Chapter 38: Another Story

I couldn't bear to hear another word. So, Pippin was miserable and heartsick for me…now.

One part of me wanted to dash back to Hobbiton and take him in my arms and pretend that this whole thing had never happened. But the other part of me said that I couldn't trust this. I had no way of knowing if this was his genuine wish, to finally be together…or if it was just some childish game to him. Oh, he wanted me now. But only because I was out of his reach, and because someone else wanted me.

Someone who seemingly deserved me more at this point. I felt the shame of what I had done to Frodo triple as I thought of all he had done for me. If he had only turned me away that first day, broken and half-mad in the back of that cart…I don't know where I would have ended up.

But he hadn't. He had accepted me the way I was…which was not too pretty when I think back on it. I was more than a bit cracked, bruised, sullied, lying…and pining away for his cousin with such vehemence my head should have burst.

He had known that I was pregnant from the very start and it had not changed him…much.

I bit my lip as I thought of how excited he must have been. We were so close. Everything I wanted was within my grasp. Or had been, I had just been too stubborn to notice it, wearing a different face as it was.

I wanted only to see a mop of red curls and a pair of clever green eyes. I was blind to anything but that. I had been blind to everything but that. I don't think that I ever really saw Frodo for what he had been to me.

I looked up at Sam. "What do I do now?" I asked half-heartedly. I just wanted to go back to hiding really. I wanted to go back to people not knowing who I was and where I came from, but that was really impossible now, after finding out I was staying with Sam's aunt and uncle.

That was still a shock to me. I had never thought in my wildest dreams that Padroc might somehow tie back to what I had left behind me in Hobbiton. Funny how things worked out, ironic actually.

"You come back down to that be-damned party with me, that's what you do." Sam said with a grimace.

I laughed. "Oh come now, Sam! They really can't be that bad."

He wasn't going to get me out of this room unless he felt like dragging me out. And I was a bit heavier now than the last time he had helped Merry and Pip hold me against my will. I should have kicked him in the shins then, and I would certainly do it now.

If he tried it, that is. But this time Aragorn wasn't here to egg him on, so I stood a good chance of persuading him otherwise if worst came to worst.

"They are. All everyone wants to ask me about is why he or she wasn't invited to the wedding. And Rose deserted me at the first invite of some bubble brained cousins of mine."

I swallowed hard. "Rosie's here?" I was definitely not coming out of here now.

He nodded. "Do you really think I would face all of these crazy hobbits by myself?"

So, this must have been one of the cousins Padroc had mentioned that had been recently wed. I should have put two and two together while I'd had the chance…

"You go, have fun. They're your family, enjoy this as a me-free zone." I told him with a laugh.

But he didn't seem as if he was going to let that happen. "You're as good and family to me, Merna." He said simply, stretching out a hand.

He was so sweet…and so blunt. I really had missed him, more than I had realized. I sighed because I didn't deserve him.

"I don't think I can face them Sam. I heard what they were whispering when I was showing them to their rooms. They'll all be scouting round for this one's father." I said, tapping my belly lightly. "And I don't want to see their faces when they realize he's no where to be seen. And besides, I tore up the only dress that I got to fit me."

My temper and I weren't exactly on good terms as of late. And when I was angry, I felt I just had to destroy something. Or tear something, as things would have it.

Sam shook his head, hand still outstretched. "I'll clout anyone who feels like talking smart about you, it'll give me something to do. And as for the dress, you look perfect the way you are." He smiled encouragingly.

"Samwise Gamgee, that was an outright lie and you know it." I looked down at my button-up men's shirt, the ends tattered and hanging well past my waist, my faded blue drawstring skirt, tied below the bump of my baby, my hair a mess from crying, sleeping and lack of brushing. And I just knew there were smudges of charcoal on my face.

He blushed, and I laughed. "Well, you don't look that bad." He amended.

