on his broom stirrup. "Already a week into November."
"When's our first match this year, anyway?" asked Ed, turning to Al. Al went over the vague schedule in his mind. He'd not paid much attention to it yet, since it seemed like they had all the time in the world when he'd first got it.
"Early February, I think," he replied, guessing more than anything. He knew the three matches were pretty evenly spaced, and that the last match was only a week or two before they broke up for summer. It made sense for it to be in February some time. That only gave them three months of practice time. He sighed; they'd need to start pulling their finger out if they wanted to win this year.
"Alright", he said, lowering his broom holding it in both hands, down by his waist. "Since this is our first practice of the year, we'll start out with the basics. Brush up a bit. Craig, Alex and Ed, you practice passing and tackles. Try and score a few, as well. Mike?" he said, addressing the team's Keeper. "You do what you do best. Jerry, you hit the Bludgers towards us, Ian can keep them back. Okay, guys?"
The team nodded, mounted, and kicked off. Al flew over to the far side of the pitch to keep an eye of proceedings, but found he was only half-heartedly paying attention. The three Chasers were on form, as usual, and even managed to get a goal or two past Michael, but Al just couldn't seem to muster the enthusiasm to care too much. He kept going over his conversation with Lily from several days ago.
How much had things actually changed? Well, of course something had changed, or Albus wouldn't have been feeling so completely lost; but what did this specifically change about his and Scorpius' friendship? Lily was right; it was obvious Scorpius had had these feelings for some time, or the outburst at the party would never have happened. And if Scorp had had these feelings for a while and done nothing about them, just carried on as normal, then Al could only assume that meant he didn't want to disturb the balance.
But then why had he told him? Surely he could have said any number of things instead of what he did? Did that mean he was expecting more? Had he been expecting some sort of returned confession? Is that why he'd left so quickly when Al hadn't replied?
But he probably would have done something before that point if he had. Surely Al would have noticed? He realised he could be a little oblivious sometimes, but not even he was that completely dense.
"Potter," came Ian's voice from across the pitch. "Wake up, mate."
Al blinked and looked up. The practice Snitch was fluttering just several feet in front of his face. He sighed and dived for it, missing it by inches as it swerved artfully and zoomed off across the pitch. Al followed, keeping it in his sights until it doubled back on him and seemed to vanish into thin air. The game continued, Al now hovering at the other end of the pitch, staring off into space once again.
He didn't think Scorpius would expect anything of him in that sense. He'd never expected anything of him. That's part of what made Scorpius so special. He gave so much of his time for him, helping him study, getting his grades up, teaching him new things… and he'd never once asked for anything in return. It hardly seemed fair to think he'd make any kind of assumptions based on his own feelings towards Al.
And if Scorpius expected nothing, what was there stopping them from being friends? Carrying on as normal? Of course, there was the obvious… Albus now knew how Scorpius felt, and that was slightly odd. He'd never experienced something like this before. He wasn't stupid; he knew gay people existed, and there was nothing wrong with people being gay. It was all just love at the end of the day, wasn't it? He'd just never really thought about it before. Nobody he knew was gay. At least… up until this point.
And was Scorp even gay? Maybe he was bisexual? Maybe he was one of those straight guys who develops a crush on a man? But then… had Scorpius ever dated a girl? Albus couldn't remember Scorpius ever going on a single date. Unless text books counted? He wracked his brains, but nothing came to mind.
"Albus!"
Al looked up to see the Snitch dancing around his head, and Craig looking exasperatedly at him.
He leaned forward and chased the Snitch round the back of the goalposts, down to the ground and up again before losing it beside one of the Hufflepuff stands. He really wasn't on his best game, today. He sighed and leaned back on his broom, letting one leg swing freely from its stirrup as he went back to ignoring the game at hand.
