A/N: All right, y'all, here's this chapter and I really hope you like it. It's completely new, nothing in here that you saw in HoM so I hope you like the change of pace. I think it gives a lot more insight into Jake - I knew this happened all along, meaning it was always a part of the plot in my head, but I just could never fit it into Nessie's POV. Which is the entire point of Undeniable, really.

So, yes. I know Leah is nearly impossible to write and I know that I'm not the best Leah-writer to ever live, but I hope my Leah is passable. I hope you like the tiny little flashback too - let me know what you think about that. And, well, all of it really.

Disclaimer: I regret to inform you that I own none of this. I can't even say I own the credit for picking the lyrics, because the ones for this chapter were pointed out to me by my good friend Katie. So there's her little bit of cred - I don't know what I'd have put if she hadn't helped me out. On a side note, this is probably one of the few (if not only) time the lyrics weren't very obviously about Jake and Nessie's relationship. Hm . . .

Desperate Enough to Ask the Devil

although you were biased, i love your advice
your comebacks, they're quick and probably
have to do with your insecurities

- jason mraz, beautiful mess

-

I woke up first thing in the morning and pulled on my jeans and rinsed off my face before I woke Nessie. Last night was ridiculous, and it was all my fault. Nessie squirmed her way out from under me and when I'd tried to give her my parting kiss, she'd avoided it and bounded into the bathroom, mumbling some crap about having to wash her hair.

Then I heard the crying. I wanted to punch myself in the face, or at least give the shitty motel walls a few holes or something. Nessie was so sexually frustrated that she was crying. How in the hell - what was I going to do?

I - I had to ask Leah. I had to, and I would - I would swallow my pride, threaten her not to make any lewd comments, and be as vague as possible while guarding my thoughts like a hawk. Like a wolf.

I wasn't going to get Nessie's hopes up only to leave her more frustrated than before. If I thought I could . . . do this for her, pushed us further than we'd ever gone, only to be unable to push her over that edge - well, my ego taking a hit would be the least of my problems. I don't think my poor Nessie would be able to stand it.

I had to have at least a little more basic knowledge before I attempted anything. I threw myself into one of the shitty chairs and buried my head in my hands while I waited for her, and when she finally came out, I could easily tell she had been crying. Maybe somebody else wouldn't have, but I knew her too well.

I apologized about a hundred times it felt like, between the time she came out of the bathroom and the time she floated off to sleep. And the worst part was, I couldn't even hold her. She didn't want me to - it was hard for her, I could tell by her body language, so I stayed away. Even when it was time to go to sleep, Nessie didn't burrow her tiny body into the side of mine like she usually did, but just held out her hand and twined her fingers through mine.

"I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered, but I shook my head to wave it off. "It's just . . . really hard."

"I know, Ness."

She sidled into my side then and I arranged myself so she could rest her head on my arm. Nessie left a few inches between our bodies.

"I'm sorry for not stopping us sooner," I whispered, shushing her when she opened her mouth to protest. I kissed the corner of her forehead lightly - I wouldn't take more, not now. "It's my fault. Now sleep."

She tilted her face up towards me, which usually meant she wanted a kiss but I reckoned I must be wrong since she was still so upset. The scent of her arousal still lingered around her - it usually didn't after a shower.

"Jake." I looked down to see Nessie tilting her face towards me a little more. She did the sexiest thing with her lips where they got . . . bigger. Then I realize she was offering her lips for a kiss. Damn. "Goodnight kiss?"

I couldn't say no to her, so I leaned down and pressed my closed lips gently to hers. Nessie smiled when I pulled back.

Soon after that, she faded off. I hated to wake her up now, but this was important. I shook her gently awake and told her I needed to go phase. A small crinkle appeared between Nessie's big brown eyes, and she looked so adorable as she pushed a lock of hair away from her face.

I forced myself to keep my eyes on her face and not laugh as she had a tiny kicking fit to get the covers off.

"But you just phased two days ago," she said, like I had been hoping she wouldn't.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I felt like my facial hair was coming in again and I wanted to nip it in the bud, but I hadn't lied to Nessie before and I wouldn't start now.

