Together 18
Chapter 6: Shock
Mitchie's Point of View
My breath still caught in my throat my head was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. I sit down in a still finally breathing again. I kind of just stared at her as her eyes were wide as well.
"But..uh…" I said not able to form a sentence. To say I was in shock was a little understatement I just… what happened? She had loved Shane, then Erica, yeah but I mean. I am so confused help me. "You hate me because of Shane" I finally got out still in a daze
"No it's because you are loved by Shane"
"That's not my fault. We fell in love I mean sorry but you had two years to act upon them but you didn't. You really need to learn to let it go"
"Okay don't become a bitch. I was already with Nate before Erica died" she said and I just shook my head
"You have been a bitch countless times Caitlyn. I'm confused you loved Shane but was with Nate, what the hell" I said
"It's complicated" She said and I looked at her
"Then please explain I have time I am here for the next years and I won't tell anyone especially Nate" I said and she laughed
"They all know, like I said you are oblivious" She said and again I was in shock. What the hell so they all know and just didn't tell me that did kind of piss me off.
"Okay so wait. I need to know one thing. If you loved him before Erica why didn't you act on it"
"I did but he wouldn't return the feelings" She snapped
"Well you can't help it if he didn't feel the same" I said trying not to hyperventilate
"I never said that" She said "He told me he did, but wouldn't act upon it because Nate liked me" She said and I was about to lose it. Oh my god I didn't want to hear this but I knew I had to
"So he did act upon his feelings?" I asked
"We snuck around for about a month before his parents found out and we decided it wasn't worth the risk of losing Nate and yeah" She said and I was shaking but tried to hide it
"You ended up getting with Nate though" I said
"Yeah after a few months I started to like him. I love him now but it took a long time and I know I am still not fully over Shane"
"I mean you are with Nate so how can you not be over him"
"Look I was getting over it after Erica and everything seemed back to normal when he was with no-one. We were talking and hanging out like friends like we always have since I was 9. We were all friends. Then you swooped in and it was all about you. We never saw him and when we did he would gush about you and it made me like him more, because I couldn't have him no one should"
"That makes you a selfish bitch though" I said meaning it
"Well I hated you because you got to be loved by him when really I should've been. Because he did like me, and yes everyone found out what had happened because we told them to be honest. It's still hard for Nate but we work through it" She said and I was blinking back slight tears. Shane and I shared so many secrets but this was one I really should've known about.
"You have an amazing boyfriend you should be happy with who you have and not worry about what if's" I said
"I could've been with Shane Mitchie if Nate didn't like me. Do you not get it? We've known each other since I was 9 we were best friends and always had been so we should've ended up together not some orphan girl. You knew him for less than a month and he asked you to be his girlfriend. That is not right. I settled for Nate but I know he will always be second best"
"I can't believe you see him like that. That is horrible I am thankful for every second I have with Shane" I said tears started to get harder to blink back
"I will always like Shane and we will both always remember those steamy nights we had when we were 14, 16, always" I said and I didn't want to know more. I was freaking out I can't believe he never told me it would be better. "I will always hate you as long as you get Shane's love" She spat
"I can't do this anymore" I say walking to my bunk and grabbing my concert stuff then I left the bus knowing she was smiling. It was now raining outside like my eyes were now as I walked through the cold weather outside, despite the summer time. I walked into the stadium and found the dressing room that was set up for me. I closed the door locking it and still in my pyjamas I crawled on to the couch letting everything sink in as tears cascaded town my cheeks as I faded into darkness.
Shane's Point of View
Lisa, Nate, Jason and I were on our way back to the stadium then heading back onto our bus for the few hours until we had to go inside to start making sure everything was okay. I smile holding a small bag in my hands. I had bought a charm bracelet for Mitchie with special charms that would mean a lot to us. I was so excited to give it to her and I was hoping she would wear it well she performed. I smiled as we got to the bus. We all got on and Caitlyn was watching a movie.
"Hey Caitlyn" Nate said walking over and sitting beside her
"Mitchie, love I'm back" I said walking to the bunks. "Mitchie you up" I said and didn't hear anything. I opened the bunk curtain slowly seeing she wasn't there.
"Where is Mitchie" I asked coming back to the living area
"She went to the venue for something" Caitlyn said. That is randomly weird. I tried calling her phone but it went to voicemail, why was her phone turned off.
"I'm going to go find her" I said heading to the door
"She probably won't walk to talk to you" Caitlyn said and I looked at her
"And why wouldn't she" I asked
"Cause she found out about my hate" She said and my eyes went wide
"What did she find out" I said
"Everything it was in the heat of the moment but its better that she knows"
"You are a fucking Bitch, don't talk to me, ever" I said leaving the bus starting into a sprint to where we could enter. I got to the door and yanked it open running through the stadium guessing she would be in her dressing room.
