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A Holy War
~What They Say~
Hiya, how's everyone been? :D Hope you're all doing well! I finally earned myself some free time! I think it was last Saturday; I entered the final round of this singing contest by Healthfirst Health Insurance. And guess what? I got second place of the Middle/ High School Group and earned myself a little trophy, $400 and an arrangement to go on this international TV show or something…I don't have too much info on it yet, so please bear with me and my lack of explanation on that topic. If you'd like to see it, feel free to visit my FB page; link's on my profile. ^_^ Feel free to post comments and criticism. I accept all! And today, I went to this concert in Flushing Library to sing in this donation program hosted by NY Flushing .com for this little 9 year old girl that lost both of her parents to a fire in Brooklyn…Glad to say we helped raise over a thousand dollars for her. Hope she fares well, I'm sure I'd brawl my eyes out if this happens to me… so remember to cherish all those that are important to you, especially since today's Father's Day! And I guess now after all these events…I need to let out my own emotional feelings. XD Sadly…after this little break, tomorrow I have the mile test for PE that I dread so much and the two regents the day after that. T^T Gotta do this while I still have freedom!
Also, thanks to Smuthermuffin, TheSecretDreamer,Sovereign64,LightandDarkHeart, CrimsonNight41, Cornelia, Artycomicfangirl, Icebella, NanyLU, Yusaki Miori, Purple Antidote, tsukimarionette143, xKSTARx, Hale8,BlackCatNeko999,Matchmakingdove1028, and DeenaSoraDrakeall for faving, reviewing, reading, following this story. And if I missed your name by accident, please PM me! I'm sorry if I did that to any of you wondrous folks. But since I usually do this at night where I have time, my brain is usually like swimming in mud. So if I did that, feel free to tell me, and I'll immediately VIP thank you in next chappie! . And special thanks to GunnerPuppy for proofreading this chapter. Geez, I'm awful at grammar and tense sometimes. Thanks for the keen eyes, Puppy, couldn't have done it without you! :)
Song suggestion: Personally, I believe all the following is sad enough to suit this chappie. But feel free to play your own fave music! And please recommend them to me if you feel like it! XD Btw, everything is from Japanese musicians. Teehee, but they really do sound awesome!
Kohak Zipangu: (A really hilarious and touching Taiwanese drama's cello soundtrack. Seriously, try watching Chocolat, darn hilarious and sad at the same time. I think the last, last time I cried for a drama was in fourth grade. That is, until now. :P ) And since I just realized that FanFiciton .com doesn't allow you to copy and paste story contents, all the links will be available on my profile. Please visit there to save yourself the trouble of retyping all the links. :P
Princess Mononoke: (Now, don't know if you've watched this before. But if you didn't, you should watch it immediately! An international classic. Watched it like 4-5 times since my first encounter with it in 2nd grade even thought I didn't understand all the themes until recently. -.-; But try it, a popular movie on the "Must Watch Before You Die" List. And it really lives up to its name; its epic!)
Okie, enough rambles…I get pretty emotional these days myself, LOL. Enjoy! And don't forget to tell that special person in your house, "Happy Father's Day!"
It took him a while to finally walk down the long hallway that led to Wendy's room. A small frown tugged at Jellal's lips as he gradually realized that Wendy's new room was located at the darkest, most isolated and ignored corners of the temple. Here slithering snakes were occasionally seen slipping into the shadowy debris of the temple as spiders the size of cherries stalked upon the gray webs that are woven all over the place. Although both the snakes and the spiders seemed to know better than to get into his way and are desperately fleeing from his presence, he still decided that he will clear up this place afterwards for the sake of his new guest's comfort.
Briefly he also made a mental note to himself to destroy the idiot that made this arrangement. Whomever it was that had arranged Wendy's room here has also sealed his or her own fate, for he is now interfering with the will and goals of the Master of Sacred Akuma himself.
His eyes narrowed humorlessly. Oh yes, he'd be sure to eliminate whoever that did this. Wendy would never feel comfortable this way, and that would just complicate things for him when he was trying to prove himself harmless before the young girl.
When he arrived at her door, he paused to give it a good long knock. And instantly a small meek voice sounded from the other side of the wooden surface. Her voice, laced with anxiety, was so low that he was sure had he been a mortal, he would not have heard her. "U-um...yes? Who is it?"
