Chapter 35

Hannah sat in the mess at a table by the balcony, she read the tablet computer with a cup of tea that was now half gone and Luke warm. She was waiting for Ronon and the others to show up before she had lunch and was using the time to read about Atlantis. Mainly the substructure of the city. Her ancient wasn't as bad as she had thought as she now had a firm grasp on the syntax and her vocabulary was growing. She of course still had many words to learn and some were just incomprehensible.

Either way it didn't stop her from her task. She needed to find the original control room to Atlantis. The first one they built before they constructed the towers and turned primary control to the current control room and gate room. It would be a smaller space as it was temporary room. Possibly turned into storage room but the beauty of the room would be that it was still connected to all of Atlantis's systems. It also meant that it hadn't been found by the expedition so they hadn't had a chance to screw around with it. Otherwise it would have been in their discoveries report.

"Mind if I join you?"

Hannah looked up to see Branton with a cup of coffee. He gestured to the chair opposite her. She would have preferred to continue reading but knew it was rude to send him away. She returned his friendly smile and gestured to the empty seat.

"Go ahead" she said putting the tablet computer into sleep mode. Branton smiled and took the seat, he gave a sigh taking in the view for a moment before looking at Hannah.

"I saw you from the coffee station. You were looking pretty intensely at that tablet. What are you reading?" He asked.

"Atlantean Literature" Hannah told him, she looked around and seeing the dinner crowd slowly come in for food as the mess was primed and ready to serve hot food. The aroma was delicious and made her want to go get some but she didn't as she was going to wait for Ronon and Branton looked like he was on a coffee break. She figured it'd be rude to leave him to grab food.

"In Ancient" Branton stated, he looked a mixture of surprised and amused.

"Practising my skills" She informed him, she saw the surprise in his eyes and wondered why everyone was surprised by everything she did even the innocuous stuff like reading the Ancient Database.

"Good story?" he asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Very dry stuff about the weather" she admitted. He laughed as he like everyone were still waiting to encounter something entirely frivolous or at least recreational and entertaining that the Atlantean's had made. Laura was always saying she'd love to read an Atlantean trashy romance novel, something they'd probably never find or at least Hannah kept her fingers crossed they didn't as she really didn't want to know about the Atlanteans in that regard.

"So what brought on all this?"Branton asked.

"Bored, no one needs saving and I've got nothing to do" Hannah said somewhat mockingly, he nodded sagely as if he too was in the same predicament.

"I guess I can understand that" he told her but somehow she doubted that.

"So how are you?" Hannah asked him, changing the conversation to be squarely on him.

"Good" he said.

Ronon and Sheppard had spent the afternoon training in Bantos weaponry as they did almost every day. Unless they were off world or Sheppard was behind on his paperwork. Today had been a light session as Sheppard wanted to give the infirmary a break from their presence for a day or two.

"So I'm going to do a supply run next week. You want in?" Sheppard asked as they walked into the mess hall. Ronon shot Sheppard a look.

"No" Ronon said as he didn't really enjoy long puddle jumper rides and missions that didn't involve either weapons or tavern visit. Sheppard knew this but it didn't stop him from offering. They went to the food line and waited for their turn.

"Well know the offer is there. Looks like Hannah's found company" Sheppard told him, Ronon looked over to where Sheppard tilted his head in direction to and saw Hannah. He frowned as she wasn't dressed in the Atlantis uniform and she had changed her hair. Immediately he knew whatever she had discussed with Sam had not been good as Hannah was reverting back into her Athosian clothing. He also frowned because Branton was sitting with her, whatever they were discussing seemed to be intellectual in nature or so Ronon assumed as Hannah looked at the man like he was an idiot while he was trying to explain something to her. It made his lips quirk into a brief smile as he was glad he wasn't the only one to receive that smile.

"We should probably pack her a tray of food" Sheppard said.

"Not a bad idea" Ronon told him as he picked up trays.

"I prefer not to talk about that" Hannah said to Branton, giving him a look of displeasure as he had picked a rather personal topic as it seemed news had spread about her and Sam's meeting.

"Fair enough" Branton said as he realised his faux pas. Hannah was beginning to wonder if she was going have any friends by the end of the month as it seemed like she couldn't have a conversation without a fight.

"Yeah" Hannah said as an awkwardness come between them. Luckily it didn't last long as Sheppard came up to the table with his usual smile carrying a tray of food and three bottles of water behind him was Ronon followed carrying two trays of food laden with food.

"Hey, what's going on?" Sheppard asked as he and Ronon came up to the table. He didn't miss the awkwardness in the air and in his usual style just decided to ignore it.