I knocked on it quietly and sighed when I heard a small tear filled voice "Go away, I don't want to talk to anyone"
"Mitchie, love it's me please let me in" I said softly
"I especially don't want to talk to you. You lied to me and didn't tell me the biggest secret ever, go away and be with her" She said
"Mitchie I love you, and would never. I want to only be with you do forever, remember" I said
"Just go away" She said and I knew tears of hers were falling and I knew they were because of me. If I had told her got it out of the way, she might not be like this.
"Mitch please let me in?" I said softly tears welling in my eyes. I can't lose her not now and Caitlyn can't make that happen.
"No Shane just leave please." She said and a tear then slipped from my eyes. I sighed in defeat and left not knowing what to do.
I walked out of the stadium with no emotions but tears on my face. I didn't know how to feel. Depressed and sad because she's crying because of me, mad at myself for not telling her or ready to kill Caitlyn because I didn't know exactly what she said. I can't lose Mitchie. I sighed walking over to the parents busses and knocking on the door. Soon It opened and I looked up to see my dad looking at me worry now written on his face.
I walked up to the stairs and felt like a little kid as I wrapped my arms around my dad in a hug. I hated being weak and crying but that's what happens when I love someone this much, anything as small or as big as this would make me fall.
"Shane what's wrong" My dad said and I just shook my head knowing that the parents on the bus were all looking at me.
I raise my head and look at the parents staring at me and saw my mom's worried face and I nodded slowly then look at Caitlyn's dad. "I hope you are happy. Your spoiled little princess told about everything well we were gone so now I might lose Mitchie, I hate your daughter" I screamed lashing out
"Shane, it's alright calm down, let's go somewhere alone okay" My dad said and started to lead me out of the bus. We got out side and my mom came out and hugged me.
"Shane I'll go talk to her, is she on the bus" She asked
"Her dressing room" I croaked out as I felt like a baby but just hung onto my dad.
"Okay" She said and I watched as my mom walks to the stadium entering it.
"Let's go to your dressing room Shane" My dad said as I nodded and we went to my dressing room where I just curled up on to the couch sitting there beside my dad. I cried and just sat in silence. I didn't want to talk or do anything I was numb and just let the tears fall. I haven't yet but why do I feel like I lost Mitchie already.
The boys and I set up everything before the sound check without Mitchie and I found out my mom was still in there with her. My mom soon came over to the side of the stage and I ran to her.
"She is coming for the sound check" She said and I smiled nodding. Hopefully I would get to talk to her after that. I sat on the stage with the boys and watched as she came out looking like she just finished crying. She went onto stage and did her set and I smiled watching her lose herself in the music again leaving what was happening behind.
I stood up to great her when she finished as she started walking off the stage "That was amazing" I said but she just brushed past me going into the darkness of back stage just leaving me standing there. Nate and Jason shot me an apologetic glance. I turned to see my mom shrug and I sighed. I had to do this sound check matter how much I really did want to now. I sighed grabbing my microphone and the boys getting their instruments and went onto stage and did our sound check for the fans, why was this happening to me?
We did the sound check party and everything and got ready for the concert that night, I really needed Mitchie to listen to me. I was sorry for not telling her, but I didn't think he would find out this way. We were all there when she came out to do her set.
"Mitch" I said and she just shook her head standing getting ready to go on stage
"Rock it Mitchie" Jason said and she slightly smiled at him. I looked at her with pleading eyes and she just turned her head and got into her position. We were on tour together she couldn't constantly avoid me. I heard cheers form the fans and she started her set. This could not get worse, could it?
I watched her perform, hoping to get a minute to talk to her after but when Bruce finalized that we were doing the walk through the stadium all hope of that disappeared. She just finished the song Dream and now it was today was a Fairytale. I was hoping she would introduce it like she usually.
"How are we all doing now" She called and screams echoed through the theater.
"This song will always be important to me and who it is about. I know not every day can be a Fairytale and everyone knows that. As little girls we always dream of having our Fairytale ending we never get them like the books but we do create our own. Sometimes days are rough and hard and never are Fairytale like. However sometimes at the end of a day you can look back and reflect and truly say like my next song does, Today Was a Fairytale."
"That's just great" I say sighing knowing that she wasn't happy to be doing this song and it killed me to know that. Why now I mean she won't talk to me, I will not talk to Caitlyn. The only people I will talk to is Nate, Jason, Lisa and my parents. Nate is sparse because he knows he had some part in it but not really I would ever blame him for this. I sighed and listen to her doing her song and me, myself and time, this was so beyond hard to handle.