He didn't exactly bother to answer her question due to having spent all his patience on his earlier encounter with Ultear. But just to show that he came in peace, he still asked. "May I come in?"
"W-who are you? And what do you, um, want?" Her feeble voice was painted with traces of hesitant and fear. And from the sound of sniffles and deep breaths, he assumed that up to this point she had been sobbing. A slight frown shadowed over his face, so it was a right decision to stop by. She is definitely not okay.
"Jellal." He whispered as gently as he could. "Or you may remember me as the Master of Sacred Akuma, the one whom you lectured earlier this day about a sorrowful past and all. Do you remember, Wendy?"
"Jellal...Master of Sacred Akuma..." Upon here, with great unease, Jellal heard the sudden nervous shake of her voice as well as the gradual weakening of her tone. Just by the sound of her voice, he could already tell that this comforting process will probably take all day, given how afraid and meek her tone is.
Upon this thought, he released a drowsy sigh. "Yes, Wendy. It is I, but you shouldn't be afraid of me. I promise I won't hurt you. So can you please let me in?"
There was a long pause, and Jellal could have sworn the time and patience he used waiting for her was longer than the time he used for all others beings -mortals or Immortals- combined. Heck, he was a powerful demonic individual to whereas even the Gods and Goddesses would approach with caution and try not to aggravate for their own sake. And yet...now he was standing at a door of his own headquarters, asking for a twelve year old village girl for her permission to enter as a young child does to his or her parents.
Were it not for his fearsome reputation, he'd be surprised if the Sacred Akuma guards Ultear assigned at the doors of the room didn't laugh. However, his reputation seems enough to do the job as they barely dared to look his way.
He was seriously considering entering regardless of her inputs and feelings when his ears reported to him the sound of the small shuffles of bed sheets and slippers as Wendy left her bed. Another moment, the door slipped open and immediately Jellal found himself face to face to a small child with pale, nervous and teary face, with messy blue locks of hair and bright, watery eyes.
The child looked away nervously when his worried eyes met her soaked orbs. "…P-please come in…I guess."
He does not need to be told twice. Wordlessly he stepped into the room after her and then with a wag of his fingers, he allowed the door to close and lock itself. Wendy glanced back once with minor suspicion and fright swirling in her eyes. But then she turned away as if nothing had happened and climbed onto her bed, behaving as if she has nothing left to lose anymore.
Jellal's golden eyes scanned across the room, and much to his satisfaction he found it to be seemingly clean and comfortable. A small oak nightstand stood next her bed of rosy silks and feathered pillows. Two windows decorated with azure curtains were shut close, blocking the outside sunset lights. And between them was a simple wooden desk with a small chair. A few stuffed animals, toys and crayons lie on the table, but it was obvious that they had been left untouched by the new owner. He could tell that the furniture was arranged in a hurry, but a few dusty pieces of wood weren't much of a big deal. What worried him most was the girl herself.
Despite his underlings' desperate attempts at making her feel at home, the girl seems completely uninterested in anything around her as she cuddled herself into the bed. Her legs were scrunched up to her chest and her melancholy, dull eyes were lowered so that they faced the small fists she wrapped around her legs.
It was as if she was a somber thundercloud, and the room also seems to reflect her mood.
Hesitantly, he pulled up a chair next to her bed and took a seat. "So…so how are you now, Wendy?"
She turned around, and now he could definitely see her bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes clearly. The shadows of the dim lit room also drew grotesque shapes on her bruised face. Her voice was a ghostly whisper, "Well…what does it look like to you?"
His small smile faded as he looked away, feeling the young girl's burning eyes scorching into his heart and conscience…a feeling he hadn't felt for a while except with meeting Erza. "Um…look, Wendy, I'm sorry for what happened and what you had to go through. I understand that…even though I have not ordered the destruction of your village, I had still in some ways contributed to the pain you suffer now. I know this is cruel, and I don't mean to torment you with this- but you must know that once a person is dead, there's no way to bring them back."
She remained still, staring blankly at her knees. "I know. I know you are speaking of empty words of something you've never experienced. But I assure you I know how it feels…it is painful, and I would have cried at the mere memory of it. But I've ran out of tears long ago."