"Nothing much, just chatting" Hannah told him as he sat down next to Branton. Hannah moved her tablet computer off table as Ronon placed a tray of food in front of her. Mystery Chicken and mash potatoes with a smattering of green vegetables and carrots. By Mystery it meant leftovers and whatever combination of left over sauces and spices they had in cupboard. Sometimes it worked and other days not so much but hey it was food and it worked more than it failed.

"Thanks" she said to Ronon with a small smile. Appreciating the fact that he saved her joining the line up for food. He gave a nod and took a seat next to her with his own tray of food.

"About what?" Sheppard asked with eager curiosity as he was one of the few people who wasn't afraid to push Hannah's buttons, but he did have the sense to know when to stop.

"Atlantis history and unfounded rumours" Hannah told him as she took one of the bottles of water Sheppard placed on the table.

"What unfounded rumours?" Sheppard asked with interest, Hannah looked unimpressed as she unclipped her cutlery to eat her dinner and began to eat. Luckily Mystery Chicken was delicious today as Hannah needed the sustenance. She wasn't the only one who thought so as Ronon was going through his dinner fairly quickly.

"I don't want to talk about it" Hannah told him after she swallowed a mouthful of food. Sheppard looked to Branton who shook his head staying out of it.

"I'm sure it would be more entertaining than Atlantean History" Sheppard mused as he looked to Ronon wondering if he knew what it was about Ronon ate his food just watching the group as his normal want to do when he didn't have anything to add to the conversation. The fact that Ronon wasn't glaring at Sheppard to back off told Sheppard he definitely had no idea what was going on with Hannah and was just as curious.

"Still not talking about it." Hannah told him as she didn't look up from her meal, grateful to have the slight distraction of having to eat while her dinner was still hot.

"So Branton, I heard you were leaving us in month" Sheppard said changing the direction of the conversation all together. Something Hannah was entirely grateful for as she did not want to talk about the conversation she and Sam had had or the fact that it was making the rounds on the rumour mill. Actually she preferred not be the topic of conversation altogether.

"Yeah, I and my department are the first being reviewed by the IOA" Branton told him. Hannah swallowed her food and frowned.

"Really? Why?" Hannah asked as she didn't realise the expedition was under review but then when she was a member of the expedition. Well they were cut off from Earth, so they were only accountable to themselves. Obviously that had changed in the two years she had been gone.

"Basically they want to review the efficiency of my department and set a new budget. I think I may be downsized" Branton said with a frown.

"I'm sure you'll do fine" Sheppard assured him.

"Says the man who's in charge of the military on the base" Hannah scoffed. She slid a look to Ronon who was his usual quiet self, sometimes she wished she could read his mind. Their eyes connected for a moment and she gave a brief smile before turning her attention back to Branton and Sheppard. She really didn't need Sheppard getting on her and Ronon's case again.

"When do you go for your review?" Branton asked Sheppard.

"Don't have to, that's Colonel Carter's job" Sheppard told him with a smug smile.

"Lucky you" Branton mused, he looked at his watch noting the time and then smiled at them. "Now if you'll excuse my coffee break is over" he said, he drained the last of coffee and bid them a farewell before leaving them.

"So back into the Athosian clothing" Sheppard said to Hannah pointing out the obvious. Ronon had to admit he was curious to know why as well because she hadn't just changed clothes, she had changed her whole look. Not that he minded. She could walk around in whatever she liked as long as she wasn't naked. That was a view he'd prefer she keep just for his pleasure.

"Why is it such a huge thing?" Hannah asked Sheppard before she ate some mash potato.

"It's not a huge thing… more like different" Sheppard said.

"I like it" Ronon said in a nonchalant manner and he did, in fact the longer he looked at her the more he loved the fact she wasn't in the grey Atlantis expedition uniform. She looked more relaxed than she did earlier this morning all dressed up in grey. He knew how much one's identity and confidence came from the clothing they wore. It was why he never donned the Atlantis uniform besides the fact he would look ridiculous he also wanted to stand a part from the expedition. He was a member of Sheppard's team and Atlantis was now his home. But he wasn't from Earth so there was no sense in dressing like them and anyway their clothing in his opinion were uncomfortable and did not have the endurance for what he put his clothes through.

"Thank you, anyway Sheppard. You'll just have to get used to it. I handed in my old uniforms" Hannah told him.

"Why?" Sheppard asked.

"Because I'm not a member of the expedition. I shouldn't be wearing the uniform. It sends mixed messages" Hannah told him with a shrug.

