Chapter 38

GDR brought his cigarette to his lips, turning away from the meal in front of him. His hands trembled slightly, his finger stiff.

"Are you all right, GDR?" Russia asked kindly, returning his meat laden fork to his plate.

GDR nodded, turning to Russia with a smile, "Da, of course."

Gil struggled as strong gloved hands dragged him down a dark hallway. He tried to keep up, stumbling on injured legs, gripping the sleeve of his captor to keep from falling. He looked back at Russia, who followed behind, expressionless cold on his face.

"Where are you taking me!" he struggled.

General Winter said nothing, only walked faster, not stopping as Gil fell to the ground, continuing to drag him along the stone.

"Khorosho. Lithuania is a good cook, da?" Russia smiled.

"Ja, very good," GDR nodded again, taking another deep inhale of the smoke. He barely picked at his food, which sat on a plate on Russia's desk. They were in his office, eating while discussing work.

"Bitte… bitte nicht (please don't)… nein…" Gil begged as General Winter shoved him into a tiny cell, exactly one-meter square. He turned to the door too late, pounding his fists against it as it slammed in his face, locking. He fell back onto the bench, pressing his head into his hands. He pressed his ear against the door, hearing General Winter and Russia speaking slowly. He couldn't understand them.

GDR took a drink of the beer that sat beside the plate of steak. His hands trembled in the uncomfortable silence. "So," he asked finally, "I suppose you have new orders for me?"

"Remember, GDR, you were the one who asked for this!" General Winter smiled a dark, sickeningly cruel smile that reminded Gil of Russia's, only it was more terrifying.

Gil gasped, closing his eyes, breathing hard in terror as General Winter laid the cold blade against his chest.

GDR winced, looking back up at Russia, who's voice faded into his conscious mind.

"Did you hear me, GDR?" Russia asked, concerned.

GDR shook his head, "I'm sorry, I must have… zoned out for a moment. You were saying?" He brought the cigarette to his lips again.

"I'm sending you to Berlin."

GDR froze, "You…. what? I… I don't want to go there, I-"

"It's not your choice," Russia snapped, shaking his head.

"When am I leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning, very early."

"And what do you want me to do there?" GDR asked, not looking at Russia.

"You're still my best interrogator, GDR. There's more talk of a revolution. Do whatever you have to do to stop it."

GDR nodded, "I can do that," he smiled.

"Khorosho!" Russia grinned. "Now," he sighed, setting his silverware on the plate and moving it to the side, "I have more papers for you to sign."

GDR nodded, moving his own plate, and taking the stack Russia handed to him. He took another deep inhale of the cigarette, and put it out, setting it in the tray on Russia's desk. He turned back to the papers and sighed what he was ordered to.

"Done," he smiled, looking up at Russia.

"Khorosho," Russia smiled back, taking the finished stack of papers and filing them in the cabinet beside his desk. "You will leave for Berlin at 6 am tomorrow. I'll expect you to be in full uniform of course."

GDR nodded.

"You'll be meeting several important politicians and generals. I expect you to treat them with the utmost respect."

GDR nodded again, "Of course, Russland."

Russia smiled, "Khorosho. Now, it's quite late, and you have an early morning, as do I. Help me?" Russia smiled.

GDR nodded with a smile and walked to the other side of the desk, facing Russia. He knelt, untying Russia's boots, helping him take them off. He looked up at the giant country, hoping to see a smile. He wasn't disappointed.

Russia pet his hair gently, "Spasiba, Ptitska."

GDR smiled back, "Of course, Russia."

Russia smiled again and took a small case from his desk, handing it to GDR. "For the week you'll be gone. It should be enough and a little extra."

GDR opened the case, smiling as he saw 3 syringes and 12 bottles of the painkillers, "Spasiba," he looked up at Russia gratefully.

Russia smiled still, motioning for GDR to stand, "I suppose you still need tonight's dose?" he asked kindly.

GDR nodded, zipping the case closed, setting it on the desk.

Russia opened one of the drawers in his desk, pulling out a full vial and syringe. He nodded to GDR, motioning for his arm.

GDR stood and set the jacket of his uniform beside the case on the desk, rolling up the sleeve of his dress shirt. He extended his arm to Russia, closing his eyes with a sigh as he felt the band tighten around his arm as Russia tried to find an un-scared vein to use.