Jellal closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His gloved hands had crumbled the fabric of the pants at his knees as his mind desperately tried to think of what to say. "Um…Wendy, you have to understand this. You parents, with a good chance, are gone….Mourning over them will not bring them back. I'm not telling you not to mourn, I just wish you well… I don't want you to suffer anymore."
She remained impassively silent, and worriedly, he gazed up at her. "Just look at you right now; you look so fragile, so pale… This isn't good…Have you had anything to eat yet?"
"I wonder how can you say these words so effortlessly! So plainly as if you understand my pain!" She suddenly cried, flashing over to him. Surprised, he looked up to find himself staring into a pair of indignant, furious eyes. Shining liquids again streamed over her already red cheeks as she screamed. "Why are you acting as if you cared about me when your people effortlessly tore my world apart? How can you ask me in such a casual way? Like a kin…of whether I've eaten or not?"
"W-Wendy, I- I'm just worried about your wellbeing-"
"You!" She pointed at him defiantly, "You were the one that formed this goddamned crime organization. You were the one that ruined my life! The one that killed my mom and dad and brother! The one that burned my village and stole all I've ever had! So why are you pretending to be the good guy now? What is it that you want from me? What is your motive? The secret to where Lost Magic is, isn't it? You want to know where it is, that's why you're being so nice to me now, right? You'll probably kill me after I tell you, won't you?"
"What did my family ever do to you? Why were my village burned into ashes because you wanted to know where that cursed Magic is? Why are you and that woman doing this to me? Stripping me of my home, family and happiness!" She had leapt up on the bed, crying with her head facing the ceiling. A thorn seemed to have embedded itself into his heart from the words, but he forced himself to remain calm…for going berserk will only make the situation worse.
She then glowered down at him, tears lining her burning eyes. And he forced himself to remain at his seat while she stood on the bed, shivering with fury. That was the only way she towered over him. "Expect nothing out of me! I won't tell you! The holy Gods and Goddesses themselves warned me about you! They told me you were evil, dark and twisted! They told me to watch out for you. They told me you are a being void of love, of light! I'll never tell you where it is! Never, never! I'd rather die than risk the balance of this world. In fact, kill me if you want, I'll finally see my family again that way-"
"Are you quite done?" His seemingly calm words somehow easily cut through her tantrum, and for a moment he saw surprise flickering through her pained eyes. He leaned back into his chair and released a deep breath. "Wendy, I have no idea where you got the impression that I'd kill you. But you can rest assured that I won't touch a hair on your head. Yes… indeed I do want to know where Lost Magic is. But I don't think it'd be quite worth it if I have to torture a kid over the information."
"B-but you are….Leader of…Sacred Akuma…" She blinked with shock from this unexpected answer. But within moments her earlier fury controlled her again. "I know that a monster like you has no limits when it comes to what you'll need to do to achieve your goals! You are filled with hatred and darkness, a person like you can never learn to be considerate and love others! That's right, you're just trying to trick me into sympathy and understanding so I'd cooperate with you…isn't that right, scum? Don't try to fool me! Great Kagura-sama told me that herself!
Kagura? As in Simon's sister? Upon her words, his eyes suddenly snapped open with rage. "What did you say?"
Wendy's aura paled a little at the sight of his steel eyes, but her anger was way too strong to be wavered by fear. "I…I said you're a monstrous being that will never understand what it feels to love and be loved, since you're entire existence is made of hatred and anger! That's what Kagura-sama said!"
His eyes narrowed, "So you have met with the Gods and Goddesses themselves, even with someone as prominent as Kagura the Gravity Goddess. A High Goddess."
She turned away and almost spat out in disgust. "Yes, I have! She was a beautiful, kindhearted Goddess. Unlike you! An evil exile that is cold and sadistic!"
Murderous rage spilled into his eyes as the revolting memories spilled into his mind. "So you also knew about me? She had told you?"
"That's right, along with Great Ikaruga-sama!" The child cried back defiantly, tears stinging at her red eyes as Jellal's expression grew into a deadly snarl from the mentioned name. "They told me everything! About how you were once Rurcorlus the God of Hope! However, you were a disgrace to have fallen into the darkness. What irony to your name, Great Rurcorlus-sama!"