She finished and I and the guys were on the side getting ready. "Good job Mitch" Nate said and she nodded
"Thanks, but it doesn't change anything" She said glancing at me and giving the microphone to Nate leaving the area.
"Oh god this sucks" I scream and leave behind the curtain as me and the guys have to go get ready to do our concert. I don't know if I would ever be able to do the show like I usually should but it was not going to happen I would have to do my best. It's all I could do.
Mitchie's Point of View
Tears starting to spill again I got into my dressing room slipping into my sweats and a t-shirt wrapping a warm blanket that was on the couch around me. I was still sad and mad and I just couldn't deal with him now, I didn't even want to go on the bus. There was soft knock on the door as I heard the faint sounds of the opening number start.
"Come in" I call and Mrs. Gray walks in as I let out a small smile
"You did a good job Mitchie" She smiles sitting beside me on the couch
"I tried I just can't deal with all of this right now" I said "I don't want to do Much better or Turn right, I don't even want to go back on that bus" I said
"I know Mitchie, Shane does feel really bad though"
"I understand that, but he still should have told me… I just need a bit to calm down and think"
"As you know we have two parent's busses. 4 bigger bunks in all, so if you want you can stay in ours. I usually sleep with my husband on the lower bunk anyway, so you can have the one bunk for the night if you want" She said
"I don't want to put you out I just, I don't want to talk to him right now" I said
"I understand Mitchie, go get your stuff and go ahead on the bus if you want, get some rest, we can talk tonight, and you will get your own room in the hotel tonight when we finally arrive."
"Okay thank you" I said getting up and starting to pack my things getting ready
"Hopefully we can get this fixed for the rest of the tour" She said
"Mrs. Gray I don't know but maybe in the next 5 days after the LA concert that might be the end of the tour for me" I said and she nodded
"Okay I understand we will talk about that later" she said hugging me and I thanked her as I got my stuff and left going to the bus getting my things. I pack up my things even the pictures I had of me and Shane and threw them into my bags. I then made my way to the adult's bus I would be staying on and set up my suitcases. I had a shower freshening up as much as I could. I got dressed into pyjamas and crawled into the bed that was clearly empty. I turned my phone on seeing 3 missed calls 5 texts and a voicemail. All but one text was from Shane. It was from Ally.
Hey girly, we got tickets for your LA concert, excited to see you, hope you are having fun Love you
Hey Ally, that's great I will definitely see you then, but busy I will text later.
I smiled slightly sending the text and then I turned it back off curling up into a ball on the bunk. Sobs continuing and tears start to fall my body shaking I looked at the one picture frame of me and Shane on the swing. "I love you, but you hurt me" I said and slowly my body drifted into a restless, full of sobs sleep that was anything but peaceful.
Shane's Point of View
We were doing our set and during Turn Right I had to dance with Jennifer I was praying Mitchie could put aside the fight and just do Much Better with me. That's all I wanted and I knew she did that for her set, would she do that for me though.
It was time for Much Better and she wasn't at the side but I was hoping she was just joking around and was going to show up. I sang the beginning then got to the part where the music played.
"Now Miss. Much Better herself. Mitchie Torres everyone" I called and my mom came to the side of the stage and shook her head as my smile fell. "We are having technically difficulties with the equipment for us so just me tonight, lets continue" I called and continued the song by myself disappointed but I put of a front up and did the best I could to finish the song and the rest of the concert all though for the people that knew me they could tell I was struggling.
We finished the concert and when we outside we were met with fans. I signed a few things as fast as I could get to the bus. I ran into the bus and too the bunks praying she was there her bunk curtain closed. I took a deep breath and carefully opened it to heart break. Her bed was made but nothing of hers was there, there was only a piece of paper. I quickly grabbed it but walked to the back her suitcases were gone. She can't have gone home. I would never forgive Caitlyn or even myself.
I got off the bus and made my way to my parents doing my best to not get noticed by the fans. I got to my parents bus and saw my mom who wasn't even on the bus yet. "Mom" I called and walked over to her
"Hi Shane you saw?" she asked
"Yeah where is she, please tell me she didn't go home" I asked practically pleading
"No, she is on our bus"
"Thank god I need to talk to her" I said going to the bus
"Shane listen eventually you will talk but you need to give her space right now. We will talk later, when we arrive at the hotel but you won't be talking to her tonight, please just give her space, I know it's hard but you need to let her calm down and think okay"
"Mom" I said
"Shane I know it's hard, look the busses are almost ready to leave, we are going ahead we will meet you at the hotel okay, just let her be for now"
"Fine, but I'm not happy and please tell her I'm sorry" I said and she nodded getting onto the bus as I left and got back to ours going to Mitchie's bunk and getting in. I didn't really want to go into mine just in case I was stupid and forgot to secure it I would fall out. I leaned against the wall and heard the rest come in.