I sighed. "You're hopeless, you know that? Stop trying to make me feel better, I know I look a mess." I smiled at him though, as I said it.

He smiled too. "You have seen your better days." He mumbled.

"I know." I laughed outright. "Now turn round while I rummage for something to wear."

"Are you sure that you don't want me to leave the room?" He face had reddened again, and his head looked more like a beet perched on his shoulders than anything else.

I raised an eyebrow. "Just turn around, Sam. I've never been a very modest one, you know."

He sighed, exasperated, but seemingly going to do what he had to do to get me to cooperate, and turned around, arms folded across his chest. I could still see the blush that was burning in his face…his ears seemed as if they were glowing. "I know." He mumbled under his breath.

I chuckled to myself and quickly pulled from the dresser my darkest green skirt, the only clean one I had left, and a shirt with elvish embroidering around the collar and snapped the drawer shut. I was going to look odd, the dress I had worked all day yesterday on a much better choice than this outfit, but oh well.

I slipped into both of them warning Sam not to turn around. The skirt fit me well enough, but I had to tie it under my bump, and immediately it started to bother me. The shirt was a gift from Galadriel, the only elvish piece of clothing I had brought with me. It was an airy thing, creamy green in color with loose sleeves and no buttons or ties to be seen. The embroidery was intricate, all twining leaves and little white flowers.

I sighed, still warning Sam to stay turned away even though I was decent, as I wanted him to witness a full transformation.

I looked at myself in the small mirror leaning against the desk. I was right about the hair, and the smudge on my face. I stuck my thumb in my mouth and then rubbed it off. I ripped a brush relentlessly through my tangled curls. The nice face framing bob that I had had now grown halfway to my shoulders. Long enough to be annoying and little else.

I pinned my bangs back from my face and tucked the rest behind my ears, smiling as I admired their cute little peaks in spite of myself. I still wasn't used to them.

I sighed at my appearance; still feeling my face was missing something. I pinched my cheeks lightly to bring color to them, and bit my lips to make them redder. But my eyes still looked as if I'd been crying. So, with a sudden flash of inspiration, I grabbed up a piece of charcoal off of the floor near the desk chair and drew a fine line of black coal just beneath my bottom lashes on both eyes.

"Ok, you can turn around now." I said in defeat.

Sam did, immediately, standing up as well. "Wow." He said softly as he looked at me.

"Good?" I asked my voice just as quiet as his. "I look really pregnant, don't I?" I added as an afterthought.

He shrugged, a lopsided grin on his face, a grin that looked scarily close to Padroc's signature one. "You look perfect to me."

I groaned. "You're really going to make me do this, aren't you?" I was already dreading having to face Rosie. Let alone Padroc and his questions, and I hadn't even chipped the tip of the iceberg when it came to the rest of the family.

"Of course I am, you goose." Said Sam with a laugh; he offered his hand to me again.

I walked over and took it this time. "The food better be good." I muttered, my heart was already pounding. I really disliked being surrounded by large groups of strangers. But I was willing to do this for him, to make up for some of the worry I had caused him in the last three weeks.

"The food will be great. And don't you worry about a thing else. I'm going to be right with you the whole time, nothing's going to go wrong if I have anything to say about it." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I sighed. "Well, no use putting this off any longer than I suppose. I smell fried chicken and all I've eaten today was….well…you don't want to know." I laughed at myself, and his inquiring look as we made our way out of the door.

I didn't allow myself to think of what I was going to do after this was all over and Sam and Rosie would be heading back to Hobbiton. I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

OOO

Gah! I almost updated the wrong chapter tonight! I suppose that's what updating late at night will do to you...as a heads up, I've got chap 39 finished...wrote all day so I'd have something to post for you guys, and now I realize I had an extra chapter in reserve all along.

Umm...while I'm thinking about it, I got only two reviews on the last chapter! (two very GOOD reviews) Praps I am losing my touch, eh? Well, happy reading nonetheless.

Love, a very tired PLK