"You will refrain from calling me that name!" For a moment Wendy recoiled slightly as his eyes shifted into a shade of bloody red. "Do not make me repeat myself, Wendy. You will refer to me as Jellal. I will not tolerate anyone that calls me with that name; even you! And I would hate to hurt you."
"I thought you were meaner than this," She growled. Although she had stopped screaming at him, scorching anger still glowed at her eyes. "Weren't you basically some kind of dark, crime lord? I wouldn't have expected sympathy out of you. So why are you being so nice to me now? Even giving off a warning instead of finishing me off?"
He exhaled deeply as he forced himself to calm; summoning away his crimson eyes. Although he is beyond pissed, admiral still swirled within his black eyes. There aren't many people left that dare to scream or talk back at him like this.
"Isn't it funny?" His voice had returned to a gentler tone, but his eyes are still consisted of frozen splinters. "So far, you came to an assumption that I am a demonic being. A creature near to that of a savage. One that understands neither sorrow nor love; a self centered bastard that is willing to do anything to achieve his own goals. Yet all of this…is based on what others said about me…."
He watched the young girl's red, watery eyes flickering in confusion. "Wendy, have you ever considered this? That you yourself is drowned in hatred and anger over the loss of your family and your village. Have you ever looked at me square in the eye before without jumping into a conclusion from what others told you? Have you looked at me with a pair of eyes unclouded by hate to determine what kind of person I truly am? Yes, I've killed before, I've lied before, I've done unspeakable degree of sins before…but you know all of this only from what others told you, right?"
Her eyes narrowed, but her earlier overwhelming confidence is gone. "I've seen you almost killing that woman this morning at the dungeons. And from what I've observed, others' description of your personality is more than accurate."
"So you refuse to admit your conclusion of me is not prejudice at work?"
Her eyes unwaveringly stared into his. "Yes."
He lowered his head and allowed his hand to rub at his temple; a headache is developing. "Very well. Then I ask you, what makes you affirmative that I am a man without love, of consideration? What makes you believe that I despise love? Of affection? Of someone that would understand me?"
For the first time ever, her voice weakened with hesitation. Those once infuriated orbs of her had also drifted away. "You…you've seemed happy to kill your own executive before..." she turned to face him, a challenging sparkle clouding her eyes. "Am I wrong? You've proved to me that you can throw away someone's trust and life so easily because they didn't let you in on something!"
With a small sigh, Jellal turned away tiresomely. This girl…wise beyond her years, or ignorantly stupid of circumstances. Which should I say?
"You are correct to some degree," Her eyes widened with surprise as he suddenly turned back to face her. It was obvious that she had not expected him to admit so casually to her question. He stared into her eyes, striving to let her know all the emotions of his heart. "I am as you mostly mentioned: a person that is cruel and twisted. I did almost kill Ultear, for I felt she had crossed the line. I think you already know, she was the one who craftily planned your abduction. I'll tell you that when she did it, I was still hundreds of mile from here- still in my little worldwide vacation. She faked my permission for her actions and had you redirect your anger to me in order to gain your trust."
He paused momentarily to catch his breath as the young girl stared back at him. She seems uncertain of what to say, and upon this scene, he sighed as the drowsiness crept back into him once again, "Anyway, you know what? That's not even important. Wendy, you have said I am an ambitious, cruel and twisted person. You have this morning said I cannot understand sorrow or sadness, that I am inconsiderate and don't give a damn about others. You have also decided from others' words, that I am a creature void of love and affection. That I despised and loathe the sensation of love and care. That there's nothing to more me than hatred… Wendy, this you are wrong." His eyes shifted over to her, who seems now somewhat uncertain of what to believe.
A surge of memory stormed his mind, and a small frown fell over his face as his eyes creased close with sorrow. His hand involuntarily rose to rub his tormented brain. "No one is truly happy to walk the path of a loner, Wendy. Not even me. After all, I'm only human now. Even should one deny it, there is still a tiny corner in the deepest of his heart that wishes for affection, of love and someone that can understand him."
Sighing he stood from the chair and opened his sorrowful eyes. "You have probably also heard from the Gods and Goddesses that I am despicable and my existence is a stain that mustn't be tolerated. But Wendy, I ask you: have you ever thought about why Ultear bothered to spare and bring back only you on that fateful night?"
As she looked up at him, he found that she had changed. Her eyes are no longer filled with bitter prejudice, she is no longer a strict believer that he is nothing but a murderous psychopath. "She wanted the knowledge of Lost Magic, isn't it?"