"How so?" Sheppard asked, the man looked slightly pissed off as if Hannah was defected his camp or something. She gave him a wry smile.

"Relax, I'm not going anywhere nor has anyone been rude to me or said 'mom' about it. It's just that I'm not officially a member of the expedition. I'm like Teyla or Ronon. Not on the payroll but getting free food and a place to stay" Hannah said with a smile trying to keep the conversation light.

"You know Teyla and Ronon actually get paid" Sheppard told Hannah.

"I do?" Ronon asked as this was news to him.

"Yeah, of course. It's why you signed all that paperwork" Sheppard said, he assumed Weir had one of her lackey's get Teyla to fill out the paperwork to be official members of the expedition, so along with signing a waiver they got a paycheck but looking at Ronon's face it was dawning on him that this was not the case. At least with Teyla he could say it was a fair trade as the expedition helped the Athosians and vice versa but with Ronon it was a different case.

"What paperwork?" Ronon asked him as he didn't sign his name to anything and even then he still hadn't learned read or write in English. Earth's version of English. On Sateda they read and wrote in derivative of the Ancestor's language. He didn't see the point as he was never asked to submit reports and someone always told him what mission he was going on and what he needed so there was no point in learning.

"You mean you've been here for over two years and never gotten paid?" Sheppard asked him.

"What am I going to get for pieces of paper?" Ronon asked as he had seen Earth currency when they went to Beckett's funeral. Sheppard made a face as he wasn't sure how to answer.

"Well" he drawled buying time to come up with an answer.

"Nothing here in the Pegasus Galaxy but once you save up enough money you can have it transferred into currency used in this galaxy" Hannah said saving Sheppard the trouble.

"Like?" Ronon asked, he looked around the restaurant briefly and saw Fisk and Wallace sitting at a table a far side of the mess. They looked directly at them. They had stones to do so considering what Hannah had told them or they were incredibly stupid. He was going for the latter.

"Gem stones that are cheap on Earth but rare here. It could get you a nice leather jacket, or more weaponry" Hannah suggested to Ronon. He slid a look her way and he knew she saw them but decided to not bring it up due to Sheppard sitting across them. Ronon looked over at the men again to notice they had stopped staring. They were going to be trouble.

"Not a bad idea. I guess" Ronon mused, though he saw it as more of a hassle than anything else as he already had a jacket and enough weapons to keep him happy. Not to mention a roof over his head and three meals a day, now Hannah was here there wasn't much else he wanted... well there were some things but given time he'd get them and he wouldn't need paper to get them.

"Something to think about. So what have you guys been up to?" she asked them, changing the topic altogether.

"Nothing, just the usual" Sheppard said.

Later that evening,

They laid in his bed with Hannah tucked at his side, he kept thinking about her current situation of staying of Colonel Carter's radar and away from Fisk and Wallace. He'd seen the way those two men looked at her when they arrived in the mess. They looked like they wanted blood. Obviously whatever she had done to their Lucian Alliance brothers and her cocky attitude had only fuelled their desire for a fight.

Hell, he'd give it to them and pummel them in to the floor but Hannah didn't want him to involve himself in the oncoming fray. He out of respect would honour the request. To a certain limit of course or when Hannah asked him to help her but for now he would make sure he was always near her and train her harder in sparring and run more. That way she would be in peak physical condition and ready when he had to go off world leaving her alone.

He knew she could take care of herself but he knew she could be better, she could fight stronger and be more disciplined in her training which would help her get out the negative energy she had stored inside her. Hell, it might get her focus more on watching what she was doing and saying so she didn't end up placing herself in the same position again.

"Tell me about Sateda" Hannah said, she broke through the reverie of Ronon's thoughts.

"What?" Ronon asked her not sure he heard her correctly.

"Tell me about Sateda, what it was like there, your family, growing up all that stuff" Hannah said to him, she kept her head on his shoulder but he knew she could hear his heart pounding at the question. No one talked to him or ever asked him Sateda. Well, that was a lie Sheppard asked once or twice and Ronon would share a random story about his old commanders or his childhood but those times were very few and far between the amount of stories the others shared.

"It would take too long" he told her deciding to answer the question obtusely. It wasn't that he hadn't expected her not to ask at some point it was that he was sorely unprepared with how he was supposed answer the question. Hannah of course chuckled, not understanding the dilemma running through his head but taking what he said at face value.

"You don't have to tell me everything tonight" she told him, he couldn't help but smile in the dark.

"I wouldn't know where to start" he admitted truthfully, he did want to share with her but how does one talk about a way of life that was taken away from them. The people one lost after thinking for 7 years they were still alive when they had in fact been obliterated.