Lily had asked him how he felt about Scorpius, and his feelings for his best friend hadn't lessened at all. And why should they? He did miss him, and he did still want to be his friend, but would Scorpius be the same person after this? Would he be the same person after this? He looked down at his broom handle as he mulled things over in his head. If he went to speak to Scorpius, what would he say? Would they discuss what had happened and try and clear the air once and for all? Or would that just complicate things further? Would they both ignore it and act as if it had never happened? And exactly how long would it be before one of them snapped?
It wasn't that he was worried about Scorpius bringing it up; it was that he, himself, had questions. Like… 'how long?' And 'why?' And 'does this mean we can't be as close anymore?' The thought of a negative response to that last question made his stomach clench.
"Al!" cried Ian, loudly. "Move!"
Al looked up just in time to see a Bludger hurtling at full-speed towards his face. He lifted his broom as quickly as he could, but couldn't get out of the way fast enough. As he swung himself round, the Bludger connected painfully with his knee, knocking him off balance. He clutched at his broom as he swayed and only just managed to keep himself seated as he brought it down and rolled off onto the ground the second he touched the grass. The other players landed and rushed over to Albus, who was clutching his knee to his chest and hissing through firmly clenched teeth. His knee felt like it had been hit repeatedly with a sledgehammer and the pain was making him feel sick.
"You alright, mate?" asked Alex, kneeling beside him and looking worriedly at his knee.
Albus just shook his head, fearing that any speech would be laced with the hoarse, tell-tail signs of tears.
"Right, let's get him to Bilberry," said Michael, and he, Craig and Alex lifted him in their arms and carried him back to the castle.
Albus winced and hissed and groaned as they carried him, but said nothing, just kept his eyes closed until they got to the Hospital Wing and the three of them placed him down onto the nearest bed.
"My goodness me," cried Madam Bilberry, rushing over from her desk on the far side of the room. "What happened here?"
Alex, Craig and Michael explained what had happened, which Albus was thankful for, and Madam Bilberry rolled her eyes. "Oh, is that all?" she said. "I thought it was something serious."
Albus would have punched her if he weren't in so much pain.
She waved her wand over Al's knee and Al could slowly feel the pain start to subside. After several moments, the pain was gone, but it had been replaced with an unusually hot tingling sensation. He straightened out his leg and opened his mouth to ask exactly what the heat was, but Bilberry answered the question before he could ask it.
"You're knee is going to be quite tender for the next day or so, Potter. The heat you're probably feeling is the magic working on the cracks in your bone. Try not to do anything too strenuous and you should be good as new in the next couple of days. Now, off you go."
Al blinked, finding it much easier to keep the tears at bay now that the pain was gone. "Thanks," he said, giving her a small smile, before he and the other three made their way from the room.
"You're really not with it today, are you?" Alex remarked as they made their way along the corridor.
Al shrugged. "Not entirely. Sorry guys," he said, feeling as if he'd let the team down. "I've not been the best captain so far this year. I promise we'll get out and do more practising soon."
Alex nodded. "When that knee's had time to fix properly, perhaps we can give it another shot? I hear Hofton met The Southampton Swallows over the summer. I'll bet he picked up a load of new tips to pass on to the Ravenclaw team."
"Well, I'll see how I feel in a couple of days," Al nodded, knowing that they were falling behind in their training and he was damned if he was going to let Ravenclaw get the better of them. They were so smug.
When they got to the Great Hall, Craig and Michael left to grab lunch, leaving Al and Alex by the doors.
"I'm gonna go and… read," Al said, wanting an excuse to slink back to his bed and think some more.
"Alright, mate," Alex nodded. "You take it easy."
Al nodded and went to walk away before stopping and frowning. "Hey, um… what would you do if…" he paused, then shook his head. "Never mind." On second thought, he wasn't particularly sure he wanted to discuss it with anyone. He didn't think he could trust his team mates to keep it secret, and he didn't want to embarrass Scorp like that. "See ya."
He made his way carefully down the stairs and up to his dormitory, sliding into bed and hiding under the covers.