"I can do it…" GDR said, looking back down at Russia's struggle to find a spot on his arm.

"Nyet, it's all right," Russia shook his head, taking the band off Gil's arm, pulling down the white-haired country's sleeve, "I don't have to use your arm." Russia stood, moving GDR's hair away from his neck.

GDR didn't argue, sighing in relief as the Russia gave him three full syringes of the drugs. He smiled up at Russia, "Danke."

Russia smiled back, "Now, you should go rest. If you're leaving at 6 am you'll be getting up at…. 3?

GDR nodded with a smirk, "Probably. I have a run and shower, and then getting on the uniform…" he shrugged, "It takes a while."

Russia laughed, "So it must," he nodded. "If you see Lithuania, tell him we're done with the food." He pat GDR's shoulder and sat back down at his desk, motioning for GDR to leave.

GDR picked up his jacket and the case of medicine. He smiled at Russia with a nod as he reached the door. He opened it, walking into the hall, crashing into Lithuania, sending both of them to the ground.

Lithuania stood without a word and offered GDR help up.

"I don't need your help," GDR shook his head, standing, dusting off his uniform, "Watch where you're going next time!"

Lithuania looked away, his hands shaking as he hid them behind his back, "Looks like Russia has a new pet," he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" GDR snapped, grabbing Lithuania's face and turning it towards his own.

"Nothing," Lithuania pulled his face away from GDR's hand.

"Good," GDR started to walk past him.

"You're starting to act just like he does, Gil…" Lithuania whispered after him.

"What?" GDR stopped but didn't turn.

"Just like Russia. You… you would never have done that when you first got here…"

"Russia protects me."

"From what?"

"Everything."

"Especially yourself, right? Better a Commie than a Nazi?" Lithuania clenched his hands into fists, angry.

Gil dropped his jacket and case on the ground and turned back to Lithuania, slapping him hard.

Lithuania didn't look back at Gil for a moment, closing his eyes. He turned finally, "See? Just like Russia."

Gil said nothing, setting his jaw and clenching his fists tighter.

"What did General Winter do to you…?" Lithuania whispered, concerned. He looked into Gil's eyes. It sent a shiver down his spine. It was like they belonged to someone else. "You're still in there… somewhere. I still believe that, Gil… but…"

GDR punched Lithuania to the ground, kicking his back, "Never try that again. I'm fine. I like belonging to Russia." He turned to pick up his jacket and case and walked down the stairs.

Lithuania brought his hand to his bleeding lip, trembling with shock. He watched Gil walk down the stairs, horrified. He stood slowly, dizzy, and walked into Russia's office.

…

GDR stood in front of the long mirror in his room, wearing a loose pair of sweatpants. He stared at himself, trying to take in the image of a body and a face he barely recognized as his own. His ribs poked through his skin, and he'd lost most of the muscle definition he'd once been proud of. He didn't look strong, he didn't look powerful. He didn't look like a soldier. He touched his right arm gently, poking at the deep red marks and dark purple bruises that wouldn't go away. He looked at his legs, covered by the sweat pants. It had been months since they'd started working again, but they still stung with every step.

He lifted his hands, looking at them. They never stopped shaking, no matter what he tried. He looked at the bleeding knuckles where they'd split against Lithuania's face. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. He couldn't have done that. He couldn't have hurt Lithuania. But he did. His hands didn't look strong either. They were thin and looked older, almost all the muscle from them weakened to the point of nonexistence.

Finally, he looked up into the mirror at his face. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, dark circles… he didn't look like himself. He lifted his shaking hands to his cheeks, feeling the skin on his gaunt face. He ran his finger over his lips. They were dry, cracked, and thinner. The skin under his eyes was tender, and his eyes were bloodshot. He hated it. He didn't look like himself. He didn't feel like himself. He turned, looking at the scar on his shoulder, pulling at the skin, trying to look at the whole mark. He faced the mirror again, tracing the long mark running down the middle of his chest. It was barely healed enough to be considered a scar, and it hurt to touch it, even gently. He didn't care.

General Winter set down the knife, pulling Gil's head back with a smile, "Now, don't make any noise, or I'll make this worse!"