"Why don't you start with what your people were like, their traditions, you can tell me anything. It doesn't have to deeply personal, I'm not asking you bare your soul to me" she assured him as she snuggled closer to his body.

"If I do will you tell me about your life?" he asked as he did want her to bare her soul to him.

"Which one?" she half joked.

"All of them" he said in all seriousness, he felt Hannah stiffen slightly in his arms and realised that he had touched a sensitive nerve but the fact she didn't withdraw from him showed the trust she had in him.

"I guess it's lucky we're so young because I'm sure it'll take me a lifetime to tell you about them all" Hannah drawled in a joking manner.

"You think we'll be together that long?" he asked her, he couldn't help but want to live her idealistic world where people had children and lived to a ripe old age and the idea of doing that with her was something that made him ache with awareness that one or both of them would likely die before the first of their hair turned grey. They lived too dangerously to think otherwise. Pain and grief two things he'd rather live without but he no longer wanted to live without happiness and intimacy of being surrounded by people he loved.

"I hope so, I did come back from the dead for you. So no pressure or anything" she teased. Ronon laughed and shook his head at her humour. Silence lapsed between them as he didn't really know what to tell her about Sateda.

If he were honest he tried not to think about it. It was the past, it couldn't changed and majority of it he wanted to forget. Yet it made up a huge part of who he was as the one thing he held onto as a Runner was that he was a survivor, what gave him his strength was that he was a Satedan to lie down in defeat and give up without fighting would have been an insult to his ancestors and his people.

He vaguely explained what his people were like; how they were strong and proud people, with many traditions and a strict code of honour. Even though at the end when everything fell apart he felt like he was the only one left who still believed in the tenets of his people or still valued them unlike the others. His world was dead, the life he had once known and the people were also long dead and gone.

Those who remained had either become drunken carousers or disappeared completely leaving their identities as Satedans behind. He couldn't find the mythical 300 survivors Solan Sincha spoke of. If he were honest he didn't want to find them as he preferred the illusion than whatever the reality was.

So he told Hannah the best aspects of his culture, it was funny that once he started talking how easily it all flowed from him. He'd never spoken so much in the past 9 years as was doing so right now but then somehow it was easier to talk in the dark without anyone looking at him directly.

Hannah rested her head on his shoulder and listened to Ronon, he told her of his planet; how once had been compared to how it was. He told her briefly about his culture how they believed deeply in honouring their ancestors who came before them, honouring the soldiers that had fallen in battle and treasuring those in your life as it was incredibly short.

For a man who once told her that his race wasn't militarised, it certainly sounded like it as a good proportion of the population were soldiers. In short to Hannah; his race sounded like an amalgamation of the early Māori and Japanese cultures before the turn of the 18th century on Earth.

"That's how my people were but they are gone" he finished, a sadness permeated his spirit as he truly missed his home world and his family. He never really gave himself time to grieve it. He just pushed it aside and kept moving, the grief had slowly turned to anger, to rage which in the end was the only thing that kept him alive in those seven years as a runner. But right now he wasn't ready to share that with her.

"All of them?" Hannah asked him.

"No, there are a few survivors" he told her.

"But?" she asked.

"They aren't how I remember them" he said, Solan Sincha was more of a drunkard who just sat in a pub sharing his old war stories than really living in Ronon's opinion. Solan didn't seem to care about preserving the Satedan way of life so he seriously doubted the others would. He still remembered Kell and murdering him before his own guard. How they hadn't turned on the old man for his betrayal of their people had disgusted him. They were not his people so he seriously doubted the others would live up to his expectations.

"You were a runner for 7 years. I know from experience that you try to remember the best of your life just so that you keep going and forget the rest" Hannah told him.

"I guess so" Ronon said wishing it was true but feeling like maybe he was the one who had been too idealistic in what it meant to be Satedan.

"So, did you come up with a plan?" He asked not wanting to think about his time as a runner or his people anymore. It never helped to think about the past and right now he didn't want to go to sleep thinking about them either.

"Plan for what?" she asked him, he wasn't sure if she was being obtuse of not.

"How you're going to get Wallace and Fisk. I saw how they were looking at you through dinner" he told her, she tensed up again and he wished she would just let him step in and fix it for her but reminded himself that she wouldn't let him. It seemed to be a matter of pride or so he was assumed.

"Yeah, I didn't miss it" Hannah said, he shifted his body down the bed and turned onto his side so he was facing her. He pulled her right leg over his hip and ran the palm of his hand up her thigh and back down enjoying the warmth and feel of her skin against his. She shifted closer to him and he felt her lift the necklaces from his neck and start to fiddle with them.