"Shane" Nate called walking to the bunks and seeing Mitchie's curtain closed "Can you guys come see pictures?"
"It's just me Nate, she is with mine and your parents and no I am not watching Pictured or sitting near your freak girlfriend I just want to be alone"
"Alright and Shane we really are sorry" he said
"Whatever" I sais not caring just staring at the wall as I felt the bus start to move zoning out into my own little world day dreaming about all the funs times and times I was hoping I would still have left with Mitchie. I ran my hand along my neck and found the chain and pulled it out staring at her ring.
"You are my soul mate" I say fingering the ring. I knew she wouldn't listen to it or read it but I sent her a text anyway
I am beyond sorry, I really just need you to know that, I do hope someday you will be able to talk to me I miss you XOX Shane
I sent it and just continued to stare into space as we were getting closer to the hotel for the night every minute. Finally after what felt like forever but was only 4 hours we arrived at the hotel. When we got inside I saw my mom and my dad. I looked to the elevator and I saw Mitchie with some of the dancers start to ascend and sighed as I turned to my mom and dad. They gave the other keys and handed mine to me.
"Hi Shane" my dad said "I will see you up stairs" He said too my mom kissing her and going to wait for the elevator
"Let's go to the lounge and talk for a minute Shane" she said and I nodded walking to the lounge and sitting at a chair with her
"Is she okay" I asked
"Shane she is hurt. I know you are sorry and I think she does too just she gave you her trust she might feel like you played it by not telling her but I do understand your reasoning" She said and I nodded "You both have your own rooms tonight, which is for the best." She said
"Alright, do you think she will be able to talk tomorrow or the next day" I asked
"I don't know Shane. She told me tonight that maybe LA will be her last concert. We still can talk to her and me and your dad are doing our best to help her and try to not make that happen" My face fell
"I have to finish it because of the contract but she wouldn't would she?" I said and she shook her head "Mom I can't lose her again, but I already feel like I have " I said tears streaking my eyes.
"I know Shane but I don't think you have, maybe she will talk tomorrow and we will help in all ways we can, we should go to bed though okay try to get some rest" She said and I nodded and I stood up and hugged her
"Thanks mom" I said and she nodded as we go to the elevator and start ascending to our rooms.
We get to the floor and I stop at my room. My mom notions to the room across the hall and I nod and hug her. "Goodnight mom" I said blinking back tears
"Goodnight Shane, and in privacy let it out" She said and I watched as she started down the hall and I looked across the hall. I sighed and entered my room. I changed and crawled into bed forgetting about brushing my teeth I wasn't in the mood. I was about to turn off the light when I remembered the note I got that was in my pocket. I retrieved it and lie in bed with only the bedside light on. I took a deep breath and unfolded it reading it.
Shane,
I don't know why you didn't tell me but I hope you know you could've. It would've been better than the way I was told. I might have been mad and in shock but I would've known you trust me. I think you do but I don't know why you didn't tell me. I am done with this right now I need space and time to think. I also don't know how much more hate or hurt I can take since I came into this world. We will need to talk this through. I don't know yet but LA might be my last stop. Maybe we will talk before that but I don't know it might be after this part of the tour or all of it. I love you and I hope you still love me. We might be able to get through this if that's the case.
Mitchie
"No" I said tears falling from my eyes clearly blood shot and I crumpled up the note and through it to the floor. "I need you to stay" I said staring at the ceiling acid tears falling down my cheek.
I didn't know what I would do. With her saying she might be done in the next 5 days made it fell real that I lost her already. I couldn't not again, not for good, I needed to find out a way to fix this. I felt so alone, so helpless and so clueless and I lay in bed my bloodshot eyes staring at the silent ceiling.
"Why am I the one to experience so much heart break? I thought everything happened for a reason but this is just Cruel. What did I do that was so wrong to suffer pain like this? God why are you punishing me when all I want to do is my best and love her. Maybe she is too good for me." I said closing my eyes sobbing. I feel my body heaving and sink into the darkness, one that I was terrified to experience. The brightness of sleep wasn't in my arms but instead in a bed all alone across the hall and my mind went blank.
A/N: I need to breathe and finish writing this note through my tears. I don't know why I rip my characters apart and do this to myself but we needed drama was that enough for you. What is going to happen is LA really going to be her last stop and can Shane get to her and explain before that. I guess you will just have to see. Let me know what you thought and think will happen. What about the charm bracelet Shane bought for her? Please read and review. Enjoy!
~Kim