"Well, you know, better safe than sorry." There. I didn't lie and I didn't answer her.

Nessie nodded and took my offered hand, letting me pull her up.

"Sure, sure." She looked around, still half-asleep, and reached for her bag. "You're right, Jake. Let me just change my clothes really fast."

She dropped her bag then and walked to the bathroom without it, I reckon just remembering her clothes from yesterday were still in there. She was so cute when she first woke up.

She came out a few minutes later with her face washed and her clothes from yesterday on. Her hair was a mess of curls, tumbling around her shoulders and down her back. I snatched the hairbrush out of her reach when she went for it.

"Leave it like that."

"Seriously, Jake?"

I nodded, and tried to give her my puppy dog eyes. "I like it."

Nessie rolled her eyes at me, but just held her hand out for mine which I gave her.

"Well, come on then, let's hurry up so you can go change into a huge, mythical wolf."

I grinned at her. "I don't think there's a time limit."

"But it's like stretching, right?" Nessie asked, surprising me. It was surprisingly like stretching, especially once you were practiced. And Nessie had never even seen me make the change - "And they say stretching is best done in the morning . . . "

"Who says?"

"Them."

"Who are they?"

"People."

"Vampire people? Because you know I don't trust them."

"Oh, just come on, Jake!" She tugged at my hand with both of hers, leaning back with her full weight, but I stood my ground easily. "I just read it somewhere. Let's go!"

I grinned and gave all my weight to the momentum suddenly so Nessie stumbled back, catching her at the last minute. She gave a little shout of surprise and narrowed her eyes at me in playfulness.

"You like to hold the fact that you're big and tall and strong over me, but you're going to come running one day when you need somebody to crawl under a gate or slip into a crawl-space or something."

I chuckled a little as I led her out the door and towards the woods nearby.

"Like I would let you shove yourself into a crawl-space," I snorted. "I'd just rip it open and get whatever I wanted from inside."

Nessie rolled her eyes but didn't say anything and we were silent until we got far enough in for me to phase. I pulled off my shirt and gave it to Nessie, watching in surprise as she lifted it to her nose and breathed in.

She blushed bright red when she saw me. "I just - I like the way you smell. It lingers on your clothes."

I didn't want to embarrass her anymore so I just smiled and walked off to go phase, more turned on than I should have been. I took a second to cool down, let my mind go blank. Leah better be there - and alone too. I took another few seconds before I stretched, as Nessie called it, and let the change roll over me.

I sensed only one other mind - a distinctly feminine one. If you could call Leah feminine.

Heard that, asshole.

Yes. God loves me.

Yeah, um . . . okay. I was so concentrated on keeping Leah out that I think it caught her attention. Okay, I know it did. So what's got you trying so hard to keep your mind blank? What doesn't Mr. Alpha want me to see? Been up to something naughty with little miss Nessie?

Now that hit a nerve. It was none of her goddamn business. Leah . . .

Oh, come on, Jake - you know I don't care and I don't wanna see anyway. So, what're you even phased for? Seth said you checked in like two days ago. Everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine. I kept my mind perfectly blank as I walked out to Nessie. I sat down beside her, not touching her or looking at her. I didn't want to have to look at her when I asked Leah about this.

Ask Leah about what?

Fuck. I've, uh . . . got a problem. And I was wondering if I could . . . ask your advice.

Why me? Leah's surprise was a little too clear in my mind.

It's kinda . . . girly.

I thought I didn't technically count as a girl?

Come on, Leah, don't be like that. I - really need your help, okay?

Well, what is it? Little Nessie get her period for the first time and go into bloodlust?

Shut the fuck up, Leah. I bit back a growl so I wouldn't disturb Nessie. She had sidled closer to me and was scratching my ears now. Don't say shit like that about her - I'm fucking serious.

Fine, fine. I could see inside's Leah's mind, I knew she didn't really dislike Nessie and was just saying it to get a rise out of me, but - It worked.

Yeah, well.

So?

So?

What d'you need to know?

Shit. I hadn't even thought about what I was gonna say. I, uh . . . me and Nessie, we . . . well, Nessie is . . . fuck.