Gil closed his eyes, screaming in pain as General Winter slipped his hand into the deep cut in his chest, wrapping icy fingers around his heart tightly. He set his jaw, trying not to scream again as tears rolled down his cheeks, "Bitte…" he whispered, breathing hard, instinctively struggling at the ropes that bound his wrists to the chair. He screamed again as General Winter's grip grew tighter.

"I'm helping you, remember?" General Winter laughed, "No more pain… no more feeling… anything…"

Gil shook his head, struggling, screaming in pain.

Russia stepped behind him, looking down at General Winter, who let go of Gil's hair. Russia pulled Gil's head back, letting him rest it against his shoulder as he knelt behind him. He put his hand over Gil's mouth, trying to silence him.

Gil struggled, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Russia brushed Gil's hair away from his eyes gently, a catch in his voice, "Please, Ptitska… this will help you. I'm trying to help you… I don't like it that you're in pain…"

Gil kept his eyes closed, trying not to scream, trying not to cry. He struggled still, though less violently, whimpering in pain. Russia's touch more comforting than he would admit.

"Sh…" Russia whispered, petting Gil's forehead gently, keeping his head back against his shoulder, "It'll be over soon. And you'll be stronger. You'll be so much stronger," he smiled, trying to hide the tears in his voice.

Gil stopped struggling, opening his eyes, looking straight ahead. He didn't scream. He didn't move.

Russia brought his hand from Gil's mouth to his shoulder, looking down at General Winter, who still kept his hand around Gil's heart.

"What's your name?" Russia whispered.

"German Democratic Republic," Gil's voice was different, empty.

"What are you?" Russia's voice was gentle, kind.

"A communist state."

"Who do you belong to?"

"The Soviet Union…" Gil didn't move, still resting his head against Russia's shoulder. He winced a little as General Winter moved his hand a little, "You, Russia…. I belong to you…"

"Why was the wall built?" Russia closed his eyes for a moment, trying to keep back tears.

"To protect me."

"What punishment do people attempting to cross it deserve?"

"Death."

"And your brother…?"

"Is America's dog…"

"And what are you?"

"Your bird."

Russia smiled, patting GDR's shoulder, "I'm so proud of you." he smiled, letting GDR lift his head.

General Winter let go of GDR's heart, pulling his hand from his chest and resting a bloody hand on his shoulder, "There. Now you're strong. Now you understand, da?"

GDR nodded, looking into General Winter's grey eyes. He smiled.

General Winter untied GDR's hands, looking up at Russia, "I think I've done what you asked."

Russia nodded, "Da, Spasiba."

General winter nodded back without a word. He walked out of the room.

"GDR?" Russia asked, walking in front of GDR, looking into his face.

GDR looked up at Russia with a soft smile, "Are you really pleased with me?"

Russia nodded, "Very much." He lifted GDR's left arm and put it around his shoulder, helping him stand, "Now, let's get you cleaned up, then food and water, da?"

GDR nodded, letting Russia pick him up, resting his head against his arm around Russia's shoulders. He fell asleep almost instantly.

GDR looked at the angry scar in the mirror. At least Russia was proud of him. He didn't think he was very proud of himself.

A/N: Hey look, I'm not dead! Thank you to those of you who are sticking around! I know it's only been a week... but still XD I get a three day weekend next week, so hopefully, that means more chapters! Filming has been INSANE for this one, as it's a historical piece, so I literally haven't had time to do anything except film and sleep. (I'm not even exaggerating, I literally get home, eat supper, and go to sleep.) My call times are usually around 5:30am or so, and we shoot until 7 or later every day... yesterday (Saturday) my call time was 7am, and we shot until 11pm... so we're talking REEEEEEEAAAAAAALY long filming days. But it's fun, and I wouldn't change it for the world, even though it's not 'easy'. Anyway, that's why it's only one chapter this week. I think that's going to become the norm until the end of August (when filming stops) but that's ok! I might be able to write while I'm there this week, as I have a LOT of sitting-around-doing-nothing this week because of what we're filming. I'm there almost as a formalltiy. So hopefully writing can happen! (no promises though...)

We're back on the East Side again here. And Gil is... different. (Liet is now the only 'sane' on in the house, and I use that definition loosely as I'm not even sure Liet counts...)

As always reviews are SO appreciated! :D :D :D I love reading them, and reply to all I can! I love you all so much! Thank you for your reviews and dedication to this story! *hugs to all* and more lemonaide and cookies!