"They're going to come at you. They got that look" he told her. In the faint light of the moons he could just make out her features. She looked down at his necklaces not making eye contact.

"I know, I have a month to figure out what they are up to and remove them in such a way that I won't be connected to it" Hannah told him before looking up at his face.

"I could-" he was about to offer to step in but she shook her head and cut him off.

"No, I don't want this blowing back on you. Atlantis is your home" Hannah told him and now he knew it was pride and also because she wanted to protect him. To save him from being tossed off Atlantis or being tossed into the Brig. There never really any law laid down on him if he killed a member of the expedition but then he never had the provocation to do so until now.

"No my home is in the Pegasus Galaxy wherever you are" he told her, she gave a saddened smile like she didn't entirely believe him but would placate him. In his mind it was a messed up mindset to have. He cupped the sides of her face with his hands. "Look at me" he ordered her. He repeated the order again until Hannah looked at him.

"Do you know how many of people came back for me?" he asked her, she opened her mouth to answer but he spoke first. "None, they heard stories of me being a runner and not one of them tried to help me, no one helped me. Not until Sheppard, not until you. You think that means nothing to me?" he asked her, his anger boiling within him as he hated being doubted or lumped in with the others who had failed her before.

"No" she replied.

"Then get it out of your head that one day I'm going to chose someone or something over you" he told her.

"But one day you will" She told him, there was a fierceness in her tone that said she had been in the situation before and knew what was going to happen.

"I won't" he told her firmly. He wanted to take her under him and make her entirely his. Make her understand that he wasn't walking away. He was going to take the bad with the good. In Hannah's case there seemed a lot more of bad than good but given the world she lived in it. Obviously he was going to have to keep repeating himself in regards to where she stood with him and he knew she would mistake any form of intimacy for him distraction her from a truth she had formed in her head. Not a declaration of what was between them or his emotions.

"One day you'll believe me" he told her.

"I hope so. I really do" Hannah whispered to him. He tried not to take offence from her lack of faith as he knew only time would help him on that front so for now he changed the topic to somewhat less rockier ground.

"Tell me why I can't kill Fisk and Wallace." he told her, he gave her a smile to know he was half joking but really he was dead serious. He would kill them as he wasn't going to let two stupid soldiers get between him and Hannah. She gave her own smile and shook her head at him.

"Because this is where deception is required not brute force but I appreciate the offer. What I need to do is get a better look of the lower levels" She told him. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Anywhere in particular? We could add it into our morning runs" he suggested. He watched her face light up and felt a zing of pleasure knowing he was able to help her and make her smile.

"Yeah? I need to find original control room to Atlantis" Hannah told him.

"Why?" he asked as he moved his hands down her body. He wished she wasn't wearing her underwear and a tank top as he rather feel her skin pressed against his. One day he told him as she pressed herself against him.

"So I can use the city sensors to track unusual pattern movements. They are going to store whatever they are stealing in areas of the city that aren't being used or at least meeting in places where they won't be overheard" Hannah said, it made sense to him but her plan didn't really grab him as something that would be successful.

"Wouldn't they just go into the damaged areas of the city?" he asked poking a serious hole in her plan.

"Possibly, but if I can fix or replace those damaged sensors" Hannah drawled then it was a foregone conclusion that Hannah would be able spy surreptitiously on Fisk and Wallace. It would also take a lot of time to make the plan to work. Longer than a month and given how much happened around Atlantis it was unrealistic to believe she could do it but Ronon held his tongue.

"You know how to do that? Repair the sensors?" he asked her hoping through subtle suggestions he can make her see how the plan had holes in it.

"I can try, it's not going to be easy but we could rule out the damaged areas by doing a run by" Hannah said with a hopeful look on her face. She obviously thought it was a workable plan and so he'd help her as much as he could even if it was just watching her back and maybe a little intimidation. He wondered how many bones he could break in Fisk and Wallace's body to send them back to Earth and make it seem like an accident.

"We can but we're also going to start training you harder. I have to go off world at some point which means you'll be on your own" he told her.

"I know how fight" Hannah told him, she nipped the skin on his collarbone with her teeth. It was meant to annoy him but instead it just aroused him, she was definitely going to test his control.

"Then I'll train you to be the best" he said as he moved his hands to her ass and gripped her hips against his. She gave a groan of pleasure as she wanted nothing more than to get naked with him and take him inside her body but she couldn't find the guts to verbalise her desire.

"I'm already the best" she told him.

"Still haven't gotten me on my back yet" he told her.