You know, Jake - I could feel Leah's smugness at whatever was bugging me. You could just stop blocking me and let me see so we didn't have to do this whole irritating back and forth.

We'll do it like this if I want to! I let the Alpha through in my frustration before I realized and winced mentally when I felt Leah's will bend to it.

Yes, Alpha.

Fuck, I'm sorry, Leah. I hated doing that. I hadn't even meant to that time. I'm just really stressed - you don't even have to help me if you don't want, but Nessie just . . .

Just show me, Jake. Damn.

So I did. I thought carefully, trying to keep memories, images, out. Just clinical thoughts, focusing on the grass in front of me so it was the only visual Leah would get. I thought about Nessie's frustration, and how it was affecting her, affecting our relationship until we could hardly kiss without it getting out of hand. I thought about how I wanted to help her . . . relieve her frustration but didn't know how. How I wanted to do it without going too far.

Leah's only response was a stunned, Oh.

So?

Why are you torturing yourself, Jake? I felt her honest confusion, and a little . . . jealousy, but I pretended I didn't. Leah, of course, knew that, but ignored it too. Nessie seems ready. Why don't you just . . .

No. I didn't need any encouragement in that direction. We're . . . waiting.

I felt Leah's mental snort. What, for marriage?

She felt the confirmation in my head and then her thoughts turned incredulous.

Are you serious, man? That's just stupid. You're imprinted! No marriage is gonna . . .

Leah, I thought sternly. That's not what I need advice on.

Okay, okay. I felt her thoughts scramble a little, felt her slow down running some. Um . . . so you want to . . . get her off, right?

I winced at the crudeness of the statement, but chose to ignore it. How else did I expect Leah to say it? Y-yeah.

Well, just . . . shit, Jake, I mean. Touch her, man.

I - Fuck, what was I thinking of, getting myself into this? Leah winced mentally. I don't want to go too far. I don't . . . want to undress her. I mean, there isn't anything we can . . . do through clothes?

God, Jake, you are such a virgin, Leah thought, not exactly unkindly.

But I still thought back defensively, Yeah, I am!

I'm just saying - most twenty-four year olds know about shit like this. I could tell Leah's rudeness this time was from her slight embarrassment too, so I didn't take too much offense. Like, I know you imprinted when you were seventeen, but damn.

Leah, I thought tiredly. Do you have a solution for me or not?

Haven't you ever heard of dry humping?

I did the mental version of spluttering for a few seconds. I don't - even - that's not - I don't want to -

Somewhere in there, I think Leah grasped what I meant from my thoughts because hers answered mine exactly. Yes, that can get her off too, and Jake - are you a masochist or what? You can . . . enjoy yourself too, damn.

That's none of your business. I felt myself getting ill and defensive again, but how was it Leah's business? I had to keep control and I couldn't do it if - besides the fact that just the name of it sounded horrible - I was dry humping Nessie. If I had my hips against hers like that -

Woah, Jake - calm down, seriously. I realized with shock that my lust had been traveling through to her. I felt her try to calm herself down. That's - wow, that's pretty fucking strong.

That wasn't even all of it.

Okay, okay, just . . . I felt Leah struggling with herself to . . . be nice. Her thoughts got softer. I caught a flash, fast as lightening, of Sam's face. You can touch her with your hands . . . through her clothes or underwear, depending on what you want. Or what she wants.

Really? Would that work?

Even through . . . like, pajama pants? Would that be . . . enough? I can't believe I was even having this conversation.

It should be, Jake.

Then I was bombarded with the image of a much younger Leah, one I remembered from way back when, laid back on the Clearwater's couch. With a body that was unmistakably Sam's hovering over hers. He plucked at the waistband of her pants.

"No, Sam, not . . . yet," she whispered, to which Sam gave a sound of disappointment. "Just . . . through the clothes."

"Lee . . ." They were so young - Leah couldn't have been more than sixteen.

She took Sam's hand and guided it down between her legs, and I barely caught the burst of pleasure that she felt before Leah snatched the image away.

I was going to pretend I hadn't seen it, but Leah thought in my direction, Sorry.

S'okay.

I - I usually don't even . . . I guess when you just brought up that one thing, it . . . brought it back for a second.

S'okay, Leah.

Yeah?

I tried not to let my pity through because I knew Leah hated that. Memories always came back occasionally, but it was good to hear it wasn't that often for Leah anymore. Yeah.

So . . . um, yeah, Jake. It . . . feels about as good as it would for you, I'm sure. And if you're kissing and um . . . the rest of it, it should. I could still feel Leah's embarrassment from before. I mean, it's been forever since I've - but yeah. Just be gentle and do what her body tells you, Jake - you're fucking imprinted. The one thing about that freaky shit is that it will tell you what to do for her.

I was relieved, but knew I wasn't out of the woods yet. I just don't . . . she's so frustrated, and I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I got her all worked up and then couldn't . . .

Shit. Why the hell had I even said all that?

You can, Jake. Weird, freaky, wolf-baby-making-magic, right? I only felt a little bitterness - mostly just humor. I'm pretty damn sure you can, just make sure not to give me a rundown of it the next time you phase - that's all I ask.

Don't worry. If I got to see something so . . . intimate, experience that with Nessie . . . nobody else would be fucking see it.

Well, good. Because none of us need to see it. I felt Leah's mental smile. Besides, Quil might get jealous. His imprint got a two year head start on yours and he's still got at least five years to wait.

Leah, you know the imprint's not -

Like that, she finished for me. I know. It was a joke this time, Jake. Jeez.

Okay, well . . .

Oh, go get back to your imprint, you pervy wolf. She cringed. Between you and Seth, I'm going to have to start washing my brain out with bleach. I got used to living without all those naked women in my brain.

Whatever, Leah. I mentally smiled, hoping Leah'd catch it. I got up and started walking back towards the bushes. Thanks a ton anyway, though, and if you could . . .

Keep it to myself? Sure thing, Romeo - I've got no need to relive this conversation over again.

Hardee-har-har. I'm going now.

Yeah, okay - and Jake? She caught me right before I was about to phase back. I know you, like, had no choice because as far as you knew Seth's still a little virgin and Quil's like all magically confined to PG-thoughts and all . . . and Embry's, well . . . Embry and gross. But anyway, just . . . thanks for like, asking or whatever, I guess.

I was, needless to say (or think), shocked. You're . . .welcome then.

Not that this conversation was pleasant at all, but just . . . you know, that you trusted my opinion or something equally "girly". Like you said, I'm not good with it.

No problem, Leah. She acknowledged my thought. See you around.

Oh, just go!

I phased. I pulled my jeans back on slowly, a knot tying itself in my stomach. I had my solution now, I knew how . . . to help Nessie. It was so simple I had missed it, but now I knew. Now I just had to do it.

I needed a game-plan, courage . . . . and most of all, I needed control.

I zipped up my jeans and walked out to Nessie, who hopped up when she saw me coming - presenting me with my shirt. I gave my eyes a second to rove her body - her beautiful hair and face and neck and round, full breasts and flat stomach and gorgeous hips and slim thighs. And her amazing ass, even if it was hidden from my view right now.

If things didn't . . . go haywire or I didn't die from my stomach eating itself out, by the end of tonight that beautiful body would be writhing against me in pleasure. It had before, but tonight it would be the ultimate please - orgasm.

I was going to do that for Nessie. I would.

If I could. Nessie licked her full lips and reached forward to wipe what was apparently some dirt from my stomach. My abs tightened under her fingers and she blushed and smiled at the same time.

God help me.

Coming up:

Nessie pulled me down against her, until our chests were pressed together, her nipples hard enough for me to feel through both of our shirts. Thank God I had mine on - thank God I was wearing jeans. Thank God I'd had enough sense for that.

Thank God for Nessie.

After a few minutes, Nessie pulled her lips away from mine and I was about to ask her what was wrong but she just laid back and watched me, rolling her hips into me with each swirl of my fingers. Her pajama pants were almost slick against my fingers now - I was holding onto the wolf by a few threads - and I couldn't believe that was even possible.

I swirled my finger over a small nub-type thing that seemed to be the source of most of the pleasure - it's what got the most reaction from Nessie anyway - and Nessie's eyes fluttered, like they were going to roll back in her head.