Jellal nodded, "Yes, she did. It was no news that I had been after the location of Lost Magic for some time now. I will believe that she went through all that trouble in order to further my goals. But that doesn't mean she gets to do whatever she want during my absences."
"Then aren't you the reason as to why my village is eventually raided anyway? Even if you didn't cast the order yourself, the result is still the same!" The rage had returned to her bright, infuriated yes once more.
She still doesn't get it.
He sighed before turning away, closing his heavy eyes with defeat. "Wendy, then why… of all the people of the world, why did the Gods and Goddesses pick to tell you this secret?"
A small gasp sounded behind him, and turning around with opened eyes, Jellal saw her eyes round as moons as the realization suddenly came through. "Wendy, I wouldn't dare say the world has millions and billions of people since the Dark Age. But I can guarantee that there are hundreds of thousands of people that can put up a better fight with me than you. They are all much more suitable choices for the Gods to reveal the secret of Lost Magic to."
"So…why…why did they p-pick me?" A sob shook her voice as her eyes suddenly grew glassy with glittering tears. "T-that means….my village was all destroyed…because the Gods and Goddesses decided to…tell me this secret? Even when…hundreds of more…appropriate choices exists?"
She suddenly lost strength, and fell to her knees on the soft mattress. The next instant she fallen on her stomach with a howl of agony. "Why would they do this? Why must they make me suffer like this?"
The ex-God turned around as the girl screamed with overwhelming sadness. With a heavy heart, Jellal found his own vision blurring slightly with warmth at the sight of the defenseless, wounded creature.
Tears must have carved permanent pathways on her red face from the countless sobs she had this day. Her eyes were swelling and shut close, but somehow the evidences of sadness still poured from her shut eyelids. Gradually, her banging fists halted and her screams morphed into whimpers and whines, "Why, why, why, why? Why? Why must they…My village, my friends, my family…Why, why did t-they tell…me? None of this…w-ould've ha-happened if…they never, never came to me…"
"I don't know, Wendy." He replied with a sigh before slowly returning to her side. She didn't resist as he squatted down at the bed beside her and began to smooth her messy hair locks. His own voice choked with a slight whimper as the memories of the far away past again invaded his mind. "You are still young. You are a smart girl, but you are young nonetheless. You will understand later on, that the three worlds… Earth Land, Heaven, and Hell…are nothing more than breeding grounds of hatred and sorrow. And it will remain so until the cursed Gods and Goddesses are eliminated."
Feebly, he felt the stir of movement as the young girl lifted her head to look at him. Fresh tears were smeared all over her red face, but her eyes are no longer clouded with hate. Sighing, he wiped away one of the perfect dews at her eyes. "Wendy, never believe what people tell you right away… that's how prejudice is made, that's how misunderstanding is made, that's how hatred and conflicts are created. Never take things for face value. Up to this point, you have been stuck in certain situations and unreasoned hatred because you think with your head…"
"B-but…what do I do… t-then?" She shivered in his grasp before burying her face again into her hands. "If…I can't…trust the Gods and G-goddesses I've…trusted my, my whole life…what do I believe? W-what should I believe? What is right…what is wrong…" For some reason, he felt his heart torn apart just at the sight of the sobbing, helpless child.
"Look at me. Look at me…Damn it, look up, Wendy!" He shook her until she obeyed him. He forced himself to look at her, even though it was a dead giveaway to have her see the bulging liquids of his own eyes. "Believe in no one, no one but yourself! Stop following what everyone else thinks; stop thinking with your head! Be yourself and think with your heart!"
The tattered child gazed at his red, wet eyes for what seems to be an eternity. Then she suddenly grasped him harder and grabbed his neck. Shock pulsed throughout him and almost by reflex, a dark beam of energy materialized at his hand.
But then he immediately dissolved the attack when he suddenly found the child to be asleep, her hands still grabbing onto him as soft snores shook her body. And that is when he realized that his warmth had reached her.
That was when he realized that was the first time she had hugged him- her one gesture of affection.
Sorry for all the rambles in the beginning. I'll keep the ending simple, lol. Please review and stay tuned! The goal is: 320, please? *supppper cute puppy eyes :3* And happy holidays!