If Tears Were Stars
Tori's p o v
She crawled into bed about an hour later I was half asleep when I felt how heavy her body was as she laid down.
How could a girl who was only 16 have such heaviness on her shoulders.
I felt her shoulders shaking what should I do? Reach over and try to comfort her? Risk her killing me? Let her go and respect her privacy?
Was respecting really helping?
How was ignoring the problem helping her when her body was filed with cuts and bruises some up to 6 inches long. Her checks hallowed darkened.
I wanted to help her but how do you help someone who hates you who doesn't trust you?
Jade please talk to me
Her body stiffened don't shut down please I took a deep breath.
You called me remember that has to mean that somewhere deep inside
You know we are friends
You'll hate me Vega
No Jade I won't trust in me
She didn't answer I thought she had fallen asleep closing my eyes I sighed rolling over.
My parents divorced when I was eight
She was talking holy chiz.
I bet that was hard Jade
Hard Vega? Hard is when your teacher pops a surprise test on you when you were up all night playing video games.
Hard is trying to memorize rap lyrics and trying to sound convincing
No Vega it was f great
I flinched
After all the years of listening to them tear each other apart it was acutely peaceful
I never heard a kid call a divorce peaceful before.
I mean what kid doesn't love to wake up to an empty house where their dad use to be watching sports game fixing their favorite breakfast.
What kid doesn't want their mom there making cookies with milk for you just so you could have a snack when you came home from a long day of school.
Oh not me Vega cause that never happened in my house even before they split
Before they split ha
Jade laughed sarcastically
Well before dad would get up early just so he could scream at me to get my lazy ass up and make him breakfast because I had to earn my keep.
Mom of course would yell at him for being a total gank to me and they would start fighting
Which only made him more mad cause than he would hit me and body slam me against the wall
He always managed to smash at least three things which he would make me clean up.
Mom would cry and beg him not to hurt me but he would scream at her for being a useless tramp as he slammed the door.
Mom would be too upset to say anything she would just run off after him trying to apologize like she did something wrong.
After school well that was so much fun mom would be working late so I had to clean the house and start dinner take care of mu little brother all in between practicing my piano guitar and vocals plus do my homework.
I never got it all done it was never to his standards he would always be pissed off from work and I would always get the backlash.
It was the morning all over but worse...
If I cried I got beat so bad even the cops were afraid to touch this case
I learned how to never cry
I could see that even now she was trying to not shiver at these memories my heart broke thinking of Jade being so young so helpless and being hurt by the man who was suppose to be her protector.
After the separation which was all my fault cause I was the root of all their problems
Financial, emotional and everything else according to him
He was never around he started dating models and kids cramped his style
Mom had to work three jobs just to try to give us what we needed
Chiz Vega it was downright awesome I had the house all to myself after school
No parents no cleaning no making dinner no rules
I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted
I felt her emotions mixed up part sarcasm part serious.
Party on
She became quiet. Who's he? The man that was in the hospital room?
She curled back up as she rocked her voice got softer like she was mocking someone.
He's a cop Jade you'll love him
He's strong he's a real man Jade he loves kids
He always wanted a daughter
She didn't go on I reached over taking her hand in mine her voice shock when she went on.
I can still feel his breaths on me
His touch on my skin
People say I'm crazy
Jade you don't have to
I told people I fell down the stairs the first time he pushed me down the stairs
I broke my arm
The second time I was chasing my little brother I tripped over my own bag
I broke my nose
No one suspected him when he laughed to the school officials and told them I was clumsy
No one smelled his Bourbon breath
No one expect me
No one believed me when I told them
When I was brave enough stupid enough to tell
The cops Jade
He was the damn law Vega what part of that don't you get?
He got a purple heart for his bravery he saved kids from a burning building
He volunteered for a little league
Jade
Forget it
No
Jade please
I'm not worth it
Yes you are you are worth it
Says who? Not god
I use to pray you know Cat always told me god would save me she would make me kneel with her
She would pray for me she would cry to him to help me
She trusted him
I trusted her so if she said he would help me he would right
Who could refuse Cat she's so sweet so innocent so loving so devoted
Well apparently god didn't care
Jade I care
Silence
What happened last night?
Same thing that happens every time I forget
Forget what?
To lock my door
Jade
She turned to me her eyes so full of pain looked me dead straight in mine which were probably as big as beach balls bouncing on waves